Workout Jokes
89 workout jokes and hilarious workout puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about workout that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you work out to stay fit and healthy or to improve your Halloween costume? Either way, check out these hilarious workout jokes that are sure to get a laugh! From funny workout memes to silly weight gainz puns, you'll stay in shape and have a good time. Whether you're in the gym rocking some whey protein or at home in your favorite workout clothes, this collection of jokes is an essential for any excercise routine.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Workout Short Jokes
Short workout jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The workout humour may include short exercise jokes also.
- My first workout back at the gym was great. I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital.
- I tried to do an intense workout that involved 500 sit ups per day But my body couldn't take the ab use
- Day 1 at the gym and I already lost 3 pounds! Now it's time to get off the toilet and start my workout.
- How did the homeless man get so buff? Because his workouts were in tents.
I'll show myself out... - A tiger goes to the gym... ... wearing women's underwear underneath his workout clothes.
When he does squats does that make him a crouching tiger with hidden drag on? - Facebook and basic cable Reading Facebook feels like I'm watching basic cable in a hotel: All I want is Comedy Central, but all I can find is the Food Network, workout infomercials and Fox News.
- Why does higher workout frequency mean more injuries? Frequency is measured in hurts
- My family have been doing a collective workout challenge. It was tough at first, very intense. As of this weekend though I can say we've collectively lost 80kg....
...or, Grandad. - My favorite workout is a mix between a lunge and a crunch, I call it lunch.
- What's a mortician's favorite workout? Dead lifting.
Share These Workout Jokes With Friends
Workout One Liners
Which workout one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with workout? I can suggest the ones about getting fit and keep fit.
- I proposed to my girlfriend at the gym and she said "no." I guess it didn't workout.
- What do Chris Hemsworth and mike tyson have in common after a workout? They're both Thor.
- What is Jesus' favorite workout? Crossfitting
- What kind of workouts did Jesus do? Cross-fit
- What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts? Abstinence.
- What does Mike Tyson say after a good workout with the Avengers? I'm Thor.
- What's a snowman's favorite winter solstice workout? "Frost" squats!
- No one laughed at my pre-workout routine joke To be fair, it was a bit of a stretch.
- A man just proposed to a woman at a gym. She said no. Well that didn't workout...
- What dessert best describes your girlfriend after a workout? Sorbet
- If an apple exercises... Is it a core workout?
- What does the guy with epilepsy do after his workout? Has a shake.
- Why some couples don't go to gym? Because some relationship don't workout.
- What workout routine did Jesus stick to best? Crossfit
- I hate when people say yoga is a complete workout. It's a bit of a stretch.
Workout Clothes Jokes
Here is a list of funny workout clothes jokes and even better workout clothes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I can't stand to see my wife in her workout clothes in the gym, it's embarrassing. I have no way to hide my e**....
- I just put on my workout clothes on and I'm ready... ...to do laundry. At least I know she'll be wearing her s**... underwear.
Uplifting Workout Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about workout you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fitness jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make workout pranks.
What did Shiva say after his workout?
My four arms are sore.
What is Jesus' favorite workout?
Pontius Pilates
Bench Bros...
Two guys are in the gym working on their bench pressing when a b**... coed comes up to the rack next to them and begins to do her workout. o**... turns to his spotter and says "hey you think that's a push up bra?" And his spotter says "nah brah, that's a squat"
What did the velociraptor say after his workout?
I'm a little dino-sore.
What do Asgardians say when they have an intense workout at the gym?
I'm Thor
What does a Muslim bodybuilder drink after a workout?
A sheikh!
What does James Bond say after a heavy workout?
I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.
I workout religiously
About once or twice around the holidays
Two middle aged men went to the gym for a workout.
As they undressed beforehand, the first man was stunned to see the second wearing a corset beneath his shirt.
"Since when have you started wearing that?" asked the first man.
The second man replied "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment."
How did the T-Rex feel after his workout session?
He felt dinosore.
My sister while kneading dough:
"This hand workout dough!"
A couple wanted to reduce their weight.
I don't think their relationship will workout.
I met my ex-wife at the gym.
We didn't workout.
I was in the gym.
"1,2,3,4," counted my personal trainer, as I panted.
"Come on," he added, "Now we've got you down the stairs, we can do a workout!"
Today's workout was great.
I did 15 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes of defibrillator, and 3 days in the hospital.
Is milk the best workout supplement?
No, whey man!
(My first dad joke, im so proud!)
What do you call a Norse god after a workout?
Thor
I just got one of those workout watches
apparently i've m**... 5.8 miles today
My girlfriend likes to get pumped up before we do a workout.
Then I deflate her afterwards.
Why is it better to exercise in the morning?
You can finish the workout before your brain realizes what it's doing.
You're the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. I only go to work and become a better person because of you. You make me workout on weekends and get in shape. And I try to turn you on every night.
I love you, alarm clock.
How do hairstylists workout?
Curling irons
What is The Pope's favorite workout program?
Cross-fit
What did Loki get after a 1000 squat workout?
A Thor Asgard.
Why didn't the dyslexic bodybuilder workout when his stomach hurt?
He felt it was an Abd Omen
Math problems with typos are so unhealthy
They never workout
My warm-up is your workout!
But only because neither of us exercise.
I have too many jokes on fat people
I have too many jokes on fat people...
But they don't work-out.
New routine
Recently my mate started doing his morning workout on the 5:30 service from Norwich to London liverpool Street.
I asked him why.
He said, "no train, no gain".
I want an after workout snack but forgot to get more protein powder.
Oy whey
Last night at the gym a guy proposed and she said no.
It didn't workout.
What is Jesus's favorite workout?
Cross fit
Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris is finished with his workout routine at the gym, the gym needs a break.
My friend tried to convince me that yoga is a workout...
I told him it's a bit of a stretch
(Thought of this tonight during yoga)
I saw a guy at the gym propose to his girl and she said no.
That didn't workout.
What do you call an all female workout center?
An OB-GYM
Why didn't the T-Rex workout today?
He was dinosaur
If you do these things for 30 days you will be unrecognisable.
1. Sleep 8+ hours everyday.
2. Drink 3L of water minimum daily.
3. Get outside in the sun everyday.
4. No sugar.
5. Read for 30 mins each day.
6. Workout for 1hr 3 times a week
7. Capture someone and cut their face off then sew it onto your face.
8. Meditate for 10 mins everyday.
My personal trainer said she wanted me to do a push workout.
I've since been arrested for trying to pull her jogging bottoms down.
Whenever I see Instagram models working out, I am inspired to do my own workout.
Unfortunately, it's only for my left arm.
My friends always complain that I can eat so much and never gain weight. I've told them its because I workout like crazy but they say I'm lying. Well they're kinda right, but I dont lie....
IBS.
I TRIED Chris Hemsworth's workout regimen.
It works. I was really Thor for theveral days..
What happened to the couple who were going to get married in a gym?
It didn't workout
What is a necromancer's favorite workout?
Dead lifts
I don't have to get a job to live, I don't live in my parents house, I have s**... often, I read books and workout daily!
Can't wait to get out of jail
What's a necromancer's favorite workout?
A deadlift!
My girlfriend has always been a bit on the heavy side
One morning, while standing in front of the mirror together she asked me if she should change anything in her life. I said, go workout and lose 20-30 pounds, it would change you for the better. At that moment, the sheer passion I saw in her eyes I will never forget.
After the first day, I didn't see anything. To be expected of course, these things take time. Three days later, nothing. A week later, nothing. Two weeks later, and I finally started to see something. Thank god for that, I thought she knocked the light out of my eyes for good.
The workout
A triathlete walks into a bar to replenish some carbs after a hard workout and orders a beer. "I just got done doing a 10-mile open water swim," he brags to the bartender. "Ten miles, huh? That's impressive," the bartender replies. "I'd struggle to do that much on a bike." "Yeah, well bikes aren't that good in water," the athlete says.
What's a corpses favorite workout?
The deadlift
What is a weightlifter on a cut the day after an intense workout?
a sore loser
What's an obese person's favorite workout?
^forklifts ¨̮
