Wool Jokes

87 wool jokes and hilarious wool puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wool that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the funniest jokes about wool and sheep! Laugh out loud with these animal-inspired puns, as well as side-splitting jokes about alpaca, pylon, and bah. Get ready for a fun-filled time with these classic wool jokes.

Funniest Wool Short Jokes

Short wool jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wool humour may include short sheep ewe jokes also.

  1. New zealand scientists have discovered two new uses for sheep... Meat and wool.
    (Exchange for Welshmen if need be)
  2. I tried to collect some wool and milk from my farm and the animals went crazy. It was shear and udder panic.
  3. Grandma said I she'd knit whatever I want if I pick the yarn... So I bought her some steel wool and asked her to knit me a car
  4. The scarf store A guy walks in to a scarf shop and asks what kind of scarves they sell.
    The owner replies "we have wool ones inside and cashmere outside, how bout dat?"
  5. did you know it takes 3 sheep to make a wool sweater? It's amazing. I didn't even know they could knit!
    waaaaaaka waka.
  6. What's a sheep farmer's favorite thing about Christmas? Fleece on Earth, Good Wool to Men.
  7. Where does steel wool come from? Hydraulic rams.
  8. For Sale: Soviet Wool Sweater Worn in Stalingrad, good condition.
    Bullet holes in back.
  9. They've recently discovered a brand new use for sheep in West Virginia... ... They're calling it "wool"...
  10. It's unlucky to glance over your shoulder while wearing a sweater made of rabbit wool... Don't look back in angora.

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Wool One Liners

Which wool one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wool? I can suggest the ones about wheat and silk.

  1. Breaking news: The Irish have come up with a new use for sheep. Wool.
  2. Where does steel wool come from? Dodge Rams.
  3. New Zealand scientists have discovered two new uses for sheep Meat and wool.
  4. Did you hear Wyoming has a new use for sheep? Wool
  5. What did mr t say when asked if he had any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags, fool.
  6. Which side of the sheep has more wool? Outside.
  7. I've been getting into trading socks recently You know, the ones on Wool Street.
  8. How did the nervous man feel after putting on his wool socks? Sheepish
  9. This morning Alabama announced they have discovered a new use for sheep. Wool.
  10. Did you hear? They found a new use for sheep in texas. Wool.
  11. What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot? Steel wool
  12. It seems that Montana has found a new use for sheep . . . Wool
  13. My mate is made completely out of matted wool fabric. He's felt better
  14. Why was the farmer so good at getting wool from his sheep? Sheer determination
  15. How did the farmer deal with the stubborn sheep's wool? With shear willpower

Sheep Wool Jokes

Here is a list of funny sheep wool jokes and even better sheep wool puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money? Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)
  • Which side of a sheep has the least wool? The inside.
  • My uncle came back from Scotland and said they found a new use for sheep... Wool.
  • Why didn't the shepard cut off his sheep's wool? Shear laziness.
  • What do you call wool from a sheep that's not yours? Steel wool
  • What did the evil sheep want to do? To wool the world
  • Did you hear about the rich sheep? He worked on Wool Street
  • How did the sheep know he was going to succeed? Where there's a wool there's a way.
  • I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
  • Did you hear Iraqis found a new us for sheep? Wool.

Steel Wool Jokes

Here is a list of funny steel wool jokes and even better steel wool puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Which falls faster, a ball of wool or a ball of steel? Neymar
  • Why does the farm robber have such a clean house? He likes to steel wool
  • Any help in making a gray t-shirt out of steel wool? Sorry, wrong thread.
  • Why did the klepto only knit metal sweaters? She had to...steel wool.
  • What can you get off with your finger that you can't get off with steel wool? Your girlfriend.
  • Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
    That's why his mullet never moves.
  • Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
  • How do you practice eating out a black woman? Steel wool and mayonnaise
Wool joke, How do you practice eating out a black woman?

Wool joke, How do you practice eating out a black woman?

Fun-Filled Wool Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about wool you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cotton jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wool pranks.

Did you guys hear that Old Navy has been using fake wool?

They can't pull the polyester over our eyes anymore!

Where does v**... wool come from?

Ugly sheep.

Where do you get v**... wool from?

Ugly sheep.

How do make a hipster sweat...

make 'em wear a wool sweater before it was cool.

How to get rich

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Billy at school

The teacher asks Billy, the first grader, questions about animals:
T: Billy, what do we get from pigs?
B: Meat
T: That's right! And what do we get from sheep?
B: Wool
T: Correct! And what do we get from cows?
B: Homework

Textile Mill Heist

Earlier today police apprehended a criminal who had loaded an industrial-sized loom and 10 cubic meters of wool onto a truck in an attempted robbery of a local textile factory.
Police became suspicious of the truck when they noticed the driver weaving all over the road.

What do you get when you wear wool socks in a tortilla chip factory?


The Woolies burnt down.

It's turned to Coles

What do you get if Woolworths burns down?


I told my friend that his curly brown hair closely resembles wool.

He looked sheepish.

What did Woolworths turn into after it burned down?


The boy was upset when he came home from school...

Mom I was sent home from school.
Why is that? ask the concerned mom.
First the teacher asked what you get from sheep. I said wool. Then she asked what you get from a pig. I said bacon. Then she asked what you get from a fat cow. I said homework.

Do you know from where the v**... wool comes from?

From the sheeps that can outrun the sheppard.

I was TAing an electrostatics lab.

The experiment was to see what happens when you rub wool on a bunch of rods of different materials and then bring the rods near scraps of paper. One student's lab report had this observation on what happens when you try to electrostatically charge up a metal rod and bring it near paper: paper remains stationery

What do you get when Woolies burns down? (One for the Aussies)


I got to the UK with a ship.

When I reached Cheriton, I had to dry off the wool.

I ate some tangled up wool.

I s**... ewe knot

I once ate a wool scarf.

I s**... ewe knot.

An Englishman, an African and an American decide they want to jump off of a building.

They climb up one. The Englishman looks down and says: "It's too high, I won't jump.", the African says: "Vool, vool, not jump.". The American jumps without thinking, nearly kills himself and yells: "My a**... wool, concrete!"
(I tried to translate this from Czech as best as I could)

Little Timmy is skiing on a mountain with his family

At a certain point, he decides that it would be nice if he impressed his mother, so he shouts: "look mom, without hands!", then proceeds to drop the ski poles on the snow and go down.
After he manages to return on the top, he shouts again: "look mom, without seeing!" then puts his wool hat on his eyes and go down, but he crashes against a tree out of his family's sight.
Then he returns again up, and shouts to his mother: "look mom, without teeth!"

Medieval Yo Mama joke

Saw this joke today, it's from the 1400's
A young Florentine was going down to River Arno with one of
those nets in which they wash wool, and met a frolicsome boy,
who, out of fun, asked him what birds he was going to catch with
that net of his? "I am going to the Brothel's outlet," replied the
youth, "to spread my net there, and catch your mother." Mind
you search the place carefully," retorted the boy, "for you will be sure to find yours there also.

Wool joke, How did the nervous man feel after putting on his wool socks?

jokes about wool