The Best 59 Wolf Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Wolf jokes. There are some wolf awarewolf jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these wolf bear puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Wolf Jokes and Puns

"Wolfgang Mozart", says Mozart's friend...

"What?!" replies Mozart. Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves.

Two blondes go hiking.

Two blondes go hiking and come across some tracks. The first blonde stops and says they are wolf tracks, while the second blonde says they are bear tracks. After an hour of arguing the train runs them over.

Three Blondes

Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Hey guys, look at the bear tracks." The second blonde said, "Are you stupid? Those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong! Those are fox tracks!" They were all still arguing when the train hit them.

Wolf joke, Three Blondes

What did the wolfman say to the sentient AI?

I am a were

Two blondes are in the woods looking at a set of tracks.

"They're wolf tracks," says the first.

"No way! Those are fox tracks!" Exclaims the second.

The two fight back and forth so loud they didn't hear the train coming.

Three hunters come across some tracks in the middle of the woods...

The first hunter says its wolf tracks the second says its bear tracks the third was hit by a trian

Red Ridin' Hood's Grandma

One day Little Red Riding Hood was walking to her grandmother's house. She knocks on the door, but all she hears is screams. So she throws open the door and sees the Big Bad Wolf and her grandmother in the bed. She exclaims, "Grandma, are you alright? I thought the Big Bad Wolf was eating you!" The grandmother replies, "He was, until you showed up."

Wolf joke, Red Ridin' Hood's Grandma

The Wolf of Wall Street broke the record for saying the f-word 506 times

The previous record was held by my dad putting together a table from IKEA.

Three Blondes

Three blondes are hiking in the woods when they see some tracks.

1st blonde: Look guys, deer tracks!

2nd blonde: No, stupid, they're wolf tracks!

3rd blonde: You guys are both dumb, they're clearly bear tracks!

Then they got hit by a train.

What do you call a wolf you cant find?

A where wolf.

What's the singular form of 'werewolves'?

I am a wolf

You can explore wolf deer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean wolf werewolves dad jokes. There are also wolf puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Three blondes are walking through the forest

when they come upon a set of tracks. The first says "These are obviously wolf tracks." The second says "You must be high! they're cougar tracks." The third replies "You're both retarded. They are definitely bear tracks!" They're still arguing when the train hits.

What do you call a wolf that's aware of its surroundings?


What do you call a wolf with Stockholm Syndrome?

A Dog.

Three blondes discovers animal tracks in the road

The first blond says "these are deer tracks"

The second blond says "you're wrong, these are fox tracks"

The third blond says "you're both wrong, these are clearly wolf tracks"

Then while they're arguing over what kind of tracks they are, they all get hit by a train.

What do you call a lycanthrope you've snuck up on?

An unaware wolf.

Wolf joke, What do you call a lycanthrope you've snuck up on?

The sentence "I'm aware" isn't very scary

Unless you put Wolf on the end.

A lycanthrope transforms in front of his friend for the first time.

A lycanthrope transforms in front of his friend for the first time.

His friend says "oh my god, you just turned into a wolf!"

He replies: "yes. I am a were."

A fox, a wolf and a weasel all go to a restaurant.

The waitress comes over and asks what they want to drink.
"Water" says the Fox,
"Coffee" growls the Wolf,
And "Pop!" Goes the Weasel!

At a psychiatric ward: Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6?

He believes he's a wolf.
Doctor: Whatever you do, don't let his grandmother visit!

Three blondes were walking in the woods...

Three blondes were walking in the woods. They found some tracks. The first said "oh its wolf tracks!" The second said, "No, its horse tracks." And the third one said "I think its pig tracks" shortly after they were all hit by a train.

What does a wolf hunter consider success?

Smoking a pack a day.

What did the taxi driver say to the wolf?


I think there is nothing cooler than being a lone wolf.

except for at wolf picnics, when you don't have a partner for the wolf wheelbarrow races.

What do you call a sleeping wolf?

An unawarewolf.

Three squirrels were sitting on animal hides...

The first squirrel was sitting on a rabbit hide and weighed one pound. The second squirrel was sitting on a wolf hide and weighed two pounds. And the third squirrel was sitting on a hippopotamus hide and weighed three pounds. This proves that the squirrel on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squirrels on the other two hides.

Three blondes were hiking in the woods when they came upon some tracks...

The first blonde said "We'd better be careful, I think these are bear tracks!"

The second blonde says "No, I'm almost certain these are mountain lion tracks!"

The third blonde says "Your both wrong, these are wolf tracks!"

They were still arguing 20 minutes later when the train hit them.

What do you call a wolf that meditates

Aware wolf

What do you call a house that turns into a wolf during a full moon?

A warehouse.

So the Wolf of Wall Street has the f word used 569 times making almost 3 times a minute

That record was broken by my dad this afternoon while trying to assemble an ikea tv stand

Three hunters find a set of tracks in the woods

The first hunter says, Hey guys, I think these are moose tracks!

The second one says, No, I'm pretty sure these are wolf tracks.

The third one didn't say anything, because they all got hit by a train.

Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks.

Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. Intrigued, they go to investigate.

The first one says: I'm pretty sure those are bear tracks.

The second one says: No, I'm pretty sure they're wolf tracks.

The third one thinks for a while, then says Actually-

They were all hit by a passing train.

You've heard of "boy who cried wolf", but what about "man who cried pig"?

I heard the rest of the blind date was pretty awkward!

What do you call a disoriented lycanthrope?

A where wolf

I taught a wolf how to meditate

Now it's aware wolf

Wolf sighting

Husband: Honey I think I just saw a wolf!

Wife: where?

Husband: No, a regular one.

Did you hear about the cow that cried wolf?

Fake Moos!

What does the Big Bad Wolf do to get high?

He huffs and he puffs.

What monster are miners scared of?

The canary wolf.

Mozart runs into a bar...

He's scratched and bleeding and can barely stand.

The bartender asks, What's wrong?!? What happened?!?

Mozart gasps as he collapses to the floor, I was just attacked by a wolf gang and now imma dazed!

(Just an awful joke I came up with to brother my bother. )

What did Grendel's girlfriend say when a dangerous canine started to approach them?

Look out, bae! A wolf!

I joined a naked wolf hunting group.

But it turns out only the wolf is naked.

Wolf down this joke fellows

-Knock knock
"Who's there"
"Howl who ?"
-"Howl you know unless you open the door ?"

First dirty joke I ever learned...from my mother

Little Red Riding Hood: Mr. Big Bad Wolf, are you going to eat me whole?

Mr. Big Bad: No, when I come to that part, I am going to spit it out.

The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?!"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

The Wolf of Wall Street

Martin Scorsese's film "The Wolf of Wall Street" broke a record by using the word "F**k" or "F**king" 506 times. That actually beats a record set by me in 2010, trying to put an Ikea chair together.

What do you call a lost wolf?

A where-wolf

Why did the wolf meditate?

To become aware wolf

I taught a wolf to meditate

Now he is aware wolf

What do you call a careful wolf?


I saw a stage production of "The Three Pigs" yesterday.

The pigs were pretty boaring, but the wolf really brought down the house.

Little Red Riding Hood walks alone through the dark forest.

Suddenly she hears a rustling behind a thick bush.

She pushes the branches and bushes aside and suddenly the big bad wolf is sitting in front of her.

"Oh, bad wolf. Why do you have such big red eyes?"

"Get out of here. I'm pooping!"

911: what's your emergency?

**pig:** a wolf just blew my house down!

**911:** HOLY SHI—

**pig:** I know right?

**911 [covering phone]:** Frank, theres a talking pig on the other line

OMG there's a wolf!


No, the regular kind.

Wolf and Lion

The lion called out to the wolf:

-Hey wolf! Come on, let's talk.

-No way. You're going to eat me.

-I won't eat you. If you don't believe me, I'll tie my paws and my mouth.

When the lion tied his paws and mouth, the wolf approached with excitement.

-"Good but", said the lion... "Why are you so happy?"

Wolf replied:

-I'm going to eat a lion for the first time...

I thought I saw a Direwolf, but it turns out it was just a regular wolf.

I can't believe I got the two confused, the differences are Stark.

A group of Native Americans are sitting around a campfire

A young brave asks the others, "When will I be given a name?"

"When you distinguish yourself in the tribe," answers Thundering Buffalo.

"Then the elders will recognize you with a name," says Rides By Moonlight.

"It is the proudest moment of a young brave's life," says Silent Wolf.

"Eh, it's overrated," says Shits In Breechcloth.

What do you call a wolf that is woke?


(credit goes to my GF, who's apparently practicing her dad humor. *sigh* please, don't wreck my karma)

What do you call a monster with multiple personality disorder?

A we're wolf.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the wolf snout jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working wolf unawarewolf piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes