Wore Jokes
102 wore jokes and hilarious wore puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wore that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Wore Short Jokes
Short wore jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wore humour may include short wears jokes also.
- Superman once went to a party. Some people wore bitcoin suits, other dogecoin. Superman was upset, no one told him it was a crypto night.
- Did you hear about the cowboy who wore a hat made of paper towels? He had a bounty on his head.
...I'll see myself out. :-/ - I've never understood why homophobics wore clothes because clothes come out of the closet and that's gay
- Do you know why the Little Mermaid wore seashells? Because she was too small for D shells.
- Did you know Steve Irwin would still be alive if he wore sunscreen? It protects from deadly rays.
- Those push-up bras aren't very good, are they? I wore my wife's to the gym this morning and I still couldn't manage more than six.
- It was mine and my wife's 25th wedding anniversary the other day and she said to me "Did you know i wore this on our first date and it still fits me"... I said "Its a scarf"...
- I wore a pink t-shirt out the other night and my girlfriend said I looked like a Flamingo.. So I had to put my foot down.
- I asked my friend why he only wore a mask when he was in church. He said his doctor advised him to wear them religiously.
- I wore my "Gandalf for President" shirt to the comic convention. It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration.
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Wore One Liners
Which wore one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wore? I can suggest the ones about worn and wearing tight.
- Why is the hipster sweating? Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.
- If only Steve Irwin wore sunglasses They might have protected him from harmful rays
- If only Steve Irwin wore sun screen. He could have been protected from harmful rays.
- I lost my new underwear... ...I only wore them briefly.
- Did you hear about the scottish drag queen? He wore pants.
- I asked a nun why she wore the same costume everyday. She said, "It's a habit."
Sorry - I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target. tldr, I'm covering for Gary this weekend.
- Why was Minecraft the movie cancelled? Because all of the actors wore blockface.
- You can't be woke all the time. Even Fredrick Douglas wore cotton.
- In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it.
- I just wore an outfit made of tyre/tires it was attire.
which part?
entire - The missus wore a right slinky number last night! Looked amazing coming down the stairs!
- I wore my golf socks today There's a hole in one
- Yo mom a so fat she wore a Malcolm x shirt and a helicopter landed on her.
- Adam and Eve If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear?
A hole in it!
Wore Dresses Jokes
Here is a list of funny wore dresses jokes and even better wore dresses puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wouldn't say my wife was fat....... .....but she wore a white dress to the cinema last night and they showed the film on her back!
- Your momma's so fat, last time she wore a glitter dress... ... the Hubble telescope thought it had discovered a new galaxy.
- Do you remember the time Lady Gaga wore a dress made entirely out of meat? I'm sure the press grilled her for days.
- A boys father wore a see-through dress He was trans-parent
Wore Outfit Jokes
Here is a list of funny wore outfit jokes and even better wore outfit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wore a new outfit and asked my dad "How do i look?" He replied: "With your eyes, son"
- I wore my superhero outfit today and I'm not sure why everyone was staring at me. I thought it was conventional attire.
Howlingly Hilarious Wore Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about wore you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean required wear jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wore pranks.
I was at a football game. Sold out stadium, but the guy next to me had an empty seat next to himself...
...As the game wore on, I asked him "Who's seat is that?" He looked at me sadly and said "That was my wife's seat but she passed away."
"I'm sorry to hear that." I replied. "You don't have any other family that might want to come to the game with you?" He shook his head and said "Nah... they're all at the f**..."
In honor of Lent . . .
It was a young couple's wedding night and as the night wore on the bride grew more and more anxious to consumate their marriage. Finally she said, "Um, honey? It's getting late and aren't we going to - well - do it?" "I can't," said her husband, "it's Lent." "It's lent?!" she exclaimed. "That's ridiculous! To who and for how long?"
Lucky Numbers
There was this man by the name of Mr Five.
His lucky number was, not surprisingly, 5.
He was 55 years old, ate 5 times a day, always brought with him $55 in his wallet and always wore a shirt with 5 pockets.
One day, he saw a horse by the name of Lucky Five was racing.
He bet $5555.55 on the horse.
After 5 hours the results are out.
Sure enough the horse comes in fifth.
Lipstick Girls
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
2 monsters started talking
2 monsters were talking, one said he loved eating humans, the other disagreed. the first monster asked how he was cooking his humans. The second answered "I boiled him."So the first monster then asked if the second could describe the human he was trying to cook the second responded with "well, he was bald with a ring of hair, he wore a brown robe, with a rope around his waist like a belt." The second monster replied "well there's your problem! He was a FRIAR"
The Paper Cowboy
A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whisky. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"
The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," said the bartender, "he always wore a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."
"How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," answered the bartender.
Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive?
He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve.
Mahatma Ghandi never wore shoes...
Gandhi never wore shoes, and so his feet were always covered in loads of callouses and blisters. And because he never ate food, he was always very frail. Furthermore his fasting caused him to have horrible breath. So...
I guess you could say he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
So there was a monk...
This particular monk could only eat garlic for his religious diet, which made him EXTREMELY weak, and also gave him bad breath. Also, like most other monks he wore no shoes, which gave him many callouses.
This made him a "super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis."
Ode to Hillary
Ode to Hillary
There was a crooked woman, and she wore a crooked smile
She found a crooked dollar and she dodged a crooked trial
She bought a crooked server, and wed a crooked spouse
And they all lived together in a little crooked house
When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring...
When she was in a good mood, it turned blue.
When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead...
Wore an orange suit for the first time today...
I stand by my convictions.
Why weren't there any famous gun slingers in the Canadian West?
Because they all wore mittens.
Once, there was a monk
This monk wore no shoes, so his feet became really, really, tough. He also ate a diet consisting of only garlic, which made him weak and gave him bad breath.
This made him a *super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-with-halitosis*
A Hanes commercial came on while I was watching T.V. with my daughter. She turned and said, "oh please Dad, don't act like you never wore tighty w**......
I responded, "Yes, there was a brief period."
I went into surgery yesterday
After the anesthesia wore off the nurse said if I didn't pee within 2 days to go to the ER. To help, she recommended sitting in a warm bath and peeing in there. I told her "No problem, I've been doing that since I was 2"
Why did Billie Joe Armstrong smell so nice whilst walking down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams?
He wore cologne, he wore cologne.
A friend of mine came up to me earlier and asked if I wore deodorant
I told him it was a *Secret*
Wife: I said any fantasy. I wore the police uniform, isn't that enough?!
Me: No, no. Now say the words.
Wife: Fine!!
Me: .....
Wife: Sir, I have bad news about your wife
Blonde painting a house
Did you hear about the blonde who wore two jackets when she painted the house?
The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats."
Mary had a little skirt It was slit right up the sides... And every time she wore that skirt.... The boys could see her thighs.... Mary had another skirt It was slit right up the front....
But she never wore that one.
So yesterday I wore a costume....
I am a male and I wore a see through shirt and pants. I completed my ensemble with a stuffed bra, long haired wig and lipstick. I pushed a baby doll around all night in a stroller holding the baby bottle....
I was a transparent transparent.
Why did the s**... cross the street?
I wore the wrong sock this morning.
Let's play name the title
Jokes are reposted so many times here, so name the titles of these punchlines
1. Ones a hippo and ones a little lighter
2. How far do you think I can kick this bucket?
3. Obviously not
4. But it wasn't stroganoff
5. Sam sung note 7
6. Measles
7. We went out and had a few drinks. Cool guy, wanted to become a web designer.
8. I wore the wrong sock this morning
9. Unless everyone gets them
10. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for life.
I just bought the gloves O.J. Simpson wore during his trial for $60,000
Turns out they didn't fit.
Eve wore a fig leaf in the garden but what did Adam wear?
He wore a hole in that fig leaf.
I worked with a guy on a building site...
I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.
As a social experiment, I wore a fat suit for 1 month.
It was a test to see what it was like to be your mom.
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring
The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it every day.
I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
Running culture has gotten weird
Back in my day we wore running shoes and shorts and just tried our best, but I showed up to a 3K and all the people were in hoods and robes and they were all super unpleasant.
A police artist is drawing a sketch.
Police artist: "So, he had grey hair, grey eyes, grey shoes, medium build, no glasses and wore a grey suit."
Dog: "Correct!"
I wore neon green to a f**....
It was a hue mistake.
Ghandi never wore shoes...
...so he had thick skin on his feet. He was quite a weak man, though spiritual. And because of his poor diet, he often had bad breath.
You could say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed with halitosis.
I knew a detective who always wore a cat costume.
One day I asked him why.
He told me "I am always in purrsuit."
How did the s**... cross the road?
I wore the wrong socks.
Fun with rhymes.
If plants wore pants would plants try to dance? If plants tried to dance would plants have a chance if plants wore pants and you took a glance? If plants wore pants would they joust with a lance? If plants had a lance would the blow hit or glance? If plants were advanced and wore pants and danced they would be firmly rooted in their anti vegan stance.
Btw I have way too much time on my hands.
I was by my friends side when he died on a trail in the woods. With his last ounce of strength he reached out and put the necklace he wore everywhere in my hands. The look on his face was desperate and serious, he really wanted me to have it...
And that's why I wear this epipen around my neck.
Mary had a little dress
With slits all up the sides
And every step that Mary took
The boys could see her thighs.
\~\~\~
Mary had another dress
With slits all up the front
\--But she never wore that one.
Why did the s**... cross the road?
Because I wore the wrong socks this morning
Why did the s**... cross the road...
Coz somebody wore the wrong socks today.
Napoleon wore a red shirt so no one could see him bleed if he was shot.
h**... wore brown pants
Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan who didn't wear aftershave
Yul never wore cologne
You know Steve Irwin would still be alive if he wore sunscreen.
Would have protected him from the harmful rays.
Why did the s**... cross the road
Because I wore the wrong pair of socks today
A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit. Paper hat, paper jacket, paper pants and chaps, everything he wore was made of paper.
He wasn't in town five minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
The only people that care about what women wear are women and non-hetero men.
The rest of us would be happier if women wore nothing.
The CW's Batwoman wore a red wig as a part of her costume, but that was just a misdirect...
A red "hairring", if you will
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it all the time to show how much it meant to me.
One day, I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately they told me that my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
Criminal suspect identification.
Police detective: 'What can you remember about your mugger?'
Victim: 'He was slim built, with dark hair and wore a cap.'
Police detective: 'Anything else you remember?'
Victim: 'He had a moustache, about 6 foot 2.'
Police detective: That's one h**... of a moustache
Here's one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans
Hall of Famer Al Kaline wore #6 throughout his career, which actually makes him slightly acidic.
I stand against women who don't wear bras
As much as I was behind those who wore leggings.
Thoughtful Gesture
N Y Governor Cuomo assured the public that he always wore his face mask while s**... harassing his accusers
I wore a harp costume to a Halloween party.....
I wore a harp costume to a Halloween party, but my girlfriend thought it was too small. She called me a Lyre.
Boxers or Briefs, Mr. President?
In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? Clinton replied, "Boxers"
In 2008 US magazine asked Obama, "Boxers or briefs"? Obama declined to answer the question.
Last week AARP asked Joe Biden, "Boxers or briefs"? Biden responded, "Depends".
Did you hear about the guy who wore sunglasses at night and fell into a hole in the ground?
He couldn't see that well.
An elderly woman is going through some old boxes of clothes.
She picks out an item, turns to her husband of forty years and says Look dear, I wore this when we first started dating and i can't believe it still fits.
The husband replies Yes honey, you've always liked that scarf.
