Work Jokes
162 work jokes and hilarious work puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about work that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is full of work jokes that will have you laughing out loud. From the funny to the relatable, these jokes will make your work day a little brighter.
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Funniest Work Short Jokes
Short work jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The work humour may include short service jokes also.
- I saw a girl crying, so I asked her Where are your parents? and she started crying even more. Man, I love working at the orphanage.
- I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then I didn't show. I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.
- Antiwork did an interview on fox News to try to create a good public image of their sub It didn't work.
- While driving to work, robbers jumped into my car and stole everything. They were pirates of the car I be in.
- I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?" I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
- I slept with a girl who works at Netflix last night It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next
- Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
- Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful. I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
- The Indian restaurant I work for is so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn't share the flatbread recipe Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.
- A man is on is death sentence and he gets to choose his last meal He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life, they never found a working machine.
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Work One Liners
Which work one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with work? I can suggest the ones about fitness and task.
- If I'm ever on life support, unplug me... Then plug me back in, see if that works.
- Translated from German, I hope this works: What's 3x3? No
- You know the razor blade works... when there are no reviews for it on amazon.
- Why do riot police like to get to work early? To beat the crowd.
- My Bluetooth speaker wasn't working so I threw it into the lake... Now it's syncing.
- 1984 is a great work of literature. I think all kids should be forced to read it.
- I often say to myself, "I can't believe that cloning machine worked."
- Why do some couples not go to the gym? Some relationships don't work out...
- When I was young, I was poor. After many years of hard work, I am no longer young.
- I work for the world's largest nanotechnology company. We're not very good.
- My new girlfriend works at the Zoo. I think she is a keeper.
- Proof that 9/11 wasn't a government plot: It worked.
- I witnessed the break up of an obese couple I guess they didn't work out.
- Recently, i've tried to make a car without wheel. I've been working on it tirelessly.
- I was going to tell a joke about unemployment But they never work
Home Work Jokes
Here is a list of funny home work jokes and even better home work puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My dad was fired from his job in road work for theft... I didn't believe it at first. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
- Saw my ex... On my way home from work last year i saw my ex being beaten up by 3 guys, i stopped the car and ran over to help...she didnt stand a chance against 4 of us.
- The internet is an amazing thing. One minute I'm at work looking up
random pages, passing the time, the
next minute I'm at home looking for a new job. - Got home from work today to find my kids have been on ebay all day. If they are still there tomorrow I will lower the price.
- Wife comes home from work. Wife: I left my job today, I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me.
Husband: So what did he say.?
Wife: "Katy, you are fired." - On my way home from work saw a man texting while driving.. Knowing how dangerous this can be I pulled up next to him, rolled down my window and threw my beer at him.
- Working from home and told a joke on a zoom call. No laughed Turns out I'm not remotely funny.
- I don't know why most people think a dogs life is so easy. Everytime I come home from work I ask my dog how his day went and he always says rough.
- My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work. She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up.
- After a long day's work, I came home and saw my kid ripping off the front and back pages of my dictionary. Things just went from Bad to Worse.
Back To Work Jokes
Here is a list of funny back to work jokes and even better back to work puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Instead of water, I put redbull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
- Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times? I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
- The butcher backed up... The butcher backed up to the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- Me: "It's not about how many times you fall. What matters is how many times you get back up." Officer: "That isn't how field sobriety tests work."
- My boss texted me "Send me a funny joke" I texted him back "Sorry, boss, I'm working at the moment, I'll send you one later."
He replied back "That was fantastic, send me another!" - Why don't revolutions work? Because after one revolution you're back where you started.
- A Spine surgeon's to-do list 1) Get back to work!
- As I was leaving work for the day, my boss tried to get me to stay back and finish a report. I told him it sounded like a job for Tom. Tom Orrow.
- What happened to the butcher when he backed into the meat grinder? Nothing. He just got a little behind in his work.
- As I'm walking in to work this morning my boss told me to "Have a good day" Who am i to argue? Thanked him and came straight back home
Work From Home Jokes
Here is a list of funny work from home jokes and even better work from home puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I was driving home from work tonight, I saw a woman texting whilst driving. It infuriated me so much I threw my beer bottle at her car.
- Bill and Melinda were happy for 27 years And then Bill started working from home.
- I was fighting with my wife over the arrangement of the dining-room furniture. I thought I had won but when I got home from work the tables were turned.
- I saw a Burglar breaking his own house the other day. Turns out he was Working from Home.
- Lottery This afternoon my wife came home from work early. The moment she was in the door, she called out pack your bags, I won the lottery!
I said, Where are we going?
What do you mean, 'We?' - I used to work at a cats home , but I had to leave. They reduced meowers.
- My wife hates it when I work from home I am an embalmer
- What's the difference between a wife and a dog? After five years, your dog is still happy to see you when you come home from work.
- Knock, Knock. Warning. Warning.
If you receive a knock knock email. Do not open it.
It will be Jehovah Witnesses working from home. - How do lumberjacks work from home? They Log In
Work Friendly Jokes
Here is a list of funny work friendly jokes and even better work friendly puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've got a friend who is a structural engineer. He's always complaining about stress at work.
- My friend works in IT, and I asked him, How do you make a motherboard? He said, I usually tell her about my job.
- My friend at work got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine and said he didn't feel too good the next day I told him, "What do you expect from taking two Johnsons at once?"
- I asked my friend who works in google how it is out there ? He said " can't complain "
- One of my friend recently started working as a postman I asked him why are you working for such underpaying job?
He said, "it's not about money it's about sending message" - Grandpa told me this Guy lost his finger in a work accident
His wife was telling her friend about it
The friend asked "did he lose the whole finger?"
The wife replied "no, the one next to it" - Christmas lights remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright.
- My archaeologist friend was looking sad at work, so I asked him if there was something wrong "Of course there is!" He said.
"My work is in ruins!" - I was dating a midget but it didn't work out. My parents and friends looked down on her.
Bonus: It was a short relationship. - My friend set me up with a blind date at the gym. She didn't see us working out.
Entertaining Work Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about work you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean labor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make work pranks.
A man took his 6-year-old daughter to his office on 'Take your kid to work day'
As they walked around the office, the girl turned visibly upset and soon started crying. Her father asked her what was wrong
As everyone gathered around, she sobbed "Daddy, I'm getting bored walking around the office. Please show me those clowns you said you work with"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.'
'But I never went to college.'
'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'
I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."
I responded, "How about now?"
Forget everything you learned in college...
'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.'
'But I never went to college.'
'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman visits her husband in prison
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"
The officer laughs, saying:
"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"
"b**...! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"
A young artist exhibits his work for the first time...
.. and a well known art critic is in attendance.
The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"
"Yes, " says the artist.
"It's worthless," says the critic
The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."
Two chemists walk into a bar.
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says, "I'll have some H2O."
The second says, "I'll have some water too. But why'd you order it like that? We aren't at work."
The first chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom.
His assassination plot had failed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sick day.
A man calls his boss and tells him he won't be coming in to work today because he's not feeling well. The boss says, "Well we really need you today. Whenever I'm feeling sick I tell my wife to give me a b**.... Works every time. Why don't you try that and then see how you feel."
He calls back an hour later and says, "Just letting you know, I'm on my way to work. I feel great now. And by the way, you have a nice house."
Olympic Condoms
A man gets home one day from work and excitedly shows off to his wife that he bought a pack of *Olympic Condoms*.
"What do you say I slip on a gold one and we give it a go?" He asks her with a grin.
She simply responds,
"Why don't you try out the silver and come second for a change"
Jim had been out for a few days with the flu. Back at work,...
...he ran into a friend of his, who asked him, "Jim, how are you feeling?"
"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience," Jim replied.
"Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?"
"Well, I learned that my wife really loves me. You know, whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, my wife ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying 'My husband is home! My husband is home!'"
I happily dad joked my fiancé
While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side.
To which I replied, "At least you won't smell half bad!"
When I was a kid...
... I asked my mum what a couple was and she said, 'Oh, two or three'. And she wonders why her marriage didn't work out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boss, who is a fit woman, caught me in the shower room after work.
She said to me "Would you mind taking my blouse off?"
I replied, "Certainly," and took it off.
Then she turned around and said, "Would you take my skirt off too?" So I removed that as well.
Then she finally asked me to take her underwear off, so I did that too.
Then she looked at me and said, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"
My boss was honest with me today.
He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year."
Saw a cute girl at work today.
I told her I get off in five minutes and she smiled. Then I said I finish work in one hour and she left.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chinese Sick Day
h**... Chow calls in to work and say,
"Hey boss, I no come work today, I very sick. Got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt. I no come work today"
The boss says, "You know something h**... Chow, I really need you today. When I get sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask for s**.... That make everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later h**... Chow calls again and says,
"I try what you say and I feel great! I be at work soon. You have really nice house by the way!"
When I was a kid I prayed every night for a new bicycle
Then I learned the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness instead
Why I won't carpool.
I thought about carpooling with some co-workers to work, but the problem is that on the way to the office we have to go through a tunnel. I'm deathly afraid of this situation. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed
Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes
Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work
I work in retail, a married man made me laugh
Me: Hi sir, can I help you?
Him: Nah I'm just looking for my wife
Me: Oh sorry, we don't sell wives here
Him: Good! Else you'd get a lot of returns!
A good zinger that my friend carpenter used on a doctor
So this Dr hired my friend (who's a carpenter) to do some work around the house, the doc was curiously looking over my friends shoulder as he was putting a piece of molding to cover his uneven cut. The doc said with a cavalier attitude "that's an easy way to hide your mistakes!" and without thinking, my friend replied "yeah, to hide my mistakes I don't need 6 feet of soil!"
I painted my computer black so it would run faster.
Now it doesn't work.
Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
Now the whole system is corrupt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man comes home from work...
A man comes home from work and he finds his wife furious at him.
She screams "Why did you sleep with my sister while you were at work!?"
He replies "Well she was lying on the table, n**..., and you know she's an attractive woman, so what did you expect me to do?"
"Perform the autopsy."
My wife came home from work and stormed angrily into the bedroom where I was sat.
"I get the impression you aren't being loyal to me," she said.
"Why?" I frowned.
"You've been very quiet recently. And you're always hanging around with that girl from work, Rachel?"
"Rochelle." coughed a voice from the wardrobe.
Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced...
My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!
What makes you say that? the bartender inquired.
Last week, Bill explained, I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she'd run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, 'My husband's home! My husband's home!'
I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again.
I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boss p**...
I sit at work today drinking Coke, doing some stuff with Excel tables when suddenly my boss puts his hand into my pants, jerks me off, and then goes back to his previous work like nothing happened. Being self employed has its positives.
Cheer up Hilary!
At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.
A woman is at the park with her son when he starts misbehaving.
She looks at him sternly and says "If you don't stop before I count to 3, we're going home!"
1...
2...
2 and a half...
2 and three quarters...
2 and five sevenths...
Just then a man taps her on the shoulder and hands her his business card. Hi I work for Gabe Newell, co-founder of Valve, and we're looking for a new Vice President. I think you're just what we're looking for. Call me on Monday and we'll talk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man cheats with his wife's sister
Man: Calm down! You haven't heard my side of the story!
Wife: You slept with my sister!
Man: When i got to work she was just laying there n**... on my table! What was I supposed to do?!
Wife: The autopsy!
PS: Didnt make this up
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chinese man calls in sick
h**... Chow calls in work and say, "Hey, I no come work today. I really sick, got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come to work."
The boss says, "You know what h**..., I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask her for s**.... That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later h**... Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
In order to make a relationship work, you have to make a lot of sacrifices….
Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden…
I saw a 4 year old girl crying, all alone
"Are you ok?" I asked her. "Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"
"No" she sobbed
I love doing volunteer work at the orphanage
Two young boys go to a store
They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me: When i donate blood i do not extract it myself. A nurse does it for me
Receptionist: Yes, but this is a s**... bank and it doesn't work that way.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mate asked me why I have s**... noises saved on my phone.
I said, It's for sound effects during s**....
He asked, Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?
I replied, No, I work in a morgue.
My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini.
I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!"
He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My husband called and asked if I could be n**... before he gets home from work...
...I feel awkward sitting here with his mother, but whatever.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We had random drug testing at work today.
The p**... was my favourite.
Three boys were talking after school...
Three boys were talking after school while waiting for their fathers to pick them up. The first one boasts: "My dad is a Formula One driver. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:15."
The second boy says: "That's nothing. My dad is a jet pilot. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:05!"
The last boy looks at his companions and says: "Pfff.... amateurs! My dad works for the government. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 4:45!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n**... on the bed, crying her eyes out.
What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Working at home s**......
....if you're a firefighter.
My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman gets home from work and hears her husband call out from the bedroom...
Husband: can you come here and help me with this clock?
The woman walks in the room and sees her husband sitting at the edge of their bed with a r**... hard-on
Wife: thats not a clock
Husband: it will be when you put two hands and a face on it.
A man stayed late at the pub after work when he got a call from his wife
Wife: "I've cooked your dinner and if you're not back in 10 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog!"
Man: "Hey, it's not his fault!"
I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today
He said Dream on. I think that was really nice of him.
Librarian: Can I help you?
Dave: Yeah, I'm looking for a book about-
Librarian: Being psychic?
Dave: No...
Librarian: One day that will work.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."
The bartender tells him, "I used to have a stutter too. Then one day, my wife gave me head, and from that point on I was cured!" The guy gets really excited and runs out the door without ever getting his beer.
The next day, the guy walks back into the bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."
The bartender asks him, "It didn't work, huh?"
The guy says, "N-n-nope. B-but y-your h-h-house is r-r-really n-n-nice."
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women, I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific so I said
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
18 year old: Dad I turn 18 today!
Dad: great, I'm taking you the s**... club tonight.
18 year old: No, I already said I didn't want that.
Dad: Nicole, someone needs to work in this house.
After 37 years I'm finally ready to retire with $5,000,000 I've accumulated through hard work, careful saving, living a life of simple means...
...and the death of an uncle who left me $4,999,996.50
A guy comes home from work and he is clearly upset.
His wife looks concerned and asks him what's wrong. He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.
Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.
"Honey, what is it? I've never seen you like this before," the wife says.
"It's . . . nothing," he says. "I can't burden you with my problems. It wouldn't be fair."
"*Your* problems?" the wife says. "We are partners. We face everything together. Your problem is my problem. There is no I, just we. Now please, tell me, what is it?"
"Well," he says, looking up at her glumly. "we got our secretary pregnant and now she's suing us for support."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Locked in her basement
A woman I work with locked me in her basement for two months once and used me as her s**... s**....
One day I noticed she forgot to lock the door and I thought, "Great, this is my chance!"
So I ran up the stairs and grabbed the phone.
Half hour later the pizza arrived, and I went back down to the basement.
Mr. and Mrs. Keaton notice the young man staying next door always kisses his girlfriend every morning before heading to work.
"Why don't you do that?" Mrs.Keaton asks her husband.
"Darling, I don't even know the woman."
A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.
Poodle says: "I'll only choose the mate who can use the words 'Liver' and 'Cheese' in one sentence..."
Husky: "Well that's easy, I love liver and I love cheese!"
Poodle: "That's not gonna work"
Pitbull: "I hate liver and I hate cheese!"
Poodle: "...No"
Chihuahua: "LIVER ALONE, CHEESE MINE!"
A guy rides his motorcycle through the border from Spain to France every week carrying two bags of sand.
The border guard searched the bags every time, but never found anything, so he had to let him through. The guard has his last day at work before retiring and the guy comes to the border again, carrying his two bags of sand. The guard says "look, man, it's my last day, I'm not going to bust you. You're clearly smuggling *something* across the border all this time but we never find anything, what is it.". The guy says "I'm smuggling motorcycles"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
*Phone rings at work*
Boss: Why don't you answer it?
Me: I'll let it ring for a while. That way they'll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.
Boss: ANSWER IT g**...!
Me: 911, what's the emergency?
It was so cold this morning I had to use my Tesco discount card to scrape the ice off my windscreen
Didn't work though, I only got 10% off.
Soviet Curfew
A man in Moscow is walking home after his day at work and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and tells him to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.
What did you do that for? he asks.
Curfew violation, the other guard says.
Curfew violation? Curfew isn't for another half hour!
I know. That's my friend. I know where he lives. He never would have made it.
A Collie was talking about how hard he works on the farm where he lives.
A nearby sheep piped up 'YOU don't work hard, all you do is boss US around.' 'WHAT DID YOU SAY' shouted the collie. 'You herd me' the sheep replied
Dear Humans,
You get mad at me when I work....You get mad at me when I don't work.
Sincerely,
Confused alarm clock.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife complains about constantly being s**... harassed at work
I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office if she doesn't like it
Boss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?
Me: That it's only Wednesday
I used to make jokes at work during meetings, and I could really get people laughing. Then COVID hit, and all our meetings were online. I'd still make jokes, but no one would laugh...
Not one. At first, I thought it was just because everyone was muted. It turns out, they didn't find me remotely funny.
The phone bill was exceptionally high...
.... so the husband called a family meeting to discuss the issue.
Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use the home phone, I use my work phone.
Mum: Me too. I hardly use our home phone. I use my company's phone.
Son: I always use my office mobile, I never touch the home phone.
All of them were shocked and together looked at the maid who was patiently listening to them.
Finally the maid said, "Why are you all looking at me? So we all use our work phones. What's the big deal??
A man and a woman are talking in the office.
The man says: "I'm so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off."
The woman replies: "Don't worry, I have a way of doing that. Just watch me."
The woman proceeds to hang from a pipe.
Suddenly, the boss walks in a says: "What in the world are you doing?"
The woman replies: "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says: "You must've gone crazy from all that working, you can take the day off."
The woman leaves. The man follows.
The boss asks the man: "Where are you going?"
The man then replies: "I'm going home. I can't work in the dark."
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
At work, I have a workstation.
A Finnish joke from the Cold War
During the Cold War, a foreign journalist asked a Finnish general what Finland would do if the USSR and NATO would fight a war in Finland.
He replied first we would beat out NATO, and then the Soviets .
The journalist was surprised about the order and asked why.
We are civilized people. Work comes before pleasure , the general replied.
A woman is flirting with a Russian man at a bar(a joke)
She says,
"Hi, handsome, what do you do for a living?"
The Russian replies,
"I work for KGB."
"Cool, tell me an interesting story!"
"About me or about you?"
