Women Golf Jokes
38 women golf jokes and hilarious women golf puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about women golf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Women Golf Short Jokes
Short women golf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The women golf humour may include short womens golf jokes also.
- Women playing golf goes to doctor She tells the doctor while playing golf a bee stung her between the first hole and the second hole, the doctor replies your stance is to wide
- You hear they are letting women into the Augusta national golf club? They recieve green aprons instead of green jackets.
- Been watching women's golf on the TV this morning... They don't appear to be very good at driving but they're great with an iron.
- Did you see the story about the women that was blinded at the Ryder Cup? She went to see the golf with her own eyes....and then got a hole-in-one
- My wife recently won the Annual Women's Golf Meet in our district Needless to say, I have started calling her the "i**... Champion of the County "
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Women Golf One Liners
Which women golf one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with women golf? I can suggest the ones about ladies golf and golf wives.
- I like my women like I like my golf scores In the mid 70's with a slight handicap
- I like my women like I like my golf game Around 80 and handicapped.
- I like my women like I like my golf game, mid-80s with a slight handicap.
- I like my women how I like my golf scores... Low 80's with a slight handicapp
- Why do women only use putters while playing golf? Because women can't drive.
- Golf Vs Women Why don't women play golf?
Because they s**... at driving.
Great Women Golf Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about women golf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean golf jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make women golf pranks.
Two men are playing golf when one realises he's left his jacket at the last tee
He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back.
"What's up?" asks his mate.
"Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress."
His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you."
He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."
Two men are playing golf when one realizes he's left his jacket at the last tee
He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back.
"What's up?" asks his mate.
"Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress."
His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you."
He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."
My son wanted me to buy him GTA
When I got to the store, I couldn't remember the title. So I told the guy "it's the game where the black guy drives cars round drunk, and shags loads of women"
He gave me a copy of tiger woods PGA golf
Two good friends go golfing
Two good friends go golfing and they come up on two women who are moving like molasses. o**... says that he'll go up and ask if they can play through. When he's half way to the women, he freezes, turns around and comes back pretty pale.
"Sorry man, I can't do it! One's my wife and the other my mistress!"
The other guy says he'll ask instead. Halfway to the women he suddenly stops turns around and comes back shaking his head. "Small world bro!"
A joke I was told by an old man I golfed with.
A man was at the bar with a couple of his neighbors. One of his friends says "Have you seen that new pool boy the Johnsons hired? I heard he's had his way with all the women in the neighborhood except one."
Worried, the man goes home and confronts his wife. "Honey I heard the new pool boy has had with every woman in the neighborhood except one, do you know anything about that?" She replies "hmm, I bet it's Betty, she's a real p**...."
Small World
A lawyer and a doctor are golfing. There are two women ahead of them that are playing really slow, so the lawyer decides to ask them if they can play through. While driving up to them, he realizes the two women are his wife and mistress! He turns around without saying anything and tells the doctor the situation. After a few more holes the doctor has had enough. He goes to talk to the women but turns around before he gets there. When he gets back he looks at the lawyer and says, "Small world."
Two guys are playing golf...
...behind two women, and the women are taking forever.
One of the guys says, "This is getting ridiculous, I'm going to ask if we can play through."
He comes back a minute later, and says, "I can't talk to them, that's my wife and my girlfriend."
So the other guy says he'll see what he can do.
He comes back and says, "Small world."
Two men are playing a round of golf when they get stuck behind two women.
Eventually one of the men walks over to ask if they can play through. He scuttles back and says, "When I got closer, I realized it was my wife and mistress; You go and ask them instead."
The other one walks over to the women but hurries back and says, "Small world."
Two guys are playing golf.......
The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.
So one man says to his friend, ‟I am gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through.
He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.
He replies, ‟One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why do not you go talk to them?
So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around.
When he gets back, his friend asks, ‟Now what happened?
To this he replies, ‟Small world.
I was playing golf last weekend
There were two women ahead of us playing very slowly.
After 5 holes, I'd had enough, and went ahead to ask if we could play through.
