Worms Jokes
64 worms jokes and hilarious worms puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about worms that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Worms Short Jokes
Short worms jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The worms humour may include short moths jokes also.
- What's the difference between donald trump and a worm? One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
- God: *creates worm* Hey there little buddy! worm: Thanks for the worm welcome
God: *creates birds* - A: Whats's worse than a worm in the apple? B: The Holocaust.
A: What's worse than the Holocaust?
B: 5 Million Jews. - What is two times more disgusting than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple
- There must be another planet somewhere with worms. Otherwise why would we call ours Earth worms
- What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding only half worm
[it's a joke my mom used to tell me when I was little] - Noah was fishing one day off the side of the ark. Suddenly he looked around and yelled out, "Can someone bring me the *other* worm?"
- My doctor informed me that they've found life on other planets... He says there are worms living in Uranus.
- If I go on a discount fishing trip and I lose the worm off the hook of my fishing line... Am I entitled to a rebait?
- First bird gets the worm, second mouse gets the cheese but the third wife gets The White House
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Worms One Liners
Which worms one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with worms? I can suggest the ones about crabs and fungus.
- Two silk worms are in a wrestling match It ended in a tie.
- Two silk worms were in a race... It ended in a tie.
- Why did Noah have so much difficulty fishing on the ark? He only brought two worms.
- What has 182 teeth and holds a small worm? My zipper
- What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.
- What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust
- How do ghouls sign off a letter? Best witches and worm regards
- The early bird might get the worm, but The second mouse *always* gets the cheese
- People who put the punchline in the title What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
- What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.
- Two worms started fighting It ended in a tie
- The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese
- Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food? It was on a strict diet of worms.
- What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
- What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cutting your toe off with an axe
Humorous Worms Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about worms you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mice jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make worms pranks.
What do worms and girls have in common?
They both squirm when you eat them
Two guys were out on a lake ice fishing
One looks at the other and sees that he's got a pile of fish, and asks him,
"hey buddy, how'd you catch so many fish and I'm sitting here with nothing?"
"Eep or orms orm" the man grumbled
"What?"
"Eep or orms orm!"
"Buddy, i got no clue what you're saying!"
The man spat in exasperation and said, "Keep your worms warm!"
Two fisherman friends
Two fisherman friends meet for the first time in months and start to catch up.
* -So how are you?
* -I'm very well. I actually got married recently.
* -Congratulations, that's great news! So how is your wife, is she beautiful?
* -Not really...
* -Ah, so she's smart then?
* -Not at all...
* -Has she got money?
* -Nope.
* -Then why did you marry her?
* -She's got worms.
The early bird ate all the worms...
and died from obesity.
"The FISH joke"
A lazy guy went fishing but forgot the worms. So instead, he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on it; "I am a delicious worm!", attached it the hook and threw it in the water .. After 3 hours of waiting, he finally felt a drag.. so he quickly pulled the hook out of the water, and found a different piece of paper that says: ".. And I am a delicious fish ;)"
Where do worms play tennis?
Wormbledon.
What do you get when you cross worms with elephants?
Big holes in your garden
A traditional Iranian joke
A man has a very bad case of worms so he goes to very famous doctor. the doctor assesses his case and says go to the market buy the biggest juicy watermelon you can find, cut off one end drop your pants and sit on it. The worms will go into it and leave your body. So the guy does just that and when he sits down the king worm comes out tastes the watermelon and says " bring it in boys"!
What common trait do viruses, t**... horses and worms have in common?
They are all INSECURE.
A man wanted to teach his sons the evils of alcohol
So he takes out two glasses. Fills one with bourbon and one with water.
He puts A worm in the bourbon and a worm in the water. Worm in the water lives, worm in the bourbon dies.
He turns to his son and say "now what does that teach you about the evils of alcohol?"
His son thought about it for a second and says "well if I drink bourbon I won't get worms"
-my dad tells this one to at least one person every time he goes into a liquor store-
What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?
Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.
A priest in church wanted to demonstrate the dangers of alcohol.
He took out a live worm, dipped it in a glass of water and pulled it out alive. 'See? The worm is alive and well'. He now dips the worm in a glass of whisky and pulls out the worm. He screams at the congregation 'look at this worm. It's dead now. What does that tell you? The drunk at the back says: if you drink whisky you won't get worms.
Why are all early birds Catholics?
Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms.
Why are all other planets so far from Earth?
Because Earth has worms.
I like my apples how I like my clown h**...:
Red, yellow, green and devoid of worms.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts!
Wife : Honey before we got married , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelry.
Husband : Yes…so ?
Wife : How come you don't do it anymore ?
Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fish after catching it?
What's worst drug for a fish?
Worms. Once you get hooked, you're dead.
What do you call a kid with worms and an eyepatch?
Names.
Heard from Bo Burnham
Why are Protestants like birds?
They both have a Diet of Worms
This Date in History: January 28, 1521. The Diet of Worms begins
and lasts until people get tired of eating worms.
People who steal our privacy to manipulate us are worms.
We should call them Cambridge Annelidica
Coffee News Gem
Game Warden: Fishing?
Person without fishing license: Nah, drowning worms.
What did Martin Luther's pet bird eat?
A Diet of Worms
Noah was feeling bored on the Ark
His wife said, "Why don't you go outside and fish for a little?"
Noah agreed, grabbed his fishing pole and went out on the deck to fish.
He comes back in 10 minutes later, sits down, and pouts.
His wife asks him, "Why did you stop fishing?" and he says,
"I ran out of worms."
Worms
Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:
1st in beer
2nd in wine
3rd in whiskey
4th in mineral water
The next day, the teacher shows the results:
The 1st worm in beer, dead.
The 2nd in wine, dead.
The 3rd in whiskey, dead.
The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.
The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?
And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey, does not have worms.
Why didn't Noah go fishing often?
He only had two worms.
The good news is . . .
I got up this morning and took my blood pressure and cholesterol medicine but later found out they were the wrong medicines. The good news is I don't have to worry about worms or fleas for the next three months.
How do you open a can of worms?
I dunno, maybe ask the elephant in the room?
Anyone remember Worms: Armageddon for the PS1?
What a great game! I think it must be very underrated, though. I always used to tell people at school I've got Worms , but it would make them distance themselves from me :(
With no sports on tv, I'm watching birds fight over worms in the yard...
Only time the Orioles have had a winning record.
A Vicar was preaching on the d**... Drink, saying whiskey can kill but water can't.
To prove it he had a glass of each. He dropped a worm into the water and it wiggled about. He dropped a worm into the whiskey.
Stone dead.
A person at the back jumped up shouting, "I'll have the whiskey Vicar! I've been having trouble with worms all my life
What's quiet but smells like worms?
Bird farts.
My grandfather promised to take me fishing next week but he had a heart attack this morning.
Even after death he is keeping his promise of collecting worms.
A man thought he was a worm.
A man thought he was a worm. And thus he was afraid of chickens, because, well, chickens eat worms. Obviously.
So he went into therapy. After 6 months the therapist managed to convince him that he no longer was a worm.
And as a final test, he needed to face chickens. Upon seeing the chickens he got scared and hid himself from the chickens.
Upon seeing this his therapist asked "Why are you hiding from the chickens, are you still thinking you are a worm?"
The man replied "No I know I'm not a worm. But do the chickens know?"
A guy with worms up his b**... goes to see a doctor.
Guy: Doc, these worms be killing me, what can we do ??
Doc: Get a watermelon, sit on it, once the worm leader gets a taste, He'll call his buddies to join him out.
And sure enough our guy does as instructed, after hours of watermelon sitting, the worm leader crawls out for little taste.
The worm leader: Yo me hearties, on my three, and.. LIFT!
My son told me he Likes to eat worms
Sounds fishy to me
Why didn't Noah do any fishing while he was on the ark?
He only had two worms.
What did the fisherman do at the doctor's office after accidentally swallowing a bucket full of worms?
He waited on his diagnosis with baited breath
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol.
She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
She says "I want you to see this."
She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.
She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"
The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Did you know that Archaeopteryx ate worms?
After all, it's an early bird.
