JokoJokes

Wow Jokes

150 wow jokes and hilarious wow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with these hilariously bad joke compilation! Enjoy the best of the worst of Pow Wow, Bad Wow, and Lame Wow jokes, and get ready to respond with an Ooh, Aww, and Yea to the punchlines. Discover the funniest jokes today!

Funniest Wow Short Jokes

Short wow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wow humour may include short ooh jokes also.

  1. TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead
  2. What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car? A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
  3. My wife beamed at me with pride and said, Wow! I never thought our son would go that far! I said, This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.
  4. A weasel walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
  5. Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
    Me: yeah he is really milking it
  6. Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
  7. I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me! Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
  8. I want to be a millionaire just like my dad!! Wow, your dad's a millionaire?
    No, but he always wanted to be.
  9. Wow. The neighborhood barber just got arrested for dealing drugs. I've been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
  10. A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single." The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"
    cashier: "Because you're ugly."

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Wow One Liners

Which wow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wow? I can suggest the ones about yea and whoa.

  1. What did Owen Wilson and his wife exchange at their wedding? Wows
    I'll show myself out
  2. You play World of Warcraft AND Leage of Legends? Wow, lol.
  3. What did Earth say to the other planets? Wow. You guys have no life.
  4. A deer walks out of a gay bar... "Wow. I can't believe I just blew sixty bucks!"
  5. Whitney Houston is 3 Years sober! Wow! Never thought it would happen
  6. My boss said he races boats So I said, Wow, you must be a fast swimmer!
  7. Wow, you all like my corny dad jokes? Aw, shucks.
  8. What did the gay guy say while parking? Wow, I'm not straight at all...
  9. Wow, it's August 2020? This year flu by............................
  10. What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios? Wow!! Donut seeds!!!!
  11. All those with telekinetic powers raise my hand. Wow! I wasn't expecting that!
  12. A third-party vote walks out of a bar... He says "Wow, I'm wasted."
  13. What did the crude oil say to the gasoline? Wow, you look so refined
  14. What did the salt say to his girlfriend? Wow, you're so-dium beautiful
  15. Always compliment a girl "Wow you're a fast runner. You almost got away."

Bad Wow Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad wow jokes and even better bad wow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Neighbor: I'll have you know our lawyer has a $50,000 retainer! Me: Wow, how bad are his teeth?
  • Q: Why do you when you sign to a Dating site ? A: More bang for your buck !!!! (Wow, that was bad)
  • Jesus is a really bad WoW player... ...When he dies it takes 3 days to resurrect him.

Bow Wow Jokes

Here is a list of funny bow wow jokes and even better bow wow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Took my dog to the vet because he won't stop barking Turns out he's got irritable bow-wow syndrome
  • What do you call a gathering of dogs? A bow-wow pow-wow.
  • What do you call the rear of a dog ship. The Bow Wow.
  • Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"
    Sam: "I don't know."
    Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."
    Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
  • Why is the ending of an all Dog play the best? That bow. Wow!
  • What did the black dog say to the white dog Bow wow!
  • Why did the chicken say, "Meow, oink, bow-wow, moo?" He was studying foreign languages.

Wow All Races Jokes

Here is a list of funny wow all races jokes and even better wow all races puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man told his friend he won an iPhone in a race. The friend says "Oh, wow! How many people were in the race?"
    and the man says "Just the policeman, the phone's owner and I."
  • . What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
  • Dude 1: hey, nice phone! Dude 2: thanks! I won it in a race. Dude 1: really? Wow! Who'd you race against? Dude 2: the owner and the cops.

Pow Wow Jokes

Here is a list of funny pow wow jokes and even better pow wow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Wife asked if I'd like some tea I told her I'll take some "boo" tea.
    Pow-Chika-wow-wow

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Wow Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about wow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean phew jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wow pranks.

My favourite s**... position is called "WOW" ...

It's where I flip your MOM over

A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?"

He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"

"I love you lots snuggles" said my girlfriend

"And I love you tons" I replied.
"Wow fine, you don't have a nickname for me?" She said angrily.
Sometimes I swear the fat c**...'s going deaf.

I got a phone call from my son's school today

Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?
Yes, how can I help you?
Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling
Oh, hi
Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!
Really? Wow! That's..
Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet

My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini.