I soon came back with a look of t**... on my face, and said it was my wife and my mistress and there was no way I could approach them and ask to play through, would he do it instead?
He went ahead, then returned and said "it's a small world, isn't it?"
A married couple go golfing every year for their anniversary.
During their 50th anniversary outing, the husband says, "Honey, I love you very much but I have to be honest with you. Early in our marriage I had an affair. It was strictly s**..., and it ended quickly."
His wife smiles and forgives him, but after a couple holes says, "Since we're confessing old transgressions, I should tell you that before we were married... I was a man."
The husband pauses, then becomes furious. He throws his hat to the ground, turns beat red and paces around. Finally he says, "You mean to tell me I've let you tee off from the women's tee all these years for nothing!"
Two guys were playing golf
Two guys were playing golf, and they were annoyed because there were two women ahead of them playing very slowly. One of the guys decided to ask if they could play through. He walked over about halfway, they suddenly turned around very quickly and came back.
"That was close," he said. "One of those women is my wife, and the other one is my mistress! If they both recognized me, I'd have been in real trouble."
"Don't worry," the other guy said. "I'll go ask if we can play through."
He started over towards them, then he, too, suddenly turned back.
"Talk about your coincidences!"
More golf jokes
Two guys are playing golf, but they are stuck behind two women who are really taking their time.
First guy says: "I'm gonna go over there and see if they won't let us pass".
So he walks over there, but once he gets closer to the women he quickly turns around and comes back.
First guy: "Man, I can't talk to them. One is my wife, the other is my mistress."
So then the second guy goes to talk to them, but he also quickly turns around and comes back and says:
"My, how small the world is..."
Three sheiks brag about the size of their family
I have 5 sons. If I wanted to I could form my own basketball team.
Oh yeah? Well I have 11 sons. If I wanted to I could form my own football team.
The third one is in a pinch, since he was blessed only with daughters. But then he thinks of something to brag about.
Oh yeah? Well I have 18 wives.
The other two look at him wondering what sport needs 18 members in its team or how women can be involved. Then the answer comes.
If I wanted to I could form my own golf course.
A man takes his wife golfing
They always go together every Sunday for the past 25 years of their marriage
One Sunday they got to the 9th hole and the woman stops her husband and says "Honey, we've been together 25 years and I trust you with all of my heart. With that being said, I haven't been completely honest with you during this relationship."
The wife goes on and eventually explains to the husband that she was actually born a man.
The husband is in shock and walks away in anger after hearing the news.
Finally the husband returns after thinking long and hard about what he had just heard and says to his wife: ......."You mean to tell me all of these years you've been hitting from the women's tees?!"
Two guys are playing golf.......
The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.
So one man says to his friend, "I'm gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through."
He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.
He replies, "One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why don't you go talk to them?"
So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around.
When he gets back, his friend asks, "Now what happened?"
To this he replies, "Small world."
A couple of women are playing golf on one sunny Saturday morning...
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball veered off into a f**... of men. Indeed the ball hit one of the men who then immediately clasped his hand near his c**... and went into a fetal position. The women rushed to his side and started to apologize. She said "Please allow me to help, I'm a physical therapist, I can relieve your pain." he denies the help and continues to roll around in his fetal position. After minutes of begging the women is finally allowed to help the man. First she unzipps his pants and starts to massage him. Once she is done she asks, "how do you feel now?" the man replies "that felt great but my THUMB still hurts a lot!"
FOUR!
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a f**... of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground, and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position...still clasping his hands at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel?'
'Feels great,' he replied, 'but I still think my thumb's broken!'
Man killed on golf course
A f**... of guys waiting at the men's tee while a f**... of women were hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies were taking their time. When the final lady was ready to hit her ball, she hacked it 10 feet. Then she went over and whiffed it completely. Then she hacked it another ten feet and finally hacked it another five feet.
She looked up at the patiently waiting men and said apologetically, "I guess all those f*****g lessons I took over the winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately responded, "Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck. He was 43.
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher.
Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
