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Worker Jokes

181 worker jokes and hilarious worker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about worker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

For the times in the office or on the worksite, here is a collection of funny jokes about the many types of workers, including the hard-working bee, the dedicated social worker, the strong construction worker, the reliable co-worker, the ever-lasting concrete worker, the tough iron worker, the lazy worker, the determined migrant, and the watchful commissar. Read on to get a good chuckle!

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Popular Worker Short Jokes

Short worker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The worker humour may include short employee jokes also.

  1. How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair? Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.
  2. I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker But when I got home, all the signs were there.
  3. I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing,
    but when I got home, the signs were all there.
  4. Why did the match factory burn down? Because the workers went on strike
    I just thought of this, not sure whether its an original joke
  5. I went to the store and said to the worker, "I need a battery so I can tell the time." He asked, "Is it for a clock?" I answered... "I don't know! That's why I need the battery!"
  6. Karen got hired to an offshore rig during the pandemic. She's an essential oil worker now.
  7. Did you hear about the guy who's been pickpocketing midget charity workers? How could someone stoop so low?
  8. I told my daughter she should reconsider becoming a postal worker. It's difficult to make it in a mail dominated industry.
  9. I've worked with starving children in Africa, and let me tell you... They are the slowest workers I've ever seen.
  10. Turns out my co-worker and I are getting our teeth checked the same day Isn't that coinciDENTAL?
    I'll see myself out

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Worker One Liners

Which worker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with worker? I can suggest the ones about working and worked.

  1. What do you call your co-workers in a boring and depressing workplace? Melancolleague(s)
  2. What do nuclear plants serve their workers for lunch? Fission Chips
  3. TIL subway workers can get fired for messing up one sandwich. Whoops, wrong sub.
  4. Told my co-workers this joke about mandatory meetings. You really had to be there.
  5. Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
  6. My co-worker disagreed when I said Median is the best average He's a mean person!
  7. Just played Uno with my Mexican co-workers... ...they stole all the green cards.
  8. When i get to work i hide. Because a good worker is hard to find!
  9. What does Activision and a Dairy worker have in common? They both love milking.
  10. How did a calendar factory worker get fired? He took a day off
  11. Statisticians give low paid workers an expected life of 68.7 years That's mean
  12. The workers at the inn aren't very friendly... they create a hostel environment.
  13. Why do deaf people make such good workers? Because they're never ear-response-able.
  14. I just retired. But I've been watching so much TV I consider myself a Remote Worker
  15. What do you call a one night stand with a construction worker? Nut and bolt.

Co Worker Jokes

Here is a list of funny co worker jokes and even better co worker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My co-worker doesn't like me, because he thinks I'm condescending. (That means I talk down to people.)
  • If a co worker is sick, is it considered a staff infection? I really just came up with this joke all by myself, this is a big moment for me.
  • I was just fired today, simply for telling my co-worker that her hair smelled nice. I think they are discriminating against me for being a midget.
  • A woman is swiping through Tinder at work, and her co-worker say, "Honey, you ain't never gonna find your husband on Tinder." "You may be right," she replied. "I found yours, though."
  • I was just fired from my job for telling a female co-worker the her hair smelled great. I think they are discriminating against me because I'm a midget.
  • I think of my co-workers as a second family Because I didn't get to choose any and I hate them
  • My co-workers are like my Christmas lights… Half of them don't work and the other half aren't that bright.
  • I made a genuine compliment about a co-workers mustache I don't know why she made such a big deal about it to HR.
  • My co-worker takes a small blue pill with his coffee every day at 8am He's likes to work hard in the mornings
  • My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel. I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.

Construction Worker Jokes

Here is a list of funny construction worker jokes and even better construction worker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest. Alien vs predator
  • A blind man with a service dog walked into a bar The construction worker holding the bar said, "Dude, you need a new dog!"
  • I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship.
  • A construction worker comes home from work. He tells his wife, "Honey, I cut off my finger today."
    She replies, "The whole finger!?"
    He says, "No, the one right next to it."
  • How do you tell the difference between a construction worker and a scientist? The way they pronounce unionized.
  • My city just fired half of the city's construction workers... Apparently they realized a shovel can stand-up on it's own.
  • What do you call a brothel for construction workers? Nuts N' Bolts
  • "I see," said the blind construction worker, As he picked up his hammer and saw
  • A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks He got hammered.
  • Why did it take so long for the construction worker to propose? He was building up to it.
Worker joke, Why did it take so long for the construction worker to propose?

Social Worker Jokes

Here is a list of funny social worker jokes and even better social worker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between a Social Worker and a pitbull? You'll get some of your child back from the pitbull.
  • What's the difference between God and a social worker? God doesn't pretend to be a social worker
  • What's the difference between a social worker and a pit bull? At least you can get some of your baby back from a pit bull.
  • One social worker asks another "What time is it?" The second replies, "I don't know, I'm not wearing a watch."
    The first says, "That's OK, the important thing is we talked about it."
  • Two social workers are passing by an alleyway... They see a guy badly beaten up lying there unconscious.
    One social worker says to the other, "My God - whoever did that really needs help."
  • Why is a social worker like a bra ? Both work for upliftment of downtrodden masses

State Worker Jokes

Here is a list of funny state worker jokes and even better state worker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Soviet joke In capitalism, man exploits man. In glorious Russia workers state, is other way around.
  • A guy walks into Home Depot and states to the iilliterate worker, "I want to get grout and amonia." The worker says, "You'll have to gain 50 pounds and sleep with the window open."
  • Doc Brown and Marty are watching the news The newscaster announces "Due to a large string of worker protests in the United States the price of cheese has gone up 200%"
    Doc Brown: "Grate, Scott!"
  • Who would win in a table tennis match: the President of the United States of America or the Chairman of the Worker's Party of Korea? Kim. Jong. Kim. Jong. Kim. Jong. Kim. Jong.

Worker Bee Jokes

Here is a list of funny worker bee jokes and even better worker bee puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • All the bugs were organizing a party. Then, the ladybug asked: "Are we inviting the workers? The ants, the bees?"
    "Mites as well", said the millipede.
  • How do you kill the queen from inside a beehive or an ant colony? Introduce the worker bees or ants to ideologies by Marx and Engels.
  • A queen bee is hungry. She calls to a worker bee for some food. The response? "I'm coming, honey!"
  • Why did the queen bee scald the worker bee? Because he was misbeehiving
Worker joke, Why did the queen bee scald the worker bee?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about worker can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of worker puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

The Funniest Worker Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about worker you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean builder jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make worker prank.

Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?

Because they lacked porpoises.

Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation...

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or j**... and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "Well, you'd better j**.... I've got a headache."

A CEO, a union worker and a tea party member sit down at a table ...

The union worker sets out a dozen cookies he baked.
The CEO grabs them all and tells the tea partier that the union member stole his cookie.

Horror at the zoo

A man is at the zoo with his family. Suddenly a flustered employee comes up and says
*Sir, sir! There's been a terrible accident!*
The man responds, *What happened?*
*Your mother-in-law fell into the alligator pool!*
The man, supremely calm, says to the worker, *Not my problem! You try to save those alligators.*

Untitled

A worker goes up to his boss and asks:
Worker: Hey, sir, I'm having a kid, can I have the day off?
Boss:Sure go ahead
The next day, the worker comes in and the boss asks:
Boss: Hey! Is it a boy or a girl?
To which the worker replies:
"I don't know, but I will tell you in nine months."

Dwarfs and s**... Harassment

Dawn, a tall attractive office assistant complains to human relations in her firm that every time she goes to the photocopier a nearby worker named Philbert comes up close to her and says "Mmm, your hair smells nice." Hermagrude, the kind , wise human relations officer says placatingly, "Well Dawn, many women would treat that as a compliment, perhaps you could see it that way?" Dawn replies, "well normally I might but Philbert is a dwarf."

Emergency Services

An Emergency Call Centre worker in London has been fired, much to the dismay of her colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with
her dismissal.
It seems a male caller dialed 999 from a mobile phone stating: "I am depressed and lying here on a railway track. I am waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet Allah."
Apparently, "Keep calm and stay on the line," was not considered to be an appropriate response.....

I wrote this little ditty just seconds after waking up.

An auto worker storms into his union leader's office. "I have a really pesky booger in my nostril, and management won't get us anymore tissue boxes!!" he shouts.
The union manager calmly responds: "Maybe you should picket."

A lawyer, priest, and social worker are on a ship that hits an iceberg...

The captain comes over the intercom: "Everyone please make your way to the lifeboats".
The social worker yells out: "Women & children first!"
The lawyer starts pushing his way towards the boats: "Screw the children!"
The priest responds: "Do we have time?"

What Does a Gynecologist and a Pizza worker have in common?

They both get to smell it, but neither gets to eat it.

EAR ACCIDENT

A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw.
He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?"
The guy on the street picks up an ear and yells back, "Is this it?"
"No," replies the construction worker. "Mine had a pencil behind it."

A banker, a worker and an immigrant

An immigrant, a worker and a banker are sitting at the table with 10 cookies. The banker takes 9 and then tells the worker "watch out, the immigrant is going to steal your cookie".

A nun hears overhears a bunch of construction workers swearing and decides to head over there for lunch one day...

The nun sits down at the lunch table with her little sack lunch and turns to a group of workers and says:
"Have any of you ever heard of Jesus Christ?"
One worker stands up and yells to everyone on the site: "Hey! Has anyone here ever heard of Jesus Christ?"
Another worker shouts back: "Why?"
The first worker says: "Because his mom's here with his lunch!"

A guy meets a s**... worker in a bar.

She says, 'This is your lucky night. I've got a special game for you. I'll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.' The guy replies, 'Hey, why not?' He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. 'Paint…my….house.'

An office worker opened his pay envelope to find

his check was short $100. He called the accounting department to voice his complaint.
"You're right, we made a mistake," said the clerk, "but last week we overpaid you $100 and we didn't hear you complaining then."
"Look," said the man, "I can overlook one mistake. But two weeks in a row?"

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

u**... for a surprise.
^^^^^sorry

At the grocery store.

Customer: "Are these GMO carrots?"
Worker: "No, why do you ask?"
Carrot: "Yeah, why do you ask?"

A blonde walks into a laundromat...

And says to a worker, "can you wash this shirt?"
The worker did not hear her and said "come again?"
The blonde than replies "no it is mustard this time"

Every time I walk into a store with my dad

Worker: "Can I help you?"
Dad: "No, he was born like that."

Donald Trump, a white worker , and a Mexican worker are sitting at a table.

A waiter comes over carrying 10 cookies on a plate. Before the waiter even gets a chance to set the plate on the table, Donald Trump reaches over and takes 9 cookies and stuffs them in his pocket. He then leans over to the white worker and says "watch out, that r**... is looking at your cookie."

Three men walk into a car part store...

I need taillights for a Mustang the first one says. What year? the employee asks. 2015 he answers. There you go , the worker hands in the parts. The second guy goes to the counter, saying I need a steering wheel for a Mustang . What year?
1997 he answers. There you go . After he payed, the third guy comes to the counter. I need rear suspensions for a Mustang . There you go .

A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.

I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.
'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'
'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.
'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.
'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a p**...'.

I went to a pet shop to buy a goldfish today...

The worker asked if I'd like an aquarium, but I told him "I don't care what starsign it is."

Why did the worker on the egg farm get fired from his job?

Because he had a crack addiction.

Stalin walks into a field

Farm worker: Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God!
Stalin: But God does not exist.
Farm worker: And neither do the potatoes.

A man walks into a graveyard..

A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it's over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. What's going on? he asks a cemetery worker.
It's Beethoven, says the worker. He's decomposing.

Two s**... workers enter Trump's Russian hotel room.

s**... worker: "On a scale of one to 10, how would you rate us?"
Trump: "Urinate"

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker,

I don't know how I never noticed that all the signs were there..

A dinosaur goes to a supermarket

A dinosaur goes to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping. He gets to the register and the worker scans all his items. When all the scanning is done, and the dinosaur has to pay, the worker asks:
'So how are you paying today?'
The dinosaur replies:
'With tyrannosaurus checks.'

What's the fastest animal in the world?

The Spanish government worker. The job ends at 3 and he's home by 2.

Investigation finds rise in complaints regarding worker incompetence at Quiznos locations

> "Whoops, wrong sub"

What did the cemetery worker say when he realized he buried a body in the wrong place?

I've made a grave mistake.

A farm worker greets Joseph Stalin at his potato farm

Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God, the farmer excitedly tells his leader.
But God does not exist, replies Stalin.
Exactly, says the farmer. Neither do the potatoes.

I was walking past Toys R Us today, when I noticed a really long line outside...

I asked a worker, "What's everyone here for?"
He said, "That's the Barbie queue."
Then, like an fool, I stood in it for forty five minutes waiting for a burger...

I left my job as a Concrete Worker.

It just seemed to get HARDER and HARDER.

What did they call the man who gave a h**... to an electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a construction worker?

A j**... All Trades

Two kids are bragging about how fast their dads are.

One kid says, My dad is so fast he can throw a football up and run underneath it and catch it!
The other kid, who's dad is a state worker says, My dad is so fast he gets off work at 5, and is home at 4:30!

A man is walking in a graveyard

when he hears the Third Symphony playing backwards.
When it's over the Second Sympnony also starts playing backward.
"What's going on ?" he asks the cemetry worker.
"It's Beethoven" says the worker "he is decomposing"

13,700,000,007

A man asks the worker at the astronomy museum how old the universe is. He responds 13.7 billion and 7 years old.
The man is puzzled how the worker knew the age to such precision. The worker answered, When I got this job, the person who hired me told me that the universe is 13.7 billion years old, and I've worked here for seven years.

What's the difference between Dracula and a government worker?

Dracula does more work during the day

What do you call an employee with an e**...?

A hard worker.

Remain Calm :)

An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal.
It seems that a caller dialled 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."
To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line

A warehouse worker...

A warehouse worker is getting ready to ship a bunch of cases of disgusting, prepackaged food, but he can't get it to fit properly on a skid.
The food was unpalatable.

A Mexican dock worker is loading a ship...

A Mexican dock worker is loading a boat with a shipment of French cuisine, when his boss happens to walk by. The boss asks, "hey, what's that you're loading over there?"
The dock worker replies, "Es cargo."

My buddy is a s**... worker and today he came home overjoyed that he made $104.25 that day

I asked, "Wait, who gave you the 25 cents?"
He says, "All of them!"

An elderly woman with a shaky voice walks into a s**... shop and asks, "Do y-y-ooou-u s-s-sell vib-b-rat-ors?", the store worker told her "Yes we do, ma'am."

She replied, "H-h-how d-do I t-turn-n it off-ff?"

I was eating a bag of Goldfish the other day

With horror, the Petco worker asked me to leave the store.

What do you call a Italian s**... worker

A pastitute

A Woman goes into a laundromat

The woman says: I spilled salad on it. The Worker, not hearing them, said: Come again?
The woman says: No, not this time, it was salad.

What's the definition of an essential worker?

Someone who is only paid enough to buy the essentials.

A nights work...

A guy meets a s**... worker in a bar.
She says, "Hey, tonight is your lucky night. I've got a very special game for us to play. Tonight I'll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy replies, "Hey, why not?, you're on" So he proceeds to put £300 on the bar from his wallet, and says to the s**... worker slowly. "Paint…my….house."

A worker was suspected of stealing

Every day the security guys would check his wheelbarrow when he was leaving the factory site. They never found anything. It took them weeks to realize that he was stealing wheelbarrows.

I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker...

But when I got home, all the signs were there....

How does a s**... worker extract precious minerals from the Earth?

They s**... mine.

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a construction worker?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a chemical factory worker?

Write down the word *'unionized'* and ask them to pronounce it.

My dad got fired as a road worker because of stealing.

I didn't believe it at first, but when I got home.
All the signs where there.

Which country's capital has the fastest growing population?

Ireland. Everday it's Dublin.


\*Idk if this has been on here yet. My co worker told me this and I about had a s**....\*

The 40 year old health care worker who cares for newborns started questioning her career choices, then flipped out and left town

I guess she was having a midwife crisis

A long time worker at a coca cola just lost his job

He is soda pressed now.

The first thing that I am going to do when I go back to work, is Hide.

Because a good worker is hard to find.

I had a big wasps nest under the eve of my roof so I went to the hardware store to find some wasp spray. I found a can and asked a worker if this was good for wasps?

He says No, it kills them.

A man wins big...

*pardon if this is a repost*
A gig worker hits a convenience store on the way home, and buys some juice, a sausage croissant, and a scratcher. Once outside he scratches the card, and wins $400 dollars. The guy collects his winnings and heads home.
When he arrives, he asks his wife "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
She replies "I'd take half the money and leave you."
"Great! I just won $200 tonight, here's $100 -- enjoy your half."

Co worker told me this one

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing making a movie about great composers.
Sean Connery says Only if I get to be Mozart
Stallone says Then I'll be Beethoven
Arnold says I'll be Bach

Bill Clinton brings a dress to the dry cleaning

He asks "Anything you need to know?", but since it's loud from all the machines running, the worker doesn't understand him and asks "Come again?"
"No", said Clinton, "Tomato juice this time"

A construction worker named John Smith had an accident at work and died.

His co-workers don't know who is going to tell John's wife that he died.
After a lot of arguing they decide that Jack should bring the news.
After an hour Jack returns with two crates of beer. Everone asks him how he got them.
Jack : I knocked on the door and a woman opened it. I asked: Are you John Smith's widow?
The woman answered : No, I'm his wife!
Jack: You want to bet two crates of beer that you're not?

Being deemed an "essential worker"

Is like being condemned to summer school while the rest of the students are off.

A little girl walk into a pet shop...

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks for a bunny. The worker says the fluffy white one or the fluffy brown one ? The girl then says, I don't think my python really cares.

My wife told me she is a poll worker.

I'm just surprised they pay her in all singles.

Worker joke, My wife told me she is a poll worker.

jokes about worker

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these worker jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.