Wive Jokes

Funniest Wive Short Jokes

Short wive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wive humour may include short spouse jokes also.

1. Please becareful on the road Lots of people are drinking excessively and having their wives drive
2. 75% of men kiss their wives goodbye when they leave the house. 90% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wives.
3. How did the Polygamist Hippie count his wives? 1 Mrs. hippie, 2 Mrs. Hippie, 3 Mrs. Hippie......
4. Really awkward pick-up line. Me: You look like my first wife.
   Her: (surprised) How many wives have you had?
   Me: None
   *wedding music starts playing*
5. September was the first calendar month no nfl players were arrested in six years. Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month.
6. Two little boys are at a wedding when one leans over to other and asks: "How many wives are we allowed to have?"
   His friend answered "Sixteen. Four better, four worse, four richer and four poorer!"
7. I heard married women sometimes grow an appendage out of their back side as they age. Maybe it's just an old wives tail.
8. King henry viii had six wives. He beheaded two of them. Those were his axe wives.
   (this joke is courtesy of my father)
9. My buddy said that since both our wives were out of town, we absolutely had to go out to dinner and catch a movie together. It was a mandate.
10. after 3 weeks of lockdon I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself

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Wive One Liners

Which wive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wive? I can suggest the ones about divorced wife and beautiful wife.

1. Amish men can't motorboat their wives. They can only row boat them.
2. Four men are waiting for their wives in a marital ward.
3. A toast to wives, girlfriends, and lovers. May they never meet.
4. Why were the wives of a polygamist awarded a degree in physics? For splitting an Adam.
5. My ex wives were all good housekeepers.. ..When they left, they kept the house.
6. Wives are amazing magicians... They can turn anything into an argument.
7. What is the punishment for bigamy? Two wives.
8. Why do most car accidents happen when men are drunk? Because their wives are driving.
9. The only people who get more concussions than NFL players.. are their wives
10. What do you call a dad joke with no kids or wives around? Funny
11. Which month do wives complain the least? February because it has fewer days.
12. My wife is an angel. All my friends are jealous because their wives are still alive.
13. What do Romans say when their wives run away? Caesar!
14. Did you hear about the polygamist cat? He had nine wives!
15. So a Muslim man walks into an elementary school... To pick up his wives

Howlingly Hilarious Wive Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about wive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean english wife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wive pranks.