The Best 74 World Jokes

Following is our collection of funny World jokes. There are some world conquer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these world world greatest puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest World Jokes and Puns

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media.

When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.

The man says back, "That's terrible, but couldn't you get another close family member to come with you?

The guy says, "No. They're all at the funeral."

An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"

"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff.
The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."

jokes about world

My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat!

In the end, he came around.


A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank,

Give a man a bank and he'll rob the world.

World joke, Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank,

How does a Flat Earther travel the world?

on a plane

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.

(

Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now.

And there's notre dame thing they can do about it.

I have two conditions in my will...

1) I want my remains spread around Disney World

2) I do not want to be cremated

You can explore world universe reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean world nation dad jokes. There are also world puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I told my son, You will marry the girl I choose.


He said, NO!

I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.

He said, OK.

I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.

Bill Gates said, NO.

I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.

Bill Gates said, OK.

I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.

He said, NO.

I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.

He said, OK.

This is how politics works.

One day, Canada will become a superpower and take over the whole world

Then you'll all be sorry

My wife texted "I'm leaving you"

And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."

I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."

I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a hand job"

A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building."

George W. Bush is sitting with his aides...

and he is getting debriefed on the world news of the day. The news is rather mundane and unexciting, but one of his aides states that 3 Brazilian people perished in a plane crash early this morning.

Dubya's reaction is pure shock and grief, he's shaking and can't control his emotions.

Tearfully looking over to the man who broke the news, he asks him, "How many is a Brazilian?"

After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.

According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

World joke, After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

What did the gamer say when his girlfriend asked what World of Warcraft and League of Legends were?

"Wow, lol"

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II.

I mean, there were red flags everywhere.


With all the negativity in the world today...

...at least Charlie Sheen is staying positive.

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them

I'm never going bungee jumping.

I came into this world due to broken rubber, I'll be damned if I leave because of it.

**

The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."

Stupid auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".

Im sick and tired of people calling America the stupidest country in the world

Personally I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world

Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person.

I was also fired from my job as a bus driver, no justice for the kind hearted in this world.

The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's gas tank and tires...

She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!"

I responded, "Inflation."

World joke, The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's

In a world without Muslims, there wouldn't be a 911.

We'd have to say CMXI instead.

One day Canada will rule the world

Then you'll all be sorry

Why is Japan the healthiest country in the world?

Because last time they had a fat man 80,000 people died


Studying engineering in school is like World War 2.

The objective is clear, there's an obvious enemy, and everyone is fighting for the same cause.

Interviewing to get an engineering job is like Vietnam. Everybody tells you a different objective, you're not properly equipped for the environment, and the Asians are always one step ahead.

What does every women in the world want?

Nothing, they're fine.

What would happen if two African countries get in a war?

A 3rd World War.

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons.

If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.

The whole world should be worried that North Korea has a missile that can hit New York...

... because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.


Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion.

I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.

God was creating all the countries and it was Canada's turn

He turned to his angels and said "this country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world"

The angels ask God, "aren't you blessing this country a little TOO much?" and God replies, "wait till you see who their neighbour is"

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested

I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language.

My grandfather killed 30 german planes during World War 2

He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

A man was very sick. Doctors feared the worst. He is at home one day, resting in his bed. He looks up and says, "Is my wife here?" His wife replies, "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you." The man goes, "Are my children here?" "Yes, Daddy, we are all here," say the children.

"Are my other relatives also here?"

And they say, "Yes, we are all here..."

The man sits up and says,
"Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?"

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They will never allow change, even if it makes the world a brighter place.

How many Karens did it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

She just holds the lightbulb in the socket and expects the rest of the world to revolve around her.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

A couple of Italian guys are discussing who, if they could choose any woman in the world, they'd rather bang

One of them says some big name actress, the other says "Virginia Pippilini."

The first guy's like, "Who's that? Is she a model?"

"I don't know"

"Actress?"

"I don't know."

"Singer?"

"I don't know."

"Well if you don't know, why choose her?"

The guy pulls out a newspaper and points to the headline. "Virginia Pipeline blows 50 men dead."

Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes

Me: I wish for a world without lawyers

Genie: Done, you have no more wishes

Me: But you said 3

Genie: Sue me.

I'm pleased to announce Reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world!

The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world.

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

China should have a cricket team.

They can take out the whole world with one bat

Your mom is so ugly...

That the world faked a pandemic just so she has to wear a mask

How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one.All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves aroudn him.

Having invented a time machine I'm going to do the art world a favor

I'm going to make sure Adolf Hitler never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.

A Husband and Wife at Custody court

The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.


Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child?


Ex wife: I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him


Judge: that is a simple yet good reason.


Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.


Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?


The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence. He replies


Ex Husband: if I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?

Two men are playing golf when one realises he's left his jacket at the last tee

He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back.
"What's up?" asks his mate.
"Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress."
His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you."
He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."

For Christmas, I bought my wife a world map and gave her a dart. I told her to throw it and wherever it lands, we will go on vacation after this pandemic is over.

Turns out we are spending two weeks behind the fridge.

How many Karens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, She just stands there holding it while the world revolves around her.

Then Ok!

Dad: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."

Son: "No."

Dad: "The girl is Bill Gate's daughter."

Son: "Then Ok!" \*\*

\*\* Dad goes to Bill Gates. \*\*

Dad: "I want your daughter to marry my son."

Bill Gates: "No."

Dad: "My son is the CEO of the World Bank."

Bill Gates: "Then ok!"

\*\*Dad goes to the President of the World Bank. \*\*

Dad: "Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank."

President: "No!"

Dad: "He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates."

President: "Then OK."

Two men are playing golf when one realizes he's left his jacket at the last tee

He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back.
"What's up?" asks his mate.
"Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress."
His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you."
He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."

Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.

They find three parachutes.

Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!

Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane. 

At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. 

The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.  

Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.

what do you call a security guard at a Samsung store

"A guardian of the galaxys"

my 11yo told me this one yesterday, and i thought it needed to be shared with the world 🤣

A man asked a widow if he could say a word at her husbands funeral. She said "Certainly."

He stood up and said "Plethora" , and the woman said "Thanks, that means a lot."

And another man stood up and said, "Bargain" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means a great deal." 

Yet another stood up and said, "Earth" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means the world."

Yet another stood up and said, "Infinity" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means more than you can imagine."

Yet another stood up and said, "Being Alive" and the woman said, "Thanks, my husband would have loved that."

Another person simply held up a sprig of mentha spicata, and the widow said, "Thanks, that's a lovely scent of mint."

My favorite thing about Vladimir Putin...

... is that he has managed to take Russia's military from being the second most powerful in the world *allllllll* the way to being the second most powerful in Ukraine.

Russian army was thought to be the second best army in the world...

... It turns out it's only the second best army in Ukraine.

You're offered $50,000, but if you accept it the person you hate the most in the entire world will get $100,000. You taking it?

Yes why wouldn't I want $150,000.

Let's discuss who the most hated world leader is as of now

I think Putin just Trump-ed all of his competitors

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by their government and the media.

But I know that can't possibly be true. Because every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

A guy sees a lamp, rubs it, and a Genie comes out. The genie is so happy that he decides to grant one wish. The guy thinks about it and says "I want to be a powerful man in the world, and have a beautiful wife"

The next morning the guy awake in a unfamiliar room, and a beautiful woman said to him

"Wake up John, it's a busy day, we have a car tour in Dallas"

All world leaders should be women!

Instead of going to war, they would just stop talking to each other.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure.

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant;

in India they didn't know what 'honest' meant;

in Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant;

in China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant;

in the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant;

in South America they didn't know what 'please' meant;

in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.

you ever hear about Darth Vader's other daughter, Ella Vader?

She's really going up in the world.

Best Of Both Worlds

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

How does a narcissist change a lightbulb?

They hold on to it and wait for the world to revolve around them.

How does a narcissist travel around the world?

They don't. The world revolves around them.

There's two types of people in the world

Those who proofread their posts, and those who do

My neighbor is a 90 year old with Alzheimer's, I see him every morning and he asks me If I've seen his wife. Every day I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question.

But the look of joy in his eyes when I tell him this is worth a world.

OG: Anthony Jeselnik

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the world first world problems jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working world world funniest piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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