Worm Jokes
94 worm jokes and hilarious worm puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about worm that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A funny collection of worm jokes, featuring gummy worms, glow worms, caterpillars and more! Perfect for allowing kids and deniers to dive into the world of worms with a smile on their faces. Whether you're looking for a laugh or simply want to fill a beaker with fun, these worm jokes are for you!
Funniest Worm Short Jokes
Short worm jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The worm humour may include short moth jokes also.
- God: *creates worm* Hey there little buddy! Worm: Thanks for the worm welcome
God: *creates birds* - A: Whats's worse than a worm in the apple? B: The Holocaust.
A: What's worse than the Holocaust?
B: 5 Million Jews. - What is two times more disgusting than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple
- There must be another planet somewhere with worms. Otherwise why would we call ours Earth worms
- What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding only half worm
[it's a joke my mom used to tell me when I was little] - Noah was fishing one day off the side of the ark. Suddenly he looked around and yelled out, "Can someone bring me the *other* worm?"
- My doctor informed me that they've found life on other planets... He says there are worms living in Uranus.
- If I go on a discount fishing trip and I lose the worm off the hook of my fishing line... Am I entitled to a rebait?
- First bird gets the worm, second mouse gets the cheese but the third wife gets The White House
- My friend told me I could fish better if I took the worm off the hook. That was debaitable.
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Worm One Liners
Which worm one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with worm? I can suggest the ones about wolf and bugs.
- Two silk worms are in a wrestling match It ended in a tie.
- Why did Noah have so much difficulty fishing on the ark? He only brought two worms.
- What has 182 teeth and holds a small worm? My zipper
- What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.
- What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust
- How do ghouls sign off a letter? Best witches and worm regards
- The early bird might get the worm, but The second mouse *always* gets the cheese
- People who put the punchline in the title What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
- What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.
- Two worms started fighting It ended in a tie
- Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food? It was on a strict diet of worms.
- What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
- What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not protecting net neutrality.
- I know she ate a worm but we are not here to debate de bait deb ate.
- Did you know that Archaeopteryx ate worms? After all, it's an early bird.
Gummy Worm Jokes
Here is a list of funny gummy worm jokes and even better gummy worm puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you catch a Swedish fish? With a gummy worm as bait
- What parasites do candy get? What parasites do candy get?
-Gummy Worms
Glow Worm Jokes
Here is a list of funny glow worm jokes and even better glow worm puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If a glow worm were to have its tail cut off … … would it be de-lighted?
Happy Worm Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about worm you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean frog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make worm pranks.
What do worms and girls have in common?
They both squirm when you eat them
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Self-proclaimed "west virginia backwoods r**..." told me these were the best jokes ever, tha. Waid "birds's gotta eat, just like a worm."
what do you call a deer with no eyes? ... .
No eye deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye deer.
Latvian man dies of hunger.
He sees St Peter at Pearly Gate. St Peter give him bread and say, "Struggle over now". Man cry from happy. But, look again! St Peter is really devil, and bread have worm. Struggle continues.
"The FISH joke"
A lazy guy went fishing but forgot the worms. So instead, he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on it; "I am a delicious worm!", attached it the hook and threw it in the water .. After 3 hours of waiting, he finally felt a drag.. so he quickly pulled the hook out of the water, and found a different piece of paper that says: ".. And I am a delicious fish ;)"
what's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
al sharpton.
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Finding half a worm in it. And what's worse than that?
The holocaust
Step 1: Walk without rhythm, Step 2: Ride the worm
Step 3: Prophet
"Mum, if I cut a worm in half, will the two halves be friends?"
"Not with you, they won't."
Yesterday I told this joke about a worm being eaten early in the morning
The birds loved it.
A man wanted to teach his sons the evils of alcohol
So he takes out two glasses. Fills one with bourbon and one with water.
He puts A worm in the bourbon and a worm in the water. Worm in the water lives, worm in the bourbon dies.
He turns to his son and say "now what does that teach you about the evils of alcohol?"
His son thought about it for a second and says "well if I drink bourbon I won't get worms"
-my dad tells this one to at least one person every time he goes into a liquor store-
There's a wormhole in the center of my bagel....
"Of course, that's not a Cinnamon-Rosen bagel....you bought an EINSTEIN-Rosen bagel!"
What bait do you use to catch a space fish?
A worm hole
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Being r**... by a giant scorpion..
What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink?
The Alaskan Bull Worm.
A priest in church wanted to demonstrate the dangers of alcohol.
He took out a live worm, dipped it in a glass of water and pulled it out alive. 'See? The worm is alive and well'. He now dips the worm in a glass of whisky and pulls out the worm. He screams at the congregation 'look at this worm. It's dead now. What does that tell you? The drunk at the back says: if you drink whisky you won't get worms.
What does a worm do in a cornfield?
It goes in one ear and out the other
Sir, you cannot fish here!
Sir, you cannot fish here!
Don't worry, I'm not fishing, I'm just teaching my worm to swim.
Whats Worse Than Finding A Worm In Your Apple?
Getting Hit By A Truck
A boy and his grandfather are playing outside...
A boy and his grandfather are playing outside. They see a worm come out of a hole.
"I bet you $5 you can't put the worm back in that hole," the grandfather said.
The boy gets a glint in his eye and runs into the house. He returns with a bottle of hairspray and proceeds to spray the worm until it is stiff, then he sticks it in the hole.
The grandpa, defeated, gives the boy $5 and takes the bottle of hairspray. He walks into the house and the boy keeps playing.
A while later, the grandfather returns outside and gives the boy $10.
"But grandpa, you already gave me the money for the bet," the boy told him.
"Yeah, I know. *That* money is from grandma."
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
The August 1945 atomic bombings of hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Why did Einstein try to cross an elephant with a worm?
He wanted really big wormholes.
A Blind Professional Fisherman, Is Given the Honerary Title of "Master Baiter"
*He replies* : " It's easy. You just grab your worm, wrap it tight. Cast your pole, and just pray that you inevitably smell something fishy."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A worm munches himself into the center of a cucumber.
He keeps eating the delicious cucumber center when all of a sudden he feels himself lifted into the sky and t**... into a jar. He peaks out of the cucumber to see a bunch of other cucumbers. All of a sudden he sees liquid being poured inside the jar.
He crawled back inside his cucumber grave where he thought to himself "I'm really in a pickle this time."
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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Cutting your toe off with an axe
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding that your Windows has a bug.
Two fishermen are out on a lake...
One is struggling to get a worm on their lines hook turns to the other and says how did you master bait?
How do you tell if a worm is a boy worm or a girl worm?
Tell it a joke - if he laughs it's a boy, and if she laughs it's a girl.
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What do you you call a mexican inch worm?
An inch-a-lotta
Worms
Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:
1st in beer
2nd in wine
3rd in whiskey
4th in mineral water
The next day, the teacher shows the results:
The 1st worm in beer, dead.
The 2nd in wine, dead.
The 3rd in whiskey, dead.
The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.
The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?
And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey, does not have worms.
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h**... worm in your stomach
Eat apples for 6 straight days and on the 7th day eat an orange instead , then the worm will come out of your stomach and ask " dude where's my apple???" then you take a baseball bat and beat him to death.
What does a formal argument and a worm on a hook have in common?
De bate.
What did the plant say to the worm?
Oooh that tickles
What temperature does a caterpillar like?
Worm Temperature
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Four insurance companies are in competition.
One comes up with the slogan, "Coverage from the cradle to the grave."
The Second one tries to improve on that with, "Coverage from the w**... to the tomb."
Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with, "From the s**... to the worm."
The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with, "From the e**... to the resurrection."
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what is similar between s**..., and fishing? It doesn't matter how deep you go,
it matters how you wiggle the worm.
I don't get why wormholes are interesting, I saw one this morning
Then I threw my apple away
A before Viagara Joke
One day Grandpa was watching Junior playing with an earthworm. Grandpa said, " Junior, I will give you $10 if you can put that worm back down in its hole."
The kids thinks and thinks, then runs into the house and returns with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worn all over and as it gets stiff he stuffs it down into the hole. Grandpa gives the boy $10.
The next day Grandpa comes out to where Junior is playing and gives the boy $20. The boy looked up in confusion and asked, "What's this for?"
Grandpa smiles and says, "That's from Grandma!"
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Cancer.
A man thought he was a worm.
A man thought he was a worm. And thus he was afraid of chickens, because, well, chickens eat worms. Obviously.
So he went into therapy. After 6 months the therapist managed to convince him that he no longer was a worm.
And as a final test, he needed to face chickens. Upon seeing the chickens he got scared and hid himself from the chickens.
Upon seeing this his therapist asked "Why are you hiding from the chickens, are you still thinking you are a worm?"
The man replied "No I know I'm not a worm. But do the chickens know?"
What does a librarian take fishing?
A good hook!
(Evidently the correct answer is book worm but I liked my answer better!)
A worm walks into a bar
The bartender asks him, "how did you do that?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti…
It says, d**..., that was one h**... of an o**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's worse than biting into an apple and discovering a worm?
Having high voltage electrodes attached to your t**... and being flogged senseless with a knotted rope.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What's worse than biting into an apple and discovering a worm?
Slowly dying of late stage s**....
This old one always makes me laugh for the reaction
Joke teller: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Stooge: Finding half a worm?
Joke teller: Well, I was going to say the holocaust, but okay .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy with worms up his b**... goes to see a doctor.
Guy: Doc, these worms be killing me, what can we do ??
Doc: Get a watermelon, sit on it, once the worm leader gets a taste, He'll call his buddies to join him out.
And sure enough our guy does as instructed, after hours of watermelon sitting, the worm leader crawls out for little taste.
The worm leader: Yo me hearties, on my three, and.. LIFT!
Worm 1: "what's for dinner tonight"
Worm 2: "Meatloaf..."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leach
One is a spineless bloodsucking parasite, the other is a literal worm.
What's worse than a worm in your apple?
That's right, it's malaria.
An alcoholics anonymous meeting takes place. The presenter completes a demonstration.
He brings out two glasses, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of water and an earthworm. He pours one glass with water and the other with whiskey. He then drops the worm into the bottle of water, where it wriggles around for a little while, but is ok.
He then picks it up and drops it into the whiskey, where it struggles and soon dies.
He asks the participants what does this show us?
Bubba Joe stands up at the back of the crowd and exclaims If I drink whiskey I won't get worms!
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol.
She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
She says "I want you to see this."
She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.
She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"
The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Gone fishin'
I remember my brother teaching me to fish. I was so proud when he complimented me on my ability to securely put the worm on the hook. I didn't realize I was being had until I announced at the supper table that I was a " master baiter", and my Mom nearly choked.
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What is it called when you run over a worm?
Vermicular h**...
The worm experiment
In front of her 4th grade class a teacher takes 4 glasses and fills them up with brandy, wine, beer and water. Then she puts a worm inside each one and let them sit for the night.
The day after she shows to the students each glass and, without any suprise, all worm but the one in the water are stone dead.
"So - she ask the students - what did this experiment teach us?"
From the back of the class the hand of Little Johnny rises up.
"Well, Miss, this experiment taught me that, if I drink brandy, wine or beer, I'll never get worms!"
Father Instructs
He sat down very seriously in front of his son, which the son realized meant one of those boring lectures was imminent.
Father produced a brandy snifter, into which he dropped an earthworm. He then took up a bottle of tequila and filled the glass with it.
The worm quickly dissolved.
Now, , what do we learn from this experiment?
Son, thoughtfully.
I guess if you drink tequila you won't have worms.
