Women Age Jokes
79 women age jokes and hilarious women age puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about women age that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Women Age Short Jokes
Short women age jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The women age humour may include short women of age jokes also.
- I heard married women sometimes grow an appendage out of their back side as they age. Maybe it's just an old wives tail.
- As a middle aged man I love going up to pretty young women who are staring at their cellphone screens and asking Are you my tinder date?
- My taste in women is much like my taste in wine Right now i like them younger, sweeter, and prettier. As i age, i start to like them older, more bitter, and contributing to my alcoholism.
- When women get to a certain age, they start collecting cats..... This is known as the many paws.
- My friend told he was always chasing girls in the 90's... Nowadays he dates women that are closer to his own age.
- Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The policeman said, "What's he like?"
Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!" - I like my whiskey like I like my women. Irish, aged 18 years and mix up with a little coke.
- I am starting a club for middle aged women to gather and find younger men to take home and make love to in front of their husbands. I'll call it, the Coug Cucks Clan.
- Women and Wine I like my women like my wine, aging in the cellar.
- They say it's rude to ask a women's age... So what's your weight?
Share These Women Age Jokes With Friends
Women Age One Liners
Which women age one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with women age? I can suggest the ones about older woman and men women.
- When women reach a certain age they start accumulating cats This is known as many paws
- How do you measure the obnoxiousness of middle-aged white women? In degrees Karenheit.
- When women get to a certain age they begin to accumulate cats This is known as many paws.
- I like my whisky like I like my women Aged 12 years in a cellar.
- Women age like fine wines... The older they get, the harder they are to come by.
- I like my women how I like my scotch, Aged 18 years and mixed with a little coke.
- I like my women like I like my Scotch Preferably aged 18 years but I could settle for 12
- When women get to a certain age, they begin to collect cats… It's called Manypaws.
- Few women admit their age; few men act it.
- I like my women how I like my wine. Aged 10 and locked in the celler.
- If a women is under the age of 90 she's Acutie, if shes 90 she's just right.
- I like my women like I like my scotch Aged thirteen years in an oak barrel.
- I like my wine how I like my women Perfectly aged with a full body.
- Women age like fine wine... In my basement
- I like my women like I like my cheese... Aged, White, and Covered in holes.
Giggle-Inducing Women Age Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about women age you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean age difference jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make women age pranks.
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.
Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.
The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France."
The new man asked, "What happened?"
"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
A 90 year old women goes to the doctor.
Dr i can't stop f**..., sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more.
Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.
Dr what did you do to me not only am i still f**... now they smell as well!
Oh very well , now about your hearing...
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ...
20 years old and mixed up with coke !
What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?
At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 – You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 – If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!
Doctor: "Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness.
It is only an indication of old age."
Husband: "Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator.
On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce."
On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce."
The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Age is important only if you're cheese and wine.
I'd like to say the best moment of a woman's life is giving birth, but it's actually seeing an old nemesis and realizing she got really fat.
Your mother so old she breast milk turn into powder milk.
In 34 years I've said I love you to two women and every dog I've ever seen.
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey. 20 years old and mixed up with coke!
c**... are like cow pats - the older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
Me: Yay! No more periods! Menopause: Wait, here's a beard.
When we were young, we would compare liquor and women. Now we compare statins.
I like my women like I like my r**......
Aged 12 years and mixed up in coke.
I agree
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold soda.
The day was really quite beautiful,
and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about the age old question:
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful
than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another soda, and some heavy deductive thinking,
I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby;
and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say,
"It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Two women meet over a coffee.
"Ah, Marie, I haven't seen you in years, what's going on in your life?"
"I have met a charming and well-off young man half my age."
"Majestic."
"Indeed. He took me to Paris, we dined in the finest restaurant, bought paintings from the vernissage!"
"Majestic!"
"Once we marry, he insists that I retire to our moderately sized European house, free to pursue my leisure activities."
"Definitely majestic!"
"But enough about me. Tell me about yourself, Annette. What are you up to lately?"
"I signed for an etiquette class. We've already learned to say 'majestic' instead of 'fucking h**...'"
I took my grandfather to the mall the other day
While circling the lot trying to find a place to park, he said out of nowhere "These spots are like the women my age"
I looked at him blankly.
"They're all taken or handicapped!"
I like my women like I like my whiskey...
Aged 12 years.
Which hurts worse: a kick in the nuts, or having a baby?
This has been a debate over the ages: which hurts worse, getting a swift kick to the nuts or birthing a child. It's kind of hard to say since men and women are quite different creatures, but I have noticed something. If a woman goes through childbirth, sometimes a year or so later, she'll ask to have another baby. However, a man who has taken a kick to the jewels...
A man and his wife were watching Family Feud...
When this question came up:
"What age do women stop looking for Mr.Perfect and settle for Mr.Okay?"
"25!" his wife shouted.
"What, that's crazy!" the man argued.
"Well that's when I married you."
When it comes to age, women are a lot like wine.
I mean, who doesn't love 16 year-old wine.
I like my women like I like my board games...
Ages 7-99.
Women are like grapes.
Some age like fine wine.
Some age like raisins.
I like my women like I like my puzzles.
Ages 3-5
Roy Moore likes his women like he likes his Scotch
Aged twelve years, mixed up with coke, and stored in the basement
Roy Moore Was Popular With White Women Voters
I guess that's because once they reach voting age, they no longer feel threatened by him.
I like my women like my r**...
Aged 13 years and swimming in coke
Disclaimer: This is a joke! I do NOT condone mixing r**... and coke!
More and more married women are being diagnosed with aged vacuum disease
They start making strange noises all the time and don't s**... any more
What do you call it when a woman quits her job at the age of 45 to help women deliver babies?
A Midwife Cwisis
From former prime minister of Italy : Have you heard about the survey? They asked women aged between 20 and 30 whether they'd make love to Berlusconi."
"....33 percent of them said 'yes' and 67 percent said 'again?'
Two middle aged women are in Boston's fish market on Friday.
"I come here every Friday to get scrod!"
"I do too, but I didn't know it has a past tense."
I like my Wine like i like my Women
White and well aged.
George Burns
In his later years, the comedian George Burns was being interviewed by a shapely female journalist.
FJ: Mr. Burns, is it true that at your age, you still smoke six cigars every day?
GB: (eyes downcast) Yes, it's true.
FJ: And is it true you drink 3 or 4 martinis every day?
GB: Yes, that's true.
FJ: And is it true that you still chase after women half your age?
GB: Yes, I do.
FJ: What does your doctor have to say about all this?
GB: He's dead.
Ageism joke
A son asks his father: How do women age?
The father answers:" Women age just like onions, son. They bloat with each year, until they start to stink like a spoiled, rotten, onion."
The wife hears and tells the son:" That's nothing! Men age like Christmas trees. First they loose the leafs, then the b**... fall off."