World Fastest Jokes
77 world fastest jokes and hilarious world fastest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about world fastest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest World Fastest Short Jokes
Short world fastest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The world fastest humour may include short world shortest jokes also.
- Why does Ireland have the fastest growing economy in the world? Because its capital is Dublin all the time!
- What country's Capital has the fastest growing population in the world? Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.
- Who were the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. Went through 87 stories in 10 seconds flat.
- Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims because they went through 104 stories in just a few seconds
- Who are the world's fastest readers? The 911 victims. They went through 50 stories in a minute.
I'm so sorry - Who are the worlds fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They blew through 87 stories in 10 seconds
- I realized why Scandanavians are the fastest runners in the world... ...all their races start near the Finnish line.
- Did you guys hear that Ireland has the fastest growing economy in the world? Yeah, their capital is always Dublin
- Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
- What's the fastest animal in the world? The Spanish government worker. The job ends at 3 and he's home by 2.
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World Fastest One Liners
Which world fastest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with world fastest? I can suggest the ones about faster speed and fast car.
- What is the fastest animal in the world? A chicken in a Somalian village
- What's the fastest thing in the world I'm not sure. I couldn't see it.
- What's the worlds fastest sport? Quicket of course
- What's the fastest drink in the world ? Sonic the eggnog.
- What's the fastest cake in the world? ...scone...
- What do you say if you lost the world's fastest runner? U-seen-bolt?
- What's the fastest charging battery in the world? Usain Volt
- Who's the fastest tailor in the world? Sonic the Swift Taylor
- Have you heard about the world's fastest Mohel? They say he's a rip-off artist
- I have invented the worlds fastest scale I'm gonna name it instagram
- Who's the fastest shoemaker in the world? Michael Shoemaker.
- Apparently the world's fastest vinyl turntable has been built. It's a record breaker
- There's a common misconception about the fastest animal in the world t's a cheater
- The world's fastest man starts speaking jibberish. I ask... "What Usain, Bolt?"
- Who are the world's fastest readers? 911 jumpers, they go 20 stories a second.
World Fastest Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about world fastest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean faster than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make world fastest pranks.
What's the fastest thing in the world?
A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve.
What's the second fastest thing in the world?
The Indians running after it.
The fastest dialog in the world:
(WC door is opening)
Man inside: Heyyy!
Man outside: Sorryyy!
What are the fastest hands in the world?
...when it slips out.
What's the fastest game in the world?
Pass the Parcel in a Belfast Pub.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
usain bolt
usain bolt, the fastest man in the world, can run almost 30mph. that means if were to run in a neighborhood, he could get pulled over by the cops...for being black.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bear is chasing a rabbit in the woods...
The happen upon a stream where a frog yells at them,
"I'm a magical frog. I'll grant each of you 3 wishes since your the first to grace me with your presence on over a hundred years"
"ok but i go first," says the bear. "I wish every bear in this forest, except for me, were female!" And p**...! All the bears are female.
"Ok ok my turn, I wish for a helmet!" Says the rabbit.
p**...! A helmet appears in his hands.
"you're an idiot rabbit. Such a waste of a wish... I wish all the bears in the next forest over were female!"
p**...! His wish is granted.
"i wish for the worlds fastest dirt bike." Says rabbit.
p**...! His wish is granted.
"For my final wish, i wish all the bears in the world, except for me, are female!"
p**...!
Rabbit gets on his new dirtbike and revs the engine a few times before saying, "Frog, for my final wish." He paused to rev his engine one more time. "I WISH BEAR WAS GAY!" and he took of into the woods.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Finally, he had made the perfect AI, a superhuman intelligence, waiting for his orders ...
Finally, he had made the perfect AI, a superhuman intelligence, waiting for his order. It would do whatever he told it to do, and it would do so in the most effective, fastest and cheapest way possible. So he thought, and thought and finally said to the robot, "Robot, I don't want to see any suffering in this world, ever."
Promptly, the robot grabbed the nearby icepick and t**... it in his eyes.
Do you know who are the fastest readers in the world?
9-11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Science has proven yet again that cows, at a whopping 120mph, are the fastest animal in the world
When dropped from a helicopter.
Who is fastest girl in the world?
Answer: Airtel 4G girl.
There was a runner...
He was the fastest man in the world, and promised to all the chefs in the world that if they could bring him his favorite kind of hot dog while he was on his daily jog, then he would give them free running lessons.
Hundreds of chefs attempted to give him the best recipe after catching him, yet they all failed.
Finally, a humble chef from New York decided to try out. He made his hot dog for this runner and caught up to him.
As soon as the runner took a bite, he was amazed. It WAS the best dog he'd ever eaten. He then asked the chef how he knew the recipe and was able to catch up to him.
The chef was surprised, thinking it was obvious and responded, "Well, I just took my thyme and mustard the energy to ketchup!"
The world's fastest boxer invited anyone to try to avoid his fists...
There was no punchline.
Did you know the fastest car in the world is the Fagioli?
Because nobody can Pasta Fagioli
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
New Yorkers,some of them go through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
What is the fastest mineral in the world?
The malacheetah.
What's the second fastest cake in the world?
MEEEEEEERRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNGGGGUUUUEEEEE!
Who's the fastest cyclist in the world?
Chris Vroom
What's the fastest bird in the world?
The Somali chicken! *bud um, tish*
Who has the fastest brain in the world?
Steven Hawking with a brake failure!
Who were the fastest readers in human history?
Whoever jumped from the top floor of the World Trade Center, they went through 104 stories in under 10 seconds.
Who are the worlds fastest readers?
9/11 victims. They went through over 80 stories in 2 seconds
What's the world's fastest animal?
A fish-ant.
I asked my mom who the fastest person in the world was.
She said, Your father, when I told him I was pregnant.
Soviet clock:
the fastest clock in the world.
Ad: $10 to see the worlds fastest deer
Pffft someone's just trying to make a quick buck
What state has the fastest readers?
New York, they set the world record for fast reading in 2001 for going through 110 stories in about 10 seconds.
Do you want to see the fastest trick in the world?
Do you want to see it again?
My dad was the world's fastest reader
He was in 9/11, went through 86 stories in 7 seconds!
One second I'm at the bottom of the worlds fastest escalator, the next, I'm at the top
Gee, that escalated quickly
Do you all have time for a the joke about the world's fastest cruise ship?
Don't worry, it's a quick one liner.
The big race
It was the day of the big race. Usain Bolt was going to run against a cheetah, the world's fastest animal, capable of reaching speeds of up to 70 mph!
People knew Usain didn't stand a chance, but watched anyway. At last, they were off, and in a matter of seconds the race was over - amazingly, Usain Bolt came out victorious!!!
Because...cheetah's never win.
Rodger is talking with his two friends and asks what they think is the fastest thing in the world
The first man says The fastest thing in the world is a thought
The second man says I think the fastest thing in the world is light
Roger thinks for a second and says diarrhea is definitely the fastest thing in the world
Confused, Rogers two friends as him how could diarrhea be the fastest thing in the world
Roger replies well, the other day I woke up and before I could think or turn on the lights it happened!
Three men are discussing what they think is the fastest thing in the world
The first man says The fastest thing in the world is a thought... I think something and pops into my head
The second man says The fastest thing in the world is light... I turn on the light switch and the room lights up instantly
The third man thinks for a second and says you are both wrong... it's actually Diarrhoea
Confused, The two friends as him how could diarrhoea be the fastest thing in the world?
The third man replies well, the other day when I woke up, before I could even think or turn on the light, it was already too late!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A few guys were sitting around arguing about what the fastest thing in the world is
The first guy says, I think it's a thought because you just think and it's right there
The second guy says, I think it's blinking because you hardly notice it's happening before it's over
The third man says, I think it's light. When you flip a light switch the lights immediately turn on
Finally, the last guy says, No, no, no you're all wrong. The fastest thing in the world is diarrhea!
What? How's that? Everyone asks
He replies, Well, before I could think, blink, or turn on a light, I s**... my pants
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
1st grade teacher asked the students: What is the fastest thing in the world? Tony replied: lightning. Melanie said: light Jimmy said:
Diahrrea.
The teacher asked Jimmy why He tought diahrrea was the fastest thing in the world?
Jimmy said:
Last night while sleeping I felt the urge to go to the bathroom, I got up as fast as a lightning went to turn the light on and before the light was on I had already s**... myself.
After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to use the rest room.
Since he didn't want anyone to take his shake, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, "The world's strongest weight lifter," and left it under his glass.
When he returned from making his pit stop, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with a note that said
"Thanks for the treat!" It was signed, "The world's fastest runner."
Dmitri asked Boris:
"Is it true that American airplanes are the fastest in the world?"
"Sadly, yes. But, on the other hand, Russian watches are the fastest in the world."