Wounded Jokes

Funniest Wounded Short Jokes

Short wounded jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wounded humour may include short injured jokes also.

1. Pablo Escobar was being informed on by local children. Mortally wounded by police gunfire, his last words to them were: "I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you Medellín kids"
2. Someone hit me in the head with a bottle of omega 3 tablets the other day. It's OK, it was just a super fish oil wound
3. Wound you be rich if you had 50 female pigs and 50 male deer? Of course you would, you'd have 100 sows and bucks
4. Back in the civil war, gunshot wounds used to be the most gruesome, awful way to die. Now it's considered kid stuff.
5. I was just struck in the head by a flying bottle of omega 3 pills! .... luckily, my wounds were only super fish oil.
6. A soldier was rushed to the hospital with a horrific bayonet wound. Unfortunately, he was pronounced dead on a rifle.
7. My wife threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at my head Don't worry though, my wounds were just super-fish-oil
8. I got into a fight in the drug store and they threw a bottle of Omega 3 at me. Luckily my wounds were only super fish oil.
9. My grandfather was killed when a book case fell on top of him. The doctor said he died of shelf-inflicted wounds.
10. What's the difference between a man with multiple stab wounds and a knife juggler? Practice.

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Wounded One Liners

Which wounded one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wounded? I can suggest the ones about hurt and gunshot wounds.

1. What do you call a small wound? A shortcut.
2. My Therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds"..... So, I stabbed him. Now we wait.
3. I asked the doctor if I could sew up my own wound. He said "suture self"
4. What's the best herbal remedy for cuts and scrapes? Thyme. It heals all wounds
5. Why doesn't Achilles have any scars? His wounds always heel.
6. What do you call a Japanese man with a head wound? An ambulance
7. What do you call a Mexican golfer with a gunshot wound? Hole in Juan.
8. A guy was found dead with ten stab wounds in his stomach. Somebody really hated his guts.
9. my therapist said time heals all wounds So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
10. The herb with the most medicinal properties is Thyme... It heals all wounds.
11. What's more memorable than a passionate kiss? A stab wound
12. You know what they say about herbal medicine... Thyme heals all wounds.
13. Why shouldn't you protest wound treatment? It won't get better if you picket it.
14. The easiest way to not have enemies is to outlive them In the end, time wounds all heels.
15. I knew that Achilles would die eventually After all, time wounds all heels.

Wounded Soldier Jokes

Here is a list of funny wounded soldier jokes and even better wounded soldier puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• An Imperial Roman soldier was wounded on the battlefield. His life was saved when he was time traveled to the modern world to be hooked up to an IV. He asked, "What is that for?"
• We lost a brave soldier today, died from a fatal wound to the aorta... But he did not die in vein.
• Does anyone know the joke about the soldier who had his wounds tended to? I can't remember it, but I know it's not a pun. There is no pun in tended to soldiers.
• Why did the young soldier go off searching for a wounded p**...? A cowboy told him there was a hoedown.

Uplifting Wounded Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about wounded you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bruised jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wounded pranks.