Work Experience Jokes
51 work experience jokes and hilarious work experience puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about work experience that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Work Experience Short Jokes
Short work experience jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The work experience humour may include short work practical jokes also.
- If your plane experiences turbulence, just pray. Works every time Because no one alive has been able to claim otherwise.
- there's no better experience than cracking open a cold one at the end of the work day i love working at the morgue.
- I went for a job interview today, when the interviewer asked, "Can you tell me about your previous work experience, in a nutshell?" I responded, "I've never worked in a nutshell."
- I just don't understand why these 16 year old guys can't show up for work on time... Based on my other experiences with them I assumed they'd always come early.
- Why do you ask for such a high salary if you don't have any experience? -Well, it's a lot harder to work if you have no idea what you are doing
- Did your hear 007 opened a handyman business after retiring from spy work? It was a logical career change, he was already licensed and bonded, and had some experience taking care of oddjobs.
- One of the top questions I've been asked is what's the best way to spend your money when you're homeless And from experience, I can say a mask and knife will work wonders for you.
- Is it easy to get a job at a restaurant? I don't have a lot of work experience, so ideally I'd be looking for an entree-level position.
- What qualifications so you have for working with kids? Well, I have a lot of hands-on experience.
- A scientist has been working with mice for many years and has discovered a potential cure for cancer. "It was an elaborate experiment".
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Work Experience One Liners
Which work experience one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with work experience? I can suggest the ones about life experience and work related.
- My wife's skydiving experience ended horrifically. The parachute worked.
- I used to work as an optometrist It was a real eye-opening experience
- I spent a summer working on a rabbit farm. It was a hare raising experience.
- In my experience there's two ways to get things done, the right way and the drunk way.
- I will never work in a French bakery again. The experience was too painful
- Applicant : God Past work experience: seriously?
Work Experience Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about work experience you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean work event jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make work experience pranks.
My dad's favourite joke. Mine too.
There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let the community know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.
At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.
'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'
The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'
The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'
The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.
The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'
The spider didn't move.
'Move right'
Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'
My experiences working at an electronics store...
On a normal day at the shop a man walks up to me and taps me on the shoulder. I turn around with a big smile and ask "how can I help you". He says "well, I plan to shoot everyone in this store, my family and my dog" I then asked him very calmly "Sir...were you considering Nikon or Canon?"
Scientists and spiders.
There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.
At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.
'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'
The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'
The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'
The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.
The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'
The spider didn't move.
'Move right'
Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'
Jim had been out for a few days with the flu. Back at work,...
...he ran into a friend of his, who asked him, "Jim, how are you feeling?"
"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience," Jim replied.
"Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?"
"Well, I learned that my wife really loves me. You know, whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, my wife ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying 'My husband is home! My husband is home!'"
Officer Discussing "Relations"
A party is going on at the Generals house, and four officers are discussing relations.
The General asks how much of it is Fun and how much is work, stating "I think its about 90% work, and 10% fun."
The Commander reluctantly disagrees saying "Sir I think it's more like 25% fun 75% work"
One of the department heads says "In my experience its about 50% work, 50% fun."
To which the JO (Junior Officer) says "I dunno, I know I'm not married sir, but I always thought it was 80% fun, and 20% work"
Just then the Senior Enlisted Advisor walks by so they ask him.
Thinking for a moment he responds "It must be 100% fun, because if any work was involved you four would have enlisted guys over at your house doing it for you."
Why is it so hard to explain a pun to a kleptomaniac?
They don't understand the subtle nuances of the English language, so they can't pick up on the double entendres needed to appreciate a good pun. It may be a generalization, but in my experience that's how it works out.
Professor San Holo
Prof San Holo was busy at his lab. He was experimenting with splicing genetic material from rams into eggs of bees. With global warming, certain species of flowering plants flourish while others perish. The idea was to give bees the ability to digest leaves and grass to make honey and thereby reduce the need to be reliant on nectar and pollen from flowers.
The first splicing was a disaster. The bee digestive system became dysfunctional.
The second attempt disrupted the honey production with lactose contaminant.
The bee grew tiny horns in the third!
He then tried DNA from a sheep and Eureka! Yes indeed. It worked because he
Made the Fourth Bee with Ewe.
Logical Thinking
The manager was very angry with this beginner who wanted a very high salary. He asked him why he wanted so much money whereas he had no experience. The beginner replied "Work is very difficult when you are a beginner. It becomes easier as you get experience."
Old experiment
#You are now breathing and blinking manually.
#also you are aware of your tongue now.
Let me know if this worked
Here are some few movie jokes:
The Shining: A family's first Airbnb experience goes very wrong.
• The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.
• Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.
• Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet.
"For this entry level position, we're looking for..."
"Someone with the wisdom of a 50-year old
The experience of a 40-year old
The ambition of a 30-year old
The energy of a 20-year old
And who, ideally, is willing to work for free."
Why is Alabama the best place for sandwiches?
Because of their experience working with inbreds.
Job interview at a psychiatrist
So you're interested in working with us. What is your experience with mentally disturbed people?
I've been on Facebook for 5 years now.
Very good, the job is yours.
Why did the dentist think he could work for the TSA
He had a lot of experience with cavity searches.
A man goes to an interview for a lumberman position
Interviewer: So, what's your experience in the field? Where have you worked?
Man: I have worked in the Amazon forest, in Canada and in the Sahara desert
Interviewer: In the Sahara desert? But there are no trees there
Man: Yeah, now
What did King Arthur say when asked about Lancelot's betrayal?
"I don't want to talk about it, I've had a bad knight."
Bonus joke:
Why should you hire submariners?
They have experience working under pressure.
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor,
so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water.
The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.
He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass.
It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died.
"Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
A lumberjack applies for a job and gets called for an interview. The interviewer asks him, So, what experience do you have? The lumberjack replies, Well, I used to work in the Sahara Forest.
The interviewer is a little taken aback and asks, The Sahara Forest? Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?
The lumberjack says, Yeah, that's what they call it now.
Why isn't being a husband considered a job?
Because it's bad to have previous work experience.
What's the difference between a urologist that has been working for one year and one that has been working for ten?
A vas deferens in experience.
A few guys grew some w**...
A group of friends decided to experiment with growing w**... one day. It proved to be a success and they were very proud of their work.
However, one member of the group decided to take all the credit for himself. This was foolish as it was obviously a joint effort...
I got a new job as a lumber jack this week. . .
The guy who interviewed me asked if I had, any experience?
I said I used to work out in the Sahara Forrest.
He said, "don't you mean the Sahara desert?"
well that's what they call it now, I said.
Donner Party.
Here's a rare treat....an original joke
At work I was talking with a client who brought up the Donner Party and asked if i knew who the were. I replied that yes, I did. They were the group snowbound in the mountains in the 1800s and turned to cannabalism.
I added that they were supposedly humbled by their experience but I always thought they were full of themselves.
Client laughed.
A manager examined a job application, then turned to the applicant and said, "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary."
*"Well, the work is much harder when you don't know what you are doing."*
A scientist is looking to conduct an experiment using dolphins
He goes to the pet store and asks the clerk if they have any dolphins
The clerk responds We don't have any dolphins, but would a whale work?
The scientist responds No thank you, that defeats the porpoise
I recently flew to africa to do some charity work.
It was an eye-opening, shocking experience.
The poverty, the starvation, the fighting.... the *smell*, the noise....
I am never flying economy again.
A dog is looking for work...
He stumbles across an open construction site with a hiring sign.
The dog goes to the foreman and says he's willing to work and can start immediately. The foreman asks the dog if he has any experience with carpentry and construction.
The dog replies, "Some; I've got a lot of experience with *woofing*!"
I applied to the local rock quarry...
Apparently getting s**... is not acceptable prior work experience.
Apparently Wehrner Von Braun used to play truant from school a lot when he was younger to work on experiments with rockets.
His mother once said to him "Wehrner, you keep missing school!" Wehrner said "Yes, but only by a few miles!"