Wrench Jokes
36 wrench jokes and hilarious wrench puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wrench that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud at these hilarious jokes about wrenches! Learn puns about torque wrenches, 10 mm wrenches, unscrewing sewage lids, and even the mighty hacksaw. No matter what type of wrench you have, you'll find a joke to make you chuckle.
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Funniest Wrench Short Jokes
Short wrench jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wrench humour may include short groan jokes also.
- What did the wrench from New York say to the guy who kept interrupting him? Hey, I'm torque'in over here!
- Did you hear about the surgeon who accidentally swapped his tools with the hospital handyman's? His last surgery was gut wrenching.
- I recently had a tapeworm removed from my intestines... It was a gut-wrenching experience.
- I rearranged all the wrenches in my Dad's toolbox. Nobody expects the spanners switch position!
- A hammer is introduced to the members of a new toolbox, The Hammer sees his old friend and the Wrench giving the tour says:
You know the drill but do you know the screwdriver? - a sad short wrench walks into a bar and asks for a beer
the bartender asks why is he so sad.
and the wrench replies "can you leave me alone, i don't want to torque" - I was packing up for vacation When my wife yelled from down stairs "YOU BETTER NOT BE TAKING EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK". I yelled back "thanks for reminding me i will go get the wrench"
- I recently watched a plumber performing a gastric bypass surgery using his own tools. I could hardly make it through the whole thing, it was gut wrenching.
- My local hardware store was closed, so I travelled 2 hours for a wrench Now I'm reaching new Lowe's.
- Bush Senior broke his neck He was trying to show Jeb Bush how to dodge wrenches, hey Jeb if George can dog a shoe then I can dog wrench!
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Wrench One Liners
Which wrench one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wrench? I can suggest the ones about wreck and screwdriver.
- This is Hammer, this is Screwdriver, this is The Wrench... You know The Drill.
- Where do Mechanical Bulls come from? They're raised on a wrench.
- A mechanic falls onto his tools... It was a gut-wrenching experience.
- How do you fix a broken gorilla? With a monkey wrench.
- What is the bolt's favorite sauce? Wrench dressing
- When I realised I'd lost my favourite spanner... It was a real wrench
- What did the allen wrench say to the IKEA furniture? Screw you!
- What kind of dressing did the mechanic use on his salad? Wrench dressing.
- What language do British wrenches speech? Spanish!
- How do lesbian couples open jars with no man in the house? They use a strap wrench
- What's a wrenches favorite video game? Tightenfall.
- Did you hear about the gay wrench? He really likes to socket.
- What do you call a black person who can loosen things by hand? A monkey wrench.
- My boss is just like a wrench. They're both tools good at twisting nuts.
- Why couldn't the Mexican work a wrench? I don't know. Torqué?
Laughable Wrench Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about wrench you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean twist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wrench pranks.
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "Typical blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Dude 1 and his two friends are talking at a bar - talking about their wives..
Dude 1 says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
Dude 2, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed, and it wasn't mine."
Dude 3, says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar.
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Dave says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
I think it's weird that county fairs are being cancelled.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's a *good* idea, but... I just figured that anyone who isn't afraid to hop onto a 60-year-old rusty roller coaster, that gets disassembled and reassembled 22 times a year by a traveling m**... head with an allen wrench, while eating a deep fried stick of butter, wouldn't give a c**... about Covid.
I once had s**... without having to pay for it.
That's when the p**... broke my hands with a wrench.
I said to my wife, "hunny, you're like a wrench... She said, why?"
I said, "because every time I see you my nuts get tight."
