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Worthless Jokes

58 worthless jokes and hilarious worthless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about worthless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Worthless Short Jokes

Short worthless jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The worthless humour may include short useless jokes also.

  1. What costs hundreds of millions of dollars but is worthless? 2nd place in a presidential election.
  2. ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting. CRITIC: It's worthless.
    ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway.
  3. My girlfriend told me to go put the toilet seat down... So I walked in the bathroom, looked at the toilet seat and yelled "you're worthless and no one likes you!"
  4. If you ever feel worthless in your life, Remember that it is someone's job to install turn signals on BMWs.
  5. My son's arts and crafts class isn't graded. I'm glad they teach kids how worthless a liberal-arts degree is at such a young age.
  6. I don't find self-deprecating humor funny anymore. I guess my sense of humor is as boring and worthless now as the rest of my personality always has been
  7. Never let anyone tell you that you're worthless Piece by piece, I could make 50,000 dollars off of you on the black market.
  8. Who has the most worthless job in the world? The guy who installs signal lights on BMW cars.
  9. I would like to thank President Donald Trump on behalf of my wife... suddenly the thousands I invested into Canadian dating sites wasn't so worthless after all.
  10. I saw my sister sobbing in her room, worried that her Philosophy degree might be worthless in today's job market. I said, Are you having an existential cry, sis?

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Worthless One Liners

Which worthless one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with worthless? I can suggest the ones about pointless and priceless.

  1. If you ever feel worthless, just remember It's someones job to install blinkers on BMW's
  2. You are never worthless Organs go for a lot on the black market.
  3. Can we stop with the Ruble jokes already? We already know they're worthless.
  4. Rubble is a word for worthless garbage Sorry I meant ruble.
  5. Never feel worthless! Your organs are worth thousands.
  6. Girl, are you an ITT Tech degree? Because you're worthless.
  7. People tell me my pet rock is worthless... but I think it has sedimental value.
  8. My worthless brother just lives off the government... I told him not to become mayor
  9. How do you starve a worthless mooch? By hiding his employment check in his work boots.
  10. [new euphemism]: "As worthless as the last sheet on a roll of paper towels"
  11. If you ever feeling worthless, just remember that Gotham City has a police department.
  12. if I had a yen for every time I was racist I'd be as worthless as an Asian guy.
  13. What is worthless, useless, and has three holes. A snowman with no nose
  14. If you donate something worthless Is it still a donation?
  15. What's small, brown, and near worthless. An African child.

Worthless joke, What's small, brown, and near worthless.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about worthless can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of worthless puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Great Worthless Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about worthless you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean meaningless jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make worthless prank.

A young artist exhibits his work for the first time...

.. and a well known art critic is in attendance.
The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"
"Yes, " says the artist.
"It's worthless," says the critic
The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."

You looked a lot like my wife

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

I was going to go as a worthless piece of garbage for Halloween...

...but then I realized I go as that every day of the year.

Homeless man and a Suicidal Woman.

A woman was standing on the edge of a bridge ready to jump, a homeless man approached her and the woman said "NO! NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL STOP ME FROM JUMPING, I AM WORTHLESS!!"
The homeless man replied "Okay, fine. But before you do, will you have s**... with me? I haven't had s**... in 25 years."
The woman replied "No, you're disgusting."
The homeless man turned and began to walk away when the woman said "WAIT! THAT'S IT? YOU'RE NOT GONNA TALK ME OUT OF THIS?"
The homeless man turned, smiled and said, "I'm going to the bottom, if I hurry, you'll still be warm."

What are condoms?

Something your worthless f**... of a father couldn't afford.

So an emo teenager went to grocery store.

He went up to the cashier and said, pointing to his scarred arm
"Hey, can you scan this?"
The cashier then scans the arm, only to say,
"I'm sorry sir, but this item is worthless"

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
-Sure.
-It's pretty much worthless.
-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.

A couple weeks ago I was feeling really depressed and worthless, but I've really turned it around...

Now I feel worthless and depressed

If I got 1$ for every geography test I failed

I could finally understand that I live in Europe, where these are worthless

No matter how worthless you may think you are, just remember; ...

...you are always worth something on the black market.

Worthless

When you know s**... is a sin so you just live every day hoping to get hit by a bus

My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.

When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

Being an adult, I now realize how wise and correct my father really was...

I am worthless and will never amount to anything.

Why is a degree like a c**...?

It's rolled up when you get it, it represents a lot of effort, and its worthless the next day.

An artist takes his work to a gallery for the first time.

A well-known art critic happens to be there and spots the painting. He walks over to the young artist.
"Excuse me, would you like my opinion of your painting?"
"Sure," replied the artist.
"Frankly, it's completely worthless."
"I know, but tell it to me anyway."

The art critic

A young painter is exhibiting his work for the first time, and a famous art critic is in attendance.
The critic has a look around and then finds the artist, saying to him: "Do you want my opinion on your art?"
The artist of course says "yes"
The critic replies "it's worthless"
"I know. But tell me anyway."

A man walks into an Indian restaurant.

The waiter asks, have you ever ordered here before?
The man replies, No, I haven't.
The waiter continues, We're a little different here. Before you order, I need you read and sign this form, and he hands a piece of paper to the man.
The man squints at the paper and reads the single sentence, We have naan at this restaurant. The man looked up, puzzled, and asked why he needed to sign this worthless statement.
The waiter replied, impatiently, Just sign the naan disclosure agreement and we can move on.

A Bad Original Joke

One day, a farmer walked up to a fisherman, and said, "Oi, I found this 'ere red thing glimmerin' at the river over yonder. Issa worth much?"
The fisherman takes a look at what the farmer caught. After inspecting it for quite some time, he frowns and says, "I'm afraid it's worthless, sir.
The farmer frowns. "I'm not sure what you're talking about. It's glimmerin', and it looks like a ruby if I've ever seen one!"
"I'm sorry sir. I'm afraid this is just a red herring."

A preacher rides into a town in the old west...

As he's riding into town, his horse keeps stumbling around the street. The reins are finally grabbed by the Sheriff, who says, "This stallion okay?"
The preacher says, "Yes. We passed through a patch of p**... and he ate some. But that aside, I come to tell you of God's good word, to help you worthless, sinful heathens to-"
The Sheriff shakes his head, struggling to hold the animal still, and says "Now before you go preaching to us, why don't you get off your high horse."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it had crippling depression, it was constantly reminded that it's life was worthless to those it was looked down on by. A mere piece of meat, not a living creature, worthy of respect, and dignity. It didn't want to live in a constant state of fear and depression, knowing that it's only purpose in life would be death. So it escaped the farm, and took off to the highway... it saw the lights, and though the creature feared death, it was relieved to be free from the fear that plagued it.
So in short... to get to the other side.

Sophie asks a taxi driver:

"How much does it cost to take me to the airport?"
\- 250 bucks
"What if we take my husband too?"
\- Same 250 bucks.
Sophie turns to her Husband:
"Haven't I told you, you are actually worthless."

Worthless joke, Who has the most worthless job in the world?

jokes about worthless

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these worthless jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.