Writer Jokes
96 writer jokes and hilarious writer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about writer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you a writer looking for a little comic relief? Look no further! Check out this collection of jokes that poke fun at technical writers, content writers, pagal writers, and even readers of literature and poets. Get your writer friends in on the fun, and share a few laughs!
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Funniest Writer Short Jokes
Short writer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The writer humour may include short reader jokes also.
- How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to turn on an electric chair? Ten. But number four will shock you.
- I told my old classmate at our 10-year reunion that I'm a writer. "Oh yeah?" he asks. "Have you sold anything yet?" I said, "Sure. My house, my car, and all my stuff."
- What does the narcissistic cow say? "Meeeeee!"
I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome. - How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
- Did you hear about that time a hitman held a writer at gunpoint and forced him to write for Amy Schumer? The hitman warned him, Don't get any funny ideas!
- My teenage daughter can't decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer... I guess she'll have to flip a coin....
Heads or Tales. - A BuzzFeed writer walks into a bar... 95% of americans were shocked to find out what happened next.
- What did the writer say when he glued himself to his book? That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself? One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.
- I realize the writer of the Iliad and the Odyssey was better than me every time I enter my house I am home, but he was Homer.
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Writer One Liners
Which writer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with writer? I can suggest the ones about editor and creator.
- What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot? 671 Hallmark movies.
- A Buzzfeed writer walks into a bar... You won't BELIEVE what they asked for!
- Why do writers always feel cold? Because they are surrounded by drafts!
- Common synonyms of unemployed. Writer, blogger, and activist.
- What has 12 writers, 20 actors, and 3 plots? The Hallmark Channel
- How does a Buzzfeed writer catch fish? Clickbait.
- Being a writer is enjoyable... But the job of editor is more rewording.
- I got kicked out of our Writers Block support group today It made me really
- Did you hear about the guy who had writers block? He stopped writing and it was
- Which font do sky-writers use? arial
- My friend writes songs about sewing machines. He's a Singer song writer.
- Being a writer keeps me in great physical shape I'm always running out of ideas.
- I electrified the toilet of a clickbait writer No. 1 will shock him.
- What happened to the writer who could only write with consonants He was disemvoweled
- A writer was prosecuted for a short story he wrote They gave him a long sentence.
Writer Director Jokes
Here is a list of funny writer director jokes and even better writer director puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So a cinematographer, writer, and production designer walk into a bar.... and the director takes all the credit.
- Hmm... 🤔 So you "know" horror but you can't even name the writer and director of Sleepaway Camp (1983)? Okay... 🙄😂
- My films ended with the black and white era. The song-writers gone and the music-directors too. Noise rules.
Script Writer Jokes
Here is a list of funny script writer jokes and even better script writer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the favorite movie of the Infinity War script writer? Die Hard
- Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
- My film teacher told me I'll never be a writer Jokes on him. My script got rejected by Netflix yesterday
Content Writer Jokes
Here is a list of funny content writer jokes and even better content writer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a well slept, well fed writer? Content writer
Delightful Fun Writer Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about writer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean written jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make writer pranks.
My Gramps just passed away. This was his favorite joke to tell.
*Sorry for the meta of this, I'm still reeling a little. I post two or three (or ten--sorry for breaking rules) jokes on this sub every day. A lot of them are simply awful, but they're all original, and my Gramps was a huge inspiration for me becoming a comedy "writer." But this is an old joke, and he loved to tell it every time I saw him. He knew quite a few others too, but this was always my favorite.*
A man is out on a golf course, when he hears someone shout "FORE!"
He looks this way and that but doesn't see the ball, until *WHACK!* He shouts and curses and moans, holding both hands over his c**....
"Oh, you poor thing!" a woman cries, running over to assist him. She gets on her knees and starts to rub his groin with her hands. "Is that better?"
He shakes his head, so she pulls his pants down and starts rubbing it in earnest. After a few minutes, she smiles and says, "That seemed to help a lot!"
"Oh, it was wonderful!" he says. "But the ball hit my thumb!"
*
Do you know who is the writer that spends less gas per kilometer?
Umberto Eco
Not the best joke, but i did make it up myself.
Q: Why can you not hook two CD-ROM drives together to create a CD Writer?
A: Because two ROMs don't make a Write.
The Great Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
There was a writer named Wright / And Mary had a little sheep
There was a writer named Wright
He asked his son to write Wright right
He said ' Son, it is not right to write Wright as Rite
Try to to write Wright Aright'.
___________________________
Mary had a little sheep
And with that sheep she went to sleep
That sheep turned out to be a ram
Mary had a little lamb
An aspiring writer once said, I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!
He now writes error messages for the Microsoft Corporation.
Just heard Barrack Obama's main writer has been killed..
Sources reporting that he is currently speechless.
Did you hear about the writer that became a tailor?
He had to make an Ernest living, the Hemingway.
