Following is our collection of funny Write jokes. There are some write intellectuals jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these write cursive puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I M LIVID
I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering...do I keep the letters?
George Clooney said, "I'll direct."
Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."
And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."
Melt them down, make a tire and call it a Goodyear.
(Yes, I have been waiting till the end of the year to write this)
Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ" he exclaimed.
Joseph said: "Write that down, Mary. It's better than Wayne."
Everyone immediately began to write furiously, except little Johnny, who kicked back and put his feet on the table. The teacher walked over to him. "Why aren't you writing Johnny?" she asked. Johnny looked up. "I'm waiting for my secretary."
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Or is that just stereotyping.
This one was written in London.
A man went to his lawyer and told him, 'My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?' 'Do you have any proof he owes you the money?' asked the lawyer. 'Nope,' replied the man. 'OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,' said the lawyer. 'But it's only £500,' replied the man. 'Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!'
You can explore write writer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean write thesis dad jokes. There are also write puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.
A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat, says, "well, that's great...some asshole's got my pen."
I mean, they hate Capitalism.
...forward four-word foreword for Word.
One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"
I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW
Time to write the rest of it
but it is nothing to write house about.
Or Do I ?
So I was at the doctor's office and he decided to prescribe a drug for an illness. But when he reached into his pocket to grab a pen so he could write the prescription, he instead pulled out a thermometer. He looked at it, then turned to me and said "Great, some asshole's got my pen."
looks like I'm gonna have to write my name and the date again
No exceptions!
His friends asked the tombstone inscriber to write "Here lies Strange, an honest man and a lawyer" on the headstone. The inscriber suggested this would confuse people, who would think three men were buried there. He suggested "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." "Whenever anyone walks by," he explained "they'll be certain to remark, 'That's Strange.'"
It's pointless
She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car crash, or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete sexual exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the teacher said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"
"Ugh, some asshole's got my pen!"
One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.
Because they hate Capitalism.
Now instead of citing my sources on an English paper, I can just write down, "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it."
The checks I write to the Make-A-Wish foundation.
"Write letters to the people you hate and later on you burn them."
I have done so, but now I don't know what to do with the letters...
Because he hated Capitalism
... That's a grave sign.
(I made up this joke and I nope no-one else has done it before me.)
So here goes:
Walk forwards.
Turn left.
Pasteurization.
I thought and thought about this for ages.
Eventually, I went for 'Thunk'.
My Therapist told me "Write letters to the people who you hate and burn them later".
I did that.... But now what should i do with the letters???
*7 days later* T : why didn't you write your homework this time?
P : my dad is still in the hospital.
T : wow, this must be serious.
*1 month later*
T : Let me guess, you didn't do your homework because your father is still in the hospital.
P : Indeed.
T: well, how come?
P : he's a doctor.
The prize-winning essay read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"
She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.
We're the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
For school, I had to write an essay based on a film, so I decided to do it on "The Room". I think I did well, because I got a hi mark.
...If you give a monkey a camcorder, it will eventually film a dead body and post it to the internet.
He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
Would it kill them to write few sentences?
Tom hanks says "I'll produce it"
Leonardo DiCaprio says "I'll direct it"
Matthew McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"
he didn't explain why he gave it a one star tho
He hates capitalism
So I thought instead I'd write a script about a retired CIA operative who is taken hostage along with his wife in Instanbul, but that idea was taken, too.
that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. Well, I did that and I feel much, much better, but I'm not sure what to do with all these letters.
Pencils posed an issue; 2B or not 2B
He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."
"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.
"But why?" the bartender asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.
I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.
Friend: Wow really?!
Me: Yep. It can write other words, too.
He said it was easy but one question held him up. The mother asked what the question was.
" They asked what the past tense of think was" the boy answered. "So what did you write?" the mother asked.
"I thought and thought and thought until I finally wrote thinked"! The boy replied.
It didn't work out though because the pen kept falling through its fingers.
He didn't tell me what to do with those damn letters though.
But I've never seen an emu write before.
Idk why she's so mad, it's really hard to write on scrambled eggs.
He was shellfish in the seabed
No, my 4 year old son didn't write this. I did.
None. They won't admit that it burnt out 15 years ago!
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
A Persian man's wife died. After the burial he called the newspaper to write the obituary.
Put 'Sarah died' he said
*Sir, you're not paying us by word, it's a flat rate... you can write a whole sentence if you like.*
Put 'Sarah died yesterday'
*Sir, you can add six more words and I'll charge you for a sentence*
Put '86 Mazda for sale, low mileage''
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the write compose jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working write prose piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.