Word Play Jokes
112 word play jokes and hilarious word play puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about word play that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Word Play Short Jokes
Short word play jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The word play humour may include short wordplay jokes also.
- My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary? A play on words.
- Playing Scrabble is like talking to women... You spend the whole time looking at the rack trying to form words.
- Have you ever seen Puns: The Musical? If not, you really should. It's a great play on words.
- My school did a performance last year called "The Dictionary" Turns out it was just a play on words.
- Now that there is a musical about Alexander Hamilton, I'm going to make a Musical about the founding of the Webster's English Dictionary It's going to be a play on words
- Have you seen the new broadway production about the dictionary? It's a great play on words.
- You child is playing with wires and is getting electrocuted, what can you do? Ground him until he can conduct himself properly.
First word in title should be "your" - I went to the theatre today, the stage was covered in random phrases... I guess it was a 'play on words'
- Dramatic performance I once had a dramatic performance on the subject of puns, but then I realized it was just a play on words.
- A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke. The joke wasn't there because it was busy parking the car
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Word Play One Liners
Which word play one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with word play? I can suggest the ones about play on words and play on word.
- Romeo & Juliet.doc... ...is a play on Word.
- My son is rehearsing for a part as a dictionary It's going to be a play on words
- I wrote a script about the dictionary for my local theatre It's a play on words.
- I'm starring in a new theater production about puns It's a play on words
- How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
- Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website! - Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop. - I once wrote an entire theater production based on puns. It was a play on words.
- What are the best kind of letters to read in hot weather? Fan mail.
- Q: Why did the kid throw the butter out the window?
A: To see the butter fly! - Q: Why are there no televisions in Afghanistan?
A: Because of the Telly-ban! - So I went to a production about puns today... ...it was basically just a play, on words.
- Q: What is the king of all inches?
A: The ruler. - My girlfriend just saw a musical about etymology She said it was a word play
- What do you call a cake made out of hamburgers? A patty cake!
Playful Word Play Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about word play you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean play on names jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make word play pranks.
Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.
Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose.
Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.
Q. Why did the apple run away?
A. Because the banana split!
Q: What do you call a T-Rex's bruise? A: A dino-sore.
Q: What does a lawyer wear to work?
A: A law suit.
A drunk staggers out of a bar and lets go of a loud belch just as a couple are walking in the door. The man yells at the drunk, "How dare you belch before this woman!" The drunk says, "I'm sorry! I didn't know she wanted to go first."
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.
What do you call a piece of cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese.
Why are buildings called buildings if they're finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Q: What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?
A: A walnut.
Q: What do you call a snail who likes to sail?
A: A snailor!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
19 Irishmen go to a cinema. Ticket lady says, "Why are there so many of you here tonight?" m**... replies, "The fillm says 18 and over, miss."
Q: What do you give a pig who wins a medal at the Olympic games?
A: A pork medallion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke is like s**.... Neither is any good if you don't get it.
Q: What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A: A buck an ear (buccaneer).
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Chicken your pockets. I think the keys are in there.
Q: What do you call a girl with one leg?
A: Aileen.
Have you heard about the crime in multi-story parking decks? It's just wrong on so many levels.
Q: Why did was the Mexican fast food vendor arrested?
A: He was planning a tacover.
A Spanish man who doesn't speak English says to a Mexican woman, "Lady, I want to make the love with you," and she says, "Mande?" and he says, "No Monday, today."
A man said to his friend, "Want to hear a joke about butter?" His friend said, "Sure." The man said, "Nah, I butter not tell you. You might spread it."
It'd be frustrating if you seriously couldn't find your friend Marco at a crowded swimming pool.
Did you hear about the dyslexic traffic cop who spent the weekend handing out IUD's?
Q: Have you heard the joke about the trash can?
A: It’s rubbish!
Where do you find a Zebra?
25 letters after A-Brah.
What did the mamma tomato say to the baby tomato? "Catch up!!!"
A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess...
The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. "If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day," the teacher explains. "Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. "Well," Tommy begins, "I played in the sand box with Suzy!" "Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word 'sand' I'll give you a gold star." So Tommy goes up to the board, spells 'sand' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks Suzy, "Suzy, what'd you do for recess today?" So Suzy answers, "like Tommy said, we played in the sand box together." "Okay," the teacher thinks, "if you can come up to the board and spell 'box' I'll give you a gold star. So Suzy spells 'box' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks the third student, "Tyrone, what'd you do for recess today?" "Well I wanted to play in the sand box with Tommy and Suzy but they wouldn't let me," Tyrone answers. "Oh no!" says the teacher, "That's terrible! Do you know what that's called? That's called 'racial discrimination.' If you can come up to the board and spell 'racial discrimination' I'll give you a gold star."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day a dad gets a call and is told his son has been using dirty language.
When he gets home that night, he sits down with his son.
"Son," he says, "You know this isn't acceptable behavior. Now I want you to tell me all the dirty words you know."
His son says "Well Dad, I know the S word, I know the B word, and I know the M word."
His dad asks "What's the S word?"
His son says "s**...."
The father is taken aback but pushes on. He asks "OK, what's the B word?"
His son says "Bad."
His father is starting to feel relieved and a faint smile is playing at his lips. With a kind, fatherly smile he asks "And what's the M word?"
His son says "MotherwhoringSpicnigger."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last day for your taxes
A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's t**... and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's t**..., the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
What do you call a Psychic Compromise?
A Happy Medium.
Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Paraprosdokians
*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....
What's the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff's Notes?
A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays
Play on Words
I really want to come up with a play on words but I don't know how it will do in front of an audience.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...
*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.
The woman ignores him.
*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*
The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the first question.
*"What is the distance between Earth and the Moon?"*
The woman hands him $5. Now it's her turn.
*"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"*
The lawyer is astonished. He frantically surfs the Internet, searches his pocket encyclopedia and asks his scientist friends. He finds nothing. Hours later, when finally giving up looking for the answer, he wakes the woman, hands her $50 and asks:
*"So, what is the answer?"*
Without saying a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.
**
My Grandfather's Favorite Joke [word play]
A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.
A group of actors performed an on stage reading of the Oxford dictionary.
The audience wasn't too enthralled with a play on words.
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer
were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend
and he's a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.
I caught my girl cheating with my best friend on my new leather couch...
Of course I yelled at him.. He's not allowed on the couch.
(Made this one up this morning.. Still playing with the wording)
Making an analogy that references itself is like good word play.
You don't do it anytime you want. You have to have a good reason to go metaphor.
I asked my brother why he was taking a dictionary and thesaurus to his theater rehearsal.
He said it was a play on words.
I recently saw a Broadway production about the origin of language
It was just a play on words
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Silly Grandad
Johns Grandad comes over to look after him for the day. John goes outside and plays with the neighbors kid, a bit later he comes in and asks "Grandad, whats it called when two people sleep in one room one on top of the other?" Grandad replies "I've got to be honest with you, you are 8 now, its called i**... and thats how you make babys." ten minutes later John returns "Freds mum said its called bunkbeds, and she needs a word with you"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My daughter was playing hopscotch by herself...
So my daughter was playing hopscotch, and recited the words "*Step on a crack, and break your mother's back"
And then my wife's back bent over, I then shouted at her to stop playing, but she continued and then recited "*Step on a line and break your father's spine*"
And then the neighbor next door shouted in agony with his back bent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Light a man a fire...
Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man afire and he'll be warm the rest of his life. (I know it's a repost, but I've never seen the play on words, shame)
"Hey, you know where there's a theater around here?"
The man responds "Yeah, just around the corner and a block down. You plan on seeing a performance?"
The blonde answers "Yep, a friend told me about a comedic play called 'Puns', apparently is based around words, whatever that means."
"Wait, what exactly did your friend tell you?"
"That he really likes 'Puns': a funny play on words"
The President-Elect has recently begun learning how to play bridge with the help of master bridge players. it turns out, the President-Elect's plays are far superior to those of his peers. In other words...
Trump's trumps trump Trump's trumps' trumps.
Hey, do you guys know the name of that theatrical performance of the Dictionary?
All I know is that it was a play on words...
"Dad, how did you come up with my brother's name, 'Legab'?"
"Is it a variation of 'Gabriel' or something?"
"Ah... no sweetie. As you know, your Mom loves bagels so we decided to play with that word".
"Oh... ok. Thanks, Dad!"
"You're welcome, Lana".
Once I performed a stage show that was nothing but puns.
The critics panned it as merely being a "play on words".
I was playing scrabble and my dad played the word 'stneve'
Needless to say, it was an unexpected turn of events.
If my theater troupe and I perform on stage and use the dictionary as our script...
...is it a play on words?
There was a Broadway performance about puns...
But don't get too excited. It was just a play on words.
Donald Trump really loves word games.
If you listen to his speech patterns, it's clear that he's playing Mad Libs.
I was invited to Broadway show called Vocabulary and I had to go.
I never pass up a good play on words.
What do they say about a guy who takes credit for other's witty word play?
He has puns of steal.
2 spies in an interrogation room
The interrogator sat in front of them and asked for names.
Spy A says to the other
"Whatever you do, dont say a word"
A few seconds later Spy B said
"Fdugyop"
The Spy A looked at Spy B and said
"what did just say?"
Spy B replied
"Oh when we played scrabble you said '*thats not a word*' and NOW its a word"
I want to write a show called "Pun". I'll have the script printed out and taped to the floor of the set.
It'll be a play on words.
So apparently Pun was a movie from 1998.
Wait, scratch that, it's actually a play on words.
In 8th grade english class I wrote a script titled "The Pun"
The very first set description in the script said that the stage was to be painted over with random words and phrases.
When I handed in the assignment, my teacher came up to me and asked: "Why is your script titled 'The Pun' and why is the floor covered with phrases?"
"Because my script is a play on words!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A nights work...
A guy meets a s**... worker in a bar.
She says, "Hey, tonight is your lucky night. I've got a very special game for us to play. Tonight I'll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy replies, "Hey, why not?, you're on" So he proceeds to put £300 on the bar from his wallet, and says to the s**... worker slowly. "Paint…my….house."
Did you know that Shakespeare once made a performance about puns?
It was a play on words.
My brother has been writing a stage drama about a dictionary and a thesaurus. I'm really looking forward to it.
I love a play on words.
