The Best 70 Worlds Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Worlds jokes. There are some worlds realm jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these worlds world greatest puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Worlds Jokes and Puns

My friend is in advertising,lately he ask 10 women whats the worlds number 1 dandruff shampoo.10/10 answered

...HOW DID YOU GET INSIDE MY BATHROOM PERVERT!!!

A group of revolutionaries hired a Swiss watch maker to build a clock that would chime when the overthrow began.

And the worlds first Coup Coup Clock was born...

February 1st, 1234 AD must've been the birth of the worlds best drummer

One / two / one two three four!

Worlds joke, February 1st, 1234 AD must've been the birth of the worlds best drummer

What's the worlds longest sentence?

I do.

How tall is the worlds tallest midget?

6ft..


What's the worlds most forceful fig?

The Fig Newton.

What's the worlds strongest animal?

A 'buff'alo

Worlds joke, What's the worlds strongest animal?

What is the worlds wettest animal?

The reindeer

Shares of MRF limited, the worlds largest plastic producer, went up 4.6% today

On the news that Joan Rivers will be recycled

What do you call a scientist who studies ancient life on other worlds?

A P*alien*tologist.

Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia has the worlds lost car accidents, and is the only country in the world where women driving is illegal

You can explore worlds mmo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean worlds globe dad jokes. There are also worlds puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The Magic Watch

The worlds most sexy girl is sitting in a bar. A man walks up to the bar counter and looks at his fancy watch. The girl glances at it and says to the man:
"Is your date late?"
"No, you see, this is a magical watch. It tells me about my surroundings. Right now, for instance, it tells me that you have no panties on." The man responded.
"Well, then you watch is not so magical after all, because it's wrong." She said cleverly.
"Oh wait, it's an hour early."

Canada could have had the best of three worlds.

They could have had American technology, French cuisine, and British culture.

Instead they have French technology, British cuisine, and American culture.

The worlds best ninjas comes from Iceland

Anyone actually seen an Icelandic ninja?

What did Trump say to the women who told him she could give him the worlds best Blow Job.

What's in it for me?

Why is Alabama the worlds biggest sandwich?

Because the whole state is inbred

Worlds joke, Why is Alabama the worlds biggest sandwich?

What is the worlds friendliest aircraft?

A hellocopter!

There is a new show about Conspiracy Nuts talking about the worlds fattest man having sex.

It's called "The Big Bang Theory."

A reporter is interveiwing the worlds oldest man.

She ask him "how have you manged to live so long?"

The man replies "it's simple, I never argue with people."

The reporter says "surely there's something more to it? Diet? Exercise? Something?"

The man thinks for a moment and then says "if you say so..."


A man meets a Genie and gets three wishes

However any of his wishes that are granted, also come true for all the politicians in the world times two.

**Genie:** What is your first wish?

**Man:** I want a million dollars.

**Genie:** You now have a million dollars and all the worlds politician now receive two million.

**Genie:** What is your second wish?

**Man:** I want a new Mercedes.

**Genie:** You now have a new Mercedes and all the worlds politician now receive two of them.

**Genie:** What is your third and final wish?

**Man:** I want to donate a kidney.

The worlds best chat-up line: "I like my women how I like my coffee...

Either cheap and bitter or ground up and in the freezer."

Did you hear about the worlds largest broom?

It's really sweeping the nation

An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds.

A pessimist fears that this is true.

A math teacher invented something.

A math teacher invented the worlds first underwater bulldozer.

He called it his 'Sub-tractor.'

Whats the worlds most useless job?

installing BMW turn signals.

A concert promoter was fired for claiming he had the worlds largest piano player booked when he was only 5' 8"...

Just another case of a man lying about the size of his pianist.

Who are the worlds fastest readers?

9/11 victims. They went through over 80 stories in 2 seconds

I was watching a tv show about the worlds best ceiling...

And I realised that mine wasn't the best, but it was definitely up there.

Tesla have announced they are going to build the worlds biggest battery.

Yet it still won't last a day on an iPhone

Who are the worlds fastest readers?

9/11 victims. They blew through 87 stories in 10 seconds

Mathematicians are trying to model dolphin migrations through the worlds oceans.

It's not perfect, but it's good for most porpoises.

What's the worlds manliest job?

A male man

What does Hitler name his Minecraft worlds?

Mein Kraft

Sleep joke

Why be an early bird or night owl when you can just be an insomniac and get the best of both worlds.

An optimist and pessimist are arguing about philosophy.

The optimist declares, This is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist sighs and says, You're right.

