Writ Jokes
133 writ jokes and hilarious writ puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about writ that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Writ Short Jokes
Short writ jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The writ humour may include short rite jokes also.
- What's a pirate's favorite letter? A writ of safe passage from his majesty, king Charles II of England.
- A limerick writ for a Twit An executive reckless and bitter
Made a fool of himself via Twitter
*"Please stop!"* they entreated
But in answer he Tweeted
*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*
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Writ One Liners
Which writ one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with writ? I can suggest the ones about wrote essay and wrote letter.
- I started writting an autobiography but I gave up... Story of my life.
- Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
- What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do? Slit the writ of habeas corpus.
Comical & Quirky Writ Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about writ you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean draft jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make writ pranks.
Can you write a whole paragraph without the letter A?
I wouldn't recommend it.
Honestly, your sentences willl just sound wrong.
Everyone will notice you're doing something
different. Your writing won't flow smoothly. You'll
use weird words.
It's not worth the effort involved in spending
time online looking up tons of synonyms which
don't feel right, just to produce weird, stilted
prose.
You'd be better off giving up, to be honest.
Can some one help me write my girlfriend a love letter?
Is buttcheek one word or are they spread apart?
Written on bathroom wall
Three things I hate:
1. Vandalism
2. Lists
3. Sarcasm
Do you know who is the writer that spends less gas per kilometer?
Umberto Eco
I want to write in my résumé how experienced I am in burning bridges...
...but I don't have anybody to use as a reference.
What is written on Ronald McDonald's gravestone?
McRIP
I like writing my eights on their sides.
It's infinitely better
Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law.
It's my P.S. de resistance.
I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper.
But there was no plot.
I'm writing a book about getting work as a painter.
It's a primer for paint jobs.
There was a writer named Wright / And Mary had a little sheep
There was a writer named Wright
He asked his son to write Wright right
He said ' Son, it is not right to write Wright as Rite
Try to to write Wright Aright'.
___________________________
Mary had a little sheep
And with that sheep she went to sleep
That sheep turned out to be a ram
Mary had a little lamb
I've written a book about reverse psychology
Please don't buy it.
I'm writing a book about Indian food...
It's gonna be a naan-fiction.
I'm writing a story about a Pirate who sells corn...
It's about a buccaneer.
I'm writing this from the hospital
Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
I am getting around to writing my essay on herbs for my botany class...
It's about thyme
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm writing some BSDM-themed LEGO fan-fiction.
I hope to release it later as "50 blocks of pain"
So I want to write a letter to a deer...
I just don't know how to start it off!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm writing a film about a cannibal undead tax exile who plays drums, eats your mother and then is sick.
It's a nondomtomtomnomnommomvomromzomcom
I'm writing a book about Minecraft.
it's not finished yet, but it has some terrific plot development.
I was going to write a joke about Kim kardashian's orifices,
but they've all been done.
If you were to write a direct, very short introduction for Microsoft Office's word processor, it might be a...
...forward four-word foreword for Word.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to write a s**... charged novel with an FBI twist.
*Fifty Raids A Day*
Why do writers always feel cold?
Because they are surrounded by drafts!
I'm writing a book about introverts.
It's not coming out any time soon.
In your will, be sure to write you want to be cremated.
The night before you die, eat as many popcorn kernels as humanly possible.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
These need to be written.
Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: A piiig.
Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards.
I was going to write a book about my knowledge of tea..
But i decided against it since it would only be a Novel Tea.
Why do writers hate the bible?
It has terrible characters, noah is the only one with an arc.
I tried to write a song about a fajita....
But it turned into a wrap.
I'm currently writing a musical about diggers trapped in a mine.
I think it's gonna be in the key of A-flat minor.
Someone's written an album about thermometers...
I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize.
I want to write a mystery novel.
Or Do I ?
I was going to write a joke about the pentagon...
But I gave up when I couldn't find the right angle.
I was going to write a book about Existential Nihilism...
But then I realized that it doesn't even matter.
How do you write an essay that blows people away?
