Writing Teacher Jokes
80 writing teacher jokes and hilarious writing teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about writing teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Writing Teacher Short Jokes
Short writing teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The writing teacher humour may include short english teacher jokes also.
- My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid. Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
- Student: I've been writing my exam for 2 hours but haven't answered a single question!!! Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.
- A frustrated student handed in his exam. "I've been writing for two hours, yet i haven't answered a single question!" he complained.
"Well done, that's a straight A." replied the Politics Teacher. - Student: (*hands in exam*) "I've been writing for 2 hours but I haven't answered a single question!" Politics Teacher: "Congratulations, that's a straight A."
- My health science teacher told me to write a 1,000 word essay on drugs The paper became a taco and the floor was melting.
- An Act of Malicious Conpliance Teacher: Write a short story. You have a strict 140-character limit.
Student: Once upon a time, Snow White lived with 139 Dwarves. The end. - Checkmate Democrats If teachers don't have arms, how are they supposed to write on the board?
- Long sentence. So this happened in the school.
Teacher: " okay class, write a very long sentence "
Student: "life imprisonment". - My chemistry teacher told me to write 1000 words on acid I tried, but my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
- Imagine you're a millionaire. Write down your activities in a sheet of paper. Teacher: Why are you not writing anything?
Me: I'm waiting for my secretary.
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Writing Teacher One Liners
Which writing teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with writing teacher? I can suggest the ones about reading teacher and language teacher.
- My English teacher is living proof that Grammar n**... still exist. Sorry... Alt-Write.
Writing Teacher Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about writing teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make writing teacher pranks.
The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family.
A smart-a**... student pipes up: "What about extreme s**... exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Twin brother were in a same class. Teacher ask them to write their father’s name.
They wrote different name.
Teacher was shocked and ask them why did they wrote the different names.
They reply, ” Now you wont say that we cheated”.
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
Teacher: What are you waiting for?
Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: "
I didn't had no fun for months."
Then she faces the class and says, "OK class, how should this be corrected?"
Little Johnny says, "I think you should get yourself a better man!"
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home.
He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?"
His father replied, "Figure it out."
Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?"
The teacher said: "Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
A teacher notices that a student is not writing notes in his class
Teacher: "Why are you not writing down notes?"
Student: "I broke my glasses, I can't see the board"
Teacher: "How did you break your glasses?"
Student: "Yesterday, while kissing"
Teacher, curiously: "What!? How?"
Student: "She closed her legs"
A teacher reminds her class of tomorrows exam
A teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-a**... student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess...
The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. "If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day," the teacher explains. "Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. "Well," Tommy begins, "I played in the sand box with Suzy!" "Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word 'sand' I'll give you a gold star." So Tommy goes up to the board, spells 'sand' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks Suzy, "Suzy, what'd you do for recess today?" So Suzy answers, "like Tommy said, we played in the sand box together." "Okay," the teacher thinks, "if you can come up to the board and spell 'box' I'll give you a gold star. So Suzy spells 'box' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks the third student, "Tyrone, what'd you do for recess today?" "Well I wanted to play in the sand box with Tommy and Suzy but they wouldn't let me," Tyrone answers. "Oh no!" says the teacher, "That's terrible! Do you know what that's called? That's called 'racial discrimination.' If you can come up to the board and spell 'racial discrimination' I'll give you a gold star."
Kids from around the globe were asked to write an essay...
and the teacher asked, "Please write in your own opinion about the insufficient amount of food in other countries."
But none of the could write it.
The kid from South America didn't know what 'please' was.
The Asian kid didn't know what 'your own opinion' was.
The European kid didn't know what the word 'insufficient' meant.
The Kid from Africa didn't know what 'food' was.
And the kid from North America had absolutely no clue what the heck were 'other countries'.
It was career day in Elm Park Elementary School...
and each student had to write about their dad's profession. Ruby wrote about her dad being a doctor and David wrote about his dad being a construction work.
When the teacher asked Johnny he said, "My dad is a p**... and a drug fiend."
"What?!?! Johnny, be honest. I know that's not what your dad does!"
"You're really gonna make me to tell the entire class that my dad is a banker?!"
Not really a joke with a punchline but this is something i wrote when i was 15, freshman year of highschool which got me suspended for a week.
The teacher told us to pair up and write a short children's story. The impending disaster of this situation was exacerbated because my friend happened to be in the class and was as like minded as me. Here's as much as we could read before the teacher kicked us out:
>The birds were chirping, and the bees were buzzing. Inside the bedroom, Mr Lumberjack arose with his morning wood... then a tiny squirrel came upon the windowsill, mouth full, panting ecstatically, to which the Lumberjack greeted, "good morning Mr Squirrel, have you had your nuts this morning?"
The teacher immediately cut me off there and sent me to the principals office.
Tomorrow's Final Exam
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate many excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the
student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to
write the exam with your other hand."
A teacher said to her class, "Suppose you were all millionaires, write what you would do"...
Everyone immediately began to write furiously, except little Johnny, who kicked back and put his feet on the table. The teacher walked over to him. "Why aren't you writing Johnny?" she asked. Johnny looked up. "I'm waiting for my secretary."
School Punishments
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny,Pat?"
"I just saw one of your garters!"
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"I just saw both of your garters!"
Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.
"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"
Little John in 1-minute Composition
The teacher asked the class to write a composition that involved at the same time s**..., royalty, and religion.
Not even two minutes had passed when Little John handed in his.
The arm of the teacher still raised to stop him, but she stopped the gesture as she read what he wrote:
And the queen said: Oh, my God, so good!
A teacher, in an attempt to get more enthusiasm from her students, asked them to write a summary of a baseball game.
Within minutes, the first one was handed in. It read, "Rain. No game today."
A creative writing teacher is having a conference with one of his students about his last piece and the grade he gave the student.
The student asked "Why did you give me an F?" The teacher responds "Have you ever heard that if you place a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters an infinite amount of time, they'll eventually write the works of Shakespeare?" He holds up the paper and says "3 monkeys, 10 minutes."
Realism
"Children," said the teacher, instructing the class in composition, "you should not attempt any flights of fancy; simply be yourselves and write what is in you. Do not imitate any other person's writings or draw inspiration from outside sources."
As a result of this advice Tommy Wise turned out the following composition: "We should not attempt any flights of fancy, but write what is in us. In me there is my stummick, lungs, hart, liver, two apples, one piece of pie, one stick of lemon candy and my dinner."
A mexican boy in english class...
A mexican boy in english class passed a note to his friend. The teacher saw it, and screeched "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
To which he replied, "writing an esé"
A teacher had given his class an assignment.
He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member).
A wise student pipes up: "What about extreme s**... exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
A third grade teacher addresses her class
..."alright class" she says, "before I let you go for spring break I want to remind you that I'm getting married this weekend and I'm no longer going to be Ms. Stevens I'm going to be Mrs. Prussy"
She writes M R S. P R U S S Y in big cursive letters on the blackboard and says "whomever remembers my new name when we come back from break gets a gold star for the day"
The ten days comes and goes and she's standing in front of her class early Monday morning and says"good morning class, I hope you all remembered that I got married over the break and my name isn't Ms. Stevens any more it's Mrs" And she writes M R S on the blackboard, turns around to a sea of blank faces.
Then one hand shoots up in the back
"oh! oh! Mrs. Crunt"
I'm writing a rebuttal for a coming inter-class debate and planning to use Manchester United's defence as an analogy, but my teacher says it doesn't even stand a chance.
I'm writing a rebuttal for a coming inter-class debate and planning to use Manchester United's defence as an analogy, but my teacher says it doesn't even stand a chance.
I'm now confused...
Poor Tommy
The teacher asked her class to write down on a piece of paper the type of work their daddies did.
The children, very excitedly, scribbled their answers
One by one, the teacher asked each child to stand and describe the job.
There was much laughter and screaming, apart from, that is little Tommy.
"Tommy, why do you look so sad?" asked the teacher.
Tommy slowly rose to his feet, and replied: "my dads a stripper in a gay bar".
The other children remained silent as Tommy continued:
"Sometimes, he doesn't come home, and my mummy sits crying, sometimes he sells his body for other mens pleasure."
There were gasps around the classroom, the teacher acted quickly and dismissed the children, telling them to go outside and play.
She then walked up to Tommy, put her arm around him, and asked "is that all true Tommy?
"No not at all miss. He really plays rugby for England, but i was too embarrassed to say"
A Mexican kid passes a note to his friend in class. "What do you think you're doing?" the observant teacher asks. To which he replies...
"writing an esé"
Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?
He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...
A college teacher said this about the finals tomorrow.
She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car c**..., or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete s**... exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the teacher said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"
An English class is writing an essay
One of the students asks how long the essay should be.
The teacher responds, "Like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep me interested".
Why wouldn't the student take writing advice from his Jewish English teacher?
He was anti-semantic.
A teacher reminds her class for tomorrow's exam
A teacher reminds her class of the yearly test tomorrow.
"And remember class, there is no excuse for missing the test tomorrow, not a hurricane, not a f**..., not a nuclear attack, nothing!"
Little Johnny in the corner then pipes up and says
"What would happen if I came into class suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The whole class bursts into laughter. The teacher walks up to Johnny and smiles and says
"I'd guess you'd have to write the test left-handed."
My english teacher asked us to write down tragedies from our lives
I chose to write down sins instead.
At school
A teacher writes on the whiteboard: HNO3 and asks a student:
\- What substance is that?
\- Hmmm... wait a moment... It's on the tip of my tongue!
\- Spit it out at once!!! That's nitric acid!
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and s**....
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.
My teacher asked me to write about a time I took a risk in life.
Apparently c**... isn't a valid answer.
Little Timmy wasn't the most gifted student in the class.
One day his teacher asked him to write a paragraph using the following words:
Defense
Defeat
Detail
This is what Timmy wrote -- The horse jumped over defense. First defeat. Then detail.
My trigonometry teacher was just removed from class...
He was caught writing really graphic things on the chalk board.
An essay on cricket match
Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!
Teacher : Why didn't you write your homework? Pupil : My dad is in a hospital
*7 days later* T : why didn't you write your homework this time?
P : my dad is still in the hospital.
T : wow, this must be serious.
*1 month later*
T : Let me guess, you didn't do your homework because your father is still in the hospital.
P : Indeed.
T: well, how come?
P : he's a doctor.
Kids in class were asked to write 3 diseases
One kid wrote:
1. h**..., AIDS
2. Cancer
3. /
The teacher asked what's '/' ?
Student replied it's a s**....
Once in school, I spelled redundant wrong
The teacher made me write it 500 times as a punishment.
Young Dave just learnt the alphabets
He had an amplified stage fear, he was too afraid to even talk to more than 10 people at a time
The teacher says "Dave, write all the alphabets on the board"
Dave nervously replies" no ma'am, I don't think I know them all"
Teacher says" come here and give it a try!'
Dave complies and writes on the black board
"A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z"
The teacher notices the mistake and asks" Where is the P Dave? "
"Running down my leg"
An essay by lil Johnny
The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and read his essay.
It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..."
"My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he all right?"
"He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
I remember my first period...
I was in kindergarten, and while I was writing, my teacher told me to put a little dot at the end of my sentence.
No one really expected my world language teacher to be so good at writing with a felt pen...
No one expects the Spanish Ink -precision
A small Japanese town has only two literature teachers, Ishu and Takashiro
One day Ishu falls ill and asks Takashiro to teach his classes for the week. Ishu had planned to give a surprise assessment tomorrow but hadn't finished writing the questions, so he asks Takashiro to finish them for him.
Ishu miraculously gets better the day after the assessment. He's still on leave but he tells Takashiro he'll grade the papers anyways as thanks for having his back.
Ishu reads the papers and is confused.
Takashiro-san, why is this in Spanish? Why didn't you write the assessment problems in Japanese?
It was a surprise assessment, and nobody expects the Spanish in quiz, Ishu-san.
After summer vacation classic
All the children inn school were asked to write on the chalkboard something significant that happened over the summer.
Anne gets up and writes the word puppies on the board, and says our dog had puppies this summer. Very nice says the teacher. George gets up and writes promotion on the board, acc says my dad got a promotion. Excellent! Very significant goes the teacher. Little Johnny gets up and puts a dot on the board. The treachery looks at out and says Johnny what's that dot why is it significant? He good it's not a dot, it's a period, I'm not sure why it's significant but my sister missed hers and my dad shot our neighbor and went to jail!
Teacher: "How would you describe your level of programming?"
Students: "Low"
Teacher: "Ok, fine, you can write programs in assembler then"
A teacher always gave her students 4 or 5 marks out of 10
Students asked why is that despite them writing the correct answer
Teacher:4, 5 inches is what my husband gives me everynight
I got into an argument with my English teacher about how I write about the past and the present.
It was intense.
Four students carpool to school.
They had a final exam and wanted to impress their classmates, so they agreed to arrive 30 mins late for the exam.
