The Best 52 Woody Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Woody jokes. There are some woody eastwood jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these woody woody allen puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Woody Jokes and Puns

"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"

-"A little early isn't it, Woody?"

-"For a beer?"

-"No, for stupid questions."

Name three things that come in a little yellow box

Kodak film, Dots candy and Woody Allen.

Someone hit my fender so I told them, 'be fruitful and multiply'...

But not exactly in those words. -Woody Allen

Woody joke, Someone hit my fender so I told them, 'be fruitful and multiply'...

I wonder if Buzz and woody had ever met Andy's mom's toys.

They probably have the same names

A classic Woody Allen stand-up line: the political magazines Commentry and Dissent have decided to merge

They're gonna call the new magazine "Dissentary" ....

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

(heard this on pka 250 from woody, thought it was funny so I shared it here)


By coincidence, the mom from Toy Story had adult toys named Woody and Buzz Lightyear


Toy Story got it all wrong.

You're supposed to get a buzz BEFORE you get a woody.

Rumour has it Toy Story 4 is going to focus on Andy's mom's toys

Coincidentally, they are also called Woody and Buzz

Two rabbits were chased by hounds

They ran until they couldn't run anymore. Holed up in a hollow log, the rabbits were safely out of reach while the hounds bayed outside.

The boy rabbit looked at the girl rabbit and asked, "What do we do now?"

"We stay here until we outnumber them."
- Woody Guthrie

What did Jesse say to Woody when they were having a threesome with Buzz Lightyear?

You've got a friend in me

You can explore woody holly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean woody warcraft dad jokes. There are also woody puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

How do you know Soon-Yi Previn is trans?

She's asian and comes with a little Woody.

Two Jewish women are complaining about a restaurant

The first one says 'the food was terrible' the other says 'yes it was and such small portions too' (hat tip Woody Allen)

Did you hear Woody stabbed his best friend?

What a Buzz kill

What did Woody say to Buzz?

A lot. There were 3 movies.

Woody joke, What did Woody say to Buzz?

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

"Strange to see your toys have the same name as us."

What do a sneeze, a french-dip, and Woody Allen have in common?

Ah Jew!

After several drinks last night, I had a great Buzz.

Unfortunately I was no longer able to get a Woody.

A Woody Joke

What wood happen if you had a Wooden Car

With Wooden Seats

Wooden Tires

And A Wooden Engine?

It Wooden't Start

Woody caught Buzz and Bo Peep having toy sex

Woody: "What's the meaning of this???!!"

Bo Peep: "You got a friend in me..."

Toy Story 4 Will Be About Sids Moms Toys

Giving a whole new meaning to Buzz and Woody

I wonder if Andy's mom from Toy Story has toys too

I bet they're named also Woody and Buzz

Inspiration u/antonyjohne

I'm really thankful that Disney/Pixar brought us Toy Story

It means I can go to Toys R Us and walk out with a Woody without it being awkward.

Why does Roy Moore always dress up like a cowboy?

Because he gets a little Woody around kids

The mom from ToyStory has her own set of Toys.

Their names are also Woody and Buzz.

What is Woody Harrelson's favorite part of building a computer?

The rampart.

What did Bo Peep say when Woody walked in on her and Buzz cheating?

You've got a friend in me

I get too excited at "Toy Story" auctions

I always leave with a woody

What did Bo Peep say to Woody when he caught her with Buzz Lightyear?

"You've got a friend in me!"

What did Woody say to Jessie while they were having sex?

Now I've got my friend in you!

Rumor is that Toy Story 4 will focus on

Andy's mother's toys, which coincidentally are called Woody and Buzz too.

What would Jessie tell Woody while having a threesome with buzz?

You've got a friend in me!

What did Buzz say to Woody?

A lot, I mean there were three movies and a couple short films in that franchise.

Toy story 5 announced

Starring Andy's mom's toys also called buzz and woody

I like my cartoons like Woody Allen likes his women...

Barely legal and asian.

A girl I just started dating asked me if I had been circumcised...

I told her, No, I don't get a woody, I get a hoody.

The synopsis for Toy Story 4 has leaked.

This time it focuses on Andy's mother's toys, also named Buzz and Woody.

[NSFW] What is Woody Woodpecker's girlfriend's name?

Suzy Splintercunt

Toy Story's Buzz and Woody would make a great team at a party.

It'd come in handy to be able to get hard when you're drunk.

New Toy Story announced for 2020, starring Andy's mum's toys

That are also called Woody and Buzz.

What were Andy's mom's toys called?

Buzz and Woody

What did Andy's girlfriend say to him when she was playing with Woody and he got stuck inside her?

You've got a friend in me

Why was Andy from Toy Story's girlfriend disappointed?

Andy's "Woody" wasn't quite what she was expecting.

Ironically, Woody and Buzz ...

were also the names of Andy's Mum's toys.

Every morning, I stay in bed until I've watched Toy Story all the way through from start to finish.

That way I always wake up with a morning Woody.

Toy Story 4 introduces sex toys...

Incidentally enough, they're also named Woody and Buzz.

What Do You Get When You Insert Woody And Buzz Into Any Opening In Your Body?

"You've Got A Friend In Me"

Just saw "Cheers: The Musical"

My Thoughts? A little too much Danson.

Also, some of the acting was woody.

A gem from the YouTube comment section

"This watch has tremendous sentimental value to me. My father sold it to me on his deathbed." -Woody Allen

What did the dog say to Woody after accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear?

You got a friend in me.

What did the bear say to Buzz when he ate Woody?

You got a friend in me

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the woody woodland jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working woody wooden piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes