Worshiped God Jokes
14 worshiped god jokes and hilarious worshiped god puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about worshiped god that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Worshiped God Short Jokes
Short worshiped god jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The worshiped god humour may include short worship jokes also.
- There's new offshoot of the Catholic Church that worships a paper bag as the divine manifestation of the One, True God. It's pretty sack-religious.
- My boss keeps asking me to cut my hair. I keep telling him it is part of my religion I worship the Metal Gods.
- What is the difference between someone who worships God & someone who worships the sun? The sun exists.
- Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as
gods.
Cats have never forgotten this. - I'm not sure whether putting up Christmas lights would offend my Hindu neighbors. So to make sure, I hung a giant banner saying YOU WORSHIP FALSE GODS! on my window.
- Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos.
That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move. - God came to earth to look for robbers who worshipped him ... But found most of them atheist.
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Worshiped God One Liners
Which worshiped god one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with worshiped god? I can suggest the ones about god created and prayed.
- The god I worship is d/dx(-cos(x)) Because whenever I need it, it always gives me a sine
- God doesn't hate you just thinks you would be better off worshipping someone else.
Laughable Worshiped God Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about worshiped god you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gods jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make worshiped god pranks.
Adam tells God he's really lonely on earth alone
God says "Adam I'm going to make you a woman."
Adam says "what's that?"
God says "It's another human that you will able to bond with. She'll love you, care for you, cook for you, worship you and tend to your every desire. She will be at your beckon call, give you offspring and you will never want for anything else in life again."
Adam says "that sounds wonderful Lord. What will it cost me?"
God says "it will cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam thinks for a second and says "what can I get for a rib?"
Three Christian mothers are having afternoon tea and boast about their sons.
The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:
'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"
"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.
Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:
'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"
The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"
The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:
'MY GOD!'"
Misc religion based puns
What do you call a horse who doesn't believe in God?
Hay-thiest
What do you call a pig who believes in the old gods?
A pag-ham.
What do you call a practitioner of Hinduism who solely worships in the morning?
A Hin-dew.
What do you call a caveman unsure it he believes in tools or not?
Ag-no-stick.
A long time ago, in the middle east
There was a town where everyone worshipped many gods. But one day, a young boy arrived from afar, claiming to be a prophet sent by Allah. He told them to convert to Islam, or else they would receive divine punishment.
Naturally, the townspeople rejected his words, and they executed him in public. Mere days later, a mysterious disease swept through the town and killed every last one of them.
They should have obeyed the Quran teen.
Long/Sexist (On mobile and I can't find the flair) A priest and a woman are walking up the Gates of Heaven when they're greeted by St. Peter
St. Peter tells them Sorry, we're packed today, we can only allow in whichever one of you supported God the most.
So he looks about both of their informations for each of their lives, and he decides to pick the woman.
Of course, the Priest was astonished. He had spent his entire life worshipping the Lord, and he's baptized so many people. So he asks How did she get in, and not me?
St. Peter replies Because, her entire life, whenever someone was in her car while she's driving, they always scream OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD .