Wrist Jokes
90 wrist jokes and hilarious wrist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wrist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're looking for a good laugh, check out our collection of wrist jokes. These funny jokes are sure to make you chuckle.
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Funniest Wrist Short Jokes
Short wrist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wrist humour may include short carpal jokes also.
- Turned on women's volleyball and within four minutes there was a wrist injury Don't worry I'll be fine
- A guy walked into a prosthetic limbs store. He picked up a false shoulder, arm and wrist.
The store attendant asked "Would you like a hand with that?" - I rolled my first joint last night! Today I have an ankle the size of a football. :(
- I've been watching women's beach volleyball, and just ten minutes into the game there's already a wrist injury. Gonna have to use my other hand.
- I was watching women's volleyball during the Olympics and there was already a wrist injury But don't worry, I should be fine by Monday.
- What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity? Making their wrist look like their jeans.
(I'm sorry) - My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel. I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
- The sadomasochist was arrested and put in front of a judge he got off with a slap on the wrist
- Call me a luddite, but I feel the need to be vigilant about having too many connected devices. Google accessing biometrics via wrist wear? Not on my watch.
- When I'm bored I love seeing how many different watches I can strap onto my wrists. I have too much time on my hands.
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Wrist One Liners
Which wrist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wrist? I can suggest the ones about elbow and forearm.
- Got a tattoo of a digital watch on my wrist. I regretted it literally one minute later.
- What do you call an accordionist with a broken wrist? A beginner.
- Emo girls be like- how much am I worth... Girl scan the code on your wrist
- I asked a police man if I could pee on his wrist. He said Not on my watch
- Why did the foot call the police? Because the hand was under a wrist.
- My friend Craig gave me his watch... I tell people I got it off Craig's wrist.
- What's an Emos favorite sub? /wrists
- What'd the suicidal cop say to the knife? You're under a wrist.
- You know why I Hate Carpools? Everytime I go through a tunnel my wrist hurts.
- I can't unhook my antistatic wrist-strap anymore It's leaving me totally grounded.
- Why did the fisherman's wrists hurt? He had Carp-L tunnel syndrome. :'(
- My girlfriend asked what I was up to. I said: "About my wrist."
- What did the guy with no wrists say? Not on MY watch!
- What does a obese person keep on their wrist? A Weight Watch.
- what do you call to person who have contusion on her wrist...... computer addict :p
Wrist Watch Jokes
Here is a list of funny wrist watch jokes and even better wrist watch puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- They make wrist watches, and pocket watches. I finally figured out why they don't make belt buckle watches: It's a waist of time.
- I was enjoying myself at a party when I noticed a few flies wearing wrist watches Time flies when you're having fun
- I want to open a clock shop... The commercials will say:
"I sell some of the finest wrist timepieces around. Don't believe me? Just watch." - I used to be a police officer... A guy came up to me when I was patrolling a street and asked if he could urinate between my wrist and elbow.
I said "Not on my watch." - I heard that they are finally making a movie about why someone made the first wrist watch... ...It's about time!
- "Its a little bit funny, This feeling inside!." Sorry Elton, i forgot to take my wrist watch off.
- Why did the scientist drop a wrist watch into his flask? He was looking for a timely solution.
- I got tired of wearing my watch on my wrist.. So I tried attaching it to my belt instead.. man, that was a real waist of time.
- I sat next to a man on the park bench. He had 9 watches on one wrist and 5 in the other. I said man "you sure do have a lot of time on your hands."
- What do you say when someone sits on your wrist? Not on my watch!!
Hilarious Wrist Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about wrist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean palm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wrist pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been dating a muslim girl. She gave me a h**... yesterday but it was a bit rough so I've nicknamed her...
...the t**... wrist.
Come To Me
Two women walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle. One woman sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it. "That's nice, isn't it?" She said waving her
arm under her friend's nose. "Yeah, what's it called?" "Viens a moi." "Viens a moi? What's that mean?" A clerk offered some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'" The woman took another sniff. "That doesn't smell like come to me," she said, offering her arm to her friend again. "Does that smell like come to you?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"The watch"
My dad just reminded me of this old classic!
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says. "Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolitan areas. He hits a few b**... and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more b**... and the same voice said something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding. The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all," says Jake. He pushes a few more b**... and a tiny but very hi-resolution, map of New York City appears on the display. "The flashing dot shows our location by satellite positioning," explains Jake. "View recede ten," Jake says, and the display changes to show eastern New York state. "I want to buy this watch!" says the stranger. "Oh, no, it's not ready for sale yet; I'm still working out the bugs, says the inventor. "But look at this," and he proceeds to demonstrate that the watch is also a very creditable little FM radio receiver with a digital tuner, a sonar device that can measure distances up to 125 meters, a pager with thermal paper printout and, most impressive of all, the capacity for voice recordings of up to 300 standard-size books," though I only have 32 of my favorites in there so far" says Jake. "I've got to have this watch!" says the stranger. "No, you don't understand; it's not ready." "I'll give you $1000 for it!" "Oh, no, I've already spent more than -" "I'll give you $5000 for it!" "But it's just not -" "I'll give you $15,000 for it!" And the stranger pulls out a checkbook. Jake stops to think. He's only put about $8500 into materials and development, and with $15,000 he can make another one and have it ready for merchandising in only six months. The stranger frantically finishes writing the check and waves it in front of him. "Here it is, ready to hand to you right here and now. $15,000. Take it or leave it." Jake abruptly makes his decision. "OK," he says, and peels off the watch. They make the exchange and the stranger starts happily away. "Hey, wait a minute," calls Jake after the stranger, who turns around warily. Jake points to the two suitcases he'd been trying to wrestle through the bus station. "Don't forget your batteries.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... s**...
Cletus, a seven-year-old h**..., comes up to his dad one day and says, "Daddy, what's s**...?'
The dad says, "Why Cletus! You're all of seven years old, and you don't know what s**... is?"
Cletus drops his eyes and says, "No, I shorely don't."
The dad says, "C'mere, young'n." Takes him by the wrist and into their shack, where the mom is passed out on the couch from drinking corn liquor all morning.
The dad lifts up her threadbare calico dress, points, and says, "See that hole twixt yer mammy's legs?"
"Yes."
"Well, watch this." He drops his pants, gets on, and starts boning the mom.
Cletus is watching, wide-eyed, and his sister, five-year-old Lu Ella, comes in, gasps, and says, "Cletus! What're they doin'?"
"Having s**...."
"What's s**...?"
"Why Lu Ella! You're all of five years old, and you don't know what s**... is?"
Lu Ella drops her eyes and says, "No, I shorely don't."
Cletus says, "See that hole twixt Daddy's legs? Watch this!"
King George IV broke his wrist
"a wrist a crack"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Drat!", he exclaimed, as the blood flow from his wrist slowed to a trickle foiling his attempt at s**...,
"I have cut myself in vein!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the first time offender who was in to b**...?
He got off with nothing but a slap on the wrist.
What has two hands and a face but does not speak?
The watch on the wrist of a dead mime.
How do you get a Jewish girls number?
You look at her wrist
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A husband tells his wife about the car c**... he got into...
Husband: Hey, I got in a car c**... today. I got hurt real bad, I broke my arm and fractured my wrist. I also sprained my ankle and the car nearly exploded! Luckily Lucy pulled me out of the car just before it exploded. I spent a couple days in hospital but I'm fine now.
Wife: Who's Lucy?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL of a man who m**... in public for 16 hours straight before police arrived.
He was wrist strained.
A husband asks his wife...
Husband: Darling, if I lost my vision would you be my eyes?
Wife: Honey, of course I would.
Husband: If I lost my hearing would you be my ears?
Wife: Absolutely sweetheart.
Husband: If I lost my legs would you push me around in a wheelchair?
Wife: You don't need to ask. Why all the questions?
Husband: I just sprained my wrist...
Why don't cats wear wrist watches?
Because for cats...the time is always meow.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got caught in a weird routine of m**......
When I discovered my f**... for wrist pain.
A man was walking in a park..
when suddenly he noticed his watch wasn't on his wrist. While looking for it, he saw a man stepping on what seemed to be his watch, while simultaneously making fun of a fat kid. So he punched the man square in the face. "No one makes fun of fat kids" he said, "not on my watch".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?
Do I point at my c**... when I ask where the toilet is?
A young boy's life changed when he found out he could shoot a white sticky substance
Only this young boy could also do it from his wrist. Hello spiderman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**...
An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest m**....
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called m**...," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
guitarists are pretty good as bisexual lovers
on the one hand, their f**... must be pretty good; on the other, their wrist action must be pretty good too.
I drew a scary face on my wrist and government agents arrested me....
They're accusing me of being a Terrorwrist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Italian mobster gives his son a Beretta for his 18th birthday. "Carry it everywhere" he says as he hands it to him.
The next day, the son comes home without the gun, but is sporting a brand new Rolex on his wrist. The father asks him:
"Sona, where is the guna I gave you"
"I traded it ina for a Rolexa" says his son.
"YOU STUPIDA FOOLA!!" yells his dad "One day you will hopefully hava wifa. Imagine coming homa and seeing her n**... in your beda with your best frienda. What are you gonna say, it's a quarter to sixa????"
My girlfriend dumped me last week right after I broke my wrist.
Just when I needed her the most.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think my mother might have robot hands.
I was talking to my neighbour and he said, "Man, your mum's amazing. She can bust a nut with a flick of her wrist."
I went to a prosthetist after a crocodile bit me off at the wrist.
Unfortunately he was too busy to give me a hand.
An owner of a peanut package factory walks in to find a dead body and calls the cops.
The owner nervously watches as the cops arrive, they walk in, stand around the body and whisper quietly. One of the cops points out a small bracelet on the man's wrist and the other cop nods in agreement. The cops begin to leave when the owner speaks up.
What's happening?
It's nothing, just an allergy. This happens all the time, the first cop says.
But someone died, the owner replies.
The second cop retorts Yeah, it's just another nut case.
It was my turn to drive in the car pool to work today.
After I picked up Steve we had to drive through a tunnel. There was a semi truck coming down the wrong lane and I had to swerve to moss him. When I got to work my wrist was hurting really bad. It must have been from that car pool tunnel.
An American, a Frenchman and a Romanian were flying together
– Now we're in America, said the American proudly. Look, the Statue of Liberty!
After several hours, the Frenchman says:
– Now we're in France! Look, the Eiffel Tower!
After some more couple of hours, the romanian says:
– We are in Romania.
– How did you realize that? It's dark outside.
– My wrist watch has disappeared
Going to a psychic for a palm reading
>gives psychic hand
>psychic sees wrist
>"These lines are telling me you're depressed"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of wrist would be worst off against an angry UFC fighter fighting out of Afghanistan?
A t**....
I needed an X-Ray on my wrist, and I couldn't go to the hospital.
So I went to the Airport.
Two sailors are on deck looking out to sea.
In the distance, a huge hand rises from the water.
It keeps rising as the wrist and forearm become visible, the fingers stretching into the air. It wobbles back and forward then falls, crashing into the sea.
One sailor turns to the other and asks, 'Did you see the size of that wave?
Going to hospital
As I was admitted the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist, saying, "I'm going to give you a bracelet."
"Has it got rubies and diamonds?" I ask coyly.
"No," he said. "But it cost just as much."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I Accidentally j**... off while wearing my fitness band...
Later found out you are supposed to wear fitness band on your wrist..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My b**... community took me to court for not being h**... enough. I got off with just a slap on the wrist.
So I lost the case.
I rocked up to a party the other night and was having a great time.
I got a bit tipsy and looked down at my wrist, my watch was missing. So off I go out the front to see if I dropped it. I get out there and I see this drunk guy screaming at his gf, I look down and he's crushing my watch under his foot. I ran straight over and punched him out cold. You don't mistreat your gf, not on my watch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New Year, Old Me
Got a fitness tracker for Christmas and it's been on my wrist ever since. I haven't done any running yet, but I've m**... 5 miles.
