World History Jokes
24 world history jokes and hilarious world history puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about world history that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest World History Short Jokes
Short world history jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The world history humour may include short american history jokes also.
- ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
- Does the International House of Pancakes answer to the United Nations or is it the other way around? Serious answers only. I'm studying for my AP World History final.
- Donald Trump is the only person in the world who achieved this and made a history. He won an argument against a woman
- The world was a dust cloud, then it solidified, and some fish evolved into a human And the rest was history
- I have my world history final today. Which makes sense, considering it's also the final day of world history.
- Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series... I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.
- I got my history and book reports confused. No wonder why teachers wanted to know why it was titiled "King leopold II: Destroyer of 3rd world"
- Who were the fastest readers in human history? Whoever jumped from the top floor of the World Trade Center, they went through 104 stories in under 10 seconds.
- My grandpa downed 21 planes during World War 2 He was, undoubtedly, the worst mechanic in the history of Luftwaffe
- Worst events in world history * 1. Zayn Malik leaving One Direction.
* 2. armenian Genocide.
* 17. Holocaust.
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World History One Liners
Which world history one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with world history? I can suggest the ones about history subject and history class.
- Q: What was the world's first palindrome?
A: Madam, I'm Adam. - What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called? c**....
Cheerful Fun World History Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about world history you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean history jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make world history pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
r**... Logic Joke
Two r**..., Hunter and c**... decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the c**... asked.
The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a w**... eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.
"That's real good!" said c**....
The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, c**... said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
c**... was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
c**..., proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied c**....
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a w**... eater?" asked c**....
"No," Hunter replied.
"Then you're gay."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An attractive woman was reading The History of p**... on the bus the other day...
... I struck up a conversations opening with "That seems interesting"
She responds: "It really is! Did you know that Native Americans have the longest p**... in the world? And Poles the girthiest!"
She extends her hand, I grab it and say... "Tonto Polanski, pleasure to meet you"
the most famous person in the history of the world
The teacher addressed his class,"I'll give five dollars to anybody who can name the most famous person in the history of the world."
An Irish boy raised his hand and said,"St. Patrick."
"Sorry Seamus, that's not correct."
Then a French boy raised his hand and said,"Napoleon."
The teacher replied,"I'm sorry, Jean, that's not right either."
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and answered,"Jesus Christ."
"That's right, David! You win the five dollars. Congratulations!" As the teacher was handing over the cash he said,"You know David, I'm surprised you said Jesus Christ."
"Yeah, in my heart I knew it was Moses. But business is business."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The world's oldest recorded joke in history.
I'm a long-time fan of this sub-reddit and frequent up-voter, but I seldomly have anything funny to post, so here is the oldest joke in recorded history, dating back to 1900 BC (almost 4 thousand years ago from ancient Sumeria):
Q: What is something that has never before occurred since time immemorial?
A: A woman not f**... in her husband's lap.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apparently n**... have a skewed knowledge of world history
Ask any of them how ww2 went and they say it was all r**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who is the world history's worst hairdresser?
Delilah. She cut Samson 's hair and lose his super human strength.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chris Pratt voting joke
Just ask any celebrity. They will tell you. Every day. Several times a day. To vote. But me? I will tell you EXACTLY who to vote for !
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A plane is about to c**..., there are 4 passengers and only 3 parachutes...
The first passenger, Steph Curry, says "I am the best player in the NBA! The Warriors and my fans need me!" and jumps out with the first pack.
The second passenger, Donald Trump, says "I am the most respected and intelligent US president in history! My country needs me!" and jumps out with the second pack.
The third passenger, the Pope, turns to the fourth passenger, a little boy, and says "My son, I don't have many years left in this world, but you have so many years ahead of you. You can take the last parachute." Then the little boy replies "It's ok your Holiness there's still a parachute left for you, Mr. Trump took my backpack."
Roses are red, violets are blue...
Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world.
That's why he passed Obamacare and the stimulus and Dodd-Frank and the deal with Iran. It is a systematic effort to change America. When I'm president of the United States, we are going to re-embrace all the things that made America the greatest nation in the world and we are going to leave our children with what they deserve: the single greatest nation in the history of the world.
World's Funniest Joke
The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.
The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject.
The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan,was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester:
*Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"*