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World War 2 Jokes

69 world war 2 jokes and hilarious world war 2 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about world war 2 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest World War 2 Short Jokes

Short world war 2 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The world war 2 humour may include short world war two jokes also.

  1. My grandfather killed 30 german planes during World War 2 He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
  2. After World War 2, France seriously considered changing its name. Unfortunately Iran was already taken.
  3. Why were the wives of World War 2 soldiers happy to see them? Because the wives wanted to have their own D-day.
  4. Polio is a lot like how Japan was in World War 2. Two drops and you'll be able to get rid of it.
  5. I'm gonna make a movie about a man with a speech impediment during world War 2 I'm gonna call it Schindler's Lisp
  6. Why did we use guns in world war 2 against the Germans? We could've used Frebreze, it kills 99.99% of germs anyways.
  7. 2018 is the Year of the sequel. Deadpool 2, Avengers Infinity war 3, Incredibles 2, World War 3.
  8. I asked a German if he lost something... "No" he answered.
    I replied: "What about those 2 world wars?"
  9. Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize and we stay at War for 2 terms... Trump pulls troops out... world thinks he was blackmailed.
    Is this really the world we live in now?
  10. TIL that Britain was merciless in World War 2 It seemed pretty obvious afterwards. After all, their leader was already Winston.

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World War 2 One Liners

Which world war 2 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with world war 2? I can suggest the ones about world war ii and war ii.

  1. How do you say "whoops" in German? World War 2
  2. What was the most popular German coffee product during World War 2? Cream Mate
  3. Where was the highest concentration of Jews after world war 2? The atmosphere
  4. Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945.
    World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945.
    What a coincidence.
  5. What was Minecraft called during world war 2?
  6. How long was the grass in world war 2? About Nein inches
  7. What do you call the period after World War 2? Rejuvenation
  8. Why did russia win in World War 2? Because Stalin was stallin'
  9. My Grandfather died during World War 2. Horrible skiing accident.
  10. What did the Germans play in world war 2? Naht-zee
  11. What was the highest cost of World War 2? The Holocaust.
  12. what is the most common place to find a Jew after world war 2 The grave
  13. Poland started World War 2 like Iraq was responsible for 9/11
  14. You know what else has a 2-0 score between the USA and Germany? The world wars
  15. The USA just beat Germany 2-0 Just like the score for the World Wars.

Howlingly Hilarious World War 2 Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about world war 2 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean world war one jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make world war 2 pranks.

In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.

British ship

So a British boat is sunk by a U-boat during world war 2
the British in distress send out the message- Help! Help! we are sinking!
the German U-boat picks up the message and says- What are you sinking about?

During World War 2, n**... invade a convent.

They yelled: " We are going to r**... every nun in this convent!" Mother Superior pleaded with the n**...: " You can r**... us all you want, but at the end of the hallway there is a room with a 100 year old nun in it. She is very sick and doesn't have long. Please leave her be."
All of a sudden the door at the end of the hall opens, and the old nun steps out yelling: "THE WAR IS ON FOR EVERYBODY!"

What was Hiroshima's code name in World War 2?

Target Practice.

How were the Jews captured during World War 2?

They could not resist a h**...-low-cost.

After World War 2, birth rates and the l**... among Japanese males was at an all-time low. Why?

They lost their tojo.

Why did all the 11th graders die during World War 2?

Cuz h**... killed all the Jewniors

Do you know why Adolf h**... didn't win World War 2?

Because he didn't do it the *r**...* way

Why did the Japanese lose World War 2?

Because they all had c**... in their armor

It was 109 degrees where I live today.

Now I know what it felt like to be a Jew during World War 2.

Two friends are having a conversation about World War 2

The holocaust wasn't that bad.
Of course it was!
I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown.
Why the clown?
See, no one cares about the Jews.

Roses are red, Violets are blue

h**... blew an 11 country lead during World War 2

World War 2 fans have their own set of complaints....

"I can't believe h**... blew an 11 country lead!"

Zwei Gin Bitte!

During World War 2, two German spies recieved an intensive training in English so they could do their job in London without causing suspicion.
To test their knowledge they enter a pub.
Spies: "Two gins, please!"
Bartender: "Dry?"
Spies (confused): "Nein, zwei!!

World war 2 actually started when h**... asked what do I do with all the juice.

It was from concentrate. It was to be enjoyed at camps.

My grandfather was a World War 2 Vet

In a single day during the Battle of Britain he was responsible for the destruction of 8 German aircraft killing 32 German airmen.
Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe had ever had.

After the World War 2

Finnish general Adolf Ehrnrooth was visiting England. British general asked him how many Russian troops were stationed in Finland. "A few hundred thousand" answered Ehrnrooth. "Where in Finland are they stationed?" The British general asked. Ehrnrooth answered: "Two meters underground around the border."

Studying engineering in school is like World War 2.

The objective is clear, there's an obvious enemy, and everyone is fighting for the same cause.
Interviewing to get an engineering job is like Vietnam. Everybody tells you a different objective, you're not properly equipped for the environment, and the Asians are always one step ahead.

There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions

What happened on June 6, 1944?
We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!
What was the turning point of world war 2?
Battle of the bulge, sir!
What's is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought I don't know, sir!
The superior then said Well, I'll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.

What side did h**... take once the n**... lost World War 2?

s**....

Why did the Soviets wait so long to fight the n**... in World War 2?

Their leader was Stalin

What did h**... name the Gas planet he discovered during World War 2.

Jewpiter

World War 2

Man: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done?"
Man: I harbored Jewish people in my basement to keep them safe from the Germans."
Priest: "That's not a sin. That's a good deed."
Man: "But I have been charging them one dollar a night until the war is over."
Priest: "That's perfectly okay."
Man: "I haven't told them the war is over."

A Jewish and a Chinese Guy.

Once two dudes, a Jewish and a Chinese were talking.
J: You evil Japanese started World War 2 by b**... Pearl Harbour.
C: I'm Chinese, not Japanese.
J: But you all look the same.
C: Well you sunk the Titanic.
J: That was an iceberg.
C: Iceberg, Goldberg, Bloomberg, its all the same to me.

That World War 2 movie Overlord is so far fetched.

A black soldier in the same platoon as white soldiers!

My grandpa downed 21 planes during World War 2

He was, undoubtedly, the worst mechanic in the history of Luftwaffe

After Peter Jackson's successful launch of World War 1 documentary They Will Not Grow, George Lucas has announced he is making a documentary of World War 2 with remastered footage.

Spoiler: France invades first.

A World War 2 joke

Stalin and h**... died and were recieved in h**... by Satan.
Satan asked them to wait in the guest cabin, because he had to search for the worst place in h**... for both of them (it had been a long time since some one so evil had come to his abode) .
While waiting, h**... got bored and asked Stalin to tell him a joke.
Stalin said one word, "Moscow."
h**..., after a long and hard thought, replied, "I don't get it."
Stalin laughs merrily and says, "Exactly."

World War 2 joke

Sometime around 1943, when the Germans were losing the war, h**... decided to boost his army's morale by visiting the front.
While there, he had the oppurtunity to interact with a soldier. He commented, "My brave young man, you are risking your life for the country by standing in the way of the artillery fire. You are sure to die. Would you like me to grant you a final wish?"
"Yes, my Fuhrer ", the soldier repiled. "What is it, brave one?"
"That I have the honor of dying with you!"
>!Dont laugh too hard. 200 German soldiers were executed for hearing this and laughing at it.!<

jokes about world war 2