Writ Jokes
133 writ jokes and hilarious writ puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about writ that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Writ Short Jokes
Short writ jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The writ humour may include short wrote jokes also.
- What's a pirate's favorite letter? A writ of safe passage from his majesty, king Charles II of England.
- A limerick writ for a Twit An executive reckless and bitter
Made a fool of himself via Twitter
*"Please stop!"* they entreated
But in answer he Tweeted
*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*
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Writ One Liners
Which writ one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with writ? I can suggest the ones about rite and wrote essay.
- I started writting an autobiography but I gave up... Story of my life.
- Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
- What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do? Slit the writ of habeas corpus.
Comical & Quirky Writ Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about writ you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wrote letter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make writ pranks.
Can you write a whole paragraph without the letter A?
I wouldn't recommend it.
Honestly, your sentences willl just sound wrong.
Everyone will notice you're doing something
different. Your writing won't flow smoothly. You'll
use weird words.
It's not worth the effort involved in spending
time online looking up tons of synonyms which
don't feel right, just to produce weird, stilted
prose.
You'd be better off giving up, to be honest.
Can some one help me write my girlfriend a love letter?
Is buttcheek one word or are they spread apart?
Written on bathroom wall
Three things I hate:
1. Vandalism
2. Lists
3. Sarcasm
I want to write in my résumé how experienced I am in burning bridges...
...but I don't have anybody to use as a reference.
I like writing my eights on their sides.
It's infinitely better
Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law.
It's my P.S. de resistance.
I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper.
But there was no plot.
I'm writing a book about getting work as a painter.
It's a primer for paint jobs.
What did the writer say when he glued himself to his book?
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
There was a writer named Wright / And Mary had a little sheep
There was a writer named Wright
He asked his son to write Wright right
He said ' Son, it is not right to write Wright as Rite
Try to to write Wright Aright'.
___________________________
Mary had a little sheep
And with that sheep she went to sleep
That sheep turned out to be a ram
Mary had a little lamb
I've written a book about reverse psychology
Please don't buy it.
I'm writing a book about poets who have been jailed
It's called prose and cons
I'm writing a book about Indian food...
It's gonna be a naan-fiction.
I'm writing this from the hospital
Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
I am getting around to writing my essay on herbs for my botany class...
It's about thyme
I'm writing a film about a cannibal undead tax exile who plays drums, eats your mother and then is sick.
It's a nondomtomtomnomnommomvomromzomcom
I was going to write a joke about Kim kardashian's orifices,
but they've all been done.
If you were to write a direct, very short introduction for Microsoft Office's word processor, it might be a...
...forward four-word foreword for Word.
Why do writers always feel cold?
Because they are surrounded by drafts!
I'm writing a book about introverts.
It's not coming out any time soon.
In your will, be sure to write you want to be cremated.
The night before you die, eat as many popcorn kernels as humanly possible.
Why do writers hate the bible?
It has terrible characters, noah is the only one with an arc.
Someone's written an album about thermometers...
I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize.
I want to write a mystery novel.
Or Do I ?
I was going to write a joke about the pentagon...
But I gave up when I couldn't find the right angle.
I was going to write a book about Existential Nihilism...
But then I realized that it doesn't even matter.
I'm writing a book called 'Stop Overreacting.'
If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.
i'm writing a book on overcoming foot pain
it's called the agony of defeat
When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins.
Because you might not be able to differentiate between them.
I once tried to write a book about my thoughts
But there's only so much you can put in a s**... note.
I tried write a joke about the Zika virus... [OC]
...but couldn't come up with anything off the top of my head.
I'm writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced.
There's a lovely key change at the end.
I was writing a joke about a stone rolling up a hill, but it lost momentum.
It still has potential.
Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil?
It's pointless
I came here to write jokes and waste your time
But I'm out of jokes, so I'll just waste your time
I write my mistresses' phone numbers on the rear view mirror.
I know my wife would never think to look there.
I had to write an essay on plagiarism today
I couldn't think of anything so I just copied the guy sitting next to me
How do you write a paper with just your pencil?
With a good point
I've just written a song about replacing my front door lock
It's got a great key change at the end
I'm writing a musical about a rag-tag team of Breitbart columnists standing up to the mainstream media elites.
It's called Fake Newsies.
I've tried writing with a blunt pencil.
But it was pointless
How to write a paper at Moscow University:
1) Putin it off
2) Stalin it
3) And then Russian to finish it.
I'm writing a southern rock song about chicken eggs...
...it's called "Prebird"
I'm writing a book about WD-40.
It's Non-Friction
What I want written on my tombstone:
"Not appreciating puns was a grave mistake"
I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula. He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting."
So here goes:
Walk forwards.
Turn left.
Pasteurization.
I'm going to write a book about adhesives.
It's going to be a griping tale about bonding, attachments, and a few sticky situations.
I'm writing a book about my time growing up as a shy young boy with irritable bowel syndrome...
... i've decided to call it 'Diarrhoea Of A Wimpy Kid'
When writing a story about losing your virginity,
Its good to always put it in the first person
Who writes the most but keeps it short?
Lawyers. The only people who can write a 10,000 word document and call it brief.
I was going to write something about Madame Tussauds Museum.
But I don't want to wax poetic.
I should write small jokes on a handful of coins
I will call them "cents of humor"
I like to write lyrics in my spare time.
This led to me finding out my cousin was dyslexic when I messaged him asking if he would rate a rap and he responded by s**... molesting a rodent.
I've just written a song about tortillas
Actually, it's more of a rap.
I've written a poem about the sounds made by dogs...
It can only be read if you scan it first.
It's a bark ode.
I'm currently writing a screenplay about two Jedi knights who fall in love, only to discover that their midichlorians are killing them.
I'm calling it The Fault in Our Star Wars.
Write a wise saying and your name will live on.
----Anonymous
Im writing a book about WD-40
Its non-friction
Writing "no hookups" on Tinder is like
going to PornHub for the ads.
Why is 'dark' not written 'darc'?
Because you can't see in the dark
How do you write 4 in between 5
f**IV**e
I'm writing a script for a show called "Pun".
Pretty much, it's going to be a big Play on words.
I want to write a show called "Pun". I'll have the script printed out and taped to the floor of the set.
It'll be a play on words.
Being a writer is enjoyable...
But the job of editor is more rewording.
Being a writer keeps me in great physical shape
I'm always running out of ideas.
I just got done writing a book!
I think I have authoritis...
There was a writing competition for a story that had: religion, s**... and mystery.
The winner was "Oh god I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it".
I've written a script for a film about an action hero who works in accounts.
The sequels going to be set in a different department.
This time it's personnel.
I'm writing a book on reverse psychology.
When it becomes available, please refrain from purchasing it.
When you're writing a letter to Heaven about how shocked you are that there is a new elk deity
Dear God,
Dear God...
Deer God.
I can't write 51, 6, or 50 in Roman Numerals.
I'M LIVID!
Why are writers really good at coding?
Because they are really into Pro grammar.
What does the writer suffer from each spring?
A case of allegories
Where do you write down stuff you never wanna do?
NopePad.
Im writing my autobiography
"Oh nice!"
"Yea im planning on killing off the main character"
Writing books is like prostitution!
First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.
Moliere
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless
(I'll show myself out)
I keep trying to write a joke about the Kraft scandal...
...but they all end up too cheesy.
I have written a book on Penguins
In hindsight, paper would have been better.
What's written on the tomb of a robot?
Rust in peace!
Writing the script for the Tetris movie must be hard,
Every time they write a line, it disappears.