My friend from Prague is a writer.
He likes to use Spellczech.
Did you know lotr could have come out a lot earlier?
Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about
Why do writers hate the bible?
It has terrible characters, noah is the only one with an arc.
Did you hear about the writer who brought peace to the Middle East?
He had a way with Kurds.
What do you call a writer who feels like they've been born in the wrong body
Transcribe
Who was the famous writer, that died in WWII?
I don't know Anne Frankly I don't care.
A headline writer tells a joke. "Why Buddhist god so ornery?"
Because Buddha, pest, Hungary.
What did the e**... writer say when the man offered to be his s**... s**...?
That's a novel idea
What's the best college degree to become a successful fiction writer?
What do you call it when a writer hangs himself off the side of the mountain?
A cliffhanger.
What happens when a Buzzfeed writer becomes an electrician with no experience?
What comes next will shock you
There once was a young man who wanted to become a great writer...
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
I'm a writer
My pen name is Bic
A lady comes to a writer house
- Hey, how's your book writing going?
- Really well, I'm up to page 69.
- Wow, what're you writing?
- Page numbers
Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.
Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer
What do you call an uncredited writer in urban northwest Pennsylvania?
An Erie ghost writer.
Which writer would you expect to find in a thermometer?
HG Wells.
"I am a writer!" - "And already sold something?"
"Yes, my house and my car."
Why does mystery story writer insists upon mixing additional crushed stone while laying the foundation?
So the plot thickens.
Did you hear about the famous writer who turned out to be a fraud?
His life had it's prose and cons.
Why are writers really good at coding?
Because they are really into Pro grammar.
What does the writer suffer from each spring?
A case of allegories
The guy who wrote the song 'In Too Deep' missed out on the 'best writer of a rock song' award.
Most of the judges said he lost, but Sum41.
What are the two possible things that can happen when a ghost writer dies?
He becomes a ghost-ghost writer
Or...
Drake's career ends either of the two.
The Prime Minister's speech writer has resigned.
He's speechless.
Did you know that William Shakespeare died on the same day he was born?
He must have been a fast writer!
What do you call a classical writer with Parkinson's and a drinking problem?
Shakesbeer.
Have you heard about the rappers ghost writer going to jail
He was behind bars
David wanted to be a writer!
There was once this young man who professed his desire to become a great writer. Say hello to David. When asked what he wanted to write, David would say with great enthusiasm, " I want to write stuff that the whole world will read. Stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
A decade later, David did fulfill his dream:
David now writes the error messages for Python interpreter.
What do you call a writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure?
A rebel without a clause
Man was reading his wife's s**... note
Then he thought he could be a wonderful writer
If Trump goes to prison
he'll be very lonely because he pardoned all his friends
-
Jimmy Falon's writer
How many writers for "The Simpsons" does is take to change a lightbulb?
None. They won't admit that it burnt out 15 years ago!
"Two steaks please", I asked the writer. "Rare for me, medium rare for my friend."
He brought us a lovely bit of panda and a nice chunk of giraffe.
What happened to the Professional Writer who had bowel surgery?
He ended up with a semi-colon.
What's the difference between wit and a joke?
A young filmmaker excited to be part of his first film festival is attending a talk between a director and a writer. At the end of the talk he gets up and shouts out, "If I could ask a question, what's the difference between wit and a joke?"
The writer looks at him for a second, picks up his glass of water and pours it on his own head, says
"This, is a joke"
Surprised by the sudden act, the young filmmaker proceeds hesitantly, "And what is wit?"
The writer responds, "Wit is dry".
I wanna be a fiction writer later in life.
So I'm studying journalism.
What brand of camera a fanfiction writer owns?
A Canon Camera
Why isn't blood a good writer??
Because of all the Type-Os.
Not sure if this has been posted before but I thought of it while at my desk and was proud of it cause it made me chuckle lol.
If you're funny but you s**... at delivery, what do you do?
... you become a writer.
Aspirations
A young boy one day decided to make his desire to become a big writer.
"I want to write things that the people will read all around the world, something that the people will react with a very high emotional level such as scream, cry, get mad and make them suffer" He said.
Now he works at Microsoft and he writes error messages.
What do you get if you point a gun at a writer ?
A sentence.
What's the difference between a 19th Century shipwright and a 21st Century fan fic writer?
One tries to fit as many cannons as they can onto a ship. The other tries to fit as many ships as they can into canon.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a fantasy writer
So when I became an adult I joined the UN's security council.
Due to the cost of living crisis, a paramedic has had to take a second job as a Buzzfeed writer.
Their first article was on the 2 best forms of resuscitation.
Number 1 was CPR,
Number 2... WILL SHOCK YOU
A writer friend of mine claims he is 'glued to his memoir'
That's his story and he's sticking to it.
How many resumé writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one:
Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, and zero safety incidents, increasing workplace safety and productivity.