The Best 65 Word Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Word jokes. There are some word plethora jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these word english word puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Word Jokes and Puns
Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
A man in an interrogation room says I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Cop: You are the lawyer.
Lawyer: Exactly, so where's my present?
When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word...
...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room
He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present."
"You are the lawyer," says the policeman.
"Exactly, so where's my present?"
Man, on a first date: How do you feel about sex? Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell
Looking at it now, I see why
Prison may be just one word
But to others, it's a whole sentence
I just discovered that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome...
Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing.
I just invented a new word:
plagiarism.
Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble.
You have my Word.
How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?
Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".
You can explore word consonant reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean word word play dad jokes. There are also word puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
*Teacher to Student* T: "Use the word 'centimeter' in a sentence"
S: "My grandma was arriving at the train station so i was centimeter"
T: "No, no, that's 'Sent to meet her'. Okay, try another one. Use 'contagious' in a sentence please"
S: "I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!"
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you...
You have my word
The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through
Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said Can I have a word?
I invented a new word.
Plagiarism.
---
EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you.
Words can't describe how beautiful you are...
But numbers can.
2/10
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot.
A teacher asks her class to use 'contagious' in a sentence
A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.
"Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you..
You have my Word.
A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin...
A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin. Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.
Later, when his buddies at the bar ask what went wrong, he explains...
"If she ain't good enough for her daddy, her uncle, her brother, and her cousin, she ain't good enough for me!!"
Yet another redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin...
A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin. Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.
Later, when his buddies see him sad at the bar they ask what went wrong, he explains...
"My mom just told me I'm adopted"
The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. 'Nothing' reversed is 'Gnihton'
which also means nothing
TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound.
At least, I'm pretty sure...
FP
This girl said she would go out with me if I knew a six letter word that's a synonym for "calm".
I said, "It's sedate."
Edgar Allen Poe is about to walk into a tree and you only have enough time to say one word before he hits it. What should you say to him?
Poetry!
At a funeral
Me: "Do you mind if I say a word?"
Widow: "Please do."
Me: *clears throat* "Plethora."
Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."
Guys, I think my girlfriend might be a psychic.
Last night my phone died while I was out, so I used my brother's phone to call her.
And she answered, "What's up, sexy?" Before I even said a word!
I don't understand why white people can't say the N word
We invented it after all
Why do The Brit's still use 'u' in words like colour and armour ?
Because Rick Astley is British.
I've just made up a word...
Plagiarism.
If someone wants to say the word "motel" backwards
Just letom.
A woman is sitting at her husband's funeral listening to the eulogies being read...
A man in the pew behind her leans forward to ask, "Do you mind if I say a word?".
No, not at all, she replies.
The man stands and clears his throat.
Bargain", he says, and sits back down.
"Thank you", the woman responds, "it means a great deal."
An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.
"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.
"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".
"I'll have an Americano," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"
The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for you, sir?" he asks the third man.
"I'm just wondering how I got here," the etiologist replies.
Today I discovered someone had stolen my activation for Microsoft Office...
I don't know who you but I will find you, you have my word.
All of my friends told me that 'icy' is the easiest word to spell. And after looking at it...
**I see why.**
Old German joke
An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
Is buttcheeks one word...
or should I spread them apart?
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
Ever wonder how a Jehovah's Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
Did you know Vegetarian is a Native American word?
It means Lousy Hunter
I am Native American and this joke has been told to me a couple of times. Thought I'd share.
A woman is sitting at her recently deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, Do you mind if I say a word? . No, go right ahead , the woman replies.
The man stands, clears his throat, says Plethora , and sits back down.
Thanks , the woman says, that means a lot .
A man walks up to the Widow at a funeral and asks if he can say a word.
"Of course", she replies.
The man plucks up the courage and says, "Bargain".
The Widow looks at him, teary eyed and says,
"Thank you so much, that means a great deal".
Word is Hollywood executives are mad about Elliot Page transitioning from a woman to a man...
Now they'll have to pay him 20% more...
"Mansplain" is a terrible word to use
because it has more letters than explain and is therefore more difficult for women to understand.
It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or
When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child
Why do British people pronounce the word Bri'ish like they do?
Because they drank all the T.
(Told to me by my 11yo)
Who swore the most in star wars?
R2-D2, they beeped out every word he said
A German boy never uttered a single word growing up.
Then ,one day, aged 5, while sitting at breakfast, he looked up from his plate and said in perfect German - 'The toast is burnt'...to which the family were amazed at. 'You can speak, that's amazing, why have you never spoken until now?'
He replied: 'There was nothing wrong until now'
Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced
by a musical instrument.
Spelling bee judge: "Your word is 'seaward'."
Contestant: "C-U-N..."
Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP."
My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid.
Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them
In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back
Just found out that "Aaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh" isn't a real word.
I can't tell you how angry I am.
Should we create an English word for the 'day after tomorrow'?
Or would that be too forward thinking?
A man asked a widow if he could say a word at her husbands funeral. She said "Certainly."
He stood up and said "Plethora" , and the woman said "Thanks, that means a lot."
And another man stood up and said, "Bargain" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means a great deal."
Yet another stood up and said, "Earth" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means the world."
Yet another stood up and said, "Infinity" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means more than you can imagine."
Yet another stood up and said, "Being Alive" and the woman said, "Thanks, my husband would have loved that."
Another person simply held up a sprig of mentha spicata, and the widow said, "Thanks, that's a lovely scent of mint."
When I was a kid my mom used to say " Perdon my French" when she said any bad word.
I'll never forget the day in school when my teacher ask if could speak French.
Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . .
At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.
My 4-year-old has been learning Spanish all year and still can't say the word please
Which I think is poor for four.
Synonym is just another word for
Just another word for
What were the last words of a man executed by firing squad?
I hope you will miss me.
Interviewer: What is the one word that defines you?
Me: Pronoun
A guy walks up to the widow at her husband's funeral and says " May I just say one word?"
"Sure" she replies.
"Discount."
The widow says "Thank you. That means a great deal."
Prison may be just one word
But to some people, it's a long sentence.
what two words have all the letters...
Post Office
I came up with a new word.
I call it, plagiarism.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the word black word of the day jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working word chinese word piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.