I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!"
He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year".

Two thieves break into a house. Once inside, they sneak into the master bedroom and tie up the n**... woman they find in there.

A startled, n**..., man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening and says, "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go."
The thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were. One of them says, "Wow, you must really love your wife in order to beg like that."
The man replies, "I do, and she will be home any minute!"

I watched the video of my wedding backwards.

I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.
Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!

I am a proud anti-vaccine Father of 3.

Edit- Two Now
2nd Edit- One Now
3rd Edit- Nevermind
4th Edit- WOW this really blew up. I would like to dedicate all these wonderful awards to my 3 children Byeson, Dieanne, and Ammunity. They would have been so proud. RIP

My favourite s**... position is called "WOW"...

Its when I flip your MOM.

A couple is taking a tour through the Natural History Museum. They ask the tour guide: "How old is this dinosaur skeleton?"

He replies: "It is sixty five million and fourteen years and three months old."
"Wow! It's amazing that you can tell this precise. How do you do that? Is it with carbon dating?"
"I don't know" says the guide. "But when I first came here they told me it was sixty five million years old. And I started here fourteen years and three months ago."

2 Trump Supporters go to heaven

St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates and asks if there is anything in the universe they'd like to know before meeting God. The fist guy asks, "What was really in Hillary's emails?"
"Nothing incriminating really", replies St. Peter.
The other guy turns and whispers, "Wow, this goes higher than we thought."

A man goes into a job interview

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.
The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!"

Hey girl, are you the SAT?

Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."

A man hires a blonde to paint his porch.

He tells her that the brushes, paint, and ladders are in the garage.
About 30 minutes later he hears a knock and answers the door. The blonde lets him know that she's finished.
"Wow" he says, "that was quick. Did you have enough paint?"
"Yup, enough for 2 coats!" she replies.
The man thanks and pays her. As she's leaving she turns around and says "By the way, it's not a porch. It's a Ferrari."
Disclaimer: I did not make up this joke although I wish I had.

Two Police officers.

Two police officers c**... their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says:
Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site.

My boss arrived at work in a brand new Lamborghini. I said wow that's an amazing car.

If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year.

What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he's m**...?

His ears.
Oooo! I get to say it! "Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!" Oh yea, and "RIP my inbox"
Good times!

How to be insulting

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

A woman got a pet parrot, but she was horrified to discover that all it did was say mean things and insult her.

Nothing she did could stop it.
She was especially worried because her whole family was coming over for Thanksgiving.
But when Thanksgiving dinner finally came, the parrot didn't say a word the entire time. After the meal, the Parrot turned to its owner and said, "Please forgive my behavior from before. I was entirely out of line."
"Wow," the woman said, "glad to hear it."
"If I may ask," said the Parrot, "what on Earth
did that turkey say to you?"

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.

My boss calls me "the computer"

Nothing to do with intelligence,
I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes
EDIT thank you all so much this is my first ever post to hit 1k upvotes and get awards
2nd edit wow 3k this post has blown out my previous record of 789 out of the water thank you so much

Has COVID-19 got you wearing glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.
EDIT (July 14, 2020 7:40PM PST): Um, wow. I did not expect the 2.9K likes, especially since I didn't come up with it. Thanks for the support guys and y'all got me, I read it somewhere else and shared it.

s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 6**...-3629."

My new favorite s**... position is called "wow".

It's where I turn your mom upside down.

Haven't seen this joke on here yet, it's my favorite.

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!".
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?".

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!".

What did the gamer say when his girlfriend asked what World of Warcraft and League of Legends were?

"Wow, lol"

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator...

And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe

For a moment, i had a different opinion on 'Chinese girls'

This Valentines day, I asked a Chinese girl for her number.
She said, "s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!"
I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 6**...-3629."

Two Blondes meet up for coffee...

Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been up to.
"I had s**... with two Brazilian guys last night", she said.
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other.

They say I'm overconfident

Edit 1: Thanks for the silver!
Edit 2: Thanks for the gold!
Edit 3: Thanks for the platinum!
Edit 4: Wow this really blew up!

