Wreck Jokes
87 wreck jokes and hilarious wreck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wreck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're in the mood for some lightheartedness to relieve your stress, then check out this hilarious collection of "wreck" jokes! From car wreck puns to gags about bike crashes and train derailments, this article has it all. You won't want to miss the jokes referencing Wreck-It Ralph and even a few about paramedics and wreckers. So, come laugh it up with these jokes about all sorts of "wrecks"!
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Funniest Wreck Short Jokes
Short wreck jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wreck humour may include short ruin jokes also.
- What do you call a wolf that is woke? Awarewolf
(credit goes to my GF, who's apparently practicing her dad humor. *sigh* please, don't wreck my karma) - An old one. What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes? A nervous wreck!
I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile. - You hear what happened when the triangle tried to make all its angles 90 degree? Didn't end well, I hear it's a wrecked angle now.
- Saw some kids building sandcastles on the beach so I ran and jumped on one of them. Then I wrecked his sandcastle.
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
(I'll see myself out.) - Guy gets into a car wreck with a midget driver Midget steps out of his car, walks over to the other guy with a scowl and states, "I'm not happy."
Guy responds. "So which one are you?" - What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a saturn Ion? An Accordion.
...I'll, uh, see myself out. - What do you get when two different pairs of similar angles get in a car accident? a wrecked angle
(This took me one 20 minute shower to think out) - My wife told me that I should be more in touch with my feminine side… …so I went out and wrecked the car…then I got mad at her for the way she looked at me, 4 years ago.
- What do you get when you cross miley cyrus with an alligator? A caiman like a wrecking ball.
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Wreck One Liners
Which wreck one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wreck? I can suggest the ones about rubble and crash.
- Ohio is stealing my life story A series of train wrecks in an already depressed area
- What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck.
- What happened to the Frog when he wrecked his car? He got TOAD!
- Do you know what two words can wreck a man's life? I do.
- What is at the bottom of the Bermuda triangle? A wreck tangle
- What lies at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.
- What lies on the bottom of the ocean and sweats? A nervous wreck...
- What happens when you let dinosaurs drive? You get tyrannosaurus wrecks.
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and quivers? A nervous wreck!!
- What's black, and breaks into houses? A wrecking ball
- Why don't dinosaurs drive? Because the Tyrannosaurus wrecks
- What do you call it when two Nissan Cubes get into an accident? A wreck-tangle.
- Which dinosaur is the worst driver? T-Wrecks
- What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
- Got in a car wreck while reading a church sign today... ...the Son was in my eyes.
Wreck It Ralph Jokes
Here is a list of funny wreck it ralph jokes and even better wreck it ralph puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- yo mama`s so ugly, when Wreck-It-Ralph saw her face he said ` it`s already broken`
- Wreck-it-Ralph is called Pack-it-Stan in India.
- Yo mamas so ugly Wreck-it-Ralph said "No one can wreck that thing any worse"
- Disney are changing the title for Wreck It Ralph 2...
- Yo mamas so ugly Wreck-it-Ralph said "No one can wreck that thing any worse"
- What's Wreck-It Ralph's favorite meal of the day? WRECKfast
Train Wreck Jokes
Here is a list of funny train wreck jokes and even better train wreck puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a situation where a train wreck is happening right in front of your eyes and you can't do anything about it? Donald Trump
- What do you get when you cross a celebration and a train wreck? Someone crashed the party.
- The Republican Party What a train wreck.
Car Wreck Jokes
Here is a list of funny car wreck jokes and even better car wreck puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a dream that I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars. It was an auto body experience.
- I got in a car wreck last week. A dwarf got out the other car and said, "I'm not happy."
To which I replied, "Well, which one are you then?" - My car just got rear ended by a dwarf. His car is wrecked, my car is fine. He says, "Well, I'm not happy" So I said "Well which one are you?"
- My wife asked me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So I wrecked the car.
- There was a 4 car wreck in Mexico this morning. 93 people died.
- A man is in a car wreck and is rushed to the ER. When he wakes up he tells the doctor: "I can't feel my legs!!!"
The doctor replies: "I know, I cut your arms off." - Why did the guy who never crashed his car get pulled over? Wreck-less driving
- What happens when an angle gets itself into a car wreck? The angle becomes a rectangle
- What do you call a dinosaur that gets in a car accident? A tyrannosaurus wreck.
- What do an angry parent and a car wreck have on common? They can both be a rear-ender.
Comical Wreck Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about wreck you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean junk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wreck pranks.
A Pregnant women gets in a car wreck....
...and fell into a coma. When she awoke a few days later, she noticed that she wasn't carrying a child, and asked the doctor, "Doctor, what happened to my baby!?"
The doctor replies, "It's all okay. You gave birth to beautiful twins, a boy and a girl. But we needed someone to name them, so your brother came in and gave them their names."
The woman is surprised. "No, not my brother! He's not the smartest guy in the world."
"Well ma'am, he named your daughter Denise," the doctor said.
"Oh, that's not too bad. What's the boy's name?"
"Denephew."
Two trucks carrying thesauruses got in a wreck...
Onlookers were aghast, amazed, appalled, astonished, astounded, dismayed, offended, shocked, stunned, upset...
I have a German friend named Yosef.
I have a German friend named Yosef. He's a fragile guy, and if you play with him you have to constantly check to make sure he's ok.
You have to check Yosef before you wreck Yosef.
Two men get into a car wreck...
Both men are all right and meet to exchange information. The older man offers the younger man a drink to calm his nerves while they wait for the insurance investigator to arrive.
"Thanks for that drink, sir," the younger man says, emptying the little bit left in the bottle. "That was pretty scary."
"Don't thank me," the older man replies, casually tossing the empty bottle into the woods. "I'm a lawyer."
Did you hear that Robert Plant got in a car wreck?
Now he's Robert Vegetable.
What is quivering at the bottom of the ocean?
A nervous wreck.
Why don't Germans play games with new players?
Because they don't want to wreck Danubes.
Before you wreckyourselfvakia
Czechoslovakia
Did you hear about the ship wreck survivor that rode a dolphin to safety?
He said he did it on porpoise.
What do you get when a short bus gets in a wreck?
Mashed potatoes.
I saw a really n**... wreck on the way to work this morning...
...wish I had had time to pick her up.
A pregnant woman got in a car wreck and went into a coma.
While in the coma, she gave birth to twins.
4 months later she woke up asking where her kids were.
The nurse informed her she had given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and her brother has been taking care of them.
The woman said "Oh no, not my idiot brother. What did he name my daughter?"
"Denise" the nurse said.
"Oh, that's not bad. What about the boy"
The nurse replied "Da-nephew"
Big girls are like mopeds
I'll get drunk and wreck them too.
An old biker....
was riding down the highway and got into a wreck. His ol' lady was on the back and got thrown. He asked her if she was alright, and she says "I have an 8 inch gash"...He says "I know that but, are you hurt"?
What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky after getting caught?
"I told you to lick my e**..., not wreck my election".
DIY advice from Sean Connery
Check your shelf before you wreck your shelf
What Do You Call a Twitchy Boat at the Bottom of the Sea?
A nervous wreck.
A cop shows up to a gory car wreck (long)
A cop shows up to a gory car wreck and immediately sees several body parts lying around. He takes out his pen and pad to make some notes for his report.
"Left arm - found in ditch"
"Left leg - found in ditch"
~~"Head - found in bulavard~~
~~"Head - found in boulavard~~
*kick*
"Head - found in ditch"
So my friend told me he needed some help to recognize speech...
I was furious and said, "Are you insane? Why would you wreck it? Don't you like beaches?"
What do you call a public trash compactor?
A wreck center.
What quivers at the bottom of the sea?
A nervous wreck.
A friend of mine was in a horrible car wreck. It left him completely paralyzed on the left side.
He's alright now.
Did you hear about the baseball player who was in that terrible wreck?
It was a hit and run.
I am addicted to smashing up ceramic bathrooms.
I have a wreck tile dysfunction.
Air Force One gets caught in a storm in the midwest
And crashes. Because most of the roads are out, it takes emergency responders a long time to reach the wreck. When they get there, they see a farmer.
"Did you see the plane c**...?" asked the EMTs.
"Ayup. Sure did. Buried them all too," answered the farmer.
"None of them survived?"
"Well, the president said he did, but you know what a liar he is."
"My sister went on a c**... diet"
It's probably why she looks like a wreck
Did you know...
An AGM guided missile has an e**... big enough to wreck several decks on a warship?
Anyways, I got dishonorably discharged from the navy
3 jokes instead of 3 layers of cake. Let's go!
What is at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck
Where are all average things made?
The Satisfactory
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly Squats
Enjoy!
Switch Operator
This guy was applying for a job as a switch operator on the railroad. The engineer was conducting the interview. "What would you do if the Northern Express was heading north on Track 1 and the Southern Central was heading south on Track 1?" The guy thought. "Well, I'd call my brother." The engineer just sat there for a second. "Why on Earth would you call your brother?" "He's never seen a train wreck before."
What lays at the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A nervous wreck
I've just wrecked my new Kia.
Now I have NOKIA.
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit are in a car wreck
They are rushed to the hospital where it becomes clear that the priest and the pastor will need blood to survive. The priest has blood type A, while the pastor has type B. By the grace of God they are saved, as type Os can donate to both.
