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Word Jokes

188 word jokes and hilarious word puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about word that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Word Short Jokes

Short word jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The word humour may include short verb jokes also.

  1. Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words? Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
  2. A man in an interrogation room says I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present. Cop: You are the lawyer.
    Lawyer: Exactly, so where's my present?
  3. When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word... ...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
  4. Student: Are well and actually both single-syllable words? Teacher: Well yes , but actually no
  5. Ever wonder how a Jehovah's Witness spreads their word during Covid? Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
  6. I heard my son say his first words to me today... "where have you been the last 20 years?"
  7. Pablo Escobar was being informed on by local children. Mortally wounded by police gunfire, his last words to them were: "I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you Medellín kids"
  8. TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. At least, I'm pretty sure...
    FP
  9. People who don't understand the difference between... People who don't understand the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can't put into words.
  10. I just bought a thesaurus and when I got it home, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

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Word One Liners

Which word one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with word? I can suggest the ones about phrase and dictionary.

  1. I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell Looking at it now, I see why
  2. Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence
  3. I'll never forget my dog's last words "You've taken too much acid."
  4. I finally got an A on my essay! Only 1999 more words to go.
  5. Interviewer - Okay, describe yourself in 3 words Lazy
  6. I just realized that the word seven has 'even' in it. That's odd.
  7. Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.
  8. i invented a new word! its called plagiarism
  9. What's a three letter word that starts with gas? Car
  10. The sonicare toothbrush is named after the words I never heard my father say.
  11. Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble. You have my Word.
  12. My professor accused me of plagiarism His words, not mine.
  13. What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
  14. What word means the same thing with several letters added? Mailbox
  15. Who swore the most in star wars? R2-D2, they beeped out every word he said

One Word Jokes

Here is a list of funny one word jokes and even better one word puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Edgar Allen Poe is about to walk into a tree and you only have enough time to say one word before he hits it. What should you say to him? Poetry!
  • What one word really makes a woman open up and want to talk about everything on their mind? "goodnight."
  • Why is Communism one of the most ironic words? It's Capitalized
  • My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
  • 'Describe yourself with one word', my employer asked. 'Bad with numbers'
  • Some one has stolen my thesaurus. I can't find the words to describe how angry i am.
  • Harassment. So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"
  • If I had to describe myself in one word... ...it would be "bad at following directions."
  • One exotic bird can't take over the word on its own But toucan
  • I can only think of one word with three U's in it. That's unusual. Really.

Word Of The Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny word of the day jokes and even better word of the day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Should we create an English word for the 'day after tomorrow'? Or would that be too forward thinking?
  • My wife hasn't said a word to me in 6 days. What's even better is, she thinks it's punishment.
  • There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . . Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
  • People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in a way I can't put into words thank you for making my day, u/happy_guy23
  • The word of the day is "legs" Wanna come over and spread the word?
  • Mexican word of the day: wheelchair Theirs only 1 taco left, so wheel chair.
  • I had a job interview the other day and the interviewer says to me 'How would you usually describe yourself at work?' I said 'With words, but today I'm going to use interpretive dance'
  • When i was a kid, my father said he wanted me to be an autodidact. I asked him what that word meant.
    He told me to look it up.
    Happy Father's Day, everyone!
  • I've spent the day in a German police station. Word to the wise… Don't go hailing a taxi in Germany like you do in other countries.
  • Ghetto Word Of The Day: Cologne "Ay, you think you cologne me a dollar or two?"

Two Word Jokes

Here is a list of funny two word jokes and even better two word puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for people Push and pull
  • I can sum up 2016 in four words Two thousand and sixteen
  • I was asked to describe the last two us presidents in 5 words Orange is the new black
  • Do you know what two words can wreck a man's life? I do.
  • I asked Yoda for a two word review of Les Miserables "Lame is."
  • To all the people who say 'JIF', I've got two words for you: Jraphics Interchange Format
  • I can descirbe myself in just two words. Lazy.
  • I know Karate... ...And like two other Japanese words.
  • What are the two saddest words of the English Language? 'What party? '
  • what two words have all the letters... Post Office

Three Word Jokes

Here is a list of funny three word jokes and even better three word puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Who was that?
  • I asked my German friend, What's a three letter word for compete? Friend: Vie.
    Me: Because I'm trying to finish a crossword.
  • If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be? Lazy.
  • What's the worst three little words a man can hear from a woman? Is it in ?
  • I knew she was the one for me, and after 6 months of pursuing her, last night she said those three little words. That's him, officer!
  • I went for a job interview and the asked me to state my biggest weakness in three words 'Not very good at maths' I replied
  • What are the three words you never want to hear when making love? "Honey, I'm home!"
  • Which three words contains the most letters? The post office.
  • My mom told me this joke the first time she met my gf. What are three 2 letter words meaning small?
    Is it in?
  • I'll describe myself in three words. I am a rebel.
Word joke, I'll describe myself in three words.

Comical & Quirky Word Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about word you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wort jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make word pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Man, on a first date: How do you feel about s**...? Woman: I like it infrequently.

Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I know the word diputserom sounds bad,

but its more s**... backwards

"You haven't listened to a word I've said."

Strange way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.

A boy and his dad.

A boy and his dad are walking through the streets
boy: "What does the word drunk mean?"
dad: "Well, for example, do you see those two policemen over there? if you were drunk you would think there are four policemen over there."
boy: "But dad there is only one policeman over there!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How do you get three old ladies to say the "F" word?

Yell "BINGO!"

I overheard my 14 year old daughter telling this joke to a friend.

-"Every time I say something, you say the word addicted"

-"ok"
-"Drugs"
-"Addicted"
-"Alcohol"
-"Addicted"
-"What slapped you across the face last night? "
" Addicted"

A 35 year old man goes to the doctor and asks to be castrated...

The doctor looks at him for a minute and asks if he is sure. The man says yes, he's thought about it for some time and thinks its time to get it done. The doctor says alright, it's your body.
After the procedure, the man wakes up and the doctor comes over for a chat. He tells the man that while he was down there, he threw in a free circumcision.
Circumcision! the man exclaims. That's the word I was looking for.

I swear I just troll-dadded this on the spot when my daughter asked...

"Dad, what's a preposition?"

"A preposition is a word that you never, ever end a sentence with."

My Grandfather's Favorite Joke [word play]

A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

The U.N. initiates a poll...

The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".

My ex girlfriend and I had a safe word...

So when things would get a little too rough in the bedroom, she'd yell, "Marry me!" and I would pull out, leave her apartment, and not call her for a few weeks. Super safe.

*Teacher to Student* T: "Use the word 'centimeter' in a sentence"

S: "My grandma was arriving at the train station so i was centimeter"
T: "No, no, that's 'Sent to meet her'. Okay, try another one. Use 'contagious' in a sentence please"
S: "I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you...

You have my word

A philosopher, a linguist, and a physicist were asked, "Which of your three fields is the most useful?"

The philosopher said, "What do we mean when we use the word 'useful'?"
The linguist said, "What do *you* mean when you use the word 'useful'?"
The physicist laughed and said, "The answer can be inferred by the uselessness of the other answers."

If you were to write a direct, very short introduction for Microsoft Office's word processor, it might be a...

...forward four-word foreword for Word.

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said Can I have a word?

I invented a new word.

Plagiarism.
---
EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you.

Words can't describe how beautiful you are...

But numbers can.
2/10

Romeo & Juliet.doc...

...is a play on Word.

So a foreign exchange student asks me:

"Is the word "ee-ther" or "eye-ther?"
I told them it was either.

A teacher asks her class to use 'contagious' in a sentence

A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.
"Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.

Q: What word begins with M and ends in arriage and is a mans favourite thing?

A: Miscarriage
This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you..

You have my Word.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**......

A r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**.... Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.
Later, when his buddies at the bar ask what went wrong, he explains...
"If she ain't good enough for her daddy, her uncle, her brother, and her cousin, she ain't good enough for me!!"

An old Jewish man dies.

His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.
He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".

My phone just replaced the word "killed" with "kilt."

Well plaid, phone... Well plaid.

My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender"

I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine

Slavery is such an ugly word...

I prefer the term lifetime unpaid internship.

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library...

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library. The librarian who has taken good care of them for years and years is retiring. Understandably, the Dictionary and Thesaurus are both sad.
The Thesaurus says to the Dictionary "I can see how distraught you are."
The Dictionary responds "You don't even know the meaning of the word."
The Thesaurus then says "But I know what it's like."

I may not be able to use by the "N" word...

But at least I can say things like "Hey Dad", and "Thanks for the warning Officer!".

What is the longest word in the Spanish language?

Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll

What's the Russian word for no Wi-Fi?

Interniet

I really love the word "earth"

It means the world to me.

My friend and I started replacing the word 'in' with 'inside'.

For example, if we wanted to say, "it's in the fridge", we'd instead say "it's inside the fridge".
One day, my parents caught onto this. They asked me why I was saying "inside" instead of "in".
I responded,
"it's an inside joke".

The word queue does't have 4 silent letters...

They are just waiting their turn.
EDIT
oh haha didN't realise this got so many upvotes thanks guys :D is there a way to edit the title for the spelling error?

I was asked to submit a 1,000 word essay..

So I just submitted a picture instead.

"Your next spelling word is: beheaded."

Can you use it in a sentence please?
"Sure, Kathy Griffin beheaded to the unemployment office."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

r**......

Short word.
Long sentence.

Face is a four letter word.

But preface is a foreword letter.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

An older couple is getting married...

An older couple is getting married. The husband-to-be looks at his bride and asks, "What's your opinion on s**...?"
The bride says, "I prefer it infrequently."
The man replies, "Is infrequently one word or two?"

At the spelling bee

Judge: Your word is "there."
Me: In a sentence please.
Judge: They're parking their car over there.

A knight comes to the royal castle with a bag and asks for king's attention

He enters, and says "Your Majesty, I kept my word. Here's the head of the dragon!" and takes the head of the dragon out of the bag.
A royal advisor brings a bag to the king. The king replies "Well, then, I kept my word too. Here's the hand of the princess!"

This girl said she would go out with me if I knew a six letter word that's a synonym for "calm".

I said, "It's sedate."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

At a f**...

Me: "Do you mind if I say a word?"
Widow: "Please do."
Me: *clears t**...* "Plethora."
Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."

What's the most searched word on Bing?

Google

In an argument, a woman always has the last word.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

I'm still using Office 2010 ...

For lack of a better Word ...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Guys, I think my girlfriend might be a psychic.

Last night my phone died while I was out, so I used my brother's phone to call her.
And she answered, "What's up, s**...?" Before I even said a word!

What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics ?

Oops.

After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"

Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.
He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

To the person who stole my Microsoft Office Account...

I will find you. You have my word.

The word nun is just the letter n...

...doing a forward roll.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why do The Brit's still use 'u' in words like colour and armour ?

Because Rick Astley is British.

If someone wants to say the word "motel" backwards

Just letom.

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.
"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".
"I'll have an Americano," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"
The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for you, sir?" he asks the third man.
"I'm just wondering how I got here," the etiologist replies.

Today I discovered someone had stolen my activation for Microsoft Office...

I don't know who you but I will find you, you have my word.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Son asks his dad the meaning of the word gay

Dad, what does gay mean?
Well, it can mean two things. It can mean that a man is attracted to another man. Or it could mean happy.
Dad, are you gay?
No son, I'm married to your mother.

Old German joke

An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Is b**... one word...

or should I spread them apart?

I hate the word "xenophobia"

it just sounds so...foreign

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.

One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."

"The word of the day is 'contagious'" Said the teacher, "Who can use it in a sentence?"

Little Jenny stood up and said "My dad has a cold and said its contagious"
The teacher praised Jenny and ask for an example from another student.
Billy stood up and said "Miss, my mum has the flu, and I think its contagious"
Happy with Billy's response, the teacher asked for one more student to stand up and give an example.

Little Johnny stood up...
"Miss, my next door neighbour is painting his house with a 1 inch brush and my dad said its going to take the contagious."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A man walks up to the Widow at a f**... and asks if he can say a word.

"Of course", she replies.
The man plucks up the courage and says, "Bargain".
The Widow looks at him, teary eyed and says,
"Thank you so much, that means a great deal".

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?
Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.
Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?

One day, a lawyer finds a genie's lamp.

The lawyer rubs the lamp, and the genie comes out.
"You have three wishes," the genie says. "The only rule is that you can't wish for more wishes."
After thinking for a while, the lawyer finally says, "I wish the word *splork* were interchangeable with the word *wish*. Next, I wish your initial injunction pertained only to the concept of wishing paired with the particular word *wish* as opposed to the concept itself, which you were merely signifying with that word. Aaaaand I splork for infinite splorks."
The genie sighs and says, "This is why nobody likes lawyers."

Word joke, One day, a lawyer finds a genie's lamp.

jokes about word