The Best 64 Workers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Workers jokes. There are some workers union jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these workers social worker puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Workers Jokes and Puns

How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair?

Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.

I was watching some construction workers today

outside my office building. They were laying down a bunch of grass.

I saw a forklift come in carrying rolls of grass, when all of a sudden a huge bulldozer came out of nowhere and crashed full speed into the forklift. Both the driver of the forklift and the grass went flying...

It was quite the horrific sight indeed...all I could think was, "Poor sod..."

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning

when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Workers joke, Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning

I went to the zoo..

When I got to the zoo I saw there weren't many people at all, just me in fact, and there were only a few workers. I walked around for a while and saw nothing. On my way to the exit I asked one of the workers what was up. He directed me to the far corner of the zoo, this whole zoo, as vast as it was only had one animal. It was a shitzu.

A few insurance workers are gathered at lunch when...

a wrinkly, old woman walks up. She approaches them with her hands behind her back and says to them, "If any of you can guess what is behind my back, you can sleep with me!"

The men all laugh before one man yells out, "I dont know. A fully grown alligator!"

The old woman shows a big smile and responds, "Close enough!"


New Old House

While carpenters were busy working outside the old house I just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workers came in and asked to use the washroom. I looked at his muddy boots and said "Just wait a second, Ill grab some newspapers"

"That's alright lady," he responded, "I'm already trained."

Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers?

How could someone stoop so low?

Workers joke, Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers?

why do automotive line workers like the 1st Amendment.

It gives them the right to assemble.

Two men are working by the side of the road...

One digs a hole and the other fills it back up.

They do this several times until an old lady, who has been watching them, comes over and asks "What in the world are you two doing?"

One of the workers replies, "We work for the city, the guy that plants the trees is off sick today."

A black man starts work on a construction site in Liverpool.

The other workers nickname him "Wog".

Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him, "But we all have nicknames. We've got Mick and Paddy, they're Irish. Wac from Liverpool. And Mack from Scotland".

The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men, "Mick, Mack, Paddy, Wac leave the Wog alone!"

How many union workers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Doesn't matter.

They're all on break.

*I'll show myself out*

You can explore workers labor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean workers construction worker dad jokes. There are also workers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...

The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the curtains in the rail car and says "let's just pretend the train is moving."

After sitting in the dark for a while, Gorbachev breaks the silence and says "Hey, any of you guys wanna pick up some McDonalds?"

I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building...

Friendship.

Why do Chinese workers work so hard?

Because their companies are always short-staffed.

Tragedy in Eastern Canada

Canada's Worst Air Disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Newfoundland.

Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as searching continues through the evening.

City workers

A passerby noticed a couple of city workers digging holes along the sidewalks.

The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but couldn't figure out what they were doing.

Finally, he approached the workers and asked, I appreciate how hard you're both working, but what the heck are you doing? One of you digs a hole, and the other guy immediately fills it back up again with dirt.

One of the workers explained: The guy who plants the trees called in sick today.

Workers joke, City workers

A Politician wanted to build a bridge

A Politician wanted to build a bridge.

So, he calls 3 engineeering firms. One is Chinese, other is American and the last one is Brazillian.

The politician calls the heads of all the 3 firms to his office.

He asks the Chinese head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"

He says, "3 Million Dollar. 1 Million for the workers, 1 Million for materials, 1 million for the profit."

The Politician asks the American head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"

He says, "6 Million Dollars. 2 Million for the workers, 2 Million for materials, 2 million for the profit."

Finally, the Politician asks the Brazillian head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"

He replies, "9 Million Dollars."

Suprised, the Politician asks him, "Why? Why so much?"

To which he replies, "3 Million for me, 3 Million for you, and 3 Million for the Chinese guy to build the bridge."

How many Apple workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to over hype the new lightbulb and one to make sure it breaks within a year.

A nun hears overhears a bunch of construction workers swearing and decides to head over there for lunch one day...

The nun sits down at the lunch table with her little sack lunch and turns to a group of workers and says:

"Have any of you ever heard of Jesus Christ?"

One worker stands up and yells to everyone on the site: "Hey! Has anyone here ever heard of Jesus Christ?"

Another worker shouts back: "Why?"

The first worker says: "Because his mom's here with his lunch!"


Two factory workers are talking.

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."

The man replies, "And how would you do that?"

The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"

The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."

The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."

The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"

The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

THIS JUST IN: Foreign suppliers of shredded cheese on strike.

Eyewitnesses report protesting workers holding signs that read: "MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN"

The workers at the inn aren't very friendly...

they create a hostel environment.

The boss is telling his workers a dumb joke...

...and every worker is laughing except one.
The boss asks that one worker:
"Why are you not laughing?"
"Cos I'm quitting today."

Postal workers are some of the most innovative people around

They really push the envelope.

Two sex workers enter Trump's Russian hotel room.

Sex worker: "On a scale of one to 10, how would you rate us?"

Trump: "Urinate"

I do not discriminate between white-collar and blue-collar workers

Because I am collar-blind.

Why did workers in the industrial revolution have better sense of smell?

It's because of all that time they spent in the ol-factory.

Why did the match factory burn down?

Because the workers went on strike

I just thought of this, not sure whether its an original joke

I've worked with starving children in Africa, and let me tell you...

They are the slowest workers I've ever seen.

TIL subway workers can get fired for messing up one sandwich.

Whoops, wrong sub.

What did the owner of the mining rig say to his workers after they blasted the rock and found gold underneath?

Wow this really blew up! Thanks for the gold!

Your girlfriend is so ugly

When she walks by a construction zone , workers get back to work

A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.

A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.

CEO comes up and asks his salary.

The man replies - $1000

The CEO pulls out his wallet, gives the man $1,000 and says - here's your month salary. I pay people to work here. Get out and never come back !

The man leaves.

The CEO asks workers - who was this guy ?

They reply - a pizza delivery man.

Did you hear the department of transportation is laying off thousands of workers?

They invented a shovel that stands up by itself.

I was watching a video of some entry level iron workers.

It's riveting.

I just read that article about Robot Sex Workers, and all I could think was, "Man, automation really is taking over all the jobs...

Even your mom's.

Why are retail workers the best in bed?

Because they're trained to have the customer come first.

Why does NASA send their workers Sprite?

Because since the Shuttle stopped flying, they can't send 7 Up any more.

Grocery store workers must let the customer decide if they want paper or plastic

because baggers can't be choosers.

Why do deaf people make such good workers?

Because they're never ear-response-able.

My city just fired half of the city's construction workers...

Apparently they realized a shovel can stand-up on it's own.

I have lots of respect for sex workers

I always give them a big tip

To all the unpaid federal workers...

Don't worry about your bills...Mexico is gonna pay for it!

How many Buzzfeed workers does it take to form a firing squad?

10. But number 5 will blow your mind!

Canada's worst air disaster occurred earlier this morning when a Cessna 152 (a small two-seater plane) crashed into a cemetery in central Newfoundland.

Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 825 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

A group of charity workers are sent to africa to see how their program is working.

They are walking down a street and see a crocodile with mans head in its mouth. When they get home and are asked about how their trip went one of them says "we can cut all funding, they got Lacoste sleeping bags"

Did you hear how there's a national coin shortage?

The U.S. Mint's production of about 1 billion coins per month has been slowed due to COVID-19 safety precautions for the workers.

The good news is that they've overcome the bottlenecks and will be overclocking their machines for increased production. They plan on averaging 1.65 billion coins per month for the rest of the year 2020.

So I guess you could say the coins will return next quarter.

A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.

Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produce photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied.
They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon"

What's the difference between retail workers and turkeys?

We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.

Told my Grandpa's favorite joke at his funeral and it helped cheer some sad eyes..... What happened when the parsley workers went on strike?

They're wages were garnished.

A social worker joke

A man was robbed, beaten badly, and left in the gutter along a lonely street. After being there for hours, two social workers walk by and notice the beaten man. They look him over, see his injuries, and one says to the other, the person who did this could really use our help

There was a devastating earthquake in the Irish town of Llanfair Pwllgwyngyll.

Relief workers are still at work trying to figure out what was the town's name before the catastrophe.

Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"

The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."

The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."

Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"

"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."

Statisticians give low paid workers an expected life of 68.7 years

That's mean

What do you call a brothel for construction workers?

Nuts N' Bolts

Three Men were in a Soviet Prison.

One man asked another, "What are you in here for?"

The other man replied, "I was arrested for being late. They accused me of wanting to delay the victory of the Proletariat."

Another man chimed in, "I was arrested for being early. They accused me of wanting to be favored over my fellow workers."

They both asked the first man what he was in for.

He replied, "I was arrested for being on time. They accused me of having a western timepiece."

Concerned when one of his most reliable workers doesn't show up, the boss calls the employee's home.

The phone is answered by a giggling child.

"Is your dad home?" the boss asks.

"Yes."

"May I speak to him?"

"No."

"Well can I speak to your mom?"

"No, she's with the policeman."

Alarmed, the boss says, "Gosh. Well then, may I speak with the policeman?"

"No. He's busy talking to the man in the helicopter that's bringing in the search team."

"My Lord!" says the boss, now really worried. "What are they searching for?"

"Me." the kid chortles.

A dog in a hard hat walks into a bar

The dog says "I'll have a beer. I'm on lunch break from the construction site across the street."

The bartender says "Wow, a talking dog! You should join the circus!"

The dog replies "Why? Do they need construction workers?"

A gigantic gas explosion in a coal mine in the next town killed thirty workers and hospitalised two hundred. But I refused to give to the support charity.

After all, it was only *miner* injuries.

Workers are building a brutally tall chimney...

When they are almost finished, a foreman runs to them short of breath and shouts:

We are in deep shit guys, someone turned over my construction plans...

We were supposed to dig a well!!!

The Corporate Ladder

A recent study in USA have found an interesting relationship between a man social status and the sport he watches

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employee is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is American FOOTBALL
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL
5. The sport of Choice for middle management is TENNIS
6. the sport of Choice for corporate Officers is GOLF

CONCLUSION: The Higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become

What do Defense Attorneys and Sex Workers have in common?

They both are paid to get people off.

What did the whale say to the dolphin?

When the person says "what?" do you best impression of a whale.

My co workers found it funny but my family did not.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the workers lazy worker jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working workers state worker piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes