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Worst Nightmare Jokes

53 worst nightmare jokes and hilarious worst nightmare puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about worst nightmare that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Worst Nightmare Short Jokes

Short worst nightmare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The worst nightmare humour may include short nightmare jokes also.

  1. I feel bad for Anne Frank She had her diary published for all the world to read, which is every girl's worst nightmare!
    And she didn't get paid for it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.
  2. So last night I had to do every married man's worst nightmare, defrost the fridge. Or as she likes to call it, foreplay.
  3. I must have had the worst nightmare ever Everything was absolutely perfect and completely peaceful. It was almost like it wasn't even trying.
  4. My worst nightmare was when I was trapped in a pitch-black room with Iron Man. It would've been fine, but I'm afraid of the Stark...
  5. What is a seamstress's worst nightmare? A nervous kid with sharp finger nails
  6. What is a US Navy Seal's worst nightmare? Polar bears, they eat the seals.
  7. Luke Cage is a cop's worst nightmare... A bulletproof black man in a hoodie.
  8. What was a telemarketer's worst nightmare! ​He could not connect with the callee.
  9. What is a casino dealer's worst nightmare? Master Better
  10. What's a feminists worst nightmare? Fat free milk

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Worst Nightmare One Liners

Which worst nightmare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with worst nightmare? I can suggest the ones about absolute worst and biggest fear.

  1. What's a lemon worst nightmare? Lemonaids
  2. What's a homophobic child's worst nightmare? A monster coming out of the closet
  3. What's a cucumber farmers worst nightmare? Squatters.
  4. What is a minimalist's worst nightmare? A mansion.
  5. What's a whale's worst nightmare? Being compared to Amy Schumer
  6. Last night, I had the worst nightmare ever It wasn't even remotely terrifying.
  7. What type of customer is Target's worst nightmare? Expert marksmen/gun enthusiasts.
  8. Whats a Pirate's worst nightmare? A small chest... with no boooooty.
    Happy Thursday.
  9. Who is one human we all love, but is a dogs worst nightmare? Bob Barker.
  10. Why did god create Clint Eastwood? Because even Chuck Norris needs a worst nightmare.
  11. What is a mexican hacker's worst nightmare A Firewall
  12. What is a plumber's worst nightmare That his family dies in a house fire
  13. What is Spain's worst nightmare? Voters
  14. What's a prehistoric bouncer's worst nightmare? A Tyranasaurus... Wrecked
  15. When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.

Comical Worst Nightmare Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about worst nightmare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean worst depression jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make worst nightmare pranks.

A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city.
Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse.
The farmer welcomed them in but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals.
After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn.
Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse.
The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep.
There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig.
The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief.
A short time later, another knock was heard at the door.
The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and that every time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst nightmare, that of burning to death.
The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn.
This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later, when another knock was heard at the door.
When the occupants answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.

What's a mathematicians worst nightmare?

An EULer spill

What's a Jew's worst nightmare...

The Holocaust, or the Hall of Cost?

What is a cheating wife's worst nightmare?

A husband in his hybrid

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What is a pirate's worst nightmare?

A sunken chest and no b**....

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Who is Hitlers worst nightmare?

k**... Tyson.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's a Jewish Sharks worst nightmare?

Adolphin h**...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's an Alcoholic Islamic extremists worst nightmare?

A-Locked-Bar

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What is a s**... b**... worst nightmare?

Pocket dials

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's a gay crocodile's worst nightmare?

Gatoraids.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's a lesbian's worst nightmare?

A woman with nails.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What is the Russian army generals worst nightmare?

That Finns learn to reproduce like the Chinese, or that the Chinese learn to reproduce like Finns

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

"ITS ALIVE, ITS ALIVE!!!" - Frankenstein's dream

A necrophilliac' worst nightmare.