It's where I flip your MOM over
That's a lot of information to swallow
-wow thanks for the upvotes and gold
Because they are more likely to be dead
I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."
---
A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
"Pop," goes the weasel.
Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
Me: yeah he is really milking it
Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
"And I love you tons" I replied.
"Wow fine, you don't have a nickname for me?" She said angrily.
Sometimes I swear the fat cunt's going deaf.
Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?
Yes, how can I help you?
Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling
Oh, hi
Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!
Really? Wow! That's..
Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet
Almost on Monday
Almost on Tuesday
Almost on Wednesday
Almost on Thursday
Almost on Friday
Almost on Saturday
Almost on Sunday.!
But he was so good I didn't give a shit.
I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!"
He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year".
Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
Wow, your dad's a millionaire?
No, but he always wanted to be.
I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.
Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!
I had no idea he was a barber.
St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates and asks if there is anything in the universe they'd like to know before meeting God. The fist guy asks, "What was really in Hillary's emails?"
"Nothing incriminating really", replies St. Peter.
The other guy turns and whispers, "Wow, this goes higher than we thought."
A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.
The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!"
Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says:
Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site.
The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"
Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
One man in the crowd then yelled "Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?"
(Wow this exploded. Front... *wow*. Gotta say, I like the (current) top comment's version more.)
His ears.
Oooo! I get to say it! "Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!" Oh yea, and "RIP my inbox"
Good times!
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
A man goes to a bar and sees a 'larger' girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Daddy: "That's where mummy was hit by an axe, that's her axe wound."
Son: "Wow, bloody good shot, got her right in the cunt."
She said "wow this is the biggest penis I've ever had in my hand!" I said "Nah, you're just pulling my leg."
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
It's where I turn your mom upside down.
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!".
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?".
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!".
"Wow, lol"
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
This Valentines day, I asked a Chinese girl for her number.
She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free Sex tonight!"
I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wow? Well, here are the best Wow dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wow pick up lines to share with friends.