The Best 35 Women Cooking Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Women Cooking jokes. There are some women cooking jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these women cooking puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Women Cooking Jokes and Puns

5 advices to men for a happy life

1. You should find a woman that helps you with the cleaning and the chores,

2. You should find a woman that is a good cook,

3. You should find a woman that you can trust and share your feelings with,

4. You should find a woman that enjoys making love to you,

5. Last and the most important thing is that these 4 women should never meet.

COWBOY TOMBSTONE JOKE

Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah! I wonder if he died knowing he won the 'Coolest Headstone' contest? His five rules for a happy life are below.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO LIVE HAPPY LIFE!

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, whom you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be in it with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other

Five secrets of a perfect Relationship

1. It`s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job.
2. It`s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It`s important to have a woman you can trust and who would never lie.
4. It`s important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.
5. It`s absolutely important that these four women never meet.

My Dad told me to find a woman that likes to cook, clean, and have sex.

The most important thing though was to make sure that these three women never meet.


Advice from my father

Son, you need a woman who can cook, a woman who can clean, a woman that is great in bed. Most importantly, you must make sure these three women never meet.

Happy Saturday night from Pennsylvania

The five secrets to happiness (a Man's guide):

1. Find a woman who can make you laugh

2. Find a woman who can cook

3. Find a woman who really listens to you

4. Find a woman who is good in bed

5. Make sure these four women do not find out about each other

Secrets to a happy marriage

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.

2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.

3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.

and MOST important...

4. It is important that these three women never meet.

The 4 rules of marriage.

A father was explaining to his son the secrets of marriage,

"Son you there are only a few things you need in a marriage:
A woman who can cook, a woman who can clean, a woman who can satisfy you in the bedroom, and lastly you need to make sure none of these women ever meet."

A woman wants to divorce her husband, so she is talking to her lawyer.

Lawyer: "Well first we need a reason, is he not giving you money?"

Woman: "if he hides as much as a dollar from me, I'm not cooking for him for three days straight."

Lawyer: "Well is he beating you?"

Woman: "Him? I'd throw him through the window, with my left hand only"

Lawyer: "How about being faithful?"

Women: "That's where we get him! The second child is not from him."

A women invites 3 military men to her house

During WW2 many families near military bases would invite service men over to their house for an evening to forget about the war, and to enjoy a home cooked meal. So a women calls the military base and says she would like to invite 3 men over but expresses that they CANNOT be Jews. Absolutely no Jews. The base commander says fine he will send 3 over on Sunday. She agreed and hanged up. On Sunday a jeep drives up and 3 black men got out of the vehicle. The women is in shock and asks the men is this a mistake? Surely this HAS to be a mistake! One of the men replies, "No ma'am, Captain Goldstein never makes a mistake."

You can explore women cooking reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean women cooking dad jokes. There are also women cooking puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


THE 5 Secrets to a perfect marriage

1. Have a wife who is a great Cook
2. Have a wife who is great at cleaning
3. Have a wife who is a monster in bed
4. Have a wife who is great with your kids.
5. Make sure those 4 women NEVER MEET.

To have a successful marriage, every man has to follow these four steps...

1. Find a woman who will love you unconditionally.
2. Find a woman who will always cook for you.
3. Find a woman who will always want to have sex with you.
4. And most importantly, ensure that none of these women ever meet.

5 Important Qualities to have in your women:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who likes to be with you.
5. It's very important that these four women do not know each other.

A man deserves a woman who he enjoys spending time with, who can fulfill his desires, and who can cook.

But most importantly, he must make sure that these women never meet.

A man marries a women who is a very good cook..

Every time she makes something he says,
"This doesnt taste like how my mom used to make it."

Final after a year of this at every meal she angrily asks, " How did your moms taste??!!"

"Awful" He replies.

A very common male fantasy, is to have two women at the same time...

one to cook, one to clean

Why did God invent women?

Because sheep can't cook.

4 rules for a happy marriage

1. It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans.

2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money.

3. It is important to find a woman who loves to have sex.

4. It is very important that these three women never meet!!


Women are good for 70 things

Cooking and 69

The Five Secrets To Happiness…

The Five Secrets to Happiness

Number one: Find a woman who can make you laugh.

Number two: Find a woman who can cook.

Number three: Find a woman who actually listens to you.

Number four: Find a woman who's good in bed.

And number five, the most important secret:

Make sure that these four women never find out about each-other.

Why are men better cooks than women?

Because with a sausage, a couple of eggs, and some cream, a man can keep a woman full for 9 months.

The average women..

The average women reads 18 books a year. The average man reads 12.

It's really not a fair comparison though....Cook books are shorter.

Wise words from a Gravestone

In life... a man needs a woman he can laugh with,

a woman who will cook for him,

a woman who he can enjoys life's adventures with,

and it's super important that these women never meet,

Otherwise you will end up in the ground like me.

According to a recent study, men on dating sites are more popular if they mention dancing or cooking.

Because if there's one thing women love, it's a man who can lie.

Five Important qualities

1. Its important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. Its important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. Its important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesnt lie to you.
4. Its important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. Its very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

What a man deserves.

A man deserves a woman who he enjoys spending time with, a woman who can fulfill his desires, and a woman who can cook. Most importantly, he must make sure these women never meet each other.

Women are so ungrateful...

When I cook dinner for a woman, hearing "who are you" and "how did you get in my house" is so unnecessary.

A very common male fantasy is to have 2 women at the same time

One to cook, one to clean..


Ok ban me but joke is funny.

I tried starting a unisex cooking group focused on fried foods

But no one will join me in "The Battered Men & Women's Club"

Women love to cook

Because they get to continuously change something until it's exactly what they want

They say if you can't beat 'em, join 'em...

But I don't see how joining a cooking class is going to stop me from beating women.

(

I like my women like I like my wine

cooked with beef bourguignon

Women are finally being allowed to join the SAS!

About time as well, there's no way those brave lads should be cooking their own meals.

The stupidest thing my dad ever said was that women are only good for sex...

what about cooking and cleaning?!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the women cooking jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working women cooking piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes