Womens Right Jokes
134 womens right jokes and hilarious womens right puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about womens right that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Womens Right Short Jokes
Short womens right jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The womens right humour may include short womans rights jokes also.
- I got fired from my job at the library... Apparently the book on women's rights doesn't belong in the fiction section.
- Women say all men are dogs but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
- Why did the feminist cross the road? It doesn't matter. Women have the right to cross roads without having their motives questioned.
- Ray rice doesn't believe in giving women rights. However, he has no problem giving them a couple lefts
- I'm have mixed feelings about abortion. On one hand, I love killing babies, on the other I hate giving women rights.
- I got kicked out of the library today I got kicked out of the library for putting the women's rights book in the fiction section
- When God created women... He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men."
Ironically he made the Earth round. - Lads if you are bored! Phone up women's rights groups... And ask to speak to the man in charge.
- Why does beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because women have no rights.
*Sorry of this is rude/offensive and if its a repost, I just wanted to share.* - Survey gone wrong.. or right?? On a survey for 'which conditioner you use?' 99% of the womens said 'aaahhhhhh.....get out of my shower!!!!'
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Womens Right One Liners
Which womens right one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with womens right? I can suggest the ones about women rights and womens health.
- What do you call a girl that raps about women rights? Feminem.
- What does the r in women stand for? Rights
- I like my women how I like my stock images... Rights free
- Why did the cow cross the road? To get to her Women's Rights meeting
- Many Saudi women are fans of the Second Amendment. They would like a right to bare arms.
- Why are so many feminists on the left side of politics? Because women don't have rights.
- A misogynist says I like my women like I like my Nascar No rights
- If a women is under the age of 90 she's Acutie, if shes 90 she's just right.
- Why aren't there many female NASCAR drivers? Because women always think they're right.
- Winning chess is the same as winning women. All it takes is the right amount of checks.
- Q: Why do some women look at blank paper?
A: They like to read their rights. - Gonna start rapping about women's rights... Call me Feminem.
- Women are like clarinets. They make a cool noise if you lick them the right way.
- My dad told me "women are always right". He then told me that he was wrong; he was right.
- You know what I hate about abortion clinics? Women get the right to make a choice.
Cheeky Womens Right Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about womens right you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean human rights jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make womens right pranks.
We are all God's children right? And Jesus is God's only son, right? So aren't we all women?
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end…
"And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet.
He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp.
"This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes.
"I would like an ice-cold Coke right now."
He gets his Coke and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish.
"I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible."
Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish.
"I wish I'd never have to work again."
Instantly, he was back in his government office.
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!"
Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
I always wanted to marry Mrs. Right, but I didn't know her first name was "Always".
Q: Why do manly ghosts have so much trouble dating?
A: Women can see right through them!
Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the g**..., make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....
Like he's a Muslim or something.
I don't get why pro athletes feel the need to hit women...
...just reply to the next one in your DMs if she isn't acting right.
Why is Saudi Arabia so late to givng rights to women?
Because they have been living under Iraq.
I like my women like i like my coffee...
...Always there to brighten my morning
...Decaffeinated
...Black and strong
...Tall
...Grande
...Brazilian
...With sauce
...Twice before I leave the house
...Right before I smoke
...Bitter and cold
...At the end of the day, scraped off the bottom of a p**...
...Slow roasted
...Ground up in my freezer
...With boiling water poured over them
...Light and sweet
...A day old
Women...
are like hardwood floors. Lay 'em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.
For every dollar a man makes....
For every dollar a man makes, a women makes 70 cents.
Thats not right
Thats not fair
The mans only left with 30!
-Bo Burnham
Please settle an argument regarding this joke: why is it funny?
>What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
>30 pounds.
This joke has been the source of debate among my peers. I know I'm right, but I need evidence/validation. Why is this joke funny? What is the punch line implying?
----
A women gets pulled over.
Attempting to get out of a ticket, she tries, as the cop is walking to her car, to try flirting.
"Hi," she says seductively.
"Hi," he replies.
"I thought you didn't give pretty ladies tickets?" She pouts.
"You're right, we don't. Here's your ticket, have a nice day."
You wanna hear a joke?
Women's rights (Said flatly)
sexist, but even my close girlfriend's love it
A women goes to a dentist
She sits down and spreads her legs. "Im not sure im the right person for this" the dentist says. The women replies " I know, but you put my husbands dentures in and now your gonna take them out".
A Russian drunk in a streetcar
Another Russian joke. A drunk boards a streetcar, and says out loud:
"All the women to the left of me are idiots, and all the women to the right are w**...."
A woman to the right stands up and says, "I've been married for 15 years, and I've always been faithful to my husband, so there."
"Then move to the left."
How many married women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Yeah right, like married women ever screw anything other than poolboys.....
A women goes to the doctors office...
The doctor comes in and asks whats wrong.
Women: "Well have been having really loud farts lately, and I don't know what to do, and it is quite embarrassing."
Doctor: "Well does it smell?"
Women: "No, Just really loud."
All of a sudden, she cuts one right in front of the the doctor.
Doctor: "Ah, I see. I will schedule you for surgery right away."
Women: "For my stomach?"
Doctor: "No for your nose."
A little Johnny...
One day in math class little Johnny's teacher asked him to look out the window, where three birds were sitting on a fence. She then asks "Johnny, if I shoot one of those birds how many are left?" Johnny replies "None, they would all have flown away when they heard the gun shot." The teacher smiles and says "The correct answer was two, but I like the way you think."
Johnny looks at the teacher and says "I have a question for you." "There are three women in an ice cream shop and they all have an ice cream cone, one is l**... it, one is biting it, and one is s**... it, which one is married?" The teach thinks about it a bit and says "The one s**... it." Johnny looks at her and say "The right answer was the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
A farmer has a new handsome assistant
A farmer has a new handsome assistant. One morning they want to go out into the fields to work. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;)
He tells his assistant to go get the boots from the house. The assistant returns and finds the farmers very pretty wife, along with the equally pretty daughter sitting in the kitchen. He tells them: "The farmer just said it would be alright if I had s**... with you right now!" The women look sceptical, so the assistant opens the window and shouts to the farmer: "Both?"
Farmer: "Of course both of them, what do you think?!"
Women Think Differently
Husband's Text Message by cell phone:
"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.
Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:
"Who's Paula?"
The difference between men and women.
Women only have two knees. Men have three, left knee, right knee, and a w**....
The Way Women Think
Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"
My dad was a very active advocate for women's rights...
My mom wanted to be as well, but my dad wouldn't allow it.
Archaeologists in Athens have unearthed the crypt of the man many believe was responsible for denying women the right to vote in the ancient democracy.
That man's name? Misogynes.
Only possible with the mind of a 7th grader...
My brother comes home from school one day and tells me his friend was held after school.
I asked him what for.
He said he moved all the women's rights books in the library into the fiction department.
Now Its the Father Problem
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
A man walks into a bar and sees h**......
A man walks into a bar and sees h**....
"Hey, is that h**...?" he asks the bartender.
"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"
The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to h**....
"Hello Adolf."
"How are you?" Adolf asks.
"Good, what are you doing?"
h**...'s right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."
"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.
"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.
"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.
h**... becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.
"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."
--
The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.
An old lady shot her husband on the foot ...
An old lady shot her husband in the foot for stepping on the floor right after she mopped.
An officer reached on the scene and radioed into the station.
Station: "Has the women been arrested ? "
Officer: "No, the floor is still wet ...."
I'm split on the topic of abortion....
On one hand I don't want to give women rights.
But on the other hand I love killing babies.
Had a fight with the wifey last night.
She exclaimed "Shut up, women are always right and men are always wrong." to which I replied "Yes, you are right".
I killed my wife the other day for always being right
...and hid her in a suitcase under my bed.
She always said the only way I would have s**... with another women would be over her dead body.
I bought a new fragrance today...
Bc I heard with the right Cologne, women just can't say no to you
Women know that men are like linoleum . . .
If they lay 'em right the first time, they can walk on them for years.
What was the name of the landmark 1973 federal court decision that gave women everywhere the right to wear leather?
Roe vs. Suede
two ladies were sitting in a bar...
the one on the left was lovely, kind and beautiful
the one on the right was very attractive, smart, and attentive
both of the women were hitting on me all nite which one did i take home?
the one on the right because lefty loosy righy tighty
Women are always complaining about wanting a boyfriend...
And when I offer they act all repulsed and tell me to get out of their house before they call the cops for breaking in, women am I right?
TIL that North Korea is one of few countries where women Truly have equal rights to men.
That is that they both equally don't have any.
Not sure if this is the right place to post, but after the US election results from last night, I need help creating a new dating website. It will help desperate American men and women find love in Canada.
It'll be called ehHarmony
Those bumps on womens n**......
are braille for s**... right here.
Sitting in a Bar.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?
One of them snarled at me, It's Wales, dumbo!
So I corrected myself, Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?
That's about as far as I remember.
I really don't have a clear stance on abortion
On one hand I'm all for killing babies.
But on the other hand I don't support women's rights.
I don't understand women...
I thought opening the door was the right thing to do, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane...
Women are usually right, unless they're Chinese...
Then they're usually Wong.
Why does a fetus have more rights than a women?
Because a fetus still have a chance to become a Man
I'm all for women's rights...
I just wish they'd be as decisive when choosing where to eat dinner.
Finding exactly what right women don't have in America is like transmuting iron to gold.
You can't.
Today my dad asked what I was talking to
"My imaginary friend"
"Oh what's their name?"
"Womens rights"
How do you destroy a feminist in a debate?
You ask "what rights do men have that women don't?"
What's a joke that was funny in early America, but is even more hilarious in the present day middle east?
"Women's rights"
*^ba-dum ^ching*
I'm can't make up my mind on abortions
On the one hand you're killing babies, which I am for, but on the other hand you're giving women rights, which I'm against.
What do women and floor tiles have in common?
Lay em right the first time and you can walk on them the rest of your life. (Sorry mom)
AXE products claim if you smell good, women will be all over you, but that can't be right
I've never had any problems with my nose and I'm still single.
Women are like multiple choice tests
They give you plenty of options but there's only one right answer
You wanna know why I got kicked out of the library?
I moved all of the women's rights books to the fiction section.
The BBC have a new cooking show, hosted by women who have been victims of domestic violence.
It's called "Can't Cook? Right Hook!"
My taste in women is much like my taste in wine
Right now i like them younger, sweeter, and prettier. As i age, i start to like them older, more bitter, and contributing to my alcoholism.
I'm not sure how I feel about abortion.
I love killing babies, but I hate the idea of giving women rights.
So i got fired from my job at the library, today
Apparently the books about womens rights, do not belong at the fantasy department..
So what's your take on abortion?
Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.
Women gained the right to vote 100 years ago to the day...
yet they still can't cast a vote on what they want for dinner
Gay marriage is sending single women right over the edge...
Now all the good men are married **AND** gay!
I like my women like...
I like my women like i like my whiskey... 7 years old and right from the cellar.
Oprah promises prosecution of all women in sleeveless dresses when she takes office
She is against the right to bare arms.
