Woulda Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

With all the bad things happenning in america right now,

you woulda thought the whole thing was built on some Indian burial ground.

A blonde is speeding down the highway...

When a female officer, another blonde, spots her and pulls her over. She asks the driver for her license...

Blonde driver says, "What's that?"

Blonde Officer : "Its a square with your face on it."

The blonde driver ruffles through her bag and after a few seconds produces a square make-up mirror and hands it to the blonde officer. The officer looks into the mirror and says to the driver, "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop? I woulda let you go!"

Luigi's Fruit Shop

Maria went to Luigi's fruit and vegetable shop every week. She walked in on this particular day and said, 'Hello, Luigi. I woulda lika two kilos of tomatoes pleasa.'
'Ah, Maria, so sorry I have no tomatoes today.'
'Luigi, don'ta joka with me. You know that I always buy my tomatoes from you. Just give me my tomatoes, Luigi.'
'Maria, I told you, I have no tomatoes today.'
'Luigi, I'm in a hurry, please give me two kilos of tomatoes.'
'Maria, it's like this. How do you say "carrots", without the "c"?'
'Arrots.'
'How do you say "potatoes without the "p"?
'Otatoes.'
'How do you say "tomatoes" without the "f"?
'There's no "f" in tomatoes."
'That's whata I been trying to tell you, Maria. There's no effing tomatoes!'

How do you know a redneck invented the toothbrush?

If it where anyone else it woulda been called a teethbrush

I was in that movie Constipation...

But it didn't come out! That movie woulda been the s&*t!

Could-a Would-a Should-a

Or as cheese lovers like to say,

Gouda Wouda Shouda

too bad xxxtentacion couldn't collab with chris brown before his death

it woulda been a hit

"Wow! So many hurricanes so close together! Who woulda thought!"

"More than 95 percent of scientist."

Based on true events.

What are the funniest woulda jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Woulda? Well, here are the best Woulda puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Woulda pick up lines to share with friends.

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