Work Bonus Jokes
9 work bonus jokes and hilarious work bonus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about work bonus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Work Bonus Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good work bonus joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I was dating a midget but it didn't work out.
My parents and friends looked down on her.
Bonus: It was a short relationship.
Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.
This might be the nerdiest joke I know. Here's a bonus mathematical nerd joke:
Why don't riddles work in octal notation?
Because seven ten eleven.
What did King Arthur say when asked about Lancelot's betrayal?
"I don't want to talk about it, I've had a bad knight."
Bonus joke:
Why should you hire submariners?
They have experience working under pressure.
What did the Nintendo Wii do when he stopped working?
Wii-tired
bonus: In Wii-sconsin
CHRISTMAS BONUS
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.
An OBGYN got tired of her career and decided to train to become a mechanic.
Her final exam was taking apart a car engine and putting it back together. When she finished, the instructor announced that she scored a 150 on the exam even though it was only out of 100. When she asked how she scored so high, the instructor explained that she got the full 100 points for her work on the engine, but he decided to throw in an additional 50 bonus points since she did the entire procedure through the muffler.
OB/GYN gets fired
OB/GYN doctor gets fired. And he is looking for a job and get an interview at a car repair shop. And the managers says
"If you take the carburator apart you get 2 points and if you put it back you get 5 points and if it works after that you get 3 point.But I'll only hire you if you get all 10 points"
"Ok" says the doctor.
After about 15 minutes he's finished and talks to the manager.
"Wow nice job, you get 10 points and 5 bonus points"
"Why the bonus points?"
"Because I've never seen anyone do that thru the exhaust"
A property developer and a building contractor are standing on a construction site...
It's getting late and the developer wants the contractor to stay and finish the work. The discussion starts getting a little heated. The contractor says, "You know, when I was working for Donald Trump, he would put $10 000 on the table as a bonus and we would work through the night and get the job done. Why don't you do that?" The developer glances across the construction site and says, "Well, we don't have a table".
Retirement bonus
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points of his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.
He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,'From the tip of my w**... to my t**....' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to
go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's w**... and began to work back.
"Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are your t**...?''
The old Chief calmly replied, ''Vietnam''.
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