Words Pronounce Jokes
50 words pronounce jokes and hilarious words pronounce puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about words pronounce that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Words Pronounce Short Jokes
Short words pronounce jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The words pronounce humour may include short pronounce jokes also.
- How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer? Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".
- Why do British people pronounce the word Bri'ish like they do? Because they drank all the T.
(Told to me by my 11yo) - I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
- When British people pronounce words like Water they say it like Wuh-er . So what happened to the T? They drank it
- How do you tell the difference between a seamstress and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce the word "sewer".
- Sugar is the only word in English language in which "Su" is pronounced as "Shu". I am pretty sure about it.
- How do you tell the difference between an adult film star and a psychiatrist? Ask them to pronounce the word analyzed.
- How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a chemical factory worker? Write down the word *'unionized'* and ask them to pronounce it.
- TIL That Elbillug is the only word that is pronounced the same forward and backward. Well, that and Rekcus.
- To pronounce the word, Queue ,you only have to pronounce the letter Q because.... ...All the other letter are waiting in line
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Words Pronounce One Liners
Which words pronounce one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with words pronounce? I can suggest the ones about pronunciation and words phrases.
- Some say the "e" in the word "subtle" is silent But I just pronounce it subtly.
- How do you pronounce oddly spelt Welsh words? Caerphilly
- How do you tell a chemist from a welder? Ask them to pronounce the word "unionised"
- Dont know how to say the word GIF? Just prounounce the G how its pronounced in gigantic
- Why is it so hard to pronounce words in Welsh? It is the language of Wales.
- Why don't Utahn's pronounce the letter T? It's against the word of wisdom
- What word is always pronounced wrong? Tell me anyone?
- What word do people always pronounce incorrectly? Incorrectly
Words Pronounce Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about words pronounce you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spell jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make words pronounce pranks.
An English teacher told his students that when pronouncing a word beginning with the letter "H" they should ignore the "H" as in hour, honor, and honest. That day when leaving for class, he left a note for his assistant, "Please heat my rice for me." When the teacher returned to his office, he met an empty bowl. He asked the assistant, "Where is my food?" The assistant replied, "You said I should heat the rice for you, but you also instructed us to ignored the 'H.'"
a wife and husband are taking a trip to...
a husband and wife wanted to take a trip somewhere. after much argument, they decided to go to Hawaii. on the flight there, they were arguing about the pronunciation of the word Hawaii. the wife insisted, "it's pronounced havaii." the husband argued, " NO! its hawaii!" they both agreed to ask the first person they see after they get off the plane.
when they get off, they ask a man the name of the island. the man replies "havaii." "I TOLD YOU!" the wife gloats. "thank you, sir!" she smirks. the man tips his hat and replies "you're velcome."
EDIT-got help from my brother. i s**... at writing.
A Finnish WWII air force verteran was about to give a talk to an American high school.
He was stereotypically Nordic: pale skin, fair hair, and a heavy accent.
He introduced himself and began with a vivid description of his first dogfight in the Lapland War. "Literally the moment after we take off and got through the fog we saw them. Eight pesky Fokkers were spread out and firing in front of me and my buddies. We had to go in defense position and try to outflank them, but they got flight leader. On second approach we shot a few down and dispersed the rest. On third approach I shot two Fokkers down, but another one got me in the rudder. I went into tail spin and had to bail out. Luckily the f**...-"
The principal of the school suddenly interjected, as at this point nearly everyone was laughing. "Now, students, please be respectful of our guest and where he is from. As some of you may know, a Fokker," the principal said slowly, carefully pronouncing the word, "is a type of German fighter plane used in World War II. There is no need to-"
The Finn had to interrupt, "Excuse me Mr. Principal, actually Fokker is Dutch. We were shooting down Messerschmitts."
An old man goes to the Wizard
...to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the *exact* words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Why isn't the word gangster pronounced [Jang-ster]?
Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'
Man goes to a wizard
A man goes to see a wizard and says:
"Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
"Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"
The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
Did you know Canada was initially spelled Cnd?
But when they pronounced it, the word came out "C-eh" "N-eh" "D-eh"
A local radio station
A local radio station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96FM here, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, me name's Dave."
DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"
Caller: "Goan... spelt, G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'."
DJ: "... You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"
Caller: "Goan f$&k yourself!"
The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ: "96FM, what's your name?"
Caller: "Hi, me name's Jeff."
DJ: "Jeff, what's your word?"
Caller: "Smee... spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'."
DJ: "... You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"
Caller: "Smee again! Goan f**k yourself!"
Why do the French not pronounce "h" at the beginning of words?
*with a French accent* Because they hate it.
A man meets a witch.
A man goes to a witch and asks her to be liberated from an old spell.
>I can help you, I do however, need to know the exact same words of said spell
I remember, it was: *I now pronounce you, husband and wife.*
So I was teaching my brother English...
I told him to skip the first "H" when reading or pronouncing words (e.g. honour, hour, honest etc.) Later that day I told him to heat my lunch in the microwave... let's just say I didn't have any lunch.
How do you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist?
Ask them to pronounce the following word:
"U-N-I-O-N-I-Z-E-D"
My wife told me to hurry home for a q**....
Turns out she has trouble pronouncing the word quiche.
The key to pronouncing a word in French
...is to try to say it the way it's written, and then surrender halfway through.
The latest report from Mars indicates the presence of large ring structures of precious stones and a dusting of glitter almost everywhere
Apparently, efforts are underway to tiara-form the planet.
(I do apologize for this. I happen to hear someone pronounce this word rather frequently and this is what I keep imagining they are meaning. Along with some deposits of sass, pageantry and frills.)
What is the hardest word in the English language to pronounce?
Ans: **This**
(*There's no easy way to say this*)
A man walks into a coffee shop and asks for a latte. Having never seen the word before, he mistakenly pronounces it "la tea".
The barista replies, "Sorry, my musical knowledge only goes so fa".
How do you tell the difference between a nurse and a lawyer?
By how they pronounce the word invalid.
Did you know there's a word in Norwegian for describing the act of crying while m**...?
It's really difficult to pronounce so I can't remember the word, but it's a real tear-jerker.
My dad tried to translate a joke from Spanish to English once.
His English translation:
There was a man driving his Mercedes on a deserted road at night. He reached an old rickety bridge that didn't look strong enough to hold his car. He got out and went to inspect the bridge, and stomped all the way to the other side to make sure it was safe. He decided it was, and turned back to his car and said Mercedes, come.
That's is that's the joke.
Fun fact, in Spanish, the word for -come- is ven and in Spanish, the v sound is pronounced more like the b sound. Mercedes Benz... get it.
Not all jokes translate well.
A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"
The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
So, a man goes to see a Wizard...
and asks "Can you lift a curse a Priest put on me years ago?"
Maybe, says the wizard. Can you remember the Priests exact words ?
Yes replied the man, they were "I now pronounce you Man and Wife"
The joke I always think of when asked what's your favourite joke?
Didja hear about the Cutlery Gang downtown? They've started pronouncing the silent 'k' in words. Those kniving b**...!
"Cell" and its derivatives (Cellular, Cellulose, Cellulite, etc.) are the only English words where the C is pronounced like an S.
At least, I'm pretty certain.