The Best 13 Writing Stand Up Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Writing Stand Up jokes. There are some writing stand up jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these writing stand up puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Writing Stand Up Jokes and Puns

Two scientists are trying to find the best source of energy.

They realise that no one has tried asking the energy sources what *they* think.

So they go to a coal-fired power station, and they ask the coal, "What do you think of coal power?"
The coal says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists write this down.

Then they go to an oil-fired power station. They ask the oil, "What do you think of oil power?"
The oil says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists nod and write it down.

Then they go to a wind farm. They ask a wind turbine, "What do you think of wind power?"
The wind turbine just stands there and says, "I'm a huge fan."

An older couple is watching tv...

And the man stands up and says, "I'm going to the kitchen. Do you want anything?"
His wife answers, "yes, please get me some chocolate ice cream with sprinkes."
The man starts to leave, when his wife says, "Honey, are you sure you don't want to write that down, your doctor said you may need to in order to remember."
"no, no, I'm sure I'll remember what you asked for."
A few minutes later, he returns with fried eggs and toast.
His wife says, "well, see, you did need to write that down. You completely forgot my bacon!"

I can't stand when people don't know when to write your or you're

There so stupid

A group of priests stand by the road...

... holding a sign "IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN BACK. THIS PATH IS DOOMED!!" Most people just drive by but then suddenly someone stops and yells at the priests: "No one will belive this religious bullshit! You're wasting your time!" After that one of the priests says: Maby we should just write "The bridge has fallen!"?

My wife and I played that game where you write down 5 people we're allowed to sleep with

Ourside of our marriage

She gave me her list and I scoffed at the predictability

Celebrities, athletes, she didn't stand a chance!

However as she read mine a look of complete horror swept over her face

And I was grabbing my coat when she screamed "where the hell are you going?!"

"I'm going round to see your sister," I said "good luck getting through to George Clooney's agent"


A man dies, standing before death. Death tells him that if he can beat him at a game, he can have his life back. The man thinks for a moment, asks for a slip of paper and a pen. He writes on the paper, folds it, and hands it back to death.

"The Game"

I'm writing a musical about a rag-tag team of Breitbart columnists standing up to the mainstream media elites.

It's called Fake Newsies.

You know why you write etc. in the exam?

It's because it stands for end of thinking capacity.

I was sitting in my house in England, looking at the news

I was sitting in my house in England, Looking at the news.
Hearing about what was being done to people on british soil by Russians infuriated me. I took it upon myself to write a long scathing article about Putin, and how we should stand up to him and not takes these shenanigans any more from him.

I was about to post it online and share it with my Russian friends, but then my nerves got the better of me.

I'm writing a stand up routine about my favourite spice...

It's a cinnamon shtick

[Serious] Would anyone be interested in seeing some stand up comedy writing on here?

Or is this not the right setting?

You can explore writing stand up reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean writing stand up dad jokes. There are also writing stand up puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


#MeToo seems like an inappropriate thing to write given the situation lately

For example, "I stand with women. Pound MeToo."

Why do people keep writing this?

I'm writing a rebuttal for a coming inter-class debate and planning to use Manchester United's defence as an analogy, but my teacher says it doesn't even stand a chance.

I'm writing a rebuttal for a coming inter-class debate and planning to use Manchester United's defence as an analogy, but my teacher says it doesn't even stand a chance.
I'm now confused...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the writing stand up jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working writing stand up piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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