Work Practical Jokes
30 work practical jokes and hilarious work practical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about work practical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Work Practical Short Jokes
Short work practical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The work practical humour may include short practical jokes also.
- I came up with a new word. Plagiarism: the practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own.
- The gynecologist down the street is selling the upper floors of his practice... ...He only works in the downstairs area anyway...
- I used to work in a car wash, but I wasn't very productive. In hindsight, it probably wasn't the most practical place for a painter.
- I dunno why my work has posters up saying 'practice social distancing' I mean, do we really need more practice?
I figure we're all pretty good at it by now. - Why was the baker so good with their finances? They had a lot of practice working with dough.
- What do communism and a essay writer who plays no sport have in common? They work on paper, but not in practice.
- My wife is working so I can just sit here. Sofa so good.
(I've got about 6 months to practice my dad joke material) - I'm a proctologist / gynecologist and my practice is starting to go south as I lose a lot of patients Mostly because I can only practice my ventriloquism at work...
- What does a stripper do with her a**hole before she goes to work? She drops him and his drum kit off at band practice.
- I decided to try the ancient Chinese practice of using needles to get rid of back pain… The h**... worked a treat for me.
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Work Practical One Liners
Which work practical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with work practical? I can suggest the ones about work experience and work related.
- Travelling doctors are an interesting idea... ...but they don't work in practice.
- Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Hilarious Work Practical Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about work practical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean work acceptable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make work practical pranks.
An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...
After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails the line. The old actor emphasizes that he will nail it. The director reluctantly agrees and proceeds to tell him his role. You will take a beautiful rose, bring it to your nose and take a deep breath and say the following line: *Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress…* That's it. Do not screw this up! The old actor thanks him 10 times over and proceeds to practice for the next 2 weeks nonstop.
Opening night comes. It's a sold out theater. He takes to the stage, spotlight on him. He raises his hand, takes a deep breath and says the line perfectly * Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress… * Just after the line is delivered the auditorium burst into laughter. He walks off the stage distraught. I don't get it. I nailed the line perfectly. What happened? The director looks at him and yells YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE FLOWER!
Depressed race car mechanic.
Scene: a psychiatrists practice:
'Doc, I'm a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It's utterly depressing ... I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It's crushing a depressing to think that such a wonderful thing is out there purring, but I'll never get to enjoy it. ...'
'Well sir, I think I understand just fine, my brother in law has the exact same problem.'
'Is he a mechanic too doc?'
'No, a gynecologist'
Johnny wanted to impress the girls in his swimming class.
So he asked his dad what to do.
"Son, just put a potato in your pants, and you'll attract them all!" His dad advised.
The next day after practice, Johnny looked pretty gloomy.
His dad asked, "What's wrong? Did the advice I give you not work?"
"It would've," cried Johnny. "If you told me to put it in the FRONT!"
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog!
Unless it's a repressed memory, I made this puppy up myself...
A woman walked into Dr Smith's office and introduced herself.
Hi, I'm Dr Yvette Tan, I've just become an accredited psychiatrist and would love to work as part of your medical practice .
Despite some misgivings, Dr Tan assured him she'd be needed eventually, and once he'd checked all her papers, he set her up in an empty office down the hall.
The next morning a man came in to see him and yelled out Doctor! I feel like I'm a dog!
Ah yes, the doctor replies, I think you'll need to see Yvette
What does a stripper do to her a**hole before going to work?
Drops him off at band practice
Musician joke
What does a stripper do with her a**... before work?
Drops him off at band practice.
A Father and Son were hard at work on their farm...
The Son dragged a h**... out of the shed and began working the field. He noticed that the h**... looked very old and worn out. It was practically falling apart, so he asked his Father "How long do you think this h**... will last?" His Father took one look at the h**... and shrugged. "I guess it depends on how much you pay her."
My friend Victor is a historian
He invited me to a party at his house and started introducing me to all his colleagues.
This is Victor, he's a historian of the renaissance. The guy next to him is Victor Jr, he's a historian of ancient Egypt. And those two guys over there are Victor and Victor, they are doing great work on Mesopotamian farming practices.
I was like wow, history really is written by you guys huh?
Some people are upset that Profesional athletes get payed so much
But really it makes sense.
After a few years of training an athlete is playing professionally.
After more than a decade of work and education most doctors are still practicing.
