Writing A Book Jokes
97 writing a book jokes and hilarious writing a book puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about writing a book that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Writing A Book Short Jokes
Short writing a book jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The writing a book humour may include short article writing jokes also.
- My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable. It was an autobiography...
- I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing It would definitely spice up my autobiography.
- I'm writing a book called 'Stop Overreacting.' If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.
- Venus Williams and Bruno mars were sitting at a bar talking about where they were from.
The bartender said, "Hey - you two should write a book!" - I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing. It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.
- Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.- Pavlov's Dog
- I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life. It's an oughtobiography.
- Do you think they would write a book about Ellen Page's transformation into Elliot? They really should.
It would be a real Page-turner - My wife said, Why don't you stop with your terrible jokes and write a book instead? I said, That's .....a novel idea.
- I've just finished writing my book on penguins... My wife thinks it would be better on paper.
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Writing A Book One Liners
Which writing a book one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with writing a book? I can suggest the ones about creative writing and letter writing.
- I'm writing a book about WD-40. It's Non-Friction
- Snoopy writes a Batman comic book. "He is the Dark and Stormy Knight..."
- I'm writing a book about Indian food... It's gonna be a naan-fiction.
- I have just completed writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don't buy it.
- I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes.. It's only a draft at the moment.
- Im just so overwhelmed with the difficulty of writing my own book There are no words
- I just finished writing a book on dolphins. I should have used paper.
- I'm writing a book about introverts. It's not coming out any time soon.
- I'm writing a book about getting work as a painter. It's a primer for paint jobs.
- What author could write the best book on extracting mercury from the earth? Hg Wells
- I had a novel idea I think I'll write a book about it
- Im writing a book about WD-40 Its non-friction
- I was gonna write a book on phobias But I was afraid it wasn't going to sell
- I'm writing a book about poets who have been jailed It's called prose and cons
- I'm writing a book about words I don't know I haven't come up with a title yet.
Writing A Book Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about writing a book you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean book and author jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make writing a book pranks.
A Woman Who Reads
One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, drops anchor and begins to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies.
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with s**... assault,"says the woman.
"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.
Moral of this story: Never argue with a woman who reads. It is likely she can also think.
I had a rather novel idea at the store today.
I should write a book.
I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper.
But there was no plot.
I'm currently working on a management oriented book focused on the delegation of tasks
"I'll have my secretary let you know when my intern finishes writing it." - Mr. Manager
Cordially,
Mrs. Team Lead
I heard Optimus Prime is writing a book...
I heard Optimus Prime is writing a book.
It's an Autobotography.
Last night I was dreaming...
So last night I was dreaming that I was writing *The Hobbit* and *The Lord of the Rings* books but my wife complained that I was very loud and disturbed her sleep.
Apparently I was tolkien in my sleep.
A priest and a shepherd...
... from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa.
The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three ladies cheap to rent.
But they were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.
I once tried to write a book about my thoughts
But there's only so much you can put in a s**... note.
Did you hear about the magic pen that God gave Joseph Smith to write the Book of m**...?
Every time Joe wrote something made up, the pen would leave ink on the page.
I was in my English class the other day....
And I didn't understand the book that was in the curriculum.
So I made all my students write a 3 page report about it.
I'm going to write a book about adhesives.
It's going to be a griping tale about bonding, attachments, and a few sticky situations.
I'm writing a book about my time growing up as a shy young boy with irritable bowel syndrome...
... i've decided to call it 'Diarrhoea Of A Wimpy Kid'
A hungry lion roamed through the jungle looking for his next meal when he came upon two men.
One man was sitting under a tree reading a book. The other man was writing in a notebook. The lion quickly pounced in the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that reader's digest and writers cramp.
Stephen Hawking recently released his most recent book. He has spent the last 15 years writing it.
It's about time.
Steps to success:
1. Predict the end of the world.
2. Write a book about it.
3. Prophet?
Reading The Fifth
I'm writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: I heard from this guy who told somebody …
A lady comes to a writer house
- Hey, how's your book writing going?
- Really well, I'm up to page 69.
- Wow, what're you writing?
- Page numbers
That's the problem with writing books about s**... techniques
... you only get negative reviews.
Told my girlfriend that I've started writing a book about a serial killer that murders his lover.
She said, "That sounds exciting. I love thrillers."
I said, "It's not a thriller, it's an autobiography."
My parents read the book I was writing. They said the man character wasn't likeable...
So, yeah, now I have a new hiding place for my diary.