As soon as they arrived late, their teacher asked them why they were late. The driver responded: "we had a flat tire sir"
The teacher said: "very well, why don't the four of you sit right there at the back"
They sat down and started writing their test, only for the teacher to get to them and say: "there's been a change in the exam for the four of you. Question 1: which tire was flat?"
A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.
Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
Request
I don't know if i can post this here but i need to pass my math exam and my teacher passes everyone who writes a joke to make him laugh. I need the best math jokes.
Anyway here's a joke:
What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A middle school math problem!
And what do you gett if you search for your ex and don't know why?
A college math problem!
School Essay Test
A teacher says to her class Tomorrow morning there will be a set essay writing exam. You are all to be on your best form and well rested overnight
One lad pipes up with a smirk What if we are suffering from severe s**... exhaustion Miss?
Well, she replies you'll just have to try to write with your other hand!
s**... people jokes
A s**... student was copying whatever the teacher writes on the black board, but every time the teacher clears the blackboard he throws away the paper.
2 s**... men were speaking to each other one said 'i am freezing from the air conditioner'' the other replied " i am jack, from Florida''.
A s**... called the airlines to ask how long a flight to China would take, the customer service said '' 1 second'', he said thanks and hanged the phone.
2 stoners were listening to the 9:00 oo'clock news, one asked '' why is this news talking so long'' the other replied ''maybe it's the final episode''
The "L"
A kid was writing the numbers by extension on the board and he was doing very well for his age untill he wrote "elleven", the teacher saw and warned him about the mistake, so the kid looked at the board and then at the teacher and said "What, the L?"
A teacher has his students write an essay on, "What is bravery?" - one kid's entire essay was:
"That first time when this joke was told and one kid turned in his essay and it just said *"This is"* on it. That was classic!"
A teacher was getting fed up with one of her student's bad hand writing-
She said Your hand writing is absolute chicken scratch! I can barely read it. How are you going to get a job if your employer can't read what you write?
He said Don't worry, Miss. I'm going to be a doctor.
My teacher told me to write a sentence using the word harassment...
So I wrote I know a girl and "her a**... meant" a lot to me.
A teacher at a college reminded her pupils of the next day's final exam...
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' she said.
A smart-arsed kid at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and s**....
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'
A teacher asked her students to write an essay about " what would I do if I were CEO of a company"
She notices one of the kids is just looking out the window. So she askes him "Why are you not writing your essay?"
He answers :"I'm waiting for my secretary to come and type it for me"
My turn to translate a joke (from french)
So the school inspector enters a spanish course, and takes a sit in the back of the room, next to little Johnny.
The class begins, and the spanish teacher asks :
Who can translate this sentence? and writes the sentence on the board : Mi perro es moreno
Only little Johnny is raising his hand
- Little Johnny? she asks
- What a nice a**... she's got !
- Oh god ! That does it ! Get out, you rude child !
Little Johnny looks huffy, but gathers his stuff and starts to walk out.
Before leaving, he says to the inspector:
- Next time, if you don't know then don't suggest the answer
A college professor reminds her class of the next day's final exam saying, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever"
A guy sitting at the back asks, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?"
The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars.
5 minutes before the bell, Bob handed in a blank sheet of paper. "Bob!" yelled the teacher. "You've done nothing. Why?"
"Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do."
Who is the laziest person in class?
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
James and John were given a question from their teacher to which they had to answer
Their question was to write the past tense of a sentence
The boy has a cold
James wrote The boy had a cold
John wrote The boy had had a cold because it is grammatically correct to say 'had had' back to back
The teacher looked at the two answers and proceeded to mark Johns as correct and James's as incorrect
So to summarise: John, while James had had 'had', had, had had 'had had'; 'had had' had had a better effect on the teacher.
To clarify: this is not my joke, I found it on a video and it was really funny so I decided to post it
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
One smart-a**... jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme s**... exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Aw, that's so sad. Guess you'll just have to write with your other hand"
The teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week.
Little Johnny got up to read his.
It began, "My daddy fell in a well last week."
"Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"
"He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."
A traffic policeman was patrolling at a signal.
A woman ran a red light, and he pulled her over.
The woman said, Please let me go! I'm a teacher.
The policeman laughed and said, Time for payback.
He hands her a notebook and a pen tells her, Write: I'll never break traffic rules again 100 times.
The teacher asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in a well last week." "Good grief!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?" "He must be," said Little Johnny.
"He stopped calling for help yesterday