Theory vs practice
Theory is when you think you know something but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works but you don't know why.
Usually we combine theory and practice: nothing works and we don't know why.
the knights
What is the name of the knight who moonlights as a geologist?
Sir Vey
What is the name of the agreeable knight?
Sir Tenly
What is the name of the Knight who used to be a s**...?
Sir Vent
What are the names of the Knights who run the graduation ceremony?
Sir Amony and Sir Tiffy Cashien
What is the name of the Knight who is also an OB/GYN?
Sir Vix
What is the name of the Knight on l**...?
Sir Real
What is the name of the Knight who makes pottery?
Sir Amik Vaze
What is the name of the Knight who also works in the OR?
Sir Jen
What is the name of the Knight who is totally radical?
Sir Fer
What is the name of the Knight who is a great trader?
Sir Plus
What is the name of the French Knight?
Sir Render.
What is the name of the Knight who never loses?
Sir Vivyn
What is the name of the Knight who enjoys practical jokes?
Sir Prize!
What is the name of the Knight who is always in the lead?
Sir Pass
What is the name of the Firefly class Knight?
Sir Renitee
What is the name of the really sketchy Knight?
Sir Spishus
(all credit for those above goes to /u/NedryOS)
What's the name of the knight who is always sure of himself?
Sir Ten (creds to /u/loufizzle)
what is the name of the knight who loves snakes?
A programmer wants to try stand up.
A programmer wants to try stand up. So he practices for a while and goes to comedy clubs and learns for a while. Then one day he decided will be doing a show. While performing, he will tell a joke and no one laughs and then he will go back the the start of joke a changes a bit and tells it again, you could see few people struggling to laugh but not quite enough, then he goes back to the start of the joke change a bit and repeats again, this time everyone laughs. Some one from crowd asks why did you mistake your joke, why he had to go back to the beginning and start over? Programmer I had to debug a bit to find out what worked for this crowd..
A man and his wife are looking for a job
The man, unable to find any employment in his field, decides to apply for anything he can find in the hopes of earning enough to feed his family.
A few days later, he comes home overjoyed. His wife enquires, and he happily said he found a job as a stuntman in a circus! The pay is good, he has great insurance and he begins tomorrow to practice what will be his main act, the human cannonball. They both go to sleep happy, and the next morning the man leaves for work.
Hours pass, and the man comes back home, with a very sad look on his face. His wife enquires, and he explains..
"I went to work, I got into the cannon to be shot but right after that, they fired me!"
A product manager was asked by his son about his work. The father says, "My job is all about the difference between theory and practice." The child didn't understand, so the father said, "Let me give you an example:"
"Go ask your sister if she'd sleep with the neighbor for £1M". Kid goes, returns & says "she's not too happy to but she will for times are tough."
Then the father said: "Now go ask your mom that question" so the child goes, returns and says: "Mom's is not too happy to sleep with the neighbor but she will for times are tough". So the father said:
"You see, my son, in theory we have $2M but in practice we only have two h**...."
(Happy Saturday afternoon everyone)
Jim had a pregnant wife who was soon to give birth.
One day, he's on his way home from work, when he gets the call that his wife has gone into labour. In a panic, he races to get to the hospital, but swerves his car and crashes into the ditch. When he wakes up, he finds himself in the hospital, with his brother Jack, an irascible practical joker, leaning over his bed.
Your wife's fine, and she gave birth to two healthy twins, a boy and a girl. The doctors needed names, so I had to name them."
Jim was wary. What'd you name them?
I named the girl Denise, Jack said.
That's a good name, Jim breathed out a sigh of relief. What'd you name the boy?
Denephew.
Adam is a little lonely...
About a month or so after Adam was introduced to Eden, God and Adam are meeting for dinner. Adam expresses his admiration for the plants and the animals and the joy and beauty of it all, but admits that there is one little thing that he feels sad about: he feels a tiny bit lonely....
God quickly points out that he is already working on a solution: it is called a "woman," and is stunning to behold, beautiful and slim, would make company for Adam, would care for him when he's sick, attend to cooking and cleaning, make love to him whenever he wanted, and basically be a joy to be around.
Adam is suitably impressed, and expresses his eagerness for this "woman" thing to be created. He is practically beside himself.
"There is a catch, though," says God, "to create the woman I described I need both of your legs, and at least one arm."
Adam hems and haws for a while, and then asks: "what can I get for one rib?"