I just got done writing a book!
I think I have authoritis...
My book on Nordic cultures is taking a long time to write
I don't think I'll ever make it to the Finnish.
I'm writing a book on reverse psychology.
When it becomes available, please refrain from purchasing it.
Trump's nothing like h**....
There's no way he could write a book.
Writing books is like prostitution!
First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.
Moliere
Who is Victor?
Why is he allowed to write history books when he's so unreliable?
I want to write a book on Humility
I am sure it will be a best seller
My wife said "Why don't you write a book instead of s**... word play jokes?"
I said, "That's a novel idea."
If someone was writing a book about tsunamis...
If someone was writing a book about tsunamis and they suddenly got a rush of ideas on what to call it, would that be considered a title wave?
My first dad joke
My step daughter told me she wanted to write a book called The Language of Farts. I said knowing her it would be a New York Times best smeller!
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like h**... need a reality check.
After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.
Day 19 of the experiment...
"Day 19 of the experiment, I have successfully conditioned my master to give me food,smile,and write in his book every time I drool." - Pavlov's Dog
A transphobe, a racist, a homophobe and an anti-Semite walk into a bar.
The bartender says Hey, didn't you write those Harry Potter books?
A friend of mine is writing a book on Californian sea lions.
I assured him that paper would be much easier.
It's nice to see that celebrities have taken up book writing during the pandemic
One Direction by Kanye West
Guitars by Mel Gibson
Mining by Brad Pitt
Pear Cider by Katy Perry
Ship Building by Tom Cruise
How to Move Things by Jim Carrey
Escape from Prison by Morgan Freeman
American Motors by Harrison Ford
Wild Animals by Will Ferrell
A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach
A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach for the first time.
The biologist is amazed at the birds, the seaweed, the fish. He goes in the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.
The physicist is mesmerized by the waves. The amplitude. The periodicity. The reflections. He goes in the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.
The chemist is sitting on the beach making notes in his lab book. He writes, "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water"
A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach.
A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach for the first time.
The biologist is amazed at the birds, the seaweed, the fish. He goes into the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.
The physicist is mesmerized by the waves. The amplitude. The periodicity. The reflections. He goes into the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is aslo over his head. He drowns.
The chemist is sitting on the beach making notes in his lab book.
He writes, "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water."
What did Matthew McConaughey say to his publisher about his long awaited upcoming book?
I'll write, I'll write, I'll write!
I was so happy when I finally found a great ghostwriter for a book I'd like to write.
It didn't work out though because the pen kept falling through its fingers.
Did you hear about the author who writes using invisible ink?
Here's a list of his books:
My girlfriend is writing a book on contemporary feminist literature, and she let me read the manuscript
And I got to tell you, it's— it's pretty good for a girl.
I'm writing a book about all the things I really ought to do in my life.
It's my oughtobiography.
What happens when the God Of Thunder starts writing books?
He becomes an author.
Writing a book about a friend that lives with otters by the water
Going to call it "homies otter sea"
I'm writing a book with a huge plot twist
So that you'll think:
"Oh, this is how it's gonna be"
And then it turns out to be completely different
Because I'm not actually writing a book.
Time to kill off some of the characters in the book I'm writing...
This will be one h**... of an autobiography....
I'm writing a book to help surgeons to use Eastern meditation to overcome anxiety in the operating theatre...
I'm going to call it *The Calmer Suture.*
Did you hear about the dog that writes books?
Probably not, he's never been published.
He only does ruff drafts.
I started writing a book about apathy once …
I couldn't be bothered finishing it!
I'm writing a book about all the things i should be doing in my life.
I'm calling it an oughtobiography.
I'm going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life.
I'll call it my oughtabiography.
I'm writing a book about all the things I should've done, but didn't.
It's my oughta-biography.
I've been writing a book on penguins
I realize now it would have been easier on paper
My wife: Instead of thinking about s**... jokes all day, why don't you write a book instead?
Me: That's…..a novel idea.
Trying to find an old "man/woman" joke from 1997 newsgroup
Back in the late 90's, I saw a joke about a man and a woman. They decided they would take turns, writing a book together.
The woman starts out writing this love story, then, the man turns it into a war story and they end up in a huge fight. If anyone has this classic, or a link to it, I would really appreciate if you could share it.
Cheers!
I asked where I could find the Professor of Directions.
His assistant said he was busy writing a book.
I said, "What is the book about?"
He said, "It's a book about the opposite of left."
I said, "That sounds about right."