Working Carpenter Jokes
26 working carpenter jokes and hilarious working carpenter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about working carpenter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Working Carpenter Short Jokes
Short working carpenter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The working carpenter humour may include short carpenter jokes also.
- What's a gay carpenter's favorite hobby? I don't know. It's a toss up between woodworking and working wood.
- What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a carpenter? A carpenter can cover up the holes he screws.
- A carpenter sent me her bill for installing a skylight in my windowless bathroom. I only paid her half the bill. She called and asked why. I said, It doesn't work at night.
- I'm a carpenter by trade and told my wife how much I hate doing repetitious work. She said well you would hate having a desk job. I think she's right, I wouldn't like building desks all day either.
- Wood working can be really dangerous Look at the most famous carpenter ever. Dead, nailed to a cross...
- Why won't women make good Carpenters? Because men have been saying this much is a foot for years.
- Why does no one want to work in the yard with a carpenter? Because they take a fence to that.
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Working Carpenter One Liners
Which working carpenter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with working carpenter? I can suggest the ones about carpenter wood and construction worker.
- How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove.
- A carpenter tries his hand at building a car It was a work of wood that wooden work.
- Two carpenters get to work together what do they build? Friendship :3
- what did the carpenter say when his shelf broke? 'i thought it wood work!"
- Who was the world's first carpenter Eve because she worked on Adams wood
- Why was Mary a v**...? Because Joseph the Carpenter worked his own wood.
Playful Working Carpenter Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about working carpenter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean carving wood jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make working carpenter pranks.
A good zinger that my friend carpenter used on a doctor
So this Dr hired my friend (who's a carpenter) to do some work around the house, the doc was curiously looking over my friends shoulder as he was putting a piece of molding to cover his uneven cut. The doc said with a cavalier attitude "that's an easy way to hide your mistakes!" and without thinking, my friend replied "yeah, to hide my mistakes I don't need 6 feet of soil!"
My friend decided to take up wood working and he heard this joke at his new work place
A joiner makes sure that what he makes fits with the rest down to the tenth of a millimeter.
A carpenter makes sure it fits down to a millimeter.
A mason makes sure it fits down to the centimeter.
If the painter makes it to the right address, it's a good thing.
New Old House
While carpenters were busy working outside the old house I just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workers came in and asked to use the washroom. I looked at his muddy boots and said "Just wait a second, Ill grab some newspapers"
"That's alright lady," he responded, "I'm already trained."
My wife has been keeping secrets from me.
I just built a fence and put down some paving. Turns out not only is she a master carpenter she's also an expert brick layer. If only I had known earlier I could have sought her advice before I did the work. It would have saved me from making all the obvious mistakes she pointed out after the work was done.
A rookie carpenter is on his first day of a new job...
The foreman greets him at the job site and tells him his first task will be to nail some sheathing on a roof. The rookie grabs a hammer and nails and gets to work.
The foreman watches the rookie work for a while, and when he's finished he calls him over. The foreman says, "I think your nickname in this jobsite will be 'lightning'." The rookies face lit up, and he asked, "Why's that? Am I faster than everybody else?"
The foreman shakes his head and says, "No, it's because you never strike twice in the same place ."
My friend was working on gluing two pieces of wood together and wondered to me how carpenters manage it so easily.
So I offered, "some add vise." ^^^Sorry ^^^for ^^^the ^^^pun, ^^^it's ^^^one ^^^of ^^^my ^^^vices
Two Carpenters
Two carpenters were working on a house. One older one and one newer to the job. They were both working on one side of the house. After a few hours of working the older guy noticed the young guy looking at every nail, then dropping about half. The older one exclaimed about this and asked. Why are you wasting those perfectly good nails? the second guy answered
They're facing the wrong direction!
You idiot! The older man exclaimed. They're for the other side of the house!
Jesus vs other carpenters
Usually those who've had construction work done on their house get this immediately:
Q: How is Jesus different from other carpenters?
A: Jesus may actually return some day.
Jesus relieves St. Peter at he pearly gates for a coffee break.
Soon an old man approaches to be admitted. Jesus thinks to himself..."Oh man, I know this guy from somewhere." Embarrassed, he says, "Yes, I know you. On Earth you lived...let's see..." The old man says, "I lived in a Mediterranean country." Jesus says, "Right, I remember. And you worked as...uh..." "I was a carpenter." the old man says. "Yes, and kids, you had..." The old man says, "Well there was the boy, but he wasn't really mine." Then it clicks, Jesus looks at the old man and cries, "Dad!" and the old man cries, "Pinocchio!"
