The Best 35 World Cup Jokes

Following is our collection of funny World Cup jokes. There are some world cup confederations jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these world cup cups puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest World Cup Jokes and Puns

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.

The man says back, "That's terrible, but couldn't you get another close family member to come with you?

The guy says, "No. They're all at the funeral."

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.

According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet"

It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!

(England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)

jokes about world cup

An Englishman walks into a bar...

There's usually a Scotsman, Irishman and Welshman too, but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.


China should never take part in the Cricket World Cup

They can screw over any country with just a bat

A man is watching a world cup final in a sold out stadium

He notices an empty seat just in front of his and says to the guy sitting next to it, "Hey man, how come this seat here's empty? Tickets for this game havee been sold out for months!"

"Well, the seat was meant for my wife, but sadly, she passed away"

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. But couldn't you get a friend or relative to come along instead?"

"Nah, they're all at the funeral."

My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."

Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.

Germany's failure in the World Cup wasn't that surprising

They have always struggled to progress in Russia.

After someone pointed it out to her, my mother asked me to explain the difference between the District of Columbia and the country Colombia.

So explained to her that one of them is famous for it's drugs, corruption and blatant criminal activity, while the other historicly lost to England on penalties in this years world cup.

Let's face it...

That's not the first time Germany has gone into Russia unprepared...

You can explore world cup unbeaten reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean world cup worlds dad jokes. There are also world cup puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do India never qualify for the world cup?

Because whenever they get a corner they open a shop.

What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?

The referee

Sex with my wife is like the England World Cup squad

neither of us know why we're there or what we're doing, there's little passion or communication and we rarely even make it past the first stage.
It's often accompanied by lots of unnecessary noise, horrible dribbling and never a clean sheet.
It's always over far too quickly and when it does end we know it'll be at least another 4 years before it happens again.

Comedian Lee Nelson threw money at Sepp Blatter at a FIFA conference as a protest.

It backfired as he now has to host the 2026 World Cup in his back garden.

What do you call an English man at a world cup final?

A referee.

FIFA World Cup 2018

A frenchman alks down the street, where he bumps into an Englishman

The Frenchman asks: How are you, what are you up to?"

Englishman: " Ah, nothing much, playing the Croatians in the World Cup tomorrow!"

Frenchman: "What a coincidence...?! We're playing them on Sunday!"

I don't watch World Cup soccer.

If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar.

Empty seat at the world cup

Its the world cup final and a man sits down and realizes that the seat next to him is empty. He turns to the guy the other side of the seat and asks. "is the person sitting here with you?"

The man cheerlessly replies, "it was my wife's seat, but she sadly passed away"

"how awful, do you not have any family or friends you could have given the ticket to?"

"well no, they're all at the funeral"


What's the difference between the Tham Luang cave boys and the FIFA World Cup?

The boys are coming home.

A World War II Pun

A German child was playing outside. Eventully, he was so exhausted that he went inside and asked his mother for a drink. She brings him a cup of water. After a sip, he asks "Mother, why can't I have something sweeter?" She replies, "I couldn't give you anything else because our FΓΌhrer does not want us to have juice in our house."

I bought a ticket to world cup finals without realizing it's also my wedding day! Does anyone want to go in my place?

The church is St Antony's and the brides' name is Joanna..

What would an English football fan do if England won the World Cup?

Stop playing FIFA and go to bed.

What Should You Do After Ireland Wins The World Cup

Turn off Fifa and go to bed

Germany sets a new record in the world cups.

They arrive in Moscow with ten thousand men. 40 km further than the old record in 1942.

Ghana has eliminated the U.S. from last two World Cups...

They're probably Ghana do it again.

Did you guys see the goal from half field today in the World Cup?

It was a great U.S. attack from Midway

Russia can still win the world cup

Putin just has to make quite a lot of progress quickly on the Western front.

Now that Brazil is out of the World Cup they should go help the Thai kids stuck in that cave...

After all they're the world's most talented divers.


A man takes his seat in the front row of the World Cup Final

He looks across and notices an empty seat between him and the next guy.

The man said, Who would ever want to miss the World Cup?
The other man replied, It's my wife's spot, we have gone to the past 4 World Cup finals together but she died recently
The man asked, I'm so sorry.. Where is the rest of your family?

They're at her funeral.

Picabo Street is a former World Cup alpine ski racer and model. When she was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004, her home town of Triumph, Idaho dedicated an entire wing of the local hospital to her.

It's called the Picabo ICU.

What do my bike and the world cup have in common?

Both were stolen from me by a group of Croatians.

Do you know what the last result of the World Cup was?

Spain - 8 Ethiopia - didn't

Pope Benedict and Pope Francis are about to watch the World Cup Final...

Francis says, "sorry, but I spoke to Jesus last night and he said he'd do all he can to help Argentina win." Benedict says, "that's too bad, I spoke to Satan and he said he'd do everything he can to help Germany win." The game starts, and Francis says, "is that referee Italian?" Benedict says, "Yep. Hail Satan."


Twilight is like the world cup.

They run around for a couple of hours, nobody scores, and millions of fans claim you don't understand.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the world cup country puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working world cup world piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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