Women Kitchen Jokes
87 women kitchen jokes and hilarious women kitchen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about women kitchen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Women Kitchen Short Jokes
Short women kitchen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The women kitchen humour may include short woman kitchen jokes also.
- I like my women like i like my microwave In the kitchen and ready to kill any baby i put inside them.
- I really hate men that says women belongs in the kitchen How are they then supposed to clean the rest of the house?
- Jokes that say women should stay in the kitchen are so offensive... How else are they supposed to clean the rest of the house?
- The idea that women only belong in the kitchen is dated and offensive. The rest of the house needs cleaned too
- The stereotype that women should only be in the kitchen is awful. The rest of the house needs to be cleaned, too!
- I don't know why women spend so much money on sunglasses... Wouldn't it be cheaper to just tint the kitchen windows!
- If women aren't supposed to be in the kitchen, then why do they have milk and eggs inside them?!
- I hate when people say "women should stay in the kitchen" ...how are they supposed to clean the rest of the house?
- If men have man caves, why dont women have woman caves? They do, we just universally named it the kitchen many years ago.
- i don't think women should stay in the kitchen... i mean, how are they supposed to clean the rest of the house from there?
Share These Women Kitchen Jokes With Friends
Women Kitchen One Liners
Which women kitchen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with women kitchen? I can suggest the ones about women and kitchen and women in kitchen.
- Women have eggs and milk in them... And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
- What do you call men who make "women belong in the kitchen" jokes? Single.
- I like my women like I like my toasters... Two warm holes and never leaves the kitchen.
- A man crashes into a women, whose fault was it? It's the man, who drives in the kitchen?
- Why do women get married in white? To match the kitchen appliances.
- I like my billiards like I like my women, in the kitchen... Just kidding, ball in hand.
- Why can't women drive? Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.
- If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
- Why can't women drive? Because cars don't fit in the kitchen.
- I like my women like i like my kitchen appliances Foreign, expensive, and dependable
- Why do women have shorter feet? So they can stand closer to the kitchen counter.
- Never tell a woman that her place is in the kitchen. That's where the knives are kept.
- Did you know why God gave women legs ? So that they can walk from the bed to the kitchen.
- Why is there a window over the kitchen sink? So women can actually have a point of view.
- Why do women never ski? Because it doesn't snow in the kitchen
Hilarious Women Kitchen Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about women kitchen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean women cooking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make women kitchen pranks.
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it?
A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that lived in his apartment complex.
To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself.
Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the n**....
Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get sunburn on his “tool of the trade”.
But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.
During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again.
He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk.
He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.
The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk.
Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”
Q:Why did the woman cross the road?
A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
Seventy-five-year-old Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for his wife for Women's Day.
Upon passing a l**... store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any l**... in her life.
He gets the idea to buy his wife something s**... to make her feel good and young.
Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has.
Marvin takes the gift and excitedly runs home to his wife.
Upon finding her in the kitchen he tells her to take the gift upstairs and unwrap it.
He'll wait in the kitchen.
His wife thanks him and goes up to the bedroom.
Once the package is opened she realizes that this is something she's never had before.
She also sees that it is so sheer it leaves nothing to the imagination.
She thinks for a moment and then decides that she'll really surprise Marvin and go downstairs without any clothes on at all.
So she leaves the negligee on the bed and starts down the stairs stark n**....
She calls out: "Marvin, come out to the hallway and look."
Marvin walks out to the staircase, looks up at his wife, and exclaims: "All that money and they didn't even iron it?!"
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you spell women backwards?
Kitchen
Two elderly couples are chatting over tea.
Afterwards, as the women excuse themselves and return the dishes to the kitchen, one of the men turns to the other and tells him about a fantastic dinner he and his wife had enjoyed the other evening.
The second man then asks him where they ate.
"Hmm," ponders the first man. "You know that flower... the one with the red petals and the sharp thorns?"
"You must be thinking of a rose," the second man replies.
"Ah yes now I remember. HEY! ROSE! WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT RESTAURANT WE WENT TO LAST NIGHT!?"
Why are women dressed white on their wedding day?
because all good kitchen appliances come in white.
Have you heard men get hit by lightning 6x more often than women?
The kitchen must be a very safe place
why dont women drive?
because theres not road from the bed room to the kitchen
Three old women live in a house together...
The first one —a 96 year old, has drawn herself a bath and is about to get in. She suddenly stops and calls to her sisters
"Was I getting into the tub or out of the tub?".
The second sister —a 94 year old, replies
"Hold on, I'll come help you".
She begins walking up the stairs but suddenly stops and asks her sister— a 92 year old,
"Was I going up the stairs or down the stairs?".
The old woman just sits at the kitchen table and muttersto herself
"My sisters are so forgetful. What would they do without me?"
as she knocks on the wooden table.
Her sister calls for help once more and she replies,
"Hold on, I need to answer the door first".
They say men are 3 times as likely to be struck by lightning than women
Because lighting is 1/3 as likely to strike in the kitchen
A farmer has a new handsome assistant
A farmer has a new handsome assistant. One morning they want to go out into the fields to work. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;)
He tells his assistant to go get the boots from the house. The assistant returns and finds the farmers very pretty wife, along with the equally pretty daughter sitting in the kitchen. He tells them: "The farmer just said it would be alright if I had s**... with you right now!" The women look sceptical, so the assistant opens the window and shouts to the farmer: "Both?"
Farmer: "Of course both of them, what do you think?!"
Why don't women need umbrellas?
Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
Why do women wear white on their wedding day?
All good kitchen appliances come in white. (Don't hurt me)
How many women does it take to play tennis?
You can't play tennis in the kitchen
Why aren't snowmen called snow women?
Because they're in the kitchen melting.
Felt compelled to share this offensive joke: Women should be like the light in the refrigerator...
Slightly amazing every time you see them, able to brigthen a cold dark place, mysterious until you find the little button that turns them on, constantly showing delicious food and beers, producing no audible sound, always in the kitchen, and there when you need them but gone at the flick of your wrist.
End extremism..
Order your women back to the kitchen.
How many bruthas does it take to clean a kitchen?
None, that's women's work!
There are two things that I will never get...
There are two things that I will never get - why women can't stay in the kitchen and a girlfriend.
Why did the women cross the road?
I don't know, but what is she doing out of the kitchen?
Why don't women need drivers licenses
Because there is no road from the kitchen to the bedroom
Why don't women get hit by trains?
There is no railroad tracks between the living room and the kitchen.
Women don't deserve to be paid as much as men and should stay in the kitchen.
I'd go on, but that's the misogyngist of it.
I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses.
I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted.
Feminists need to learn spelling
So yesterday, I was walking down the street when a girl claiming to be a feminist handed me this flyer. It said, "PUT A WOMEN IN THE WHITE HOUSE".
I looked up at her confused and walked away.
That was an odd way to spell kitchen...
A women was in bed with her lover...
when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner."
She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you to." she said, "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Joneses bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to bed.
Around 2 in the morning, the husband got out of bed went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the statue, "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Joneses for 2 days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
I hate when women try to talk about sports...
You don't see me in the kitchen telling them how to make a sandwich.
Why are women terrible drivers?
Because making sandwiches behind the wheel is a lot harder than making them in the kitchen.
Women belong in the kitchen.
Men belong in the Kitchen.
Everyone belongs in the kitchen.
Kitchen has food.
Husband: Scientists have found that men say about 10,000 words a day, while women say about 20,000...
Wife (Shouting from the kitchen): "It's because we have to repeat everything twice to you blockheads!"
Husband: "What?"
Why do 19th century western women insist on staying in the kitchen?
It's easier to control the arsenic.
Why do women have legs
So they can go to the kitchen, the bedroom and back
Why are women such bad drivers?
Because there is no road from the kitchen to the bedroom.
*WARNING* /Sexist
...Why can't women ski....?
...cause there's no snow in the kitchen.
Did you hear about the women that was hit by a car
How did the car get in the kitchen
Why is the laundary usually right next to the kitchen?
Women aren't very good with directions.
What does women and food have it common
It's meant to be in the kitchen, but I also like eating it in bed
All those men who think that women belong in the kitchen,
Have no idea what to do with them in the bedroom.
Why are women's feet smaller than men's?
Because it allows them to stand closer to the kitchen counter
When is the only time you don't see to many women in the kitchen
When the chiefs are highly paid professionals
What do you do then your woman is out of the kitchen?
You go tighten the leash.
sorry gals..
What is the difference between women and batteries?
Batteries have a plus side..
I'm done..
Did you hear about that new standing desk specifically designed for women?
They call it "kitchen sink".
Why do women have small feet and get married in white?
To match the kitchen appliances and get closer to the sink to wash up.
Two elderly couples are enjoying a visit
The men are in the living room, and the women are in the kitchen chatting over coffee.
One of the men says, "My wife and I had dinner at a new restaurant last night. It was excellent!"
"Oh!" says his friend. "What restaurant was it?"
The man thinks hard for a moment, then shakes his head. "I'm afraid my memory is just awful these days. What do you call that flower with a big red bloom that smells wonderful?"
"Rose?"
"That's it! HEY ROSE, WHAT RESTAURANT DID WE GO TO LAST NIGHT??"
a man was in a party with his friend barney
he asked his friend: "how do you get women to like you so much?"
barney replied: "i have a trick, every time i meet them i squeeze them on the b**..., it has some kind of pavlovian effect or something but it always works"
the man then went home, him and his wife haven't had s**... for a couple of months now so he thought he should try this trick.
his wife was in the kitchen, he approached her from behind and squeezed her a**...
his wife replied: "oh barney is that you?"