9 out of 10 of the worlds tallest buildings are being constructed in asia

They must be compensating for something

Plane Joke

There was a plane about to go down. The people who were on there were: Trump, The Pope, The Pilot, and 3rd grader. There are three parachutes. The Pope grabs a parachute and says; "I am more important" Then bails. Trump grabs a parachute and says "I am the worlds smartest man. I can't die" Then bails. The Pilot looks at the kid and said here have my Parachute, the kid responded No need to, the "worlds smartest man" grabbed my backpack.

Yo mama so easy

That in the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics, I've slept with her in every universe.

Who are some of the worlds best readers?

9/11 victims, 15 stories in 10 seconds.

A friend and I just rolled the worlds biggest spliff

It was a joint effort.

I just got told I was the Worlds Most Pessimistic Person

I doubt I'll manage to win that title.

Did you know that America holds the record for the worlds largest cup of tea?

Its about the size of the Boston harbor.

What did the worlds best public speaker get when she gave a riveting speech while on her period?

A standing ovulation.

Sherlock bones the worlds greatest doggy detective has solved yet another mystery with the help of his partner Dr.Dogson, but how did they do it?

Smellementary.

I got what I think is the worlds worst thesaurus,

Not only is it awful, it's awful.

I heard that the cat with the worlds longest tail is 7 feet...

But I think that's just a tall tail.

There was a competition and the winner got the worlds best cuts of meat

All you had to do was jump up and grab one of the ribeyes they had dangling ten feet off the ground. If you missed you had to be a vegetarian for the rest of your life.

I didn't do it though I couldn't handle the pressure,
The steaks were too high.

How tall is the worlds tallest amputee?

About a foot shorter than the tallest man.

If we isolated all the worlds criminals on an island for a hundred years what would they say if we met them again

G'day mate

The scariest thought of a pessimist

Optimists think that we live in the best of all worlds.

That's just what pessimists are so scared about.

I have invented the worlds fastest scale

I'm gonna name it instagram

She wasn't the worlds greatest mother but at least she never negligee'd me.

Oh sorry Freudian slip.

One second I'm at the bottom of the worlds fastest escalator, the next, I'm at the top

Gee, that escalated quickly

I put two globes between my wife and I. "Why have you done that?" she asked.

I said, "We're worlds apart, honey."

I'm always confused when it comes to drawing contests

I mean sometimes they use pens, sometimes they use guns....

I use the best of both worlds : puns

Shakespeare once said "the entire worlds a stage",

His theatre in London is literally called "the globe".

The worlds two largest manufacturers of broth seasoning cubes are merging.

It was a multi-bouillon dollar deal.

I breed some of the worlds best thoroughbred race horses

They are absolutely outstanding in their field

When I went to Poland I saw the greatest dancing group in the country

When my wife asked what I did there I told her I saw the worlds best pole dancers!

What's the worlds fastest sport?

Quicket of course

Why was the worlds greatest painter's wardrobe so small?

He only ever needed one coat.

So now that Kim Jong Uns sister is going to rule North Korea

Is she the worlds first vagtator?

Conjoined twins are like Hannah Montana

They get the best of both worlds

More people would read books if publishers just added the phrase "In My Pants" to the end of every title.

War of the Worlds in My Pants

The Two Towers in My Pants

Great Expectations in My Pants

To Kill a Mockingbird in My Pants

Rising Strong in My Pants

This news just in: The worlds tallest man has lost a fight with a storm.

In my opinion he shouldn't have let the lightning strike first.

A horse walks into a bar.

This makes it lose the Worlds Dressage Championship.

I was watching a documentary on Chinese engineering.

They were discussing the Three Gorges Dam on the Yangtze River, the worlds largest hydroelectric dam.

My wife walks in and asks, Is that the Hoover Dam?

Me: No, it's the Three Gorges Dam in China.

Her: Oh, I guess all dams just look alike.

Me: Honey, don't be a dam racist!

I own the worlds worst thesaurus

Not only is it awful, but it's also awful.

An alien drops by the White House and exclaims: "take me to your leader". The alien is introduced to Donald Trump, who ushers it into the oval office to chat. 30 seconds later, the alien exits the room and walks back towards his ship.....

"Where are you going?! Our worlds have so much to discuss and learn from one another!" calls a Senator.
"You are right!" responds the alien.
"See you on Thursday!"

In continuing attempts to reduce the worlds CO2 emissions, top scientists have found a way to make cars run on Parsley...

A spokesperson for the group has stated that they are now doubling their efforts to make trains run on Thyme.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the worlds first world problems jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working worlds world funniest piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes