Woodworking Jokes
37 woodworking jokes and hilarious woodworking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about woodworking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Woodworking Short Jokes
Short woodworking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The woodworking humour may include short jokes also.
- Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.
- I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork... I think I nailed it but nobody saw it.
- What does a novice woodworker have in common with a constipated woodworker? In the end, both are lucky to produce a stool.
- I tried to come up with a pun for carpentry... that woodwork. I think I nailed it this time, but unfortunately nobody saw it.
- I tried to think of a joke to post here on carpentry. But I just couldn't come up with anything that woodwork.
- What did Sean Connery say after his woodworking project didn't turn out well? "I'm ashamed of my shelf"
- I found bottles of 'Walrus oil' during my woodworking class... I asked if they meant Walnut... to which they said: "no, walrus oil gives the best seal!".
- What's a gay carpenter's favorite hobby? I don't know. It's a toss up between woodworking and working wood.
- What is Gepetto's favorite cereal? I know you think it's Pinnochi-o's, but it's actually Cheerios. They're whittle o's. Though I guess both woodwork.
- My friend made a cube in woodworking class today I told him to put some dots on it, but no dice.
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Woodworking One Liners
Which woodworking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with woodworking? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork… Think I nailed it!
- What is Snoop Doggs favorite tool for woodworking? A chizzle.
- I really like woodworking… but only when I get board
- Did you hear about the incontinent woodworker? He specialised in staining chairs
- I'm skeptical about hiring a carpenter to make my furniture But I'm sure it woodwork
- What do you call woodworkers? Prostitutes.
- Anyone wanna join my prayer group for woodworkers? It's called "Oh, Ye of Whittle Faith."
- Why did the woodworker go to jail? Because he used a band saw
- What did Kurt Cobain make in his woodwork class? A heart shaped box.
- What is a l**... favorite type of woodworking joint? Tongue and groove
Woodworking Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about woodworking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make woodworking pranks.
Methylated Spirit
A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.
"Bottle of methylated spirit please."
"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."
"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"
"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.
"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"
Did you hear about the guy who mixed up sandpaper and toilet paper?
His woodworking looked like s**....
(Clean) A group of nuns wanted to make a little money on the side...
They were quite good at woodworking and wanted to make something that the local kids would enjoy so they decided to start up a company that makes yo-yos. Pretty soon making the yo-yos and fulfilling the orders started to take up a good chunk of their time and it caught the attention of the Mother Superior. She pulled them aside and asked what they've been working on so hard and they told her: Nun Yo-yo Buisiness
2 Lumberjacks
2 lumberjacks chop down a tree, but don't know what to do with the wood. One of them suggests they make carpentry, and the other says, "that woodwork."
What did the carpenter say when he was low balled on a project to smooth a wall?
I woodwork for more, but I will not sand for that!
Bill Clinton and his razorbacks...
Bill Clinton steps off a plane with two Arkansas razorbacks under each arm and then is greeted by a Marine who is saluting him. Bill tells the Marine "Son I would salute you but as you can see I got my hands full with these succulent hogs. I got one here for Hillary and one here for Chelsea." The Marine replies "A mighty fine trade, sir!"
edit - loving how the "alt-left" has come out of the woodworks on this one. Was just testing the waters. And the verdict...a lot(85%) of you have a quality sense of humor. You're alright.
Prison ain't so bad
A newly arrived prisoner is sitting in his cell when his cellmate, a lifer who has been inside for 20 years, walks in and sees that the young guy is distressed.
Lifer: Don't worry kid, prison ain't so bad. Do you like to work with your hands?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: Well,on Monday we get to work in the Arts and Crafts building. You can paint,do woodworking, pottery whatever.
NewMeat: O.k. that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Gourmet food?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: On Tuesdays a Chef comes in affixes anything you want to eat.
NewMeat: Sounds good
Lifer:Do you like movies?
NewMeat: Yeah
Lifer:Wednesdays we get to watch the latest films that are released to theatres.
NewMeat:Allright that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Music?
NewMeat: Absolutely!
Lifer: Thursdays we get a concert from big name bands like U2 and Foo Fighters.
NewMeat: Wow!! that is cool!!
Lifer: Are you gay?
NewMeat: Uh, no I'm not gay
Lifer: Oh....... well you're not gonna like Friday's at all.