JokoJokes

Work Event Jokes

20 work event jokes and hilarious work event puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about work event that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Work Event Short Jokes

Short work event jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The work event humour may include short work performance jokes also.

  1. Safety Meeting @ Work: They asked me what steps I would take in the event of a fire... Apparently REALLY BIG ones was not the right answer. 🙄
  2. wooohooo!! For the first time ever, I won the ugly sweater competition at my work.. Just that, i wore my best sweater from my closet to work without knowing today was the event!!
  3. The greatest works of any painter are inspired by the most tragic events of their life That's why they call them *pain*tings
  4. My therapist told me to go out to a social event for my social anxiety. Exposure therapy, and all that. It worked. Although the trench coat put me a bit out of pocket.
  5. "You look so cute reading the news paper!" It's taken me three years and countless hours, but attracting male attention by staying updated on current events is finally working.
  6. I failed a Health and Safety course at work today... One of the questions was: "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"

    "f**...' big ones" was apparently the wrong answer.
  7. Bad s**... is a lot like an in-game quick time event Both involve people furiously mashing a button, hoping it'll work.

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Work Event One Liners

Which work event one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with work event? I can suggest the ones about work related and social event.

  1. What do fish talk about at work? Current events
  2. Due to recent events, James Bond no longer works for her majesty's secret service.
  3. What event do birds have at work on Friday? A Flappy Hour

Work Event Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about work event you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean work experience jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make work event pranks.

Scientists and spiders.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.
At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.
'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'
The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'
The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'
The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.
The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'
The spider didn't move.
'Move right'
Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'

The Seattle Harbor Enterprise, or SHE, is embroiled in another lawsuit....

They have been charged with illegally surveiling the employees of a net manufacturing company and even tracking them to their homesand even emailing them during non work hours.
So the employees got together and pooled up enough money to raise a lawsuit against the the org for their wrongful actions.
The event is being called the:
"Sue SHE fish net stalking case"

A man is driving his new BMW to a special event when he notices it start to break down.

He pushes it to a shop and is greeted by a mechanic.
Mechanic: What seems to be the problem?
Man: I don't know! I was driving and it just died. I'm really in a hurry. Can you help me?
Mechanic: Yeah. Give me a few minutes.
A few minutes later the mechanic comes back....
Mechanic: Seems to be working just fine now.
Man: that's great! So what's the story?
Mechanic: Just c**... in the carburettor...
Man: Okay! How often do I have to do that??

An electrician is contracted to do work in Africa

He works in Africa setting up the electrical systems for the schools and hospitals that a mission is helping build. During his work there he meets a pastor and they chat and eventually become friends. One day the electrician mentions to his friend the idea that the priest should say some prayers for the system once him and his co-workers are finished setting up the electrical system.
A couple years later, the priest is at a charity event where he is talking to the various guests.
One asks "I heard you did work in Africa, what exactly did you do there?"
And the priest replies "I blessed the mains down in Africa".

[Long]Three Toronto surgeons were playing golf together

and discussing surgeries they had performed..
 
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Ontario. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident; 
I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.
 
The second surgeon said.. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident; 
I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold Medal in track and field events in the Olympics.
 
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs . Several years ago a man was high on c**... and m**... 
and he rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. 
All I had left to work with was the man's  blonde hair and the Horse's a**.... 
I was able to put them together and now he's running for President of the U..S.A!"

My dad's favourite joke. Mine too.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let the community know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.
At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.
'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'
The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'
The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'
The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.
The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'
The spider didn't move.
'Move right'
Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'

From a Southwest Airlines employee

"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight x**... to Chicago. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."