Hillary and Bill sneak away from the secret service

Hillary and Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive. The two end up at a gas station and when they walk in, Hillary recognizes the clerk.
Hillary says hello to him and the two walk out. She turns to Bill and says I used to date that guy before I met you
Bill laughs and laughs and says wow, imagine where you'd be if you would've married that guy!
Hillary looks back at Bill and says I'd be married to the President of the United States
~ Courtesy of my father

My favorite s**... position is the WOW

That's when I flip your MOM over.

A man dies and arrives at Heaven

As he's standing at the Pearly Gates, he notices a huge wall of clocks behind St Peter.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St Peter replied, "Those are lie clocks, every time someone tells a lie, the hands on their clock move."
"Oh! Whose clock is that?" He says pointing.
"That's Mother Theresa's clock, it's hands have never moved."
"Wow! And whose clock is that?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock, it's hands have only moved twice."
The man asks, "Where is Boris Johnson's clock?"
St Peter replies, "We're using it as a ceiling fan"

Tribal Wisdom

So a cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself "Wagon...two gray horses...two passengers, man and woman...man driving" The cowboy goes "Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?" The Indian replies "No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over."

My boss pulled up to work today in his brand new Lincoln

As he got out of the car, I said to him "wow, that's a nice car!" He notices my admiration and says "Well, you know what? If you work hard, and put in the hours, I'll have an even better one next year."

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme.
Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.
*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

Wife: what are you getting me for our 10 year anniversary?

Husband: Im taking you to Africa
Wife: wow that's amazing I always wanted to go there. Then what you would get me for our 20th?
Husband: I will pick you up

My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with. "Eleven," I replied. "Wow! You must be a player," she laughed.

"No," I said, "I'm their coach."

A dog walks into a bar

The dog says, "Gimme a beer." The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says, "They're hiring electricians at the circus?"

A Driver gets Pulled Over

A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.
Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."
Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."
Driver: (very quickly) "ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA."
Officer: "Wow, I couldn't do that sober."
Driver: "Me neither."

Bill Gates Goes Fishing

Bill Gates goes fishing. Suddenly his fishing pole starts to jiggle, he quickly pulls it and see a gold fish hanging on it's edge.
"WAIT! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!" the fish screams.
Bill answers: "oh wow, a talking fish! That's amazing! There you go little guy, I was going to release you anyway" and sets him free.
The fish turns around and say: "Thank you, now how about a wish?"
Bill answers: "Oh alright... what do you want?"

A tourist decides to visit a Native American Chief who is famous for his perfect memory.

"Okay, Chief..." says the tourist,
"Let's test that memory of yours. What did you eat for breakfast on May 9th, 1972?"
The Chief thinks for a moment, and responds "Eggs."
The tourist replies, "Wow, that's incredible! You really do have a perfect memory." and leaves.

Ten years later the tourist finds himself in the Chief's neck of the woods and decides to pay him a visit.
He enters the Chief's home and respectfully greets him, saying "Hau, Chief."
The Chief promptly replies, "Scrambled."

I am s**... bomber AMA

Wow this blew up fast.

I went to a bar last night

and I saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said "Wow, great legs."
She giggled and said "Really?"
I said "Yea, most tables would've collapsed by now."

A dog walks into a bar and says, a beer, please. The bartender says, wow, you should be in the circus.

The dog says:
_Why!? Do they need electricians?_

Teacher : Why didn't you write your homework? Pupil : My dad is in a hospital

*7 days later* T : why didn't you write your homework this time?
P : my dad is still in the hospital.
T : wow, this must be serious.
*1 month later*
T : Let me guess, you didn't do your homework because your father is still in the hospital.
P : Indeed.
T: well, how come?
P : he's a doctor.

A friend of mine said, Wow! Your wife and your daughter look like twins.

I said, Well, they were separated at birth.

A man notices a TV for sale.

"Hey, how much is this TV?"
The salesman replies "1 dollar."
"Only a dollar? Why so cheap?"
The salesman tells him "the sound is stuck on the highest volume."
"So it's always on the highest volume? And it's only one dollar?"
"Yup."
"Wow, can't turn that down."

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

Two Blondes

Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been upto;
"I had s**... with two Brazilian guys last night"
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other

A body builder takes off his shirt.

A blonde says, "Wow, what a great chest you have!" He says, "100lbs of dynamite, babe!" He takes off his pants and the blonde says "What massive calves you have!" He replies, "That's 100lbs of dynamite, babe!" He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming in fear. He puts his clothes back on and chases behind her. He finally catches up with her and asks why she ran like that. She says, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"

Two men are golfing at a local golf course

The first man is about to putt when he sees a long f**... procession right near the course. He stops mid-putt, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.
The second man is in awe. "Wow, that is the most touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."

I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z...

My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!"
I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!"

Husband: Wow, I never thought our son would go that far!

Wife: Yeah, the catapult is amazing! Go get our daughter.

My Wife and I Were Sitting at a Table

At her high school reunion, when she kept staring at a drunken man swigging a beer as he sat at a nearby table.
I asked her "Do you know him?"
"Yes" she sighed. "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago & he hasn't been sober since.
"WOW" I said. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating for so long?!?"
And that's when the fight started....

I invented a new type of car...

Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"
My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"
Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."

On a first date:

Her - So what do you do?
Me - I am currently working on eliminating all cancers.
Her - Wow, that's impressive!
Me - Then I'll move onto Capricons.

I had s**... with my new girlfriend for the first time last night.

When we finished, she rolled off of me and said "wow, you're by far the biggest I've ever had!" Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.

"My first son has a PHD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and jornalism and my youngest son is a burglar."

Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!"
Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot...

The bartender says, "Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"
"Africa", says the parrot.

An employee sees his boss arrive at work one day in a brand new Lamborghini.

The employee goes out to the car park and says to his boss Wow that's an amazing car! I wish I had one just like it, that must have cost you a pretty penny!
The boss stands up, looks the employee in the face and says Yes, it did. And do you know something? Next year, if you work really hard, and you do your overtime, and you save your pennies, and you do your absolute best then maybe...
The employee, mystified and excited for what comes next, says yes...
The boss looks into the employees eyes and says then maybe... I'll have another one next year.

When I was in Japan I was asked by a woman on the train, "What's black and white and red all over?"

"Wow" I replied. "You speak English?"
She replied, "Just a riddle".

A Russian comes home after fishing trip

A Russian comes home after fishing trip and hears the news that Russia is at war. He asks another Russian what is going on, and he tells him:
"We are at war with NATO!"
"Oh wow, how many troops have been lost?"
"Well, we have lost 45,000 troops, almost 2000 tanks, a thousand artillery pieces, several hundred helicopters and aircraft, several generals have been captured, our economy is in shambles, and the Moskva was sunk.
"And NATO?"
"NATO hasn't showed up yet."

What does a redditor say when he detonates a bank vault?

Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold.

An artist talks to his curator about his recent sales

Artist: "So? Did I sell anything?"
Curator: "You won't believe this: a man came by and asked if the value of the paintings will rise after the artist's death. I told him that I think so. So he bought the entire gallery.
Artist: "Wow! That's great! who was he?"
Curator: "It was your doctor."

Bigger in Texas

A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. Wow, this bed is big!
Everything is big in Texas, says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. Wow these drinks are big!
The bartender replies, Everything is big in Texas.
After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. Second door to the right, says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, Don't flush, don't flush!

3 boys are bragging about their grandfathers

The first boy said: "My grandpa's mansion is worth a million dollars."
While the second said:"Well my grandpa's mansion is worth 5 million, he has a private basketball court and a clubhouse too. "
The last one said:" My grandpa's roof is worth 15 million alone... "
The other two replied:" Wow, where does your grandpa live?"
He replied:"under the overpass of course! "

I bought a universal remote the other day

and I thought to myself "Wow, this changes everything!"

In a confession booth...

ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.
PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.
ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.
PRIEST: You forgot pride.
ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.

A man takes off his shirt in the gym.

A blonde comes up to him and says, wow what a great chest you have! The man replies, Thats one hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes off his pants. The blonde says, Wow! What great calf's you have! The man then replies, that's two hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes of his underwear. The blonde runs off screaming in fear. When the man catches up to her he asks, Why did you run away? The blonde replies, I didn't wanna be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!

A man walks into a museum

He sees a dinosaur skeleton and asks the tour guide How old is that skeleton?
The tour guide says 65 million and 3 years, 5 months and 12 days.
Wow says the man, How do you get such a specific measurement?
The tour guide replies Well it was 65 million years old when I started working here. I've been here for 3 years, 5 months and 12 days.

jokes about wow