Women Rights Jokes
101 women rights jokes and hilarious women rights puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about women rights that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Women Rights Short Jokes
Short women rights jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The women rights humour may include short womans rights jokes also.
- I got fired from my job at the library... Apparently the book on women's rights doesn't belong in the fiction section.
- Women say all men are dogs but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
- Why did the feminist cross the road? It doesn't matter. Women have the right to cross roads without having their motives questioned.
- Ray rice doesn't believe in giving women rights. However, he has no problem giving them a couple lefts
- I'm have mixed feelings about abortion. On one hand, I love killing babies, on the other I hate giving women rights.
- I got kicked out of the library today I got kicked out of the library for putting the women's rights book in the fiction section
- When God created women... He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men."
Ironically he made the Earth round. - Lads if you are bored! Phone up women's rights groups... And ask to speak to the man in charge.
- Why does beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because women have no rights.
*Sorry of this is rude/offensive and if its a repost, I just wanted to share.* - Survey gone wrong.. or right?? On a survey for 'which conditioner you use?' 99% of the womens said 'aaahhhhhh.....get out of my shower!!!!'
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Women Rights One Liners
Which women rights one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with women rights? I can suggest the ones about womens right and human rights.
- What do you call a girl that raps about women rights? Feminem.
- What does the r in women stand for? Rights
- I like my women how I like my stock images... Rights free
- Why did the cow cross the road? To get to her Women's Rights meeting
- Many Saudi women are fans of the Second Amendment. They would like a right to bare arms.
- Why are so many feminists on the left side of politics? Because women don't have rights.
- A misogynist says I like my women like I like my Nascar No rights
- If a women is under the age of 90 she's Acutie, if shes 90 she's just right.
- Why aren't there many female NASCAR drivers? Because women always think they're right.
- Winning chess is the same as winning women. All it takes is the right amount of checks.
- Q: Why do some women look at blank paper?
A: They like to read their rights. - Gonna start rapping about women's rights... Call me Feminem.
- Women are like clarinets. They make a cool noise if you lick them the right way.
- My dad told me "women are always right". He then told me that he was wrong; he was right.
- You know what I hate about abortion clinics? Women get the right to make a choice.
Cheerful Women Rights Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about women rights you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gender equality jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make women rights pranks.
We are all God's children right? And Jesus is God's only son, right? So aren't we all women?
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet.
He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp.
"This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes.
"I would like an ice-cold Coke right now."
He gets his Coke and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish.
"I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible."
Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish.
"I wish I'd never have to work again."
Instantly, he was back in his government office.
Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the g**..., make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....
Like he's a Muslim or something.
Why is Saudi Arabia so late to givng rights to women?
Because they have been living under Iraq.
I like my women like i like my coffee...
...Always there to brighten my morning
...Decaffeinated
...Black and strong
...Tall
...Grande
...Brazilian
...With sauce
...Twice before I leave the house
...Right before I smoke
...Bitter and cold
...At the end of the day, scraped off the bottom of a p**...
...Slow roasted
...Ground up in my freezer
...With boiling water poured over them
...Light and sweet
...A day old
Women...
are like hardwood floors. Lay 'em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.
For every dollar a man makes....
For every dollar a man makes, a women makes 70 cents.
Thats not right
Thats not fair
The mans only left with 30!
-Bo Burnham
Please settle an argument regarding this joke: why is it funny?
>What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
>30 pounds.
This joke has been the source of debate among my peers. I know I'm right, but I need evidence/validation. Why is this joke funny? What is the punch line implying?
----
A women gets pulled over.
Attempting to get out of a ticket, she tries, as the cop is walking to her car, to try flirting.
"Hi," she says seductively.
"Hi," he replies.
"I thought you didn't give pretty ladies tickets?" She pouts.
"You're right, we don't. Here's your ticket, have a nice day."
A women goes to a dentist
She sits down and spreads her legs. "Im not sure im the right person for this" the dentist says. The women replies " I know, but you put my husbands dentures in and now your gonna take them out".
A Russian drunk in a streetcar
Another Russian joke. A drunk boards a streetcar, and says out loud:
"All the women to the left of me are idiots, and all the women to the right are w**...."
A woman to the right stands up and says, "I've been married for 15 years, and I've always been faithful to my husband, so there."
"Then move to the left."
How many married women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Yeah right, like married women ever screw anything other than poolboys.....
A women goes to the doctors office...
The doctor comes in and asks whats wrong.
Women: "Well have been having really loud farts lately, and I don't know what to do, and it is quite embarrassing."
Doctor: "Well does it smell?"
Women: "No, Just really loud."
All of a sudden, she cuts one right in front of the the doctor.
Doctor: "Ah, I see. I will schedule you for surgery right away."
Women: "For my stomach?"
Doctor: "No for your nose."
A little Johnny...
One day in math class little Johnny's teacher asked him to look out the window, where three birds were sitting on a fence. She then asks "Johnny, if I shoot one of those birds how many are left?" Johnny replies "None, they would all have flown away when they heard the gun shot." The teacher smiles and says "The correct answer was two, but I like the way you think."
Johnny looks at the teacher and says "I have a question for you." "There are three women in an ice cream shop and they all have an ice cream cone, one is l**... it, one is biting it, and one is s**... it, which one is married?" The teach thinks about it a bit and says "The one s**... it." Johnny looks at her and say "The right answer was the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
A farmer has a new handsome assistant
A farmer has a new handsome assistant. One morning they want to go out into the fields to work. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;)
He tells his assistant to go get the boots from the house. The assistant returns and finds the farmers very pretty wife, along with the equally pretty daughter sitting in the kitchen. He tells them: "The farmer just said it would be alright if I had s**... with you right now!" The women look sceptical, so the assistant opens the window and shouts to the farmer: "Both?"
Farmer: "Of course both of them, what do you think?!"
Women Think Differently
Husband's Text Message by cell phone:
"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.
Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:
"Who's Paula?"
The difference between men and women.
Women only have two knees. Men have three, left knee, right knee, and a w**....
The Way Women Think
Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"
My dad was a very active advocate for women's rights...
My mom wanted to be as well, but my dad wouldn't allow it.
Only possible with the mind of a 7th grader...
My brother comes home from school one day and tells me his friend was held after school.
I asked him what for.
He said he moved all the women's rights books in the library into the fiction department.
Now Its the Father Problem
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
A man walks into a bar and sees h**......
A man walks into a bar and sees h**....
"Hey, is that h**...?" he asks the bartender.
"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"
The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to h**....
"Hello Adolf."
"How are you?" Adolf asks.
"Good, what are you doing?"
h**...'s right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."
"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.
"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.
"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.
h**... becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.
"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."
--
The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.
An old lady shot her husband on the foot ...
An old lady shot her husband in the foot for stepping on the floor right after she mopped.
An officer reached on the scene and radioed into the station.
Station: "Has the women been arrested ? "
Officer: "No, the floor is still wet ...."
I'm split on the topic of abortion....
On one hand I don't want to give women rights.
But on the other hand I love killing babies.
Had a fight with the wifey last night.
She exclaimed "Shut up, women are always right and men are always wrong." to which I replied "Yes, you are right".
Women know that men are like linoleum . . .
If they lay 'em right the first time, they can walk on them for years.
two ladies were sitting in a bar...
the one on the left was lovely, kind and beautiful
the one on the right was very attractive, smart, and attentive
both of the women were hitting on me all nite which one did i take home?
the one on the right because lefty loosy righy tighty
Women are always complaining about wanting a boyfriend...
And when I offer they act all repulsed and tell me to get out of their house before they call the cops for breaking in, women am I right?
TIL that North Korea is one of few countries where women Truly have equal rights to men.
That is that they both equally don't have any.
Not sure if this is the right place to post, but after the US election results from last night, I need help creating a new dating website. It will help desperate American men and women find love in Canada.
It'll be called ehHarmony
Sitting in a Bar.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?
One of them snarled at me, It's Wales, dumbo!
So I corrected myself, Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?
That's about as far as I remember.
I really don't have a clear stance on abortion
On one hand I'm all for killing babies.
But on the other hand I don't support women's rights.
I don't understand women...
I thought opening the door was the right thing to do, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane...
Why does a fetus have more rights than a women?
Because a fetus still have a chance to become a Man
Finding exactly what right women don't have in America is like transmuting iron to gold.
You can't.
Today my dad asked what I was talking to
"My imaginary friend"
"Oh what's their name?"
"Womens rights"
What's a joke that was funny in early America, but is even more hilarious in the present day middle east?
"Women's rights"
*^ba-dum ^ching*
Women are like multiple choice tests
They give you plenty of options but there's only one right answer
You wanna know why I got kicked out of the library?
I moved all of the women's rights books to the fiction section.
My taste in women is much like my taste in wine
Right now i like them younger, sweeter, and prettier. As i age, i start to like them older, more bitter, and contributing to my alcoholism.
I'm not sure how I feel about abortion.
I love killing babies, but I hate the idea of giving women rights.
So i got fired from my job at the library, today
Apparently the books about womens rights, do not belong at the fantasy department..
So what's your take on abortion?
Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.
Women gained the right to vote 100 years ago to the day...
yet they still can't cast a vote on what they want for dinner
Oprah promises prosecution of all women in sleeveless dresses when she takes office
She is against the right to bare arms.
A Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet.
He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold beer right now!" He gets his beer and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful women reside." Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again." p**...! He's back in his government office.
My dads a women's rights activist.
Your dad? Not your mum?
No, dad wouldn't allow that.
*Courtesy of u/hihellow*
The reason women are responsible for more accidents at intersections....
must be because they don't have as much experience pulling out as men do.
(OC I think? Thought it up when a woman pulled out right in front of me today, and then had a s**... "what did I do wrong" look on her face when I honked at her for it.)
A cop pulls over 3 old ladies
A cop pulls over 3 old ladies doing 20 in a 65mph zone. The cop walks up to the window.
"How can I help you officer?"
"Did you realize you were doing 20 in a 65mph zone?"
"I thought we were doing the speed limit. It says so right there." The old woman pointed to a sign.
"Ma'am thats the sign saying you're on interstate 20." Just then the officer noticed the two women in back looked extremely frightened. "What's wrong with them?"
"Oh we must have just come off interstate 200."
A women at a women's right protest got mad at me because I told her that women sometimes can't do the jobs that men can do
She then got her boyfriend to beat me up
Today I got thrown out of the library
It's because I put the "women's rights" book under fiction.
Women are allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia now, however they can only turn left ...
Because you know... There are no women's rights there...
My grandpa used to say that what women want is security, and I have to admit he was right.
That's what they yell for when I start talking to them.
My dyslexic support group held a slam poetry competition
Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America.
Anna got second with a touching monologue about women's rights.
I got third by smashing an urn.
Two women are standing on a bridge...
Emily and Katy are standing on a bridge when Emily says, "Have you ever wanted to pee over the bridge like guys do?"
And Katy says, "You know what, I think I will."
So she lifts her leg over the edge of the bridge and says, "Check it out, I'm gonna pee right down into that canoe."
Emily looks at the water and says, "That's not a canoe, that's your reflection."
When two women are in a relationship together...
...how do they know which one is always right?
A man ask a pretty women: if there is a scale of a person's looking, on the left is ugly, and on the right is pretty, so what do you think of me?
I think you are in the middle, says the women.
So my looking is just okay, says the man, a bit disappointed.
No, you are pretty ugly, says the women.
A man walks in to a bar
And sees an ugly old humpback of a guy, who is constantly surrounded by women.
How to spot a millionaire, am I right? he winks and smiles at the bartender
No, Larry is a plumber, not a millionaire
Okay - so he must be extremely charming?
Larry is actually a man of very few words
Then what on earth makes him so incredibly popular with women??
I actually have no idea - every day he comes here, he just sits there quietly, drinking his beer, l**... his eyebrows..
Three women are changing at the gym when a man wearing nothing but a ski mask enters the changeroom and starts dancing in front of the women.
The first woman looks at the man and says, "I don't know who this guy is, but he isn't my husband!"
The second woman takes a closer look at the man. Then she turns to the first woman and says, "You are right. He isn't your husband."
The third woman takes an even closer look and says, "He's not even a member of this gym."
I was sitting in a bar one day and two women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"
So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's about as far as I remember.
The Italian Mother
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is
going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you
try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them
down on the couch and they chat for a while.
He then says, "Okay, Mama, guess which one am I going to marry?"
Mama says immediately, "The one on the right."
"That's amazing, Mama. You're right. How did you know?"
Mama replies: "I don't like her."
Everyone's talking about women's rights but...
I have never heard one admit when they're wrong.
