The Best 35 Working Mom Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Working Mom jokes. There are some working mom jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these working mom puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Working Mom Jokes and Puns

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women, I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said

"It didn't work out."

She told me to be more specific so I said

"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

A Blond goes to work in tears.

A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"

A little boy walks in on his parents having sex.

"Mommy, why are you on top of Daddy?" he says. The mom thinks fast and says "Well, your daddy has a big belly, so sometimes I get on top of him and try to flatten it out." The boy says "well that will never work." "Why?" says the mom. "Because when you go out shopping on Saturdays, the lady next door comes over and blows it right back up again."

NSFW When I was 17, my mom caught me masturbating

She sent me to my room and told me my dad would talk to me after work.

When my Dad came home he sat me down and said "Son, if you keep doing that, you'll go blind"

I said "I'm over here Dad"

My 5 year-old son caught me having sex with my wife.

He asked, "Dad, what are you doing with Mom?"

"I was just pushing the air out of her tummy." I replied.

"It's no use, I saw our neighbor blowing air between Mom's legs every morning after you leave for work."


Why did you ask?

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him: "Daddy, what is sex?" The Dad was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

The father asked her: "Why did you ask this question?"

The little girl replied,"Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."

My mom told me that I objectify women.

When she asked me why I broke up with my last girlfriend I said "it didn't work out." She said "be more specific." I said "I just told you she didn't exercise."

Guy wakes up to breakfast in bed...

his lunch is made, and he notices he's late for work. Frantically, he calls work, and they let him know that his wife already called to let them know he would be late.

He asks his son what happened that his mom was so happy. The son says "Dad, you came home drunk last night, and mom brought you to bed, and when she tried to take your shirt off, you said 'Get off me lady, I'm married!"

A guy took his small daughter with him to work one day...

After he introduced all the other employees to her she began to cry. He asked her what the matter was and she said, "You told Mom that you work with a bunch of clowns. Where are they?"

Legs in the Air

Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad that's great," said Little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming,"Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.

Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." Mom shushes him and gives him $10.

"Just don't tell Dad" she says.

*Hey, it's working* thinks Little Johnny.

An hour later, Dad comes home from work. Johnny goes up to him and says: "Dad, I know everything."

Dad gives Johnny $100. "Don't tell Mom" he says.

Just then, the mailman knocks on the door. Johnny opens it and says. "I know everything, Mister."

The mailman drops all his mail, his eyes tear up and he says:

"Well then Johnny, come give Daddy a hug."

You can explore working mom reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean working mom dad jokes. There are also working mom puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Blonde interviews to be a policeman

A blonde goes to an interview to be a police officer. The interview goes well until the interviewer asks some general knowledge questions. She does ok on the first few, until she is asked, " who shot Abraham Lincoln?"

She tells the interviewer she doesn't know, and he tells her to go home and work on the answer. Her mom calls her later and asks how the interview went.

She tells her mom, "great, they already have me working on a case"

"What are those things on mommy's chest?"

A young boy once asked his father: "DAD, what are those things on mommy's chest?" The father replied: "Son, those are mommy's balloons you see, before she dies they get pumped up and she floats to heaven."

A couple days later, the father comes home early from work and sits on the couch. The young boy runs downstairs screaming: "DAD! DAD! MOM'S DYING!" The father get's up quickly and asks: "WHAT'S WRONG!!" The young boy replies: "UNCLE JAKE'S UPSTAIRS BLOWING UP MOMMY'S BALLOONS AND SHE'S YELLING OH GOD I'M COMING!"

A mom buys an old parrot from a whorehouse..

A mom buys an old parrot in a whorehouse and proceeds to bring it home for the family to enjoy their new pet.

As she brings the parrot inside the house the parrot says "ah, new house!" and she bursts in laughter.

Later that day, the daughters arrive from school and promptly the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes!" and they all burst in laughter.

Some time goes by, and after a long day of work the dad finally arrives home, and without wasting time, the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes, same old customers. Good night Mr. Williams"

A kid has a pear-shaped head

The poor kid is feeling down because everyone at school teases him about his pear-shaped head. One day he can no longer take the teasing and says to the kids teasing him, "I can't help having a pear-shaped head, my mom ate a pear when she was pregnant with me."
"That's not how it works," one of the other kids said. "My mom ate a scratched disc when she was pregnant with me and nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...happened."

A Little Girl Catches Her Parents Having Sex

One night, a little girl decides to peek inside her parent's bedroom. She is shocked by what she sees, for she catches a glimpse of mommy bouncing up and down on top of daddy.

That very next morning, she asks her mom, "Mommy, why were you hopping up and down on top of daddy?"

The mom replies, "Oh, umm, well, I was just trying to help lose weight by pushing the air out of him."

The girl says, "Well that won't work mommy."

Puzzled, the mother replies, "Well why not, honey?"

"Well, every week while you're at work, the pretty girl from across the street comes to blow him back up!"

A crying blond

A blond goes into work crying her eyes out,her boss asks her whats wrong,she tells him that her mom died,the boss tells her that its ok for her not to come to work,but she disagrees and says that she needs to work to put her mind of it.As the day goes by she feels better,later she received a phone call and starts screaming and crying,when the boss came and asked her whats wrong she says: "That was my sister,HER MOM DIED TOO!"

A blonde went to work...

Her boss found her crying in her office and went to see what's wrong. She told him that her mom had just died. He told her to go home and take the week off. She then said that that wasn't the problem. Puzzled, he asked what the problem was. "My sister called me, her mom died too!"

Cultural Diversity--True Story

When I was six I learned about Hanukkah in school. My teacher told me, "Christians celebrate Christmas, and Jews celebrate Hanukkah."

That night I was waiting in line at Hometown Buffet with my family and asked Mom why the restaurant would be closed for Christmas.

"It's so that the people who work here can spend Christmas with their families." She said.

In a loud, excited voice I piped up, "BUT COULDN'T THEY GET SOME JEWS TO WORK HERE?"

We never went back.


So my dad dropped this on my mom this morning

Mom - "You know the neighbor always kisses his wife every morning before work. Why don't you do the same?"

Dad - "How can I? I barely know her!"

It's funny how saying "You're a bad girl!" to my wife turns her on....

But "You're a bad mom!" doesn't seem to work at all!

A woman and her 10 year old son are driving in a taxi at night in Detroit…

It's raining hard and and all the prostitutes are huddled under an awning. The young boy asks his mom, what are those ladies doing? The mom responds, they're all waiting for their husbands to get off work.

The taxi driver is annoyed and responds, Lady, just tell your son the truth! They are prostitutes and they have sex with random men for money! The boy asks, mom, is this true? She responds, yes son, it's true.

The boy then asks, what happens to their babies? Mom responds, they grow up to be taxi drivers!

Little boy asks his mom

Little boy. Mommy why were you bouncing up and down on Daddy's stomach last night?

Mother. Well if I didn't do that that he would get fat.

Little boy. Well it'll never work Mommy.

Mother. Why is that.

Little boy. Cuz after you bounce up and down in his stomach the babysitter blew him back up again.

A kid asks his mom why she's always bouncing on Daddy's tummy

This kid went to ask his mom one day why she's always bouncing on Daddy's tummy. He didn't understand and would assume that it would hurt.

The mom responded that she was doing that so that Daddy's tummy would not bloat up and get fat.

The kid then replied, "Mommy, that's never going to work because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up."

Jack the lad at work came out with this one today... What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke..

Mommy, why were you bouncing on Daddy's belly last night?

Mom: "Because his belly has become fat recently, and I need to help him lose weight."

Boy: "But that won't work."

Mom: "Why not?"

Boy: "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back again."

Two scared dads

Two kids are arguing over whose father was the biggest scaredy cat. Tommy says, My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bead.

Peter replies, Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door.

Growing up in poverty, my mom was a lot like my anti-depressants...

Neither of them really worked.

Another dad joke

Mom: The can opener isn't working anymore.

Dad: So it's a can't opener?

People who wonder how big any man you meet is, there is one easy way to find out without seeing them naked, and you may not have been aware of it. It WILL work 100% of time.

Just ask your mom.

When I met your Mom I was extremely attracted to her because

that's how large object gravitational fields work.

Timmy's April Fool's joke

The day is April 1st, and Timmy wanted to play an April Fool's joke on his mom.
His mom comes home from work, and Timmy rushes to her.

"Mommy! Mommy!" He says, frantically.

"What is it, Timmy?" She asks.

"Dad hanged himself in the garage!"

The mom screams, then rushes to the garage, but nothing is there. She walks back in the house.

"Nothing is in the garage." She says to him.

"April fool's!"

"Oh than-"

"He hanged himself in the loft."

Scientists have a new working theory on what happened before the Big Bang.

Your mom put an ad on Craigslist.

How to loose belly fat

Little Johny walks to his mom and starts asking her about what he had seen the previous night while sneaking around the house.

Little Johny: Mommy, mommy why ware you jumping on daddy's stomach last night?

Mom: Johny you're old enough to know the truth... your dad is getting obese so I need to jump on top of him to help him loose the belly.

Little Johny: I don't think that's going to work mommy.

Mom: Why do you say that?

Little Johny: When you leave for work the neighbor comes in and blow him back up.

A man doesn't trust his wife...

He calls her from his work all the time asking where she is. She always tells him that she's in the kitchen preparing food. And so he asks her to turn on the mixer for proof, which she does.

One day he called his son and asked him where his mom is. His son said: "She went out like everyday... and took the mixer with her."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the working mom jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working working mom piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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