Wolf Jokes
119 wolf jokes and hilarious wolf puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about wolf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make everyone howl with laughter with these hilarious wolf jokes! From lone wolves to angry wolves in the forest, find out why the coyote is chasing the deer and more. Have fun with these puns and one-liners and make your next joke night a roaring success.
Funniest Wolf Short Jokes
Short wolf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wolf humour may include short lion jokes also.
- What do you call a wolf that is woke? Awarewolf
(credit goes to my GF, who's apparently practicing her dad humor. *sigh* please, don't wreck my karma) - A fox, a wolf and a weasel all go to a restaurant. The waitress comes over and asks what they want to drink.
"Water" says the Fox,
"Coffee" growls the Wolf,
And "Pop!" Goes the Weasel! - So the Wolf of Wall Street has the f word used 569 times making almost 3 times a minute That record was broken by my dad this afternoon while trying to assemble an ikea tv stand
- Why was the woodman able to save little red riding hood and her grandma so quickly? Because he knew "Inside every wolf there are two people..."
- Did you hear about the Russian wolf that wandered into Ukraine and got in a trap? It chewed off three of it's legs and was still caught in the trap.
- Wolf down this joke fellows -Knock knock
"Who's there"
-"Howl"
"Howl who ?"
-"Howl you know unless you open the door ?" - Wolf sighting Husband: Honey I think I just saw a wolf!
Wife: where?
Husband: No, a regular one. - The Wolf of Wall Street broke the record for saying the f-word 506 times The previous record was held by my dad putting together a table from IKEA.
- What do you call a careful wolf? awarewolf
- if a were-wolf doesn't know that he is a were-wolf, He is unaware-wolf!
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Wolf One Liners
Which wolf one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wolf? I can suggest the ones about worm and moth.
- My five year old's joke: What do you call a sausage in a room with a hungry wolf? A wolf.
- What do you call a wolf that meditates Aware wolf
- What do you call a wolf that's aware of its surroundings? Awarewolf
- What do you call a lycanthrope you've snuck up on? An unaware wolf.
- What's a wolf's favorite leafy green? awoooooogula
- What do you call a wolf with Stockholm Syndrome? A Dog.
- I taught my pet wolf to meditate. Now he's aware wolf.
- What do you call a disoriented lycanthrope? A where wolf
- What mythical creature always gets lost? A where-wolf
- What's the singular form of 'werewolves'? I am a wolf
- What do you call a canine with no sense of direction? A Where-wolf
- I taught a wolf to meditate Now he is aware wolf
- What do you call a wolf who reads philosophy? AWAREWOLF
- What do you call a wolf you cant find? A where wolf.
- Why did the wolf meditate? To become aware wolf
Wolf Pack Jokes
Here is a list of funny wolf pack jokes and even better wolf pack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does a wolf hunter consider success? Smoking a pack a day.
- When a male grey wolf takes over a pack, he adopts his rival's puppies He becomes the SteppenWolf
- Did you hear about the wolf that left his pack for banking? He's a loan wolf now.
- If a man has six sheep and one wolf eats two of his sheep. How many sheep does he have now? Zero, wolves always travel in packs.
- What is a wolf's favourite dance move? The Shuffle
... pack of wolves. - Why is there a wolf in the smoke shop? He's just looking for a pack.
Lone Wolf Jokes
Here is a list of funny lone wolf jokes and even better lone wolf puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I think there is nothing cooler than being a lone wolf. except for at wolf picnics, when you don't have a partner for the wolf wheelbarrow races.
- So this is society.. Muslim Shooter = entire religion guilty
Black Shooter = entire race guilty
White shooter = mentally troubled lone wolf - In another news, a t**... attack has blown away two houses, One made of straws and one made of wood. Police believe that the suspect is a lone wolf.
Cheerful Wolf Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about wolf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean frog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wolf pranks.
"Wolfgang Mozart", says Mozart's friend...
"What?!" replies Mozart. Then they are both eaten by a gang of wolves.
Two blondes go hiking.
Two blondes go hiking and come across some tracks. The first blonde stops and says they are wolf tracks, while the second blonde says they are bear tracks. After an hour of arguing the train runs them over.
Three Blondes
Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Hey guys, look at the bear tracks." The second blonde said, "Are you s**...? Those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong! Those are fox tracks!" They were all still arguing when the train hit them.
What did the wolfman say to the sentient AI?
I am a were
Two blondes are in the woods looking at a set of tracks.
"They're wolf tracks," says the first.
"No way! Those are fox tracks!" Exclaims the second.
The two fight back and forth so loud they didn't hear the train coming.
Three hunters come across some tracks in the middle of the woods...
The first hunter says its wolf tracks the second says its bear tracks the third was hit by a trian
Red Ridin' Hood's Grandma
One day Little Red Riding Hood was walking to her grandmother's house. She knocks on the door, but all she hears is screams. So she throws open the door and sees the Big Bad Wolf and her grandmother in the bed. She exclaims, "Grandma, are you alright? I thought the Big Bad Wolf was eating you!" The grandmother replies, "He was, until you showed up."
Three Blondes
Three blondes are hiking in the woods when they see some tracks.
1st blonde: Look guys, deer tracks!
2nd blonde: No, s**..., they're wolf tracks!
3rd blonde: You guys are both dumb, they're clearly bear tracks!
Then they got hit by a train.
Wolfgang Amadeus Moozart
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What do you call an oblivious wolf?
Unawerewolf
Three blondes walking by some tracks
Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said, "Look, it's deer tracks." The second one said, "No, it's wolf tracks" and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train.
Three blondes are walking through the forest
when they come upon a set of tracks. The first says "These are obviously wolf tracks." The second says "You must be high! they're cougar tracks." The third replies "You're both r**.... They are definitely bear tracks!" They're still arguing when the train hits.
What Hogwarts house was the Big Bad Wolf in?
Hufflepuff
Three blondes discovers animal tracks in the road
The first blond says "these are deer tracks"
The second blond says "you're wrong, these are fox tracks"
The third blond says "you're both wrong, these are clearly wolf tracks"
Then while they're arguing over what kind of tracks they are, they all get hit by a train.
A Werewolf:
A Very astute wolf
The sentence "I'm aware" isn't very scary
Unless you put Wolf on the end.
A lycanthrope transforms in front of his friend for the first time.
A lycanthrope transforms in front of his friend for the first time.
His friend says "oh my god, you just turned into a wolf!"
He replies: "yes. I am a were."
What is a wolfs favorite puzzle?
AWOOObix cube!
At a psychiatric ward: Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6?
He believes he's a wolf.
-
Doctor: Whatever you do, don't let his grandmother visit!
What is furry and red all over?
A wolf eating a baby.
(Just wanted to know if dead baby jokes still hit a note)
Three blondes were walking in the woods...
Three blondes were walking in the woods. They found some tracks. The first said "oh its wolf tracks!" The second said, "No, its horse tracks." And the third one said "I think its pig tracks" shortly after they were all hit by a train.
Wolfram-Alpha was recently shut down because of a flood of calculations that didn't make any sense at all being submitted at once.
It was quite a cheeky NaNDDoS.
What did the taxi driver say to the wolf?
Where-wolf.
What's the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf?
Werewolf
What do you call a sleeping wolf?
An unawarewolf.
What do you call a wolf whose whereabouts you don't know?
You call him by his name.
Three squirrels were sitting on animal hides...
The first squirrel was sitting on a rabbit hide and weighed one pound. The second squirrel was sitting on a wolf hide and weighed two pounds. And the third squirrel was sitting on a hippopotamus hide and weighed three pounds. This proves that the squirrel on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squirrels on the other two hides.
Forget Prince Charming
Go for the Wolf.
He can see you better, hear you better, and eat you better.
Three blondes were hiking in the woods when they came upon some tracks...
The first blonde said "We'd better be careful, I think these are bear tracks!"
The second blonde says "No, I'm almost certain these are mountain lion tracks!"
The third blonde says "Your both wrong, these are wolf tracks!"
They were still arguing 20 minutes later when the train hit them.
What do you get when you cross a badger, a wolf, and a Marine?
A nice new government job!
Did you hear about the dyslexic boy who cried fowl?
Nobody listened and the wolf ate him.
What do you call a house that turns into a wolf during a full moon?
A warehouse.
So I got here by train, the whole journey there was a child opposite me screaming.
I could even hear him through my wolf mask.
I was sat across from a screaming child on the train the other day...
... He was so loud I could hear him through my wolf mask.
Three hunters find a set of tracks in the woods
The first hunter says, Hey guys, I think these are moose tracks!
The second one says, No, I'm pretty sure these are wolf tracks.
The third one didn't say anything, because they all got hit by a train.
What Australian animal thinks it's a wolf?
A roooo
Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks.
Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. Intrigued, they go to investigate.
The first one says: I'm pretty sure those are bear tracks.
The second one says: No, I'm pretty sure they're wolf tracks.
The third one thinks for a while, then says Actually-
They were all hit by a passing train.
What Harry Potter house was the Big Bad Wolf in?
Huffle puff!
Do you know what a reverse werewolf is?
When a wolf sees a person and turns into the moon.
You've heard of "boy who cried wolf", but what about "man who cried pig"?
I heard the rest of the blind date was pretty awkward!
I taught a wolf to meditate.
Now he's a werewolf.
I taught a wolf how to meditate
Now it's aware wolf
Imagine the disappointment when if a wolf knew it's descendant would be a pug
That's how your grandpa feels when he sees your man bun
Did you hear about the cow that cried wolf?
Fake Moos!
What does the Big Bad Wolf do to get high?
He huffs and he puffs.
What monster are miners scared of?
The canary wolf.
What do you call a wolf in sheep's clothing?
A woolf.
Mozart runs into a bar...
He's scratched and bleeding and can barely stand.
The bartender asks, What's wrong?!? What happened?!?
Mozart gasps as he collapses to the floor, I was just attacked by a wolf gang and now imma dazed!
(Just an awful joke I came up with to brother my bother. )
What did Grendel's girlfriend say when a dangerous canine started to approach them?
Look out, bae! A wolf!
I joined a n**... wolf hunting group.
But it turns out only the wolf is n**....
Long ago a wolf explained to his son "eat a man and you'll be fed for a day,
Roll over and play dead and you'll be fed for the rest of your life"
Little Red Riding Hood and the s**... Master.
As a victim to be, I need to get closer to the Big Bad Wolf disguised as my grandmother so that he has a better user experience when he eats me.
First dirty joke I ever learned...from my mother
Little Red Riding Hood: Mr. Big Bad Wolf, are you going to eat me whole?
Mr. Big Bad: No, when I come to that part, I am going to spit it out.
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of t**...! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?!"
"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
The Wolf of Wall Street
Martin Scorsese's film "The Wolf of Wall Street" broke a record by using the word "F**k" or "F**king" 506 times. That actually beats a record set by me in 2010, trying to put an Ikea chair together.
What do you call a lost wolf?
A where-wolf
I saw a stage production of "The Three Pigs" yesterday.
The pigs were pretty boaring, but the wolf really brought down the house.
Little Red Riding Hood walks alone through the dark forest.
Suddenly she hears a rustling behind a thick bush.
She pushes the branches and bushes aside and suddenly the big bad wolf is sitting in front of her.
"Oh, bad wolf. Why do you have such big red eyes?"
"Get out of here. I'm p**...!"
911: what's your emergency?
**pig:** a wolf just blew my house down!
**911:** HOLY s**...—
**pig:** I know right?
**911 [covering phone]:** Frank, theres a talking pig on the other line
o**... there's a wolf!
Where?
No, the regular kind.
Wolf and Lion
The lion called out to the wolf:
-Hey wolf! Come on, let's talk.
-No way. You're going to eat me.
-I won't eat you. If you don't believe me, I'll tie my paws and my mouth.
When the lion tied his paws and mouth, the wolf approached with excitement.
-"Good but", said the lion... "Why are you so happy?"
Wolf replied:
-I'm going to eat a lion for the first time...
I thought I saw a Direwolf, but it turns out it was just a regular wolf.
I can't believe I got the two confused, the differences are Stark.
A group of Native Americans are sitting around a campfire
A young brave asks the others, "When will I be given a name?"
"When you distinguish yourself in the tribe," answers Thundering Buffalo.
"Then the elders will recognize you with a name," says Rides By Moonlight.
"It is the proudest moment of a young brave's life," says Silent Wolf.
"Eh, it's overrated," says s**... In Breechcloth.
What do you call a monster with multiple personality disorder?
A we're wolf.
