I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke.
I've never had coffee but it smells really nice
I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women.
But when I got out of prison, it was totally worth it
'Mmm?'
'Not that many!'
Educated and free.
She couldn't do either!
She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific so I said
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
They're like, "Hey, what's your friends name?" Never works on me ladies.
Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn't at least 10% off
But not my Sister.
Even in the afterlife, XXX is still beating women
So if you're a good driver watch out.
Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not 10% off
Friends.
Because for the last 200 years they've been told that three inches are actually six.
I ask her: I have lost my wife, can I talk to you?
She replies: Why?
I say: You will see in 20 seconds.
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Round and irrational.
Happy Pi Day everyone!
I laughed and replied, "Don't be silly, he gave us women."
...I only look at the covered parts.
So men may think on a solution in silence
The Trump card.
On my lap.
Turned on.
Virus free.
And says "ladies, is anything ok?"
The Trump card.
Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with
Roman 2: mmm?
Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many
Nothing, they're fine.
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with.
I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
Hot, clean, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her.
Then they call me ugly and poor.
1. You should find a woman that helps you with the cleaning and the chores,
2. You should find a woman that is a good cook,
3. You should find a woman that you can trust and share your feelings with,
4. You should find a woman that enjoys making love to you,
5. Last and the most important thing is that these 4 women should never meet.
Man:"Why did you make women so beautiful?"
God:"So you would love her."
Man:"Then why did you make her so dumb?"
God:"So she would love you."
A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sex with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
but it's a lot harder to **deter gents**.
But now that I'm out of prison I can honestly say that it was worth it.
Their knees.
(Not sure if this one translates well to english)
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
There's only one iron.
That's because women like to kill one man slowly over many many years.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.
Wedding cake
They had obviously been drinking a lot, and were speaking loudly with heavy accents. After an hour he becomes annoyed with the noise, walks over to them and asks, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you two ladies from Scotland?"
"Wales, you idiot!", shouts the fattest one.
"I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Scotland?"
If you count the women
Today i asked a pretty young homeless women if i could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when i walked off with her cardboard box.
I support killing babies, but I don't support giving women a choice.
Turns out it's consent.
The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit.
The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.
The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
When you're a billionaire.
19, breathtaking, and easily spread
Well obviously. How many women do you know named David?
If they're under 16, do them in your head.
They'd be even more possessive.
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