Wrinkles Jokes
38 wrinkles jokes and hilarious wrinkles puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wrinkles that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a good laugh? Check out our collection of wrinkles jokes. From classic one-liners to punny riddles, we've got the jokes to put a smile on your face.
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Funniest Wrinkles Short Jokes
Short wrinkles jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wrinkles humour may include short wrinkled jokes also.
- I bought a pug for my wife. Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.
- It's interesting how different a US president looks at the end of their presidency. Obama had gray hair. Bush had a bunch of wrinkles.. At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.
- I bought my wife a pug recently Despite the flat nose, ugly wrinkles and bulging eyes, the pug likes my wife
- I went into the library and asked for a book on turtles. the lady said, "hardback?"
I replied, "yes, with little wrinkled heads" - Why do accordion players always carry a spare instrument? Just in case they get a wrinkle in their plans.
- I pointed out that my wife was pressing a no-wrinkle shirt, but she didn't appreciate the irony.
- This morning, I said to my wife: "you look like a million bucks!" "All green and wrinkled!"
I'm sleeping in my car tonight. - The cover on my ironing board was wrinkled so I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of "irony."
- My wife always thinks really hard about ironing vs. putting her shirts in the dryer to get rid of wrinkles. I asked her to not be so clothes-minded.
- Wrinkle Cream Son: "Dad...what's Mum putting on her face?"
Dad: "That's her Wrinkle Cream son."
Son: "Mum that cream is really working...you've got loads of wrinkles!"
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Wrinkles One Liners
Which wrinkles one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wrinkles? I can suggest the ones about wrinkled skin and pimples.
- Why does everyone in the MCU wear wrinkled shirts? Because they lost their Iron, Man.
- How do Muslim women get wrinkles off their faces? Fabric softener.
- Why was Spider-man's suit wrinkled? Because he lost his iron, man.
- What supplement is good for wrinkles? Iron.
- I saw an ironing board with wrinkles in it I thought that was pretty ironic.
- What do clothing wrinkles and mistakes have in common?
- Why do elephants have such wrinkled skin? Because they're difficult to iron.
- How does Tony Stark keep his clothes wrinkle-free? Iron, man.
- Life is like a nice, hot, bath. The longer you're in it, the more wrinkles you'll get.
- Forehead wrinkles. They're making headlines.
- Why is an elephant wrinkled It won't fit on an ironing board.
- Why are the golfer's pants never wrinkled? Because he has 9 irons
- How do middle easterners get rid of wrinkles Iraning
- What is old, wrinkled, and smells like Ginger? Fred Astaire's face.
- What's a Botox Doctor's worst fear? A Wrinkle In Time
Forehead Wrinkles Jokes
Here is a list of funny forehead wrinkles jokes and even better forehead wrinkles puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Sources report that after holding office for just two years, President Trump has already developed significant forehead wrinkles. Talk about making national headlines!
Hilarious Wrinkles Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about wrinkles you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stretch marks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wrinkles pranks.
Looking Good
My face in the mirror isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn.
I think I might never put my glasses back on.
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have
happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
Dog walks into a telegraph office...
Says he wants to send a message.
"Sure" says the clerk, "what's the message?"
"Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof."
Clerk says, "OK, but for the same price, there's enough room for one more 'woof'".
Dog wrinkles his brow and replies, "But that wouldn't make any sense.."
A woman is standing n**... in front of her bedroom mirror.
"I'm old, saggy and wrinkled," she sighed. Then she turned to her husband who was sitting in bed, reading. "I could really do with you saying something nice, you know."
He looked up. "Your eyesight's perfect."
Good eyes
A woman standing in front of a mirror and telling her husbband: "I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. But will you still give me a compliment?
The husband replies: "Your eyesight is still excellent".
A little girl was sitting on her granddad's lap while he read her a story. She kept taking her eyes of the book and reaching up and touching his old, wrinkled face.
After a few times doing this, she finally asked, "Grandpa, were you made by God?"
"Yes, dear." he replied. "I was made by God a long time ago."
The little girl paused for a moment and then asked, "And did God make me?"
"Of course, dear." replied her grandfather. "God made you not long ago."
The girl felt her own face and then her granddad's again, thought for a moment and then said, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
The Old Cowboy's Shave
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.
The barber replied, Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does .
George Bush swears he sees Moses in the crowd at a rally....
.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.
He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one more time he asks, "Sir, I don't see the need to lie to me; are you Moses?" Once again, a back and forth shaking of his head. Bush tells his security detail to interrogate him.
His lead security agent asks the man in complete confidence, "The beard, the cloak, the staff, the wrinkled skin... you look exactly like Moses." Moses replies, "Because I am."
Confused, the security agent asks, "Why didn't you just tell the president that then? What harm could it have caused?" As a matter of factly, Moses replies, "The last time I talked to a Bush, I was stranded in a desert for 40 years."
The wife looks at herself in the mirror and complain to her husband: I am so ugly and wrinkle and fat. Do I even have any good traits?
The husband put down his newspaper and slowly answer: Your eyesight is excellent darling
Clean Shave
An old drover walks into a barber shop in Black Stump Crossing, NT, Aussie, for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old drover to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old drover tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in yonks, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball.
The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does."
An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut
He asks the barber, "do you think you can get all my whiskers off? My cheeks are so wrinkled from age".
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball.
The barber replied, "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does".
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs.
It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs.
He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:
No, you can't have those! They're for the f**...!
A 70 year old man buys his wife a present
For their 50th wedding anniversary a 70 year old man buys his wife a see through night gown
The next day he goes back to the store and returns it
Cashier: I'm sorry you were unsatisfied with our product. May I ask what was wrong with it?
70 Year Old Man: It was all wrinkled
A little girl asks her grandpa..
A little girl got on her grandpa's lap and said, "Did God make me?"
"Yes," the grandpa replied.
"Did God make you too?"
"Yes," the grandpa said.
"Well," the little girl said, looking at his wrinkles and thinning hair. "He sure is doing a better job nowadays!"