With lots of drafts
i'm writing a book on overcoming foot pain
it's called the agony of defeat
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once tried to write a book about my thoughts
But there's only so much you can put in a s**... note.
I tried write a joke about the Zika virus...
...but couldn't come up with anything off the top of my head.
I'm writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced.
There's a lovely key change at the end.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to write a book called "Variably o**... Man"
So people ask me how's "Variably o**... Man" coming?
I was writing a joke about a stone rolling up a hill, but it lost momentum.
It still has potential.
Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil?
It's pointless
I came here to write jokes and waste your time
But I'm out of jokes, so I'll just waste your time
I write my mistresses' phone numbers on the rear view mirror.
I know my wife would never think to look there.
I had to write an essay on plagiarism today
I couldn't think of anything so I just copied the guy sitting next to me
How do you write a paper with just your pencil?
With a good point
I'm writing a musical about a rag-tag team of Breitbart columnists standing up to the mainstream media elites.
It's called Fake Newsies.
I've tried writing with a blunt pencil.
But it was pointless
I'm writing a southern rock song about chicken eggs...
...it's called "Prebird"
I'm writing a book about WD-40.
It's Non-Friction
What I want written on my tombstone:
"Not appreciating puns was a grave mistake"
I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula. He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting."
So here goes:
Walk forwards.
Turn left.
Pasteurization.
I'm going to write a book about adhesives.
It's going to be a griping tale about bonding, attachments, and a few sticky situations.
I'm writing a book about my time growing up as a shy young boy with irritable bowel syndrome...
... i've decided to call it 'Diarrhoea Of A Wimpy Kid'
When writing a story about losing your virginity,
Its good to always put it in the first person
Who writes the most but keeps it short?
Lawyers. The only people who can write a 10,000 word document and call it brief.
I was going to write something about Madame Tussauds Museum.
But I don't want to wax poetic.
I should write small jokes on a handful of coins
I will call them "cents of humor"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm writing an e**... novel featuring tea and pastries.
I'm calling it "Romancing the scone."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like to write lyrics in my spare time.
This led to me finding out my cousin was dyslexic when I messaged him asking if he would rate a rap and he responded by s**... molesting a rodent.
I'm a writer
My pen name is Bic
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm writing a play about doing c**... off of a rack...
But I'm having a hard time getting past the titular line.
I've written a poem about the sounds made by dogs...
It can only be read if you scan it first.
It's a bark ode.
I'm currently writing a screenplay about two Jedi knights who fall in love, only to discover that their midichlorians are killing them.
I'm calling it The Fault in Our Star Wars.
Write a wise saying and your name will live on.
----Anonymous
I'm writing a TV show about a girl named Abigail who moves to the big city
It's called Downtown Abbie.
They've written a sequel to The Martian where a hundred rescuers attempt to rescue a stranded man on mars, only to fail.
It's title.
101 Dull Martians
I'm writing a movie, its about an hour
FADE IN:
INT. CLOCK FACE - DAY
NARRATOR (V.O.)
One Mississippi, two Mississippi....
I've only written the first two lines so far.
Which writer would you expect to find in a thermometer?
HG Wells.
Writing "no hookups" on Tinder is like
going to PornHub for the ads.
"I am a writer!" - "And already sold something?"
"Yes, my house and my car."
I'm writing a children's book about a female otter that goes to college.
It's called Alma Otter's alma mater.
I want to write a show called "Pun". I'll have the script printed out and taped to the floor of the set.
It'll be a play on words.
Being a writer is enjoyable...
But the job of editor is more rewording.
Being a writer keeps me in great physical shape
I'm always running out of ideas.
I just got done writing a book!
I think I have authoritis...
I've written a script for a film about an action hero who works in accounts.
The sequels going to be set in a different department.
This time it's personnel.
When you're writing a letter to Heaven about how shocked you are that there is a new elk deity
Dear God,
Dear God...
Deer God.
Why are writers really good at coding?
Because they are really into Pro grammar.
What does the writer suffer from each spring?
A case of